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201 pages, Hardcover
First published June 1, 1978
Buying and having things seemed like a way of knowing who one was. One was an aggregate of interests and desires. People received energy and solace from wanting things and getting them.
Children were like drunkards really, determined to talk at great length and with great incoherence. Pearl more or less understood them in that regard.A failed escape followed by a return to an island crawling with semi-feral children and her husband's weirdo family, dominated by her brother-in-law Thomas: an opaque, controlling polymath. A return to murky, cryptic family history distant from her own. A return to the large old house inhabited by a ghost. Or is it. Pearl hallucinates. Or does she. Is it the drink or something more.
She had tried so earnestly once to be sane. But sanity, it was like holding on to a balloon, a balloon of the world, fragile and full of petty secrets and desires. She would let it go. It was easy to let it go.She lives on the island for so long, never certain of her place. Just playing a role. Just existing, filling space, serving as a figurehead for the children to direct their attention toward. She has nowhere else to go and no one else to be with.
This house was her home. It seemed improbable even after all these years. But it was the only one she had unless she could consider her body her home, a disheartening thought—this shabby tower of bones and water in which she more or less permanently resides, a lonely place and yet one always occupied to say nothing of visited continuously, shared with guests and occupied by travelers, full of tumult and disturbance and greed and sharing. Some visitors lingering only briefly, others staying a long, long time; one guest being fantastic, another quite dull. Prudes and incontinents, mommies and murderers, philosophers and mice. The body the home. One could entertain almost any notion there. Poor dump.And what are the children up to. Led by her son, who scares her a bit in his strangeness. Who walks out of the evening shadows and frightens her. The nighttime when she feels the fear the strongest.
Night runs with its children, Sleep and Death, with its twins, the true dream and the false one.Were they really hallucinations from the drink, after all. The story hovers on the fringes of magical realism. Pearl exists in the liminal space between drink world, dream world, and 'real' world. Or does she even exist at all.
Once she had thought that she was crazy and that she might get well. She thought that she had to be herself. But there was no self. There were just the dreams she dreamed, the dreams that prepared her for her waking life.
Oh to bring back the days when stars spoke at the mouths of caves.
To go back to those times when one could not know, for the darkness, in what ways they had lost their former selves …
He filled her glass by half. She curled her fingers around it but did not drink.
"I have never understood," she said, "how it happened anyway. Everyone acts as though they know, but I don't know." More people fucked with the Devil than they did with the Lord. Wasn't that why nuns covered up their ears? But that wasn't the answer. "Do you know?" she demanded.
"Yes," he laughed.
"There were animals," Pearl said. "And then there were subhumans and animals and then there was that incredible change, that catastrophe, and then there were human beings."
"A random phenomenon occurring when a vital urge was aroused."
"But it didn't evolve," Pearl said. "It just happened. There wasn't time for it to evolve. There never would be enough time."
"A species under great pressure or in great need producing acausal changes in its material form."
"You don't know," Pearl sighed.