What do you think?
Celibacy: Means of Control or Mandate of the Heart?
minor shelf wear only BUT some underlining
Paperback
First published March 1, 1996
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review
February 25, 2023
A POPULAR RETREAT LEADER SPEAKS OPENLY
Author and Franciscan priest Michael H. Crosby wrote in the Introduction to this 1995 book, “I have always been a virgin, but I have not always been a celibate. The more I know about the two notions, the more I believe they can differ greatly, especially as far as men are concerned. And that’s the perspective from which I write this book. To me, virginity is a biological condition… Celibacy, while having a biological dimension … represents something more. That ‘something more’ about celibacy involves a stance that goes far beyond a dictionary definition as a ‘state of not being married,’ or ‘abstention from sexual intercourse,’ or even ‘abstention by vow from marriage.’ Above all, celibacy represents an attitude. Celibacy characterizes the way people choose to live as virgins… while celibacy involves the embrace of a divinely-offered gift inviting one to freely choose a life-commitment of abstention from genital intimacy, it also finds expression in an alternate type of intimacy with God and others.” (Pg. 8)
He continues, “My argument for this book does not arise from my unhappiness as a celibate. It is based on the deeper conviction that the present dispensation of celibacy has resulted from historical factors that will not be repeated in the foreseeable future. It rests on the way I have experienced celibacy in my own life and from listening to many others’ experience as well, including conversations in the internal forum (i.e., confession). Above all, my argument finds its main justification in a deeper source than sociology, in the words of Jesus in Matthew’s gospel: ‘There will be few who can truly accept it.’ I am convinced that when celibacy is no longer imposed, only a few, and especially only a few males, will make themselves celibate. In the future few will accept this pattern of life because we will have appropriated in a healthier way the understanding of Matthew’s Jesus and those first disciples of what we call celibacy.
“Jesus’ statement will be the norm: it will be a rare exception when people ‘make themselves’ eunuchs. Their truly free decision will have little or nothing to do with the tradition, law, or practice of past centuries. It will not be connected to ministry or to orders. Neither will it be a ‘fall-back’ position because one has found no other life alternatives. Rather it will result from a free choice arising from one’s understanding of the force of God’s reign in one’s life and how that presence can be expressed wholeheartedly in the world. This will occur when we truly ground celibacy in the theology of ‘gift’ and ‘charism’ which, by their own definitions, imply behaviors free of outside coercion, conditions, and/or control. Only then will celibacy reflect a truly authentic way of life for some of the people of God.” (Pg. 9-10)
He explains, “my decision to write this book arose … during … 1993. I attended a chapter of my province at St. Lawrence Seminary… As we assembled, a press barrage of allegations of … sexual improprieties involving at least five Capuchin friars from our province was in full swing… As we first talked about these allegations… I remembered how often … other Capuchins … alluded to our own past ‘non-celibate actions.’ … It appeared to represent an admission on the part of all who said it, that we had failed as vowed religious to be the celibates we publicly had promised we would be… we all seemed to be saying we didn’t want public exposure for our noncompliance with a vow we had publicly promised to observe… It just seemed to be acknowledged that we all had failed in being celibate… in some way… I wondered… what dilemmas must diocesan priests be facing, knowing that celibacy was a law that Pope John XXIII said could be changed with the flick of a pen?... I became increasingly aware of the historical and internal contradictions connected to the present dispensation of mandatory celibacy. These thoughts led me back to the scriptures… I began to ask… ‘If such is the case, who can be celibate?’ This book will attempt to show that the answer will be ‘very few.’” (Pg. 17-19)
He continues, “My purpose in writing this book to show that, in too many cases, laws are not beg observed, not so much because of selfishness or culture’s decline, or because of a breakdown of morality or the erosion of sacrifice, or even because of society’s promiscuity or consumerism. All too often, celibacy no longer obtains because of the law’s one internal contradictions, its lack of grounding in solid scriptural reflection and spirituality, and the absence of a proper support system to support the truly celibate option. This is especially so for men.” (Pg. 20)
He states, “God’s word can be abused by people in power who have a vested interest in maintaining celibacy… this abuse has served the interest of all goals of abuse: to maintain control through fear and intimidation… clerical celibacy represents just part of an overall effort used and abused by some in the church, especially its leaders, to impose celibacy as a means of ensuring and maintaining their control. In turn this control has reinforced an institution characterized by patriarchal clericalism.” (Pg. 41)
He observes, “Gratification in a secondary family that gets expressed in such forms of intimacy as touch is not easily available in substitute forms like rectory living, religious community, or support groups like Dignity or Courage. Almost all gratifications of touch that represent an essential part of what I will call sexual intimacy---holding, caressing, embracing---seem to be out of bounds for most people except in their secondary families. This makes even more demands on males than females. A male can be immediately suspect in our culture if he touches another person ‘too long.’” (Pg. 84-85)
He suggests, “as people increasingly experience their own personal crisis of meaning in celibacy, when celibacy in the institution is undermined, and when the culture that was once defined by celibacy no longer generates faith in celibacy, the individual celibate’s crisis of meaning will be more severe. It is little wonder, then, why we continually face in the Catholic church various forms of the ‘mass neurotic triad’ or depression, aggression, and addiction.” (Pg. 121)
He comments, “as a celibate sexual person, what also makes me spiritual is the way I do not spiritualize my relationships in the sense of being removed from being sexual and personal. Rather I am able to be intimate as a celibate precisely because I have discovered non-manipulative ways of being personally and sexually intimate with others. This is what makes me both celibate and spiritual… As a celibate, while I may be separated from other individual males and females in life by not being genital, spirituality is what enables me as a celibate to make love in a non-genital way. Making love in this way … is the only authentic way to be spiritual and celibate.” (Pg. 158)
He says, “the future of celibacy will remain very tentative unless it is accompanied by a communal environment which engenders trust. Despite all the mission statements and provincial plans, all the visioning and pastoral programs, until we grapple with the fundamental issue of community and the erosion of trust among our members we will be skirting a key issue. Without trust-defined relationships, celibacy cannot be maintained…” (Pg. 199)
He concludes, “When one makes the choice for celibacy, for the sake of the reign of God, all one can simply say… is ‘this is who I am.’ Celibacy represents my best self… The celibate way of relating is at heart a way free of the need to control, manipulate, dominate, exploit, or abuse. For the celibate, the other is viewed as a person to be care for with commitment rather than someone or something that can be used for my pleasure… These celibates … will be the ones who have fo0und a place in their heart only for God.” (Pg. 224-225)
This book will interest those studying the issue of celibacy.
Author and Franciscan priest Michael H. Crosby wrote in the Introduction to this 1995 book, “I have always been a virgin, but I have not always been a celibate. The more I know about the two notions, the more I believe they can differ greatly, especially as far as men are concerned. And that’s the perspective from which I write this book. To me, virginity is a biological condition… Celibacy, while having a biological dimension … represents something more. That ‘something more’ about celibacy involves a stance that goes far beyond a dictionary definition as a ‘state of not being married,’ or ‘abstention from sexual intercourse,’ or even ‘abstention by vow from marriage.’ Above all, celibacy represents an attitude. Celibacy characterizes the way people choose to live as virgins… while celibacy involves the embrace of a divinely-offered gift inviting one to freely choose a life-commitment of abstention from genital intimacy, it also finds expression in an alternate type of intimacy with God and others.” (Pg. 8)
He continues, “My argument for this book does not arise from my unhappiness as a celibate. It is based on the deeper conviction that the present dispensation of celibacy has resulted from historical factors that will not be repeated in the foreseeable future. It rests on the way I have experienced celibacy in my own life and from listening to many others’ experience as well, including conversations in the internal forum (i.e., confession). Above all, my argument finds its main justification in a deeper source than sociology, in the words of Jesus in Matthew’s gospel: ‘There will be few who can truly accept it.’ I am convinced that when celibacy is no longer imposed, only a few, and especially only a few males, will make themselves celibate. In the future few will accept this pattern of life because we will have appropriated in a healthier way the understanding of Matthew’s Jesus and those first disciples of what we call celibacy.
“Jesus’ statement will be the norm: it will be a rare exception when people ‘make themselves’ eunuchs. Their truly free decision will have little or nothing to do with the tradition, law, or practice of past centuries. It will not be connected to ministry or to orders. Neither will it be a ‘fall-back’ position because one has found no other life alternatives. Rather it will result from a free choice arising from one’s understanding of the force of God’s reign in one’s life and how that presence can be expressed wholeheartedly in the world. This will occur when we truly ground celibacy in the theology of ‘gift’ and ‘charism’ which, by their own definitions, imply behaviors free of outside coercion, conditions, and/or control. Only then will celibacy reflect a truly authentic way of life for some of the people of God.” (Pg. 9-10)
He explains, “my decision to write this book arose … during … 1993. I attended a chapter of my province at St. Lawrence Seminary… As we assembled, a press barrage of allegations of … sexual improprieties involving at least five Capuchin friars from our province was in full swing… As we first talked about these allegations… I remembered how often … other Capuchins … alluded to our own past ‘non-celibate actions.’ … It appeared to represent an admission on the part of all who said it, that we had failed as vowed religious to be the celibates we publicly had promised we would be… we all seemed to be saying we didn’t want public exposure for our noncompliance with a vow we had publicly promised to observe… It just seemed to be acknowledged that we all had failed in being celibate… in some way… I wondered… what dilemmas must diocesan priests be facing, knowing that celibacy was a law that Pope John XXIII said could be changed with the flick of a pen?... I became increasingly aware of the historical and internal contradictions connected to the present dispensation of mandatory celibacy. These thoughts led me back to the scriptures… I began to ask… ‘If such is the case, who can be celibate?’ This book will attempt to show that the answer will be ‘very few.’” (Pg. 17-19)
He continues, “My purpose in writing this book to show that, in too many cases, laws are not beg observed, not so much because of selfishness or culture’s decline, or because of a breakdown of morality or the erosion of sacrifice, or even because of society’s promiscuity or consumerism. All too often, celibacy no longer obtains because of the law’s one internal contradictions, its lack of grounding in solid scriptural reflection and spirituality, and the absence of a proper support system to support the truly celibate option. This is especially so for men.” (Pg. 20)
He states, “God’s word can be abused by people in power who have a vested interest in maintaining celibacy… this abuse has served the interest of all goals of abuse: to maintain control through fear and intimidation… clerical celibacy represents just part of an overall effort used and abused by some in the church, especially its leaders, to impose celibacy as a means of ensuring and maintaining their control. In turn this control has reinforced an institution characterized by patriarchal clericalism.” (Pg. 41)
He observes, “Gratification in a secondary family that gets expressed in such forms of intimacy as touch is not easily available in substitute forms like rectory living, religious community, or support groups like Dignity or Courage. Almost all gratifications of touch that represent an essential part of what I will call sexual intimacy---holding, caressing, embracing---seem to be out of bounds for most people except in their secondary families. This makes even more demands on males than females. A male can be immediately suspect in our culture if he touches another person ‘too long.’” (Pg. 84-85)
He suggests, “as people increasingly experience their own personal crisis of meaning in celibacy, when celibacy in the institution is undermined, and when the culture that was once defined by celibacy no longer generates faith in celibacy, the individual celibate’s crisis of meaning will be more severe. It is little wonder, then, why we continually face in the Catholic church various forms of the ‘mass neurotic triad’ or depression, aggression, and addiction.” (Pg. 121)
He comments, “as a celibate sexual person, what also makes me spiritual is the way I do not spiritualize my relationships in the sense of being removed from being sexual and personal. Rather I am able to be intimate as a celibate precisely because I have discovered non-manipulative ways of being personally and sexually intimate with others. This is what makes me both celibate and spiritual… As a celibate, while I may be separated from other individual males and females in life by not being genital, spirituality is what enables me as a celibate to make love in a non-genital way. Making love in this way … is the only authentic way to be spiritual and celibate.” (Pg. 158)
He says, “the future of celibacy will remain very tentative unless it is accompanied by a communal environment which engenders trust. Despite all the mission statements and provincial plans, all the visioning and pastoral programs, until we grapple with the fundamental issue of community and the erosion of trust among our members we will be skirting a key issue. Without trust-defined relationships, celibacy cannot be maintained…” (Pg. 199)
He concludes, “When one makes the choice for celibacy, for the sake of the reign of God, all one can simply say… is ‘this is who I am.’ Celibacy represents my best self… The celibate way of relating is at heart a way free of the need to control, manipulate, dominate, exploit, or abuse. For the celibate, the other is viewed as a person to be care for with commitment rather than someone or something that can be used for my pleasure… These celibates … will be the ones who have fo0und a place in their heart only for God.” (Pg. 224-225)
This book will interest those studying the issue of celibacy.
Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review