COUNTDOWN: Mid-20th Century North American Crime
BOOK 249 (of 250)
"No Good" and "Lousy" are scribbled on the title page of this book I checked out of the library. I usually look at that as destruction of someone else's property. And all through the book there are notes like "This makes no sense" and "Nope, doesn't work" and "Nonsense" and even more graphic terms. I really wish I'd heeded that first page warning.
HOOK - 1 star: >>>"Not that our small talk that Tuesday evening in April had any important bearing on the matter, but it will do for an overture, and it will help to explain a couple of reactions Nero Wolfe had later"<<BIG PROBLEM!!! Archie, the narrator, is already making excuses! "Not that our small talk...had any important bearing on the matter": it didn't, and the author knows it and knows the reader is going to find out fast. Then, "..but it will do for an overture...": no, I don't want to be told, as a reader, that "it will do" because the author is telling me this is subpar work but I'll have to accept it. I want GOOD work. Then, "...and it will explain a couple of reactions Nero Wolfe had later..": if the author has to tell me that something will explain something later, it probably won't, and it doesn't. Three excuses right there in the opening paragraph, probably written after the end, which itself is completely inexplicable.
PACE - 1 star: About halfway through, this book veers off from its premise and gets bogged down in total nonsense. When Nero plans his big 'reveal' at the end and invites a number of people, we're told such things as so-and-so arrived "a few minutes early" or "right on time" just to up the word count. And by the end of the book, we're reading a different story. I had to force myself to read the last five pages, one page at a time.
PLOT - 1: The premise is good. A cosmetic company has a contest to promote a perfume. The company will compose verses about famous, non-fiction women and whoever identifies all the women gets...(get ready, are you sitting down?) ..$500,000! In 1955! Yea, sure. So Stout gives us a few of the verses and shows how the verses have multiple meanings, leading us on to a path of murder, insinuating that maybe the verses have something to do with the murder. GREAT! If we read the verses, we can solve the murder AND identify the mystery historical woman. Nope, halfway through the book switches rails to corporate politics. Thus, the plot is all nonsense, going nowhere. We get 4 of the first 20 verses, and I think 1 of the last five. BIG PROBLEM: the author couldn't think of any more verses, it's obvious, or just didn't care to bother with them.
CAST - 1: Even Nero and Archie whine about having nothing to do. Their banter is good, as usual, but really, they have NOTHING to do! They may as well not even be in the book. There are five finalists in the contest, but they have nothing to do with the second half of the book. And the corporate people are flat and their motives inexplicable.
ATMOSPHERE - 1: Okay, yes, Nero's brownstone and orchids and beer and knowledge are all here. But these elements are in all of the Stout/Nero books. When Fritz, the cook, prepare's lamb hearts soaked in sour milk with herbs, I sorta vomited a bit. Ugh. If a book turns my stomach in a very bad way (a good way would be an anti-hero doing something despicable, for example) it's gonna get 1 star.
SUMMARY - 1.0. This is not only the weakest of the Nero/Stout books I've read, but it's the worst "who-done-it" I remember reading: I didn't get the motive, the how, nothing. If this were the first Stout/Wolfe book I'd read, I'd never read another. I did like the last line: "He rang for beer". Maybe that's helped readers get through this mess. I recommend this book to absolutely no one...sober. If you must, then grab a six-pack first.