His

Short Leashes #1

by Daniel May

Lucas Russo was never a child. He was raised like a soldier, trained like a dog to hunt down his master’s enemies.

Shane Case was barely a man. Unraveled by grief, he kidnapped two children to follow in his footsteps, to shape in his image and continue his mission of vengeance.

Lucas never forgave Shane, because forgiveness is something reserved for the living. So is hate. With Shane gone, all Lucas has left are hot, guilty memories he denies to himself as he continues the hunt alongside his brother. Many things in Lucas died with Shane, but desire was not one of them.

But Shane is not dead.

Now Lucas hunts his old warden, seeking Shane’s ghost in both dreams and waking world, haunted by memories of his fists, his mouth, his cruelty. And more than haunted, Lucas is hungry — hungry for answers. For a reckoning. Hungry for the love of the man who stole his childhood.

His is part one of a dark, age gap MM romance.

Genres: M M Romance, Dark, Dark Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Paranormal, LGBT

262 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 14, 2023

About the author

Daniel May writes MM romance and erotica with a focus on dark contemporary, kink, and BDSM. Originally a lover of sci-fi and fantasy, he turned his sights on the erotic as a joke that went over surprisingly well.

Completed series: The Taste of Ink (rereleased as A Fresh Taste of Ink trilogy)
Ongoing series: Hanged Men

Facebook group, the Daniel May Maelstrom:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/23035...

Sign up for the newsletter at danielmayauthor.com to receive free bonus content, news, and behind-the-scenes sneak peeks at upcoming works.-

Reviews

[Lilly [Hiatus due to School]]

DNF @30%

I was looking forward to this story but sadly it's not for me. A case of it's me and not the book. The writing style did not work for me personally and I could not get into the plot at all. I am pretty sure fans of Daniel May will enjoy it but sadly it was a miss for me.

[Kathleen in Oslo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daniel May surprise-drops a new book, part 1 in a dark romance duology?? Happy (almost) birthday to ME!!!!

This was great! Unreliable narrator -- we are in Lucas's POV the whole time, and suffice to say that Lucas is going through some things all the things; traumatic backstory; f*cked up and taboo relationship dynamics; age-gap; mutual obsession and co-dependence; "I show my love through actions, not words"; complicated sibling relationship (which is NOT the taboo relationship btw -- the complicated-ness stems from Lucas's role as protector and brunt-bearer while Nick has a somewhat easier go of it, including a relatively normal school and college experience -- something that Lucas is both proud of and low-key resents); and a propulsive writing style that occasionally shades purple, but in a deliberate way. It's got the whole "I repress, and yet I feel" thing going on, which: yum.

This is hard to rate, because it's kind of all prologue. Insofar as there is a plot, it follows the aimless-yet-obsessive vigilantism that Lucas and Nick pursue almost out of habit; but really, this volume is mostly concerned with situating us in the characters and their histories. We are thrown straight into this world -- essentially the same as ours but with a hint of paranormal; it is the Hanged Men universe, but the duology is standalone -- having to figure out what Lucas and Nick are doing and what of Lucas's narrative is real (from memory) or fake (from fantasy). As we go along, we piece together details of the boys' upbringing with Shane and, most crucially, Lucas's relationship with him (which turns sexual when Lucas is 19).

Obviously the Lucas-Shane relationship is the crux of the story, and I thought this was really well done. Lucas and Shane are not biologically related, and May notes in the front material that Shane is more a drill sergeant than a father figure to the boys. Which, okay -- but he was still the only parental figure the boys had and, in that respect, the relationship is obviously taboo if not technically incestuous. Even three years after Shane's death (or, "death"), Lucas is still working through his feelings for Shane, where love and shame and hate and desire and devotion and ambivalence and grief and Lucas's ingrained, reflexive need for Shane's approval all compete with each other. This is torrid stuff, made all the more so by the fact that Lucas is dealing with it all on his own: we suspect that Nick suspects the truth of Lucas and Shane's relationship, but it -- and Shane in general -- is not openly discussed between them.

The main problem with book 1 is that it ended right when we were getting to the good stuff: Lucas and Shane together again on-page. The ending primes the story to move forward, rather than the mostly backwards-looking slant of this installment. Needless to say, I am invested. But as noted above, this is why it's so hard to rate. While this worked for me on its own terms, His is so clearly part of a larger work that it will rise or fall on the basis of how things play out in book 2.

As always, Daniel May is exemplary in providing both a shorter and longer (very detailed) list of potential triggers, the longer version laying out the relationship dynamics between Lucas and Shane. Readers of dark romance who prefer to go in blind can easily skip the front material; but as someone who rarely dips her toes in the dark romance pool, I hugely appreciate May's forthrightness with his readers. It makes me feel . . . cared for, if that makes sense. Like we're in this dark journey together. I only wish more authors and publishers would follow May's example, as it really is shocking how much potentially triggering stuff gets thrown out into the world with nary a CW (especially in books that are marketed as romcoms, but that's a whole different rant).

Bring on book 2!!

I got an ARC from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my honest review.

[Shonee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I honestly don't even know wtf I just read.

[ancientreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy smokes.

I'd put this on the shelf closer to Last Man Standing than to May's non-Augustus-Roth books, though there seem to be some Saturday horses hanging around and also a general Hanged Men flavor (plus, see the author's note at the end).

Daniel May is terrific at writing obsessive, cruel, violent love, which is what we have here: Lucas Russo has lost Shane Case, the man who raised him, trained him, tended him, hurt him, owned him, and loved him, and he's pretty nearly eviscerated by longing and grief. Lucas and his younger brother, Nick (who kind of got Shane Case Lite) are trying to carry on Shane's mission -- what that is, is unclear, though it has something to do with missing children and involves a faceless entity called Panoptes. They are something like knights-errant perhaps: nomadic, violent in the service of ... well, I'm not sure what. Something worthy, anyhow.

As usual with May there are moments of surprising humor (Lucas in the pot dispensary, thoughtfully contemplating weed-themed socks) and dry-as-bone wit (those fake IDs), but overall the mood here is set by Lucas's howling grief. DM went a bit off the rails with the second Hanged Men book, I thought -- the writing struck me as overwrought -- so I'm happy to find that though the emotional pitch here (grief, grief, grief) is similar, the prose is a lot more restrained & thus more effective.

Crucial non-spoiler: this ends on maybe not quite a cliffhanger but certainly a point at which one might feel some hope but where nothing whatsoever is resolved. And -- consider this fair warning -- I found I couldn't turn to anything light immediately after reading this. I'm not sure I have a book hangover, exactly, but for sure a solid dose of lingering uneasiness.

4.5 stars rounded up, and thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the ARC!

[Saimi Vasquez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oscuro, diferente, confuso

Lucas y su hermano Nick atraviesan USA investigando la desaparición de algunos jóvenes. Muchos de ellos sin motivo para huir. Pero en su búsqueda Lucas recuerda su pasado junto con su padre adoptivo, quien les enseño todo lo que saben y falleció hace unos pocos años. La melancolía tiene a Lucas más desorientado que nunca, y no solo por extrañar a su "padre", sino por todo lo que realmente era para él. Pero podrán los hermanos solucionar el misterio de las desapariciones? Podrá Lucas superar la muerte de su padre?

Este es un libro de dark-romance, medio incestuoso, medio BDSM. Parecería fantasía, pero por otro lado. no lo parece. Si quitamos de la ecuación toda la instropeccion del prota, quedamos con un universo más definido, una relación mal enfocada y una pareja que no lo parece.
En fin, tengo intención de leer el siguiente libro de esta saga, y solo espero que aclare todas las dudas que creo este libro.

[Caia · Rating 5 out of 5]

adventurous challenging dark tense
Plot- or character-driven? A mix
4.5

This was a great start into a thrilling suspense, I was hooked and totally invested in Nick (younger MC) who we follow over the span of this book.


The flashbacks which give more insight in the relationship with Shane, contain as mentioned a lot of dark content and were sometimes pretty intense.

At this point I feel a ton of toxicity and am curious how everything will turn out in book 2!

The mystery/thriller plot is interesting and I‘m ready to get to all the promised conclusions in book2 as well.

Third person
Single pov
Dark dark dark
Urban Fantasy (elements/same universe as blood sports)
20yr Age Gap

Explicit TW written by author in foreword
Short TW:
TW for past Child abuse (physical; emotional) - allusion to CSA&child trafficking (not between MCs) - casual drug use (marijuana) - underage drinking and drug abuse (flashback/reference) - gore - violence

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Debated on a 3 or a 4. It’s well-written and evokes a mood, but it moves real slow in the start. I would’ve liked the action to move quicker.

“What did they look like next to each other? Warden and prisoner? Father and son? God and supplicant?”

I stayed engaged with the writing and the sense of mystery about what Lucas was investigating and what Shane was to him, but I would’ve liked the see the first half get trimmed quite a bit to move things along. It did feel like a long prologue in some senses with the pacing and set up element.

After reading it I saw it was set in the same world as his Hanged Man series, which is on my list to read, so I’m curious if I would’ve experienced the slow pace differently if I had that background or not.
Definitely interested in the sequel and in checking out this other series.

[Cindaren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daniel May's stuff is never run of the mill and this is no different. Interesting and mysterious, this story unfolds in bursts that each grab you so you can't look away. Looking forward to the conclusion!

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25+ stars

This was a slow release of info story. It was well done because I started with one way of thinking and it changed into something hot. I’m left with lots of questions so I’m glad there is more to come and I’d appreciate hearing Shane’s perspective.

[Nichole · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first Daniel May story and I am completely enthralled. This is a bit of a dark telling about two boys and their 'dad'. This story is from Lucas' point of view who tells us all his feelings - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yet we also get some suspense in the world that is being built around him and his brother. Then there is Shane. Shane through Lucas' eyes is troubled yet strong. And note this is a duet. We are left with not necessarily a cliffhanger but a large desire for more. I am going to be anxiously awaiting the conclusion of this story.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Me in the first 20% of this book:



Also me in the last 20% of it:

[__maii · Rating 2 out of 5]

wtf.

[LifeReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really difficult book for me to review as part of me loved it and part of me had a few little issues.
What I enjoyed is that dark, murky road Lucas goes down with trying to understand and explain his feelings for Shane, which Daniel has really nailed with the vibes. I really did feel the confusion and emotion when we were in Lucas’ head, and you kind of get lost in it with him.

However, the writing style is very different and I struggled with it at times. It is a lot of inner dialogue and at points it did feel repetitive when Lucas is talking about the past with Shane.

The last 2 chapters certainly picked up the pace and intensity of the story, and I’m interested to see where we go in Book 2.

[Allyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s really hard to review His without knowing the rest of the story. The writing is interesting, and the story kept my attention, but there isn’t a lot of action. It’s primarily Lucas reflecting on his past with Shane. It helps me understand Lucas’s motivations and how they came to be together, but nothing really happens until the last part of the book. It has a ton of potential, and I definitely want to read part two ASAP.

[Callie Kajj · Rating 5 out of 5]

I keep thinking about it

[Leigh Kramer]

CW: intimate partner violence

A dark paranormal story from Daniel May that kept me invested despite my confusion about what was actually happening. It’s a stretch to call this installment a romance but it’s part of a dark romance duology and Shane is palpably present, even if he’s not on page for the majority of the book.

It’s an exploration of grief and making sense of an abusive relationship when your abuser is dead. Lucas both loves and hates Shane. Shane died three years ago and Lucas and his brother Nick have carried on his secretive mission. Shane is always in his head, no matter that he’s no longer there. Shane kidnapped the boys when Lucas was six—their mother neglected them but it’s not clear why Shane, their neighbor, felt the need to interfere to that degree. And then he began training them for these missions, basically military-style. It’s not grooming in the classic sense of that word but Lucas was groomed to be obedient and seek Shane’s approval. I assume Shane was basing their training off of what he went through in the military. But they were still young boys! Lucas was more invested than Nick and it’s Lucas who begins having sexual interest in Shane when he’s 17. Shane doesn’t see him that way and nothing sexual happens between them until Lucas is 19 and they don’t have penetrative sex until Lucas is 20. They were together for a few years before Shane died.

This is morality chain. Shane is not someone you can necessarily root for. It was in no way a healthy relationship but Lucas recognizing that doesn’t make things any easier to deal with, particularly because he and Nick continue to travel and look for clues. I’m not entirely clear what they do or what they’re looking for. Some sort of trafficking ring and then there’s Panoptes, which is where the PNR vibes come in. Lucas believes in Shane’s mission, even though he doesn’t even have all the puzzle pieces.

Despite not knowing where anything is going, I was still really invested in this story. Lucas’s struggle was visceral as he makes sense of his feelings and grief and purpose. He wants to move on but he doesn’t know how and there’s still this stubborn hope that maybe Shane isn’t actually dead. And then Shane answers the phone and upends everything for Lucas once more.

This was gripping stuff and I could barely put it down. And then the last 10 pages happened and I’m still reeling from it. It’s very intense and will be upsetting to some. At 80% in, Lucas drives across state lines to pick up an unconscious Shane who’s been left in a state park. He takes him to the hospital. When Shane finally wakes up, he doesn’t appear to know who he is or who Lucas is. Lucas does not handle this well. With little fanfare, he initiates rough sex while Shane is in the hospital bed. They’ve barely said two words to each other and Shane was just unconscious after being presumed dead for three years and has gone through who knows what. I read this as dubious consent at best, sexual assault or rape at worst. Per Lucas, Shane never asked for his consent when they had sex either. Lucas never initiated sex with Shane in the past. From the point of rescue on, it’s all about role reversal with Lucas having to take care of Shane, instead of the other way around. This could be read as Lucas wresting back power and control from Shane. It’s not clear what Shane thinks, although he does respond to Lucas’s overtures at a certain point, and by the time they’re done, it becomes clear he recognizes Lucas. Did rough sex jog his memory?? I really don’t know what to make of that scene or how to view the book as a whole so I’m leaving it unrated. I’m willing to see what happens in book 2 but this was a disturbing note to end on.

Note: This is set in the Hanged Men series universe but you don’t need to have read it first.


Characters: Lucas is a 28 year old bisexual white man. He has a younger brother named Nick. Shane is a 48 year old bisexual white warden and ex-Marine. This is set in Colorado and New Mexico.

Content notes: intimate partner violence (emotional abuse by Shane; Lucas bites Shane until he bleeds during sex), dubious consent/sexual assault or rape by MC Lucas initiates rough sex while Shane is in the hospital bed. Shane just woke up and doesn’t appear to know who he is or who Lucas is., violence, past child physical and emotional abuse, past mutilation (burned fingerprints off), past death of lover/warden except it turns out he’s alive three years later, unconscious MC and possible amnesia, Shane (neighbor) kidnapped Lucas and his brother when he was 6, child trafficking, missing person was sexually abused by stepfather, past imprisonment, unstable childhood, vomit, past death of Shane’s wife, past near-drowning of brother in bathtub, penetrative sex is the only “real” sex, on page sex, rimming, breath play, alcohol, marijuana, hangover, past underage drinking and prescription drug use, gendered pejoratives, gender essentialism, ableist language, reference to woman who died of cervical cancer

[orangefrangipane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't actually know how to rate this - I'm giving it 5 stars purely for making me feel SO much. this is such a devastating meditation on grief and trauma and love - the story unwinds itself slowly, always very sure, always very measured, but never not breathtaking. it trusts you to stick with it and discover its secrets, and it felt like i was being trusted with something precious with each new twist of the plot and as we were granted more and more access into lucas' world.

i realize the author's blurb of this really cleverly doesn't give a lot away. so it was such a joy to discover this creeping sense of horror and dread and waiting for the other shoe to drop that was infused throughout the build up, mixed with a dysfunctional family road trip that provided unexpected moments of levity (but also equally heartwrenching moments of directness - nick!!!!), mixed with what felt like mystery/true crime roots - BUT ALSO OBVIOUSLY THE GIGANTIC FUCKING MAGNUM OPUS THIS IS about loving someone who was your abuser, and reckoning with that, and hating that, and being glad they are out of your life, and missing them to your bones, and wanting them back, and then hating yourself for it all over again. and how do you heal from that? how do you cope with knowing they’ll always be a part of you? how do you contain that grief and that rage and that pain? the drop when lucas finally admits all of his fantasies are actually memories, just in time to realize shane is alive was just. like my GOD. i had chills all over. (also i don't know where else to note this, but the first time I realized this was something seriously special was when I internalized "a long flat gas slick of grief" (and the ensuing passage). and MY GOD AGAIN. the deep relief you feel when someone puts to words a feeling you have nestled so far inside of you, you can't imagine how it will ever come out).

also can we have a round of applause for the IMAGERY?! TRULY ICONIC. i thought what was also so special about this is how dense and symbolic so much of the prose/imagery is, but that the story still always flows, feels easy to read, easy to connect with, very difficult to put down - like I was just completely transported into lucas' world. also need to note that this is such complex subject matter - and the author handled it with SO much nuance and deftness. it's so fucking rare to read a fic like this that is not romanticizing or excusing or validating abuse - the abuse just is. and the entire first half of this (and more) is just lucas coming to terms with that. and that still doesn't mean he doesn't want shane, and that ALSO isn't glorified or romanticised, it just is. in all of its ugliness and messiness (and even hope. because we all need hope.).

ALSO the way everything went FULL FUCKING CIRCLE at the end with callback to the the metaphor/imagery around the mountain/peak/shards and just Shane rising above it all and obliterating everything else. and also the ENTIRE PASSAGE about unlocking the access to hate shane because he was present and living was a fucking gut punch. i mean this in the best way possible, but this book is in some ways like someone shook supernatural and fleabag and aftersun together and this is what was vomited out. (but that is not to say that this is copying anything; just that those are reference points for me in relation to this work)

ALSO! i usually hate when we switch POVs, but this is structured and done SO well in that shane is such a mystery, and if we're going to at all root for these two in some capacity beyond this current stretch of time, we need to get inside shane's head. and GOD is it a tall order, but i'm really looking forward to it! like the author painted such an unflinching portrait of what he inflicted on lucas, and also I can only imagine there's a really good plan in place to move things forward, so I, yeah. gonna need to mentally prepare myself for part 2 of this, but I will be there!!!!!

[Charlotte Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never read anything by this author before and I managed to get a free copy of this book during a free promotion on Instagram. Fairly dark considering the initial relationship between Lucas and Shane as paternal, albeit they are not actually related and Shane appears to be more of an abuser than a loving father figure. Personally I don't believe that a relationship evolving from what is essentially Stockholm syndrome can ever be truely consensual, so I found the sexual side of their relationship a uncomfortable to read, and this is not what I would ever describe as even a dark romance. However that being said I did really enjoy this book, although at times I had no idea what was actually going on. The story is told from Lucas POV as a now 28 year old man, however most of the story is his narration of his experiences with Shane over various stages of his life. Whilst their relationship didn't develop into a sexual one until Lucas was older, we do know that he was the ward of Shane from 6 years old. I do feel invested in Lucas and Shane's story and I feel there is a lot of unanswered questions so I am looking forward to reading the next part.

[Linda Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mysterious, intriguing, part one of a two-part M/M “romance”
Daniel May always has a unique grasp of his M/M “romance” which must be put in quotation marks because they are not the typical romance at all. When you read a May story, be prepared for the unusual, sometimes mystical but always intriguing storylines along with some poetic prose. This book will grab the reader by surprise as they realize the underlying events which led brothers Lucas and Nick to this moment. The whole story is told to the reader in bits and pieces over time which is fascinating and sometimes leads to more questions than answers; hence, book two. I am looking forward to tying up some loose ends and seeing where May goes with this age-gap lust/love story. (Was it real affection or Stockholm Syndrome?) There will be plenty of steam between Lucas and the warden Shane; not always the pretty kind but give it time, the reader will see what May is developing. I volunteered to review an ARC of this book through Gay Romance Reviews.

[Shernell Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This totally reminds me of "Supernatural", especially if Dean’s dad was his stepdad and they got involved with each other.

The whole situation is super taboo, especially as you learn more about their relationship. I was shocked by how things ended up between them. It’s mostly told from the perspective of a grieving boy who’s battling feelings of being groomed and dealing with this mysterious evil force.

His inner thoughts are intense, gut-wrenching, and very self-aware. You can feel his emotions—they come across as so real and raw. The story could have gone in a bunch of different directions, but it stays on track with him keeping that relationship with his guardian. Lucas’s obsession doesn’t feel genuine; he just doesn’t get it, or at least that’s how I saw it. I’m interested in reading the second book. It felt disturbing.......not in a sexy, taboo way, but in a genuinely sad way.

The only downside for me was that I wanted to dive deeper into the supernatural enemies, and the start of the book was kind of slow.

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

3 stars

I liked the dark feel that the blurb had for this book and I was intrigued to find out Lucas’ story. The book is told entirely from Lucas’ point of view and, since he doesn’t trust his own memories, it’s difficult to get to know him. I also found it difficult to piece together this story. By the time the book was finished, I still didn’t fully understand Shane’s history and what exactly these missions were that Shane had trained Lucas and Nick to complete.

At the end of this book, I had way more questions than answers and little idea of exactly what the men were involved in. I did like Shane and do want to know the rest of his story, as this is a duet with no ending in this first book, but getting a good grasp of this story was difficult due to the overall execution.

Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.

[Siâni · Rating 2 out of 5]

This sounded a lot more promising than it turned out to be.

I found the writing to be too descriptive at times of past events, to the point where I lost what the character wanted to convey and where they were. It was quite slow paced and it made it difficult to connect with any of the characters. The only character I really felt for was Nicky, and he was barely in it.

The 'twist' wasn't that much of a twist for me and felt quite obvious, and it was annoying this was revealed near the end of the novel.

At around 70% I skim-read the novel to see how it ended and it just wasn't for me. I didn't like the ending and it hasn't grabbed me enough to want to know what happens to the characters in the sequel.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is perhaps a generous 3. I don't know if it's me or the book.

It definitely got better the further in I got but I cannot for the life of me tell you what the plot is. It felt like I had started reading half way through, coupled with the fact it also felt like Supernatural fanfiction. I mean, 2 young boys raised on the road by a father figure that raised them more as soldiers than sons as they track and hunt...something? Sure its not exactly the most unique of setups but its pretty similar

Maybe if you've read the other series set in the same universe everything makes more sense, but I didn't work that bit out until the final author notes 🤦🏻‍♂️ honestly I'm just glad I finished it

[Robert Fontenot · Rating 2 out of 5]

Convoluted writing.

Not for me.

[Guardian.angel54 · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're reading this review, please bear with me. I'm trying to sum up everything I feel about this book without revealing too many spoilers or spend an hour gushing about the depth and addictiveness of the storyline. This is one of those stories that grips you and flays you open.
In a nutshell, this is the story of two men - Shane and Lucas. Shane is the older of the two and through bits of memories and flashbacks of Lucas, we come to understand that Shane basically kidnapped Lucas and his little brother when they were small children. The catalyst seems to be the death of Shane's wife - who often took care of the boys when their negligent mother failed to. It seems that Shane wanted to protect them from ... well, his own preconceived fear that they would become victims of child traffickers. Shane seems to be some kind of vigilante - hunting down leads on missing people and trying to track them down. He believes in some larger conspiracy outfit that is perpetrating these disappearances and lives in kind of an "always on the run" lifestyle. He has trained Lucas from childhood to follow in his footsteps - although he gave his little brother more freedom, even allowing him to go to college. From the get-go we can see that there's been a mutal obsession between Shane and Lucas. Oh, and at the beginning of the book, Shane is believed to be dead. The story is told exclusively from Lucas's viewpoint - interspersing current day and memories. Lucas is a very haunted young man. He's haunted by his feelings for Shane and the mission that they are on. There's so much here that I can't go into too many details without spoiling some of the surprises. At some point once Lucas has reached 18 years old, his relationship with Shane become more sexual, although Shane continued to remain emotionally aloof. This emotional disconnect tears Lucas up and contributes to his conflicting feelings. As the story progresses we get more and more breadcrumbs as to what the mission is and what happened to Shane, until everything you thought you knew explodes in an epic fashion and leaves you reeling from the WTF residue. About this point, the book rolls into a HFN, with the clear indication that there is a lot more to unpack in the follow-up book.
To say that this book just grabbed me by the proverbial balls would be an understatement. Daniel May writes in almost a poetic type of prose at times - that at first seemed to be too heavy handed and over-the-top, but actually works to create this dark ambiance and feeling of being detached and watching from the outside. Which is what gives the story an eerie sort of vibe. It's like the suspenseful music in a horror movie - you know something's about to happen and you are perched on the edge of your seat waiting!
This book is nothing like anything I've read before and I'm completely hypnotized! I can't wait to see what dark path the author leads us down in the next book - and to quote his words, I think we are going to end up in the "belly of the beast"! Highly recommend this! 10/10*

[Mal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tough book to review for me because it’s the first half of a dark suspense romance duet told from a single POV, so I’m just going to share my impressions, doing my level best to not give any spoilers!

I loved reading this book, the writing is visceral and highly immersive, telling a story about flawed, multifaceted characters. Even though it’s in third person you are navigating their journey as Lucas who is travelling with his brother, you have front row seats to the grief, rage, obsession, memories and flashbacks and the self doubt of parsing fact from fiction. You get a painful glimpse of the horrifically unfair and your heart breaks for Lucas and you are wondering constantly at Shane’s story beyond the values Lucas has assigned to it.
Aside from that is the life and death mystery and you are trying to put the pieces together but nothing is really predictable in this story beyond what the author has warned you about in his blurb and trigger and content warnings of which there are many.
The emotional worlds in the book are unctuous and rich but this is not at all a typical romance and not just because of the almost devoted obsessive nature of their connection. Most of the story is an amorphously defined quest which also then starts solidifying rapidly towards the end giving you more concrete information to work with and where any romantic/sexual interaction between the two is almost entirely described in the past.
But you are still left with more questions than answers, no closure and on the edge of a cliff heavily invested in the characters and I will definitely be reading the second part.

Expect:
- dark romance
- Slow burn
- Pining
- Suspense
- Violence
- Age Gap
- Forbidden themes

TW/CW: His contains depictions of past child abuse (physical and emotional), allusions to CSA and trafficking (not between the main characters), casual drug use, references to underage drinking and illicit drug abuse, a twenty year age gap between the main couple, and some gore and violence. Further detailed warnings are available in the book as a precursor.

[S.K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It would be disingenuous of me not to mention that I had some thoughts about the potential plot bunnies for this half of a tale. Two brothers, hunting monsters in an American muscle car much beloved by the older one; a missing father – if your mind goes in a certain direction, I am with you. Add to that, the missing father figure who had a complicated and entangled relationship with the older son, and it sounds a lot like a few stories I’ve read.

This is difficult to review simply because it is only half of the story. Lucas – and the inner writhings of his mind – were fascinating, as was his relationship with his brother, Nicky. Lucas is completely and utterly obsessed with Shane, their pseudo father figure, who died three years ago – his mind creates memories and he self-medicates with weed to handle the chaos in his head. This is very much the back story – how Lucas came to be the man that he is, why he is obsessed with Shane and how much the need and desire for that man rules his life.

I would say it isn’t so much of a romance because Shane doesn’t come back on the scene until very late into the book. How Lucas finds him is fascinating, and their first real time spent together in three years is hot and terrifying in equal measure. But the story is most definitely only half-told and as such, it’s really difficult to rate this story. I don’t think there is any way to read this as a standalone and I await the publication of part two in September to complete the picture.

As always, May writes with assured confidence, pulling you easily into the story and the calibre of the writing isn’t in question – I think that I personally would have preferred it if the two halves had been published together.

I received an ARC from GRR.

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ This book was a carnival ride and I mean that in an emotionally as well as mentally. The book feels almost trippy and dream like told from Lucases prospect. A large majority of this book is flashes and memories of his “father” and childhood. Present moments bleed into past events and emotions. You really have to try and piece together what is happening when, and what the lager picture is, and honestly I still have a ton of questions, there is a lot of vagueness and secrets hinted at but never solidified. While reading this I got Supernatural vibes all the way, the brothers, the smart one Sam (charming and good with Tech. got to go to college.) The tuff one Dean who had it harder from dad. The slight paranormal angle, the hunting, the saving people, the mustang and the hotel rooms. I’m sure I could point out more, honestly I love Supernatural so I was here for it. The emotion in this book are well written I could feel Lucases leap off the page. I highlighted some of my favorite lines from the book, the sexy scenes are gritty and hot. The writing has a certain feel to it that makes it somewhat hard to get into but once you settle in you get the hang of it. Some of the prose are quite beautifully written. All that being said while I enjoy parts of this book I did feel that a lot of things in the story were too vague. I also felt like the book did drag a bit. It is considered to be a whole first volume of a book, although it’s a two-parter. It definitely feels incomplete and needs a second part. I’m also a reader who enjoys living through the emotions as they occur, and so I might have liked more show and less tell about Lucas’s and Shane’s past. Also that ending.

[Teeny · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very difficult book to rate and review.... When it came to the paranormal aspects of the story, it feels like I was dropped into the middle of the story, and no one wanted or cared to explain it to me, nor were there any clues, info or hints whatsoever.

That wouldn't have made me feel so lost or hinder my enjoyment if that aspect didn't play a role in Lucas and Shane's story. It did though, but I have no clue why or how or anything. I'm kinda guessing the why but there's nothing concrete to base it on. It has to do with Shane's wife, and baby too since that appeared way late in the book, but that's it. The story has two plot lines, or maybe it's just one and they are connected but since we have no info who knows, when it comes to Shane's vigilantism target.

Now when it comes to Shane and Lucas... oh boy mixed feelings there quite a lot... but I really liked it. Messed up, dark, co-dependent romance FTW!!! I was just hoping that things would have moved quicker... yes I know, I know this is a duology, but we meandered here for so long I'm not sure I have the patience or will to go into the 2nd book...

And then there's Nick.... does he know about the Panoptes? Does he have any clue what Lucas went through? How his relationship was with Shane? Does Nick have any role at all in the story??

This was and wasn't a thrilling read at the same time.... Will I be back for the 2nd part.... I don't think so.

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.

[Ren || Reading What I Want · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve come to realize you have to have at least TWO things going for you if you wanna read a Daniel May book.

1. You gotta love psychological, twisted, dark(ish) mm romances. Morally grey characters seem almost rainbow colored compared to some of Daniel’s characters.
2. You gotta love details and inner monologues. Soooo many details, but in every single case, it’s needed and wanted here.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting the dark, emotional, sexy, taboo(ish), surprisingly paranormal vibes of this one. Lucas spends almost the whole book obsessed with the man who took him and his younger brother. The man who lost a wife and then rescued the two boys next door from their foster home. The man who raised them to be hunters, killers, avengers, Shane.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧? 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧? 𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙣? 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩?

Told through memories and reminiscences and a few present day experiences, I was OBSESSED with this story from start to finish. Not overly sexual, but the tension and pain and confusion and self-loathing and love was soothing. A strange thought to have about this psych romance. AND I just found out we’re getting another story in 2024. This pleases me!

𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙣’𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡.

It is written in 3rd person but it works. Everything Daniel writes works. 🥰 I NEED the rest of this story.