Yes, I see the irony in reviewing this book on Goodreads. This comes from my notes app where I jotted while reading. I didn't know another way to control the thoughts. And I'm sick of thinking about this dumb book so let's geux:
Chapter 1 (gossip): This chapter contained no new information to me. OK.
Chapter 2 (being a critic?/Goodreads): She is stuffy, and seemingly annoyed to be here. Ready to defend the idea of the critic, its role, its job or whatever, but also...again, annoyed that she even has to do this. Fun! Are these essays or are they criticism? They're criticism. LO hashes out previous things that happened to people, half I already knew, half I didn't. Made me annoyed. Why?? am I here. I also…. thought it was supposed to be funny…? That's what everyone said!!!
I am also a writer and a reader, and I can decipher the fact that “Goodreads is for readers” means it's not for writers. Sometimes words and sentences mean what they say.
3: Does anyone actually care that she lives in Berlin?
4 (autofiction): OK so, did she just decide six topics that she needed to have a permanent hot take on and write them down (mostly citing others’ ideas) and say: “this is it. This is my book.” These essays are ...barely good Internet reading for a slow work day. How did she write “an essay” on autofiction and not read Bret Easton Ellis’ The Shards?? No one cares about Sally Rooney this much unless your “argument” on defining something (wait, what?) hinges on it. LO tells us something wild & crazy happened to her (!!) and goes on to cite Lolita and never mention the crazy thing. Fun. And later, she cites the kidney?? essay from The NYT Mag (which I admittedly didn't read; I work a shift job, people, and I don't always have time). (Also “In the US we have three stages of grief.” LO—you don't get to live in Berlin and make blanket statements about living in America anymore. You don't get to do both.) And because she's still not done, she's citing Don Juan which dates back to 1824: all ripe material for the modern Internet-obsessed critic that knows she's better than us. Duh! All of these examples feel tired and nothing here felt revelatory. I genuinely believed she would have something to say about autofiction! I wanted to read it. She's just pointing out examples of it and talking about her book (which I found overwritten and obnoxious) and smirking. Pulling a face. A real Jon Stewart in the face of fascism move.
5 (vulnerability): Did someone once call LO vulnerable? What the fuck does “I'm against the tyranny of vulnerability in emotional life” mean??? I expected more than Freud (Freud??) quotes and uhhhh Parks & Rec as citations. LO says the gender of your boss is irrelevant? Sure. Citation? Lydia Tar! Sounds good to me. (She then takes pages re-telling us what Tar is about and what one critic (1) (Richard Brody) thought of it.) (For all the critics and Critic Lyfe she talks about, not many critics are mentioned.) None of this reads as an argument. LO is presenting information clearly from a smattering of sources. Actually, I'm not really sure what I'm reading or if I've learned a single thing.
6 (anxiety): I, too, have anxiety. But I'm brave (is that the word???) enough to have gone to therapy regularly for eight years and try medication for more years, come out the other side, and no longer get anxiety rashes, or bleeding gums, or sties in my eye. I can control my triggers, know how to deal with panic attacks, and so on. I was sick of feeling sick so I dealt with my shit. Going to jaw yoga once, and putting off any and all doctors visit’s for whatever reasons… isn't how dealing with crippling anxiety works. IDK, I've had a chronic illness since I was 17 (rheumatoid arthritis) so not going to a doctor is not a luxury I've ever been able to afford. LO seems smarter than straight up ignoring the problem. And because she lives in Berlin (have you heard? She lives in Berlin!) where there’s reasonable health insurance that she mentions constantly, you’d think she’d take advantage of this. But the thing with therapy is, you have to want to go. She is too busy? Important? Afraid of what she'll find? Doesn't want to take the time? Or she wants to suffer for the copy? I don't know about any of this. Anxiety crippled my actual life until I dealt with my shit. LO's physical symptoms of anxiety sound oppressive and I don't understand why she is letting it happen.
This is the only “essay” in the book. There's no plot, because LO “finds the concept of plot oppressive” (sometimes--same!! I'm a big David Lynch fan!! Who gives a shit about plot--amirite?!) but sometimes a story illustrated by personal details can be charming, OR: round out a piece of writing. Why is LO desperate to conceal herself?
I wrote down ONE note from this entire book, and it is credited to “they” as in, “fear, they say, has an object, and anxiety seeks one.” This feels real. I wish I knew who said it. I'm always looking for bits on fear, on rage, and on anxiety because that is me. I have all that in me too, LO. I wish I’d known who said this. Some things in NJ are painstakingly quoted, others are generalized, on an annoying scale. What's the deal with this?
Stray thoughts:
LO suffers from readers being unable to know nothing about her before reading. This sucks, and is unfair. It leads me to think that the only people seeking out her book are people who know her and Her Whole Deal. Thus she truly has control over the narrative (until reviews pan her, the one in the Washington Post is quite embarrassing; but the NYT made up for it). If there is someone out there with no concept of LO and Her Deal, please point me in their direction. I do want to know what they think but everyone writing about her online leads with the preconceived notions we have about her--fun!
I did not read any reviews of this book because I’ve been looking forward to reading it since I saw her post the Publishers Marketplace screenshot of the book deal (yes). I also didn't read any of the pre-publication serializations. I wanted to save it for the real thing. So you could say I was excited enough to have my husband pre-order NJ for X-mas.
People forget LO’s original uhhhh fame was from being ruthless to Roxane Gay, of all people, on Book Slut. THAT piece of writing is VERY academic, and a fucking CHORE to read. People forget about it because that part of the Internet has been wiped. And then the piece about Trick Mirror that LOL crashed The Guardian. (That book was OK!!! They weren't all throwaways, and JT’s writing is more compelling and dare I say…smarter. Or... is more interesting to read) so.. is LO being hired because she delivers clicks? She does! I’ll click!! (Ugh.) Or because we genuinely want to know what she has to say. The line for me is getting fuzzy, and I'm annoyed. I thought she was better than that.
LO’s subjects have always been more famous than her, thus pulling her in to a kind of fame (virility) and …has it been worth it? So far...with NJ...not yet. (Is this OK though? Like, that's what a critic is for? IDK! I'm asking! Should someone get famous for their pans of other peoples' work? I live my life in the music and music journalism world and that's not really how it works there. Total sidebar: I take the utmost joy in knowing she knows nothing about music. (Her confession.) Who is this woman?? And why isn't she snobby about something meaningless, like me, like coffee?)
I have an MFA in nonfiction writing. If LO gets to constantly remind people she “is the way she is” ("I had access! Hmmph!") because she went to an ivy league school (JUST say it. Say Yale!!!!), I get to say I have an MFA in NF from Sarah Lawrence. I've been assigned essays, memoir, nonfiction, poetry, reporting, etc, and have read the joyless, draft-trash of my peers. My second workshop professor won the Pulitzer for Poetry (he refused to teach poetry and only teaches NF) during that semester, and he changed my world view many times over. These essays in NJ are... critical pieces that kiiiinda swing personal. (Except for My Anxiety, which, again, reads as a personal essay a workshop would have a lot of great feedback on.) I have also written three drafts of a memoir and truly believe: just because you can write a book, it doesn't mean it should be a book. You can tell she’s never been in a workshop, and probably thinks “I don't have time for that.” I was in a workshop with a classmate that got a book deal during the program. She would skip class and blow off any suggestions from our Pulitzer Professor because ...she knows better! She has a book deal! Duh! LOL. But...being published doesn't mean you have nothing else left to learn about writing, editing, and storytelling. Again, the piece on her anxiety is as close as we get to an essay in all of NJ, but even there, everything is surface level.
My friend w a PhD in philosophy & English literature told me “I also wonder if she's really skilled in one area (analyzing literature) and thought that meant she was good at analyzing anything?” I think, hmmm. IDK. I have never taken a literature class. (LOL.) Why does LO cite something specifically, like a 2013 article, and then generalize about what “niche queer spaces” do/believe? (This is just one of the examples of her making broad general statements with...not a whole lot more than a wink.) Is she a part of these spaces? How can she claim this? Lots of examples from LOL Slate dot com and the Internet and old poetry and literature and but then other more important stuff: glossed over. This isn't boring. It just reads as incorrect. Tell me where! If you're going to make this book and be a critic, cite your shit. Don't just say "they."
Can LO take a joke?
But really my burning question is: has LO done LSD? (That and—has she read Carl Wilson’s Let’s Talk About Love? (And The Shards??)) I see those references to MDMA (she lives in Berlin, baby! They only have club drugs in Europe apparently) and that she doesn't like weed (boring). LO is edgy, you guys.
I genuinely thought this book was supposed to be funny. That's what everyone said!!!! Ugh. Thank god it's over.