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Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind
Synopsis : Housewife, mother and teacher Carol Hollinger gives a hilarious account of her experiences during her stay in Thailand. A shrewd observer of customs, manners, and cultural differences, she writes frankly of herself and her fellow Americans and relates both the fun and frustration of communicating with the Thai people.
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First published January 1, 1965
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June 4, 2009
I read this book while visiting Thailand for the first time in 1994. There’s something exotic about reading about a foreign country while traveling in the country, even though this was written some thirty years before, in 1965, and from the POV of an expat. Mai Pen Rai really does mean “never mind” or “no problem” and those words were my first attempt to speak the language.
Since then, and several trips later, I have developed a working knowledge of the language, and I have a far greater understanding of the culture. But this book was my introduction, and I give credit to Carol Hollinger for that – and for an entertaining read.
It would still be worthwhile reading to this day, whether you plan to visit Thailand or not, and despite the fact that a lot has changed. As with another uniquely Thai saying, different readers, from different times, will learn valuable things from this book: “Same-same; but different.”
Since then, and several trips later, I have developed a working knowledge of the language, and I have a far greater understanding of the culture. But this book was my introduction, and I give credit to Carol Hollinger for that – and for an entertaining read.
It would still be worthwhile reading to this day, whether you plan to visit Thailand or not, and despite the fact that a lot has changed. As with another uniquely Thai saying, different readers, from different times, will learn valuable things from this book: “Same-same; but different.”
February 7, 2015
"When I was a child my mother, who had a propensity for luring mad people into our home, invited a runaway nun to live with us; it was she who had taught me to tell fortunes."
This statement sets the scene for a chapter that rivals some of the most acclaimed short stories in the highest-rated anthologies. Also, a great way to introduce the book!
What to expect in general: the story of Hollinger's adjustment to life in Thailand, from newly arrived diplomatic wife to university teacher, she does learn Thai (including written!), though at the conversational rather than fluency level. So, we get household and family crises, as expected, but also an inside look at bureaucracy, especially the intense procedure for final exams. Toward the end there are a couple of chapters of travel narrative where she excels - and I'm rather a snob on that score. In terms of style, she reminded me of Betty MacDonald (The Egg and I). Tragic that Hollinger died before this (her only) book went to press as I'd love to have read a lot more of her take on all sorts of topics.
Not quite five stars as at times the material seems dated (late 50s), but well worth the trouble of locating a copy. I saw it on a nearby shelf when looking specifically for a different book at the library ("Hmmmm ... don't think I've read this one").
This statement sets the scene for a chapter that rivals some of the most acclaimed short stories in the highest-rated anthologies. Also, a great way to introduce the book!
What to expect in general: the story of Hollinger's adjustment to life in Thailand, from newly arrived diplomatic wife to university teacher, she does learn Thai (including written!), though at the conversational rather than fluency level. So, we get household and family crises, as expected, but also an inside look at bureaucracy, especially the intense procedure for final exams. Toward the end there are a couple of chapters of travel narrative where she excels - and I'm rather a snob on that score. In terms of style, she reminded me of Betty MacDonald (The Egg and I). Tragic that Hollinger died before this (her only) book went to press as I'd love to have read a lot more of her take on all sorts of topics.
Not quite five stars as at times the material seems dated (late 50s), but well worth the trouble of locating a copy. I saw it on a nearby shelf when looking specifically for a different book at the library ("Hmmmm ... don't think I've read this one").
July 6, 2021
I bought and read this book in 2001 when our family was visiting Thailand, and it captured for me then the intense love I immediately had for that gorgeous, colorful country.
I re-read it this month since I was surprised that I had never reviewed it on Goodreads. I am still delighted with Carol Hollinger's descriptions of Thai culture, but I was surprised to see that some of the writing was dated. Written in the early 1960's, the book is full of references to "the orientals," a term which is now considered politically incorrect, likewise, Hollinger's commentary exposes the rampant, open racism of the times. But that is also some of the beauty of the book as she reveals her own journey of having her "Western" eyes opened to the intelligence and beauty of the Thai people.
"...I am sure that most Americans, myself included, think that the slate Moses toted down from Mount Sinai really contained God's instructions as to the final, acceptable morality of ALL human beings. We are convinced that our idea of good is THE Good and our idea of bad IS THE Bad." pg 83
"The moment in which you briefly shed your nationalism and pause, astounded, to view it from the outside, is soul shattering." pg 74
And although, the above is a pretty good summary of the book's theme, it in no way captures the absolute charm and humor of Hollinger's writing. Hollinger's stories are so full of color and scent that I find myself re-living my own crazy attempt of crossing Thai traffic in order to purchase fresh corn sprinkled with sugar from a grinning street vendor. And I fall in love with Thailand all over again.
I wish I could learn more about Carol Hollinger since I feel like she is my soul sister. She died the same year the book was published, apparently at the age of 46. I often wonder if that accounts for why the ending of the book is not as strong as the beginning. I would have loved to have read more by her or even to have met her, but I will always be grateful that her writings made it into print. Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind will always be on a list of my favorite books.
I re-read it this month since I was surprised that I had never reviewed it on Goodreads. I am still delighted with Carol Hollinger's descriptions of Thai culture, but I was surprised to see that some of the writing was dated. Written in the early 1960's, the book is full of references to "the orientals," a term which is now considered politically incorrect, likewise, Hollinger's commentary exposes the rampant, open racism of the times. But that is also some of the beauty of the book as she reveals her own journey of having her "Western" eyes opened to the intelligence and beauty of the Thai people.
"...I am sure that most Americans, myself included, think that the slate Moses toted down from Mount Sinai really contained God's instructions as to the final, acceptable morality of ALL human beings. We are convinced that our idea of good is THE Good and our idea of bad IS THE Bad." pg 83
"The moment in which you briefly shed your nationalism and pause, astounded, to view it from the outside, is soul shattering." pg 74
And although, the above is a pretty good summary of the book's theme, it in no way captures the absolute charm and humor of Hollinger's writing. Hollinger's stories are so full of color and scent that I find myself re-living my own crazy attempt of crossing Thai traffic in order to purchase fresh corn sprinkled with sugar from a grinning street vendor. And I fall in love with Thailand all over again.
I wish I could learn more about Carol Hollinger since I feel like she is my soul sister. She died the same year the book was published, apparently at the age of 46. I often wonder if that accounts for why the ending of the book is not as strong as the beginning. I would have loved to have read more by her or even to have met her, but I will always be grateful that her writings made it into print. Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind will always be on a list of my favorite books.
July 30, 2025
Reading this book in Thailand was truly something special as it brought Carol's stories. If anyone wants to travel to Thailand or already has I would recommend this read!
July 14, 2021
Loved this book. It’s old and very much of the time in terms of dated language yet it’s also a fantastic time capsule to 1950’s Bangkok. Most surprising is how little things have actually changed.
April 16, 2017
This is one of the funniest memoirs I have ever read (caveat, I am an American living in Thailand, as was the author).
While a great number of things have changed in Thailand in the 60 years since this was written, a surprising number have not. Hollinger manages to perfectly capture the Americans' befuddlement in the face of the seemingly bizarre and incomprehensible happenings of daily life here (incomprehensible to the Americans, Thais know what is going on). While there are some generalizations, they are as often turned on the arrogant American as much as the "inscrutable" Thai, and she makes it very clear that when she calls Thais inscrutable she is commenting on Americans' inability/unwillingness to understand and the distance between our cultures. I thought her writing was not racist (especially as we're talking about 1957-8), although the terms of the time are obviously used (Oriental, Mongolian for Asian), and that she had a rare ability to see people as individuals.
Someone not living here might think she exaggerated for comedic effect but I actually doubt that was the case, given my own experiences with bureaucracy, health care and the difference between Americans' and Thais' sense of time. Although for the most part she gleefully pokes fun at her own reactions to culture clash, there are some poignant moments, such as when she attempts to explain why American democracy is superior to Thai democracy at the same time as the Little Rock nine, and the Thai students conclude "We understand. Your constitution guarantees nothing...the same as the Thai constitution." She turns her self-observations on her own views of democracy. No more can I toot the horn of American democracy 60 years later, and I face similar conversations today about Trump.
It's a shame that she died so young. I would have read anything else she wrote and I would have loved to hear about how she integrated her experiences when she moved back to the States.
While a great number of things have changed in Thailand in the 60 years since this was written, a surprising number have not. Hollinger manages to perfectly capture the Americans' befuddlement in the face of the seemingly bizarre and incomprehensible happenings of daily life here (incomprehensible to the Americans, Thais know what is going on). While there are some generalizations, they are as often turned on the arrogant American as much as the "inscrutable" Thai, and she makes it very clear that when she calls Thais inscrutable she is commenting on Americans' inability/unwillingness to understand and the distance between our cultures. I thought her writing was not racist (especially as we're talking about 1957-8), although the terms of the time are obviously used (Oriental, Mongolian for Asian), and that she had a rare ability to see people as individuals.
Someone not living here might think she exaggerated for comedic effect but I actually doubt that was the case, given my own experiences with bureaucracy, health care and the difference between Americans' and Thais' sense of time. Although for the most part she gleefully pokes fun at her own reactions to culture clash, there are some poignant moments, such as when she attempts to explain why American democracy is superior to Thai democracy at the same time as the Little Rock nine, and the Thai students conclude "We understand. Your constitution guarantees nothing...the same as the Thai constitution." She turns her self-observations on her own views of democracy. No more can I toot the horn of American democracy 60 years later, and I face similar conversations today about Trump.
It's a shame that she died so young. I would have read anything else she wrote and I would have loved to hear about how she integrated her experiences when she moved back to the States.
October 4, 2025
A loving tribute from an American woman to her experiences in the beautiful county of Thailand !! The author’s insight into this beautiful culture enriched her worldview as she, as a teacher, learned so much from her students. I lived in Thailand in 1965-66 and taught also. This book was published in 1965, so she was there some years before me.
Elderly folks Chewing beetle-nut, toddlers naked or wearing only shirts, food carts pushed by old men, the copious variety of colorful fruits, the Klongs full of boats, the floating market, were just some of the exotic everyday occurrences I saw as well. “
Never mind”was a constant mention in ordinary Thai conversation, resulting in an accepting, laidback way of life.
Quote: “An underdeveloped nation does not mean undeveloped citizens: they are as developed as modern people are. Thailand is different, not lower or less. The Thai is as honest in their way as we are….In America, we favor a warmhearted person: in Thailand a cool heart is favored ….to keep your heart free of entagling and destructive emotions of both joy and sorrow… that may make one act from greed instead of pure intent.”
Honor and dignity ….can be found anywhere!!
Elderly folks Chewing beetle-nut, toddlers naked or wearing only shirts, food carts pushed by old men, the copious variety of colorful fruits, the Klongs full of boats, the floating market, were just some of the exotic everyday occurrences I saw as well. “
Never mind”was a constant mention in ordinary Thai conversation, resulting in an accepting, laidback way of life.
Quote: “An underdeveloped nation does not mean undeveloped citizens: they are as developed as modern people are. Thailand is different, not lower or less. The Thai is as honest in their way as we are….In America, we favor a warmhearted person: in Thailand a cool heart is favored ….to keep your heart free of entagling and destructive emotions of both joy and sorrow… that may make one act from greed instead of pure intent.”
Honor and dignity ….can be found anywhere!!
August 26, 2016
Fim um pouco a seco, desapontante, mas toda uma história de amor pela Tailândia que me fez sentir que, de facto, o tempo passa mas esta terra continua a encantar os ocidentais. Adorei o facto de a autora também se ter tornado professora por acaso numa das melhores universidade de Bangkok/do país (tal como eu, que estou só à espera de confirmação). Os cenários que são descritos já se encontram obsoletos em grande parte, a paisagem de Bangkok tem-se alterado imenso nos últimos anos, mas o carácter humilde, bondoso e relaxado dos tailandeses permanece algo que os distingue de qualquer povo de que eu ou a Carol Hollinger tenhamos conhecimento. Destaco a caracterização dos alunos e dos restantes "expatriados" pseudo-coisos, que traçam uma comparação hilariante. Uma vez que muitos dos expatriados contemporâneos na Tailândia são professores de Inglês, a visão da autora acerca desta sociedade continua actual, desde que lida com cuidado e bom senso. Um óptimo guia para recém-chegados à Terra dos Sorrisos! Percebo por que é que Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind é visto por muitos como a bíblia dos estrangeiros na Tailândia.
June 20, 2012
What would happen to an American housewife to be out in her comfortable home with her husband and daughter into an unknown civilization (to them)? Carol's book is about that. Setting foot in Thailand and lived for three years, Carol gathered a lot of experiences which her fellow Americans might not be that inclined to experience.
What makes me keep reading the book is its casual and natural style. There is a natural humor from her story telling that it is impossible for me not to laugh. I learned Thai culture is same as ours (Filipinos). The filth, the naked young souls on the streets, and the Mai Pen Rai.
What makes me keep reading the book is its casual and natural style. There is a natural humor from her story telling that it is impossible for me not to laugh. I learned Thai culture is same as ours (Filipinos). The filth, the naked young souls on the streets, and the Mai Pen Rai.
March 4, 2013
If you've ever been to Thailand or ever contemplated going to Thailand, then this book is a must read. It is insightful, witty and explains the culture of "never mind" like no other. I read this book while also living and teaching in Thailand and found myself laughing in agreement with so many of the experiences. I will treasure this book always along with my memories of this very special place.
November 21, 2014
Hollinger is witty, and her attitude as written makes this a lively read. Though her observations are somewhat dated and not what the PC experience is designed to be, her insights into the minds and characters of others are timeless. Very fun.
September 18, 2015
I was surprised to see that I could still relate to quite a few things she said even though the books was written so many years ago. Definitely interesting!
Read again September 2015
Read again September 2015
February 2, 2009
So funny, so witty, so heartwarming, so helpful. There is a reason this is a must-read for the westerner in Thailand.
January 27, 2020
Mai Pen Rai… Never Mind… It’s okay… It’s alright…
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay… the Guide repeated this phrase many times during the Island-hopping trip that and I thought it’s just his way of saying things in an alien language (English) to communicate with people from multiple nationalities, not comfortable even with the basic English language.
Everyone that we came in contact with, be the cab drivers, tour facilitators, shop managers, restaurant managers – all the Thai people were extremely polite, welcoming, always smiling, it was always a pleasure to interact with them. It’s easy to understand why Thailand is called the Land of Smiles. The people are so happy, all the time and their culture is so fascinating. There seems to be an inherent belief among the Thai people that there is no point in getting stressed over small things. And they kind of treat everything as a small thing...
And then I came across the book ‘Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind’ by Carol Hollinger that I realize the meaning of it. It took multiple interactions with Thai people and even more contemplation to understanding the deeper meaning of the phrase from the Thai perspective…
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay… the Guide repeated this phrase many times during the Island-hopping trip that and I thought it’s just his way of saying things in an alien language (English) to communicate with people from multiple nationalities, not comfortable even with the basic English language.
Everyone that we came in contact with, be the cab drivers, tour facilitators, shop managers, restaurant managers – all the Thai people were extremely polite, welcoming, always smiling, it was always a pleasure to interact with them. It’s easy to understand why Thailand is called the Land of Smiles. The people are so happy, all the time and their culture is so fascinating. There seems to be an inherent belief among the Thai people that there is no point in getting stressed over small things. And they kind of treat everything as a small thing...
And then I came across the book ‘Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind’ by Carol Hollinger that I realize the meaning of it. It took multiple interactions with Thai people and even more contemplation to understanding the deeper meaning of the phrase from the Thai perspective…
April 24, 2018
This book is to be enjoyed only by people already living in Thailand. And although it has happened more than 50 years ago it is still so accurate to the reality of West-East culture shock that it baffled me. Carol was special, the way she embodied Mai Pen Rai and loved the country she lived in despite all the differences and all recommendations is an inspiration. Even today with all the internet and traveling we still feel there is a wall dividing the extreme Occident from the extreme Orient, and one can't help but fall in love for both. Highly recommended the read of this book which was a gift from another western that also loved her life in Thailand.
September 23, 2022
I bought this book at a shop in Chiang Mai, wanting to fall into the literary world of Thailand as I traveled around the country. While it’s definitely outdated, the author’s observations are impressively nuanced and exciting. She is vulnerable, hilarious, and a joy to read. While much about the country has changed since the 1960s, this robust account of a farang’s time in Thailand is relevant as ever.
January 11, 2022
Essential reading for anyone who loves Bangkok; written by the wife of a US Foreign Service diplomat in the 1960s. She taught at Chulalongkorn and was befriended by a group of privileged Thai women (alumna of Wattana Academy), and she writes with wit and humor about the cynical British expats she taught with as well as her Thai friends.
October 21, 2021
A little dated, but fascinating none the less. Interesting to see from the eyes of someone learning about a new culture. This author did love the world she entered which gave the book a wonderful atmosphere. I will share this with my Mama. I'm sure she will enjoy it.
October 2, 2022
Hilarious and insightful! She beautifully captures Thailand and her relationship to the country as a woman, mother and foreign service officer wife. This Thailand is mostly gone, so it has a tinge of bittersweet nostalgia for me.
December 29, 2022
An excellent book of short stories from the perspective of a foreigner in Thailand. She treats the local culture with respect and makes fun of herself and her learning process more. Good for those working in Thailand and/or Laos and those teaching in universities.
August 16, 2019
I enjoyed reading this book for its humor and insight and it rang true to my experiences in Thailand.
April 8, 2012
Yes, this book is somewhat dated, as the author was in Thailand around 1958.
However there are so many things about Thailand that still hold true and shine through.
And even more so, as a fellow American expat, white female teacher.
I about died reading the chapter on exam time - Yes, YES! Someone else knows!
My Thai exams proved slightly different at the middle/high school level, but in so many ways the same (or worse).
This book conveys so much of what I want to explain to people back home.
No, not the servants. Technology has advanced, many khlongs have been paved and I'm not a member of the elite expat social class.
Political conditions and the spread of the English language have changed.
But still, so much of this memoir captures what life in Thailand is like.
I highly recommend it. This may be a book I have to keep.
However there are so many things about Thailand that still hold true and shine through.
And even more so, as a fellow American expat, white female teacher.
I about died reading the chapter on exam time - Yes, YES! Someone else knows!
My Thai exams proved slightly different at the middle/high school level, but in so many ways the same (or worse).
This book conveys so much of what I want to explain to people back home.
No, not the servants. Technology has advanced, many khlongs have been paved and I'm not a member of the elite expat social class.
Political conditions and the spread of the English language have changed.
But still, so much of this memoir captures what life in Thailand is like.
I highly recommend it. This may be a book I have to keep.
April 26, 2011
Well this was certainly an interesting read. It was published in 1965 - and post-her time in Thailand, so there's no clear indication of when that was, but I would guess maybe mid-to-late 1950s? She's there because her husband has some job with the American Embassy in Bangkok, and she talks about their life, adjusting to the culture, etc. She actually, not being able to take the society luncheons of the embassy wives, gets a job teaching at a University, and those stories are pretty funny. She also talks in this vaguely racist / condescending - it's the mid-1960s way. If you are planning on spending time in Bangkok, especially teaching English, I might recommend it, otherwise I would skip it.
December 28, 2014
Looking at the cover of Mai Pen Rai, I was expecting some light reading. The smiling children in the boat and the subtitle: An american Housewife's Honest Love Affair with the Irrespressible People of Thailand really don't do this book justice. I was surprised at how much depth she packed into her anecdotes about the Thai people and expatriates. Her chapter on the British hits the nail on the head. At the end she admits how much she couldn't fathom about the Thai or any other group outside of her own.
Hollinger ended up as a displaced housewife (later college instructor) because her husband was sent to Thailand in the early sixties to work for the U.S. Foreign Service. I found myself wondering exactly how close his work was to the situation in Viet Nam.
Hollinger ended up as a displaced housewife (later college instructor) because her husband was sent to Thailand in the early sixties to work for the U.S. Foreign Service. I found myself wondering exactly how close his work was to the situation in Viet Nam.
May 13, 2016
This book is very outdated now, having been written in 1965. However, I think it would still be useful and helpful for anyone traveling to Thailand.
I am not an overseas traveler, but my daughter lived in Thailand for 3 1/2 years. My other daughter ( her sister) went to visit her there and read this book in preparation for her trip. I didn't feel it was particularly well written, and there were many times the author wrote about certain things of which I had no knowledge, and the author offered no explanation or clue. But I did enjoy reading about the Thai people / culture, her experiences in dealing with the language and her coworkers and students at the Thai university.
Most of all, she made me laugh often and learn the true meaning of
"Mai pen rai" !
I am not an overseas traveler, but my daughter lived in Thailand for 3 1/2 years. My other daughter ( her sister) went to visit her there and read this book in preparation for her trip. I didn't feel it was particularly well written, and there were many times the author wrote about certain things of which I had no knowledge, and the author offered no explanation or clue. But I did enjoy reading about the Thai people / culture, her experiences in dealing with the language and her coworkers and students at the Thai university.
Most of all, she made me laugh often and learn the true meaning of
"Mai pen rai" !
January 6, 2016
My father recommended I read this book before I left for Thailand, and I'm so glad I took his advice. Though set back a few decades, I find the author's experience still resonates with a modern day expat's journey settling into the "mai pen rai" paradigm here--especially as a teacher. The book is dense with her insights about culture, both western and eastern. At the same time, her writing is surprisingly entertaining! Highly recommend to anyone who is looking to learn more about Thai culture, be challenged, and/or have a good laugh.
September 20, 2007
Having been to Thailand and also falling in love with the Thai people, I loved reading about this woman's season in Thailand. I grabbed every little bit and tried to wear the experiences she had, as my own.
May 14, 2011
Tales of an English as a foreign language teacher in Thailand. Rings true according to my experience of living there. Described Thai's writing English as putting all the words for sentence into a Yatzee shaker and then dumping them out in an inscrutable order.
Read
October 20, 2011Even though this book was originally written in the 50s I swear it was the same in 2003 when I went to Thailand. I should have read this before I go. I'm not sure I'll get the Mai Pen Rai philosophy but its a goal.
Want to read
November 7, 2014I was really excited to find a copy of this book before we went to Thailand, it's not in print anymore. But hard as I try, I can't get into it. I keep trying to read just one more chapter, but it's not happening. Putting it aside to try again in the future.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews