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Faith, Doubt, and Other Lines I've Crossed: Walking with the Unknown God

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Innovative pastor Jay Bakker thought he knew the God who rigorously patrolled every aspect of his life, the God who chose sides, the God who was always disappointed in him. But through the transformative power of grace, he discovered the God who loved and accepted unconditionally, freeing him to ask the hard questions and delve into one of Christianity's greatest doubt.

In Faith, Doubt, and Other Lines I've Crossed , Jay voices the questions that Christians are thinking but won't ask as he chronicles his doubt about God, the Bible, heaven and hell, church, society, relationships, grace, and love. In the process he encourages all of us to welcome "the other", to read the Bible differently but better, to draw together in community, and to seek an unknown God of limitless grace.

Brutally honest but full of grace, Jay invites everyone to cross the line, to dig deeper, and to discover a faith that is beyond belief.

208 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2013

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344 people want to read

About the author

Jay Bakker

4 books33 followers
Jay Bakker is the son of Jim Bakker and the late Tammy Faye Messner, who ran the PTL television ministry until it came crashing down in the late 1980s amid accusations of an accounting-fraud scandal. At its height, it boasted 13 million viewers and a Christian resort. Bakker began his own ministry, called Revolution, in 1994. It now has plants in New York, Charlotte, and Atlanta.

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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
Profile Image for Rob  Davis.
2 reviews6 followers
February 9, 2013
When I was a “leader” in the church, I always assumed it was supposed to be about people. I thought crazy things like: a pastor (shepherd) was supposed to actually know the sheep. And, that the shepherd was primarily a sheep, receiving love from the Great Shepherd, before anything else. When it became something other than that, I had a real problem doing it anymore. When my “billable hours” shifted toward working “on” the church (the institution), rather than “in” the church (with actual people), it wasn’t long before I had to step away.

A turning point came for me when some good friends had some real questions about “women in leadership.” They had gone to one of the “elders” of our church, and his explanation was “this is just the way it is.” Period. This sent me down the “slippery slope” of actually trying to answer someone’s question. What I discovered was that there was no easy answer. A real person with a real question made it very difficult for me to toe the party line. At the time, this kind of “caving” (theology from the bottom up, rather than the top down) was seen as a weakness (which, in that world, was a negative thing), while simply regurgitating the freeze dried theology of our “tradition” (i.e. neo-Reformed complementarianism) was hailed as “courageous.” I used to hear the phrase all the time that some things are “closed hand” issues. But, what I experienced was that a closed hand is just another way to say “fist”, and a fist is a weapon.

I met Jay Bakker several years ago, but I’ve tried to keep up with his “ministry” ever since. From day one, he has been a broken record. And that’s why I’ve had a hard time ignoring him. Just like all the prophets that I admire, Jay’s message is pretty simple: life is about receiving and giving grace; as he says “to make grace famous.” To thrive, to live an “abundant life”, is to love. On my worst days, this message makes me want to kneel at the altar of Bishop Richard Dawkins, and demonize “religion.” Some days I agree with Nietzsche (and, ironically, the neo-Reformed) that this kind of absolute acceptance is a negative. That real compassion, empathy, forgiveness are pitiful, ridiculous. Less than “manly.” But, when I’m able to take a breath, something deep down tells me that it’s better to love than to hate, better to dialogue than to drop bombs, better to receive and give grace than to hold on to suicidal bitterness.

I was pretty stoked to hear about Jay’s new book, “Faith, Doubt, and Other Lines I’ve Crossed.” Thankfully, there are an increasing number of Christians who have found space to be honest about their doubts. But, just like it may seem that there are more gay people today than in the past, the truth is that they have always been around; they just weren’t as able to be out like they are today. But, though we may have seen the mountaintop, we still haven’t reached the Promised Land. Freedom and equality have yet to be realized in many ways. And, I see the lack of honesty among religious people to be part of this much larger problem. We still need a revolution in what Tillich called “the courage to be.” I see Jay’s brutal honesty (“I’m not sure I believe anymore”) as part of this paradigm shift in what is to come: a new, sustainable spirituality.

Jay talks in the book about getting ripped apart theologically, and, if you’re like me and have read way too many philosophy and theology books, you will quickly realize why. Jay doesn’t write (or speak) in a straightforward, systematic fashion. It’s more from the hip, stream of consciousness. And, this is a huge part of what I love about his writing and speaking. I doubt that most people are going to pick up Kierkegaard or Derrida or Levinas, or, even if they do, they will lose patience pretty quickly, and move on to something else. But, I think religious and irreligious people alike need to get their hands on Jay’s book. I wish I would’ve had access to stuff like this before I walked away from “the church.” If nothing else, for the sake of understanding. To eliminate a lot of the caricatures that exist in our divided culture today. I would guess that many people coming from my side of the “does God exist?” spectrum would resonate with most of what Jay says in this book, and would find his understanding of God and Jesus compelling.

But, in the spirit of Jay’s brutal honesty about his own doubts, here are the kinds of questions that came to me while reading the book. Once you have so redefined and separated yourself from the mainstream, orthodox views of Christianity, what’s the point? (And, I’m not saying what’s the point of living or anything like that, but what’s the point of holding on to “God” or Christianity at all?) Is theological language even helpful anymore, when the most dominant voices among us are painting a completely different picture? I often feel this way when reading someone like Pete Rollins. I can go pages and pages and be fully on board, and then some religious word or phrase is used and I get really confused. It’s hard for me to see it as helpful or necessary. When I’m having real conversations with real people, it more often seems to be completely unhelpful. So, while I resonate with what these kinds of religious conversations are “getting at,” I just have a hard time understanding the urge to throw in such divisive language in order to communicate clearly. If the majority of people do define God in the ways that Jay critiques in the book, then why not quit using the word?

I say all this because I’m often torn between two worlds. I see that theological language can be helpful, in certain situations. But, I don’t think it’s helpful in elevator conversations, or in our soundbyte culture, where no one wants to take the time to actually listen to anyone else. This is part of the reason why I describe myself as an atheist, because most of the time I don’t have the patience, or time, to actually elaborate on where I’m coming from. But, for those who will listen, when my guard is down (and most likely after a few beers), I will be much less hesitant to be more agnostic than atheistic about Jay’s God (who “cannot be known” but is “found in the love between us”) and Jay’s Jesus (who “fulfilled the law by breaking it”, who really accepts everyone).

So, while I support Jay’s effort of changing Christianity from within, I have a really hard time personally investing my life in that. A bigger part of me just wants to let it die, to focus my time and energy on creating something new. Thankfully, I feel that I have been welcomed into a spiritual movement that allows both of our “teams” to come together and figure out the best way forward, for the good of everyone.

I was going to try to post a lot of direct quotes and my responses to them, but I don’t want to give too much away. Seriously, you should read this book, wherever you are on the spectrum of belief or unbelief. Give it to friends and family. Start conversations around it. Then, tell Jay how much you love it. As a real shepherd of real people, Jay needs our encouragement.

Thank you, Jay. In a possibly strange way, you’ve become like a pastor to me.
Profile Image for Scott.
21 reviews1 follower
April 23, 2013
I just left a party to go to my hotel to read the last chapter of Jay Bakker’s book “Faith, Doubt, and Other lines I’ve crossed”. It was that awesome. I was half way into the book on the bus from Belfast to Dublin this morning when I started texting my best friend. The texts went something like:
“I’m ordering you Jay Bakker’s new book. Read it.”
“Hard copy sent… couldn’t figure out how to order it for your kindle since my kindle already owns it… stupid technology”
“Awesome book. Heart of Francis Chan. Head of Peter Rollins (but a lot more understandable)” Sorry Pete.

I then start texting him photos of pages of the book (apologies to Jay's copyright lawyer). Specifically the part about the church’s view of Mathew 18 being the antithesis of 2 Corinthians 13 (my buddy got to ‘experience’ that in front of a body of “believers” who were doing “God’s will”).

Jay talks about what scandalous, vulgar grace is like. If you are looking for a book to affirm a certain, doubtless, inerrant view of Christianity…. this is not a book for you. But if you struggle, doubt or are looking for a deeper relationship with God than the theistic god created in church … this is a great book. Jay doesn’t apologize for doubting. His God is big enough. Jay doesn’t apologize for extending grace to “sinners” and not worrying about if they are “holy” enough. His God is big enough. It is vulgar. NC17 stuff.

The one reason I give it 4 out of 5 starts is because Jay goes on a rather long tirade in the middle part of the book about affirming LGBTQ in the church. For me, LGBTQ is a label and that label is not sinful. A person loving another person, regardless of gender, is not sin… that is just about as stupid as saying my wife is my property. I don’t like labels. I understand we want to call one label good and one label bad. The problem is that I’m as undeserving of God’s grace as the founder of the North American Man Boy Love Association (a pedophile advocacy group). But that is how scandalous God’s grace is…

All in all … this is an awesome book. I’ve already ordered 3 copies today for different friends. It is clearly one for a ‘book club’ and/or discussion group. I can only imagine how much fun it would be to talk about “you mean Jesus was talking about that guy when he was saying love everybody? But that guys a prick… “ Scandalous. Truly Scandalous.
Profile Image for Joy Matteson.
649 reviews68 followers
August 5, 2013
So when I was a kid, my parents had a copy of Jay Bakker's dad's book, "I Was Wrong". I sneakily read it off the shelf, and was rather horrified at the contents--but then again, I was a 12 year old girl who had no idea things like sexual scandal could rock a church or ministry in such a public way. From an adult perspective, I only have the utmost respect and admiration for Jay Bakker, who grew up in the worst kind of spotlight, and I already have an inclination to hear what he has to say based on his experience. When I heard him speak of 'vulgar grace' in this book, I knew we were spiritually kindred spirits. I wanted to hear a little bit more of his theory based on another scholar's book on the later epistles of Paul--in essence, that other writers wrote I and II Timothy and Titus, the last few books attributed to Paul. A fascinating theory that I wish he had touched on a bit more, especially since I'm very interested in speaking on gender roles within my own church. A great book--highly recommended.
Profile Image for Nancy.
913 reviews4 followers
June 18, 2017
As a 40+ year Episcopalian, and married to an Episcopal priest, I found this book really good in the vein of making one think and in engendering conversation on a long strip of interstate travel. Read this book if you have faith questions--coming from the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker you'll likely be surprised at where his mind is these days and how he feels about the church. Plus, he will get you thinking about your own beliefs.
Profile Image for Corey Friedrich.
149 reviews
September 14, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. Jay brings up a lot of issues that those of us who have grown up in a fundamentalist Christian faith have wondered about, tried to rationalize, and make sense of. His conclusions are not 100% satisfying but he points out that this is sort of the point. Faith is faith, not certainty. Highly recommended.
576 reviews14 followers
February 15, 2013
You can find my entire review here: http://mimi-cyberlibrarian.blogspot.c...

Jay Bakker continues his faith journey with his new book, Faith, Doubt, and Other Lines I've Crossed. I read his book Fall to Grace in 2011 and found it to be refreshingly honest and forthright. I feel the same about this book, although this one reads more like Bakker's sermons than the last book did.

The three themes he dwells on in Faith, Doubt are uncertainty, inclusion, and grace. Grace was the theme of Fall to Grace, of course, and he continues to explore that theme while also expressing his own uncertainty about the certainty of faith.

He emphasizes exclusion and inclusion extensively; he is known for his gay rights advocacy. Bakker continues to fight against his Pentecostal background with its exclusionary atmosphere and literal acceptance of the Bible. He says, "The Bible isn't the place for answers. If we look to it for answers, we are expecting what it cannot deliver." The Bible is a story of an evolving faith, and we are supposed to evolve in our faith as well. Now I would suppose that might be heretical to some, but for liberal Christian me, it sounds rational and forward thinking.

He also expresses the doubts that come with an evolving faith, and I think that the passages in the book about doubt are probably Bakker at his strongest. I can just see a questioner coming to one of Bakker's sermons at the bar where he preaches on Sunday afternoon. Here is tattooed Bakker telling the skeptic, "You think you've got doubts? Well let me tell you--I've got doubts!" He is telling his parishioners and his readers that doubt is part of what makes us Christian. Certainty is the enemy and the concept of hell that keeps people in rigid conformity is also the enemy. "When people fail or make mistakes, we distance ourselves from them instead of restoring them. We're so reactionary. We don't seek the lost sheep--we thank God that we aren't like them, and we make sure they don't lead any other sheep astray. This is exactly the attitude that Jesus reacted against with the religious leaders of his day."

Bakker evokes the great 20th century theologian, Paul Tillich several times in his book, but he also quotes current movies, music and other aspects of popular culture as he seeks to be relevant to a new generation and a new world. My mainline, slow-moving denomination is also seeking to be relevant to a new generation and a new world. It is much easier for "one punk under God" to move ahead than it is for an unwieldy mainstream denomination to do the same. I stick with my denomination because it is trying to change and evolve. We live in a post-Christian age, and if we are to survive as Christians, we must listen to the voices of change and not be reluctant to the change that is coming.

There is an excellent review of the book in the March Sojourners magazine. The author says "In this honest, searching, and ultimately uplifting book, Bakker pulls doubt out of the shadows where many believers wrestle with it on their own and instead presents it as a reality that Christian communities can and should address together."

Let the nay-sayers fuss and fume about potential heresies they hear coming out of Bakker's mouth. I for one will read him for what he is--a preacher who is willing to step out and testify about a sustaining faith that is changing, growing, and evolving. He says, "I've found peace thinking that faith is bigger than I used to allow it to be. I've found peace in the mystery, peace as the black and white fade into gray."

Jay Bakker is the author of two other books: Son of a Preacher Man: My Search for Grace in the Shadows and Fall to Grace: A Revolution of God, Self & Society. There is also a documentary about him: One Punk Under God. I watched it on Netflix.

His website is: jaybakker.com

The review in the March Sojourner's magazine: http://sojo.net/magazine/2013/03/unce...

You might also want to check out my posting about Lillian Daniel's recent book, When Spiritual But Not Religious is not Enough. Or, you will probably also be interested in Rob Bell's book, Love Wins.
Profile Image for Amy Miller.
5 reviews
June 20, 2013
I am finding this book to be a revelation, a confirmation of things felt in my soul for years. Jay doesn't mince words when addressing issues that have been driving and dividing Christians for years. We grew up in the sane type of environment and are almost identically conflicted, so he speaks directly to me at times. However, his insight into how (outside of the faith) others may have perceived Christianity helps me also.

The overall message is that doubt is ok. I have never heard such a radical thought from my camp. Ha! I may still be conflicted and still have problems extending grace to sonetes graceless people, but this book reminds us to do it and why.

Read it, very thought provoking.
Profile Image for Sarah .
127 reviews4 followers
May 19, 2013
I've attended Revolution NYC sporadically for four years and have nothing but support and good will for Jay, especially as he has recently transplanted himself to Minneapolis, where he is birthing a similar church community there. While many of the "lines" he addresses are ones I crossed myself long ago, I think this book can be particularly helpful for those currently asking similar questions in regards to faith and doubt. In addition, I applaud and couldn't be more proud of his outspoken, unapologetic stance on demanding full inclusion and equality for LGBTQ persons within the church. Keep at it Jay!
Profile Image for Chloé Meyer.
22 reviews2 followers
June 4, 2016
Such an interesting perspective. I have another book of his but it was much more Christian oriented, whereas this one was from that perspective but much more about broadening the understanding and the scope of Christianity. Especially coming from the background he came from. I loved the humor and the honesty and authenticity he showcased in this book. He was very direct about his support of people, especially in the LGBTQ community, which I think is a really important topic to be direct about when it comes to countering conservative norms in a religious community. A very worth-while read. More Christian oriented than most of my reads.
Profile Image for Candice.
130 reviews
May 23, 2014
I'm a big Jay Bakker fan and listen to his weekly sermons via podcast. Much of the ideas in this book he's already preached from the pulpit, but it's nice to have them in written form, so that I can refer to them again, make notes, etc. The last 2 chapters of the book that discuss death & grief, hope & doubt, faith & belief resonated most with me. "My faith has become the life partner of my doubt, and I love how cute they are together." (We read this book as a home group; it's a great book for group discussion.)
Profile Image for Sarah Rice.
64 reviews9 followers
January 12, 2017
definitely worth a read and definitely better than his last book (Fall to Grace, which was kinda ho-hum). Like McLaren, Butler Bass, and Bell, this book is so hopeful and forward thinking. I'm so glad there are people out there like Bakker (et al) that help counter the destructiveness and false humility (phony openness and/or poorly masked arrogance??) of evangelicalism and macho-christian bullshit.

Profile Image for Brent.
94 reviews1 follower
December 30, 2014
If you've grown up being taught that Christianity has all the right answers, and those answers look like they belong to evangelical Americans, this book will force you to see that God does not fit that stereotype. If you have been taught apologetics to defend your God, this book will convince you that God does not need defending. If you have never been free to doubt the limitations of the God you were taught, this book will free to find a bigger God then you ever imagined.
Profile Image for Matt.
13 reviews2 followers
March 15, 2013
i really enjoyed the book and its overall message. many things ive thought of myself, many things i hadnt yet. it did feel like the book got quite repetative around the 2/3 mark, but maybe some people need the message to hit them over the head more strongly than i do. overall great read, i reccomend it to anyone whos not afraid to challenge pervading dogma
6 reviews1 follower
March 13, 2013
This is an interesting overview of a progressive Christianity that is being reflected on by many from an Evangelical heritage. Jay espouses these ideas in a frank conversational manner. I believe he makes some good points. I have been turned on to once again read some Paul Tillich and to investigate a few new writers like Peter Rollins.
Profile Image for Melissa Abercrombie.
24 reviews
July 24, 2013
Jay is open, honest and inspiring in a call to embrace and acknowledge our questions and uncertainties. Much of this book is regarding the need to be accepting of the LGBT community. He speaks boldly on the topic. I loved the candor and "aha" moments about every topic this book covered. It did indeed feel like a walk because of the journal-like format.
Profile Image for Michele Herrera.
144 reviews
January 15, 2015
Having met Jay a couple of times, read his first book and knowing that he knows my son, I was curious about where he is, spiritually, these days.. He's obviously in the "emergent church" realm.. some of what he says is troubling.. scribbling notes in the book as I go.

Jay made some very good points here but ultimately, he's gotten sidetracked. :0[
Profile Image for Joanne'.
3 reviews
Read
November 16, 2016
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, until a little past halfway when it turned more into a LGBT lesson than a book on Faith and Doubt in general. I did enjoy the book, even highlighted some passages, so it was definitely worth the money and time to read it. i would recommend, with that disclaimer about how the book turns in the middle....
Profile Image for Andrew.
2 reviews1 follower
March 31, 2013
This book is amazing! Jay tackles questions many are afraid to ask—or even acknowledge. Some may call it heresy, but I call it Christlike to challenge generally accepted opinions. And Jay does so in a thoughtful, honest, and biblically grounded way.
Profile Image for Jessica Brazeal Slaven.
877 reviews23 followers
September 14, 2016
Loved this. It seems that the message that Jay is promoting is much, much closer to the true heart of what Jesus was teaching than the message promoted by modern, conservative, evangelical Christianity in this country. Refreshing and a good reminder.
Profile Image for Cadie Holmes.
406 reviews
January 22, 2017
I put this book off for a while just because theology books are tough for me to read. This one wasn't. I feel like Jay took a lot of concepts that have been painful for me and turned them upside down. Definitely recommend this book. I'm going to have to buy a copy and read it over several times.
Profile Image for Kari Hakkers.
154 reviews14 followers
April 3, 2013
I enjoyed this book! It reinforced the theme of balance for me. I found his approach to be very inviting and open.
Profile Image for Matt Piechocinski.
859 reviews17 followers
March 21, 2013
I really enjoyed this ... especially what I've learned about grace, which has been expressly through Bakker's books. Maybe with a little bit of it, I'll be much more tolerant of people and patient.
Profile Image for Darcon.
41 reviews1 follower
May 2, 2013
Fantastic. Jay is da bomb. I'll be reading this one at least 2 more times.
Profile Image for Lisa Zacks.
Author 2 books1 follower
August 20, 2013
I couldn't stop reading this book! Jay Bakker covers many issues I've questioned for a long time.
Profile Image for El Neo.
213 reviews11 followers
June 11, 2014
This book helps to reaffirm my faith. I'm not a heathen from doubting. It's ACTUALLY possible that you can grow stronger because of it!
Profile Image for Kathryn Witzel.
165 reviews4 followers
March 17, 2014
I love the journey of Faith and Doubt explored by Bakker in this book. The part about grief especially resonates with me. There are no words.
Profile Image for Roger Sigmon.
Author 13 books6 followers
April 17, 2017
A very interesting read. I find that even though in some areas Jay and I could not agree more and others we could not agree less I always walk away from finishing his books asking why do I believe a certain way or not believe another way. Bakker is not afraid to ask questions , especially the hard questions many Pastors and believers hide from or run away from. He is not afraid of what people might say, after all with his last name he will forever be under a microscope. This is the type of book you will read and they stop and reread a sentence or paragraph and ask why did he just say that or is that really how Christians come across? This young man has dealt with tremendous pressure and scandal during his like and instead of turning his back on God and doubted,questioned, and sought to find the answers to who this Jesus is, how did he live, and what did he teach. There are several concepts in these pages that shed a different light on somethings we take for granted,because we have always been taught they were true. I'll avoid spoiler alerts and leave it at that. If you enjoy books that make think and question, then read this one. If you only read books that say exactly how you already feel or believe then you should pass on it.
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