Undressing Infidelity: Why More Wives are Unfaithful

by Diane Shader Smith

Offers an inside look at the lives of married women involved in extramarital affairs.

Genres: Nonfiction

272 pages, Paperback

First published February 9, 2005

Reviews

[Kirsti · Rating 2 out of 5]

What's good:
* This is basically gossip disguised as oral history (no pun intended). And I like gossip, and my reading it rather than telling it means that I don't hurt anybody.
* The author tries to interview women of different ages, races, classes, and cultures from different parts of the country.
* The author tries to maintain the distinct voice of each participant.

What's bad:
* There's no analysis ... no data on whether women's infidelity really HAS increased or whether people are just more likely to admit it these days. Also, there are no reflections on how changes in feminism, capitalism, technology, religion, or psychology have affected things.
* There's no context. Some of these stories are recent while others are decades old, but there's no attempt to sort out which is which or reflect on how infidelity has changed over time.
* It's all about Diane Shader Smith. From quoting herself at the start of the book to devoting the first and last chapters to her own story to finishing up by extolling the virtues of her husband (ew), the author just can't get enough of herself. I am so glad I never worked for her when she was a PR director.

[Vintage In Wonderland Photography · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually enjoyed reading this book because with each "interview" conducted of all of these multi back-grounded; Race,Wealth,Body-shape ect...lady's was just like reading 14 short stories in one book. I don't condone cheating by males or females, however I found myself saying "Well, as long as the cheater doesn't get caught, and that they continue to be in love with their husband or wife, then it might be OK." I think I started getting sucked in, so to speak; to the fact that most of these women, are under the impression that as long as they keep their two different lives (cheating life VS their family life) separated, and that they still were very much in love with their husbands.. that it wasn't a big deal. However, after reading this book as a whole, you start to realize that sooner or later, it's all going to come crashing down around you. I also noticed that quite a few of the women didn't take the time to really get to know their soon-to-be husbands. They married too soon, and didn't seem to be happy after a year or so. Most married the "nice guy" and it was nice. Soon after, they realize that they want more excitement in the bedroom, hints the cheating. I think, you can find it ALL in one man... but you must look for it, don't be so fast into marriage. I liked how "in your face" the sex was. It was thrilling and seductive but at the same time, it leaves you with the hard facts of cheating and the "what if's".

[Tori · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of an odd pairing of books my daughter picked up from a remainder table somewhere--the other was a book on ethics!!! I found the stories in here interesting but uncomfortable. I was shocked by the statistics quote, but moreso by the near universal lack of caring about the harm these women might be doing to other people. It was all about "me" for them. Yet I could see, in a couple of cases, where the woman had been trapped in an unsuitable marriage. In others, there seemed to be something "pheromonic" or biological going on that short-circuited the women's good sense and encouraged them to give in to the "animal" side of them, and of course, once done, it seems there is no going back. How different some of their lives might have turned out had there been no "temptation" in the first place. It's quite easy to be "virtuous" when one is not tempted to be otherwise, so while I feel disapproving (and in some cases, VERY disapproving), I also feel that I should not be so hasty to pass judgment. Human do, after all, make mistakes.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was actually a very good book. The author did a good job of finding interesting subjects to work with and try to understand why women cheat. This is something that affects 1/3 of all couples, and I don't think it's a good idea to underestimate the possibility that it could happen in any relationship. What really jumped out for me was that it's really important to be married to the right person in the first place, and it's equally as important to be self-aware. The two biggest reasons women cheated were that they were unhappy in their marriage or they were unhappy with themselves and completely unenlightened before getting married.

[Stacie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It delves into the lives of women who have had affairs; what made them stray and what the outcome was after the affair had happened. At the beginning of each chapter the author gives a brief summary about the womans life and appearance. Each story continues with the philosophy of the adultress. Whether these stories are morally right or wrong depends entirely on point of view. Socially I can understand the drives behind a few of these cases. How much of this is true? I can't say due to anonymity. Either way an interesting read.

[Heather]

Very eye-opening stories.

[RYCJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

loved the covers. contents lacked substance.

[Paula Kolocotronis · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE THIS BOOK