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An Immovable Solitude

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Erik Hash, owner of a shark diving company in South Africa, loses everything in one night--his business, his partner, and his desire to live. The victim of a violent hate crime, he leaves South Africa and takes a job aboard a private yacht to escape.

When his partner reappears after three years, he wonders if there is something left for them to rebuild. But the ocean isn't ready to let go of him quite yet.

262 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 27, 2012

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About the author

S.A. McAuley

27 books244 followers
Sam is a wandering queer romance author who sleeps little and reads a lot. Happiest in a foreign country. Twitchy when not mentally in motion. Her name is Sam, not Sammy, definitely not Samantha. She’s a dark/cynical/jaded person, but hides that darkness well behind her obsession(s) with shiny objects.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 73 reviews
Profile Image for Judith.
724 reviews2,998 followers
December 28, 2017
4.5





There's nothing better than stumbling across a book,taking a chance and really enjoying it.I literally couldn't break myself away from it once I started.This is a new Author for me and I was captivated by her story telling.The setting was beautifully described and her characters,while far from perfect,had me enthralled.





I'm not going to re hash the story.The blurb is short and to the point and told me all I wanted to know in deciding to read it.What I had not expected was the range of emotions I felt while reading it.


Erik and Kerry seem to have the perfect life.Business partners and lovers but a tragic event one night sees Erik's world and everything he held dear....gone.In the aftermath he struggles to understand and make sense of things.Three years later fate plays a cruel trick and feelings that he's been trying to bury resurface.


I saw Kiernan Callaghan, the man I would love for the remainder of my days, whether he chose to spend them with me or not, and I realised I wouldn’t stop fighting for him. For us.(...)


There's heartache,devastation,loss and it definitely isn't pretty at times but there's also love and friendships....some constant,some slowly developed over time.

This isn't a fluffy MM romance with a ton of sex scenes thrown in like a lot of stories.That's not to say it isn't sexy at times,because it is and the sex scenes here were perfectly placed in the story.


Did I really like the two MCs? To be honest no,not all the time.They made mistakes along the way but there was no denying they were meant to be,in my opinion.Some truly memorable supporting characters that made the story stand out.


I would definitely recommend this one.Have tissues,I cried happy and sad tears but I'm so glad I read it.
Profile Image for Baba  .
858 reviews4,032 followers
January 23, 2014
Review completed February 25, 2014. Probably the best three-star book I've ever read. I loved it. And I hated it.

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As much as I want to marginalize the bad to let the beauty shine in all its brilliance, I just can't do that. It wouldn't be fair because I want to stay true to myself. My rating simply reflects my conflicted feelings.

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Barber's Adagio for Strings:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KylMqx...

All around me the ocean swayed gently, the sun shone brightly and the world was falling apart.
I was falling apart.


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Sky lanterns. Letting go of their troubles...
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The two of us were intertwined in ways I didn't know how to unravel, even if I wanted to.


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Adele's Rolling in the Deep
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3...

(…)
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
And you played it
To the beat

(…)
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there
It reminds you of the home we shared


Maybe I can compare the lyrics to a deep, passionate love as well as a deep and searing pain caused by betrayal and despair. The depths of the endless and dark sea, a man or a ship rolling in the waves of the ocean; the sea luring him into its depths. An Immoveable Solitude and Rolling in the Deep form quite a nice symbiosis.

In a nutshell
After having lost his dive shop and the man who meant the world to him, Hash decides to accept Kelle's offer to work as a co-captain on a private yacht. Hash feels betrayed, rejected and misunderstood. He's got a tough time to get over his ex-lover and spends a lot of time out on the sea, far away from South Africa and he tries to lose himself in casual hook-ups. Yet it's not the cure against all the pain, anger and anguish. When they arrive in Fiji's capital, Hash comes face to face with his former lover. Three years ago Kiernan simply vanished without a trace and left Hash groping in the dark. Why did he leave and will they have a second chance at love?


What I loved
The writing is intensely beautiful and I love the author's 'voice'. I think her narrative skill is excellent. Also, I really enjoyed the magnificent setting. The author has a wonderful talent to convey the mystery, the silence and the infinite vastness of the sea in a way that could almost tempt me to go diving myself. And I'm a self-professed non-swimmer. Hash's love for the sea and the sharks could be considered as poetry. I loved Hash (Erik). Despite him being kinda needy, too weak and a hothead to boot I still fell for him. That he looked like a gorgeously hunky, long-haired, blond surfer dude didn't hurt either. Besides, I really liked his soft and vulnerable side and he blushed so nicely. He's able of conveying great empathy, compassion and love for those who are dear to him. I felt the main protagonists communicated best when they had sex and I gotta say the passionate and well-written smexin' was something that could inflame me as well. There were lots of unspoken emotions conveyed through their erotic encounters which can be positive as well as negative.

What I disliked (hate might be too strong of a word)
There was not enough (vocal) dialogue between the MCs and there was clearly too much crying for my taste. Kiernan (Kerry) ruined the book for me. Did I say that I hated disliked him? Did I? He may be unemotional, calm and introverted for all I care, I just wanted him to talk to Hash. Kiernan was a selfish, egotistical and thoughtless bastard and I didn't accept the lame excuse that he was apparently too young. If he'd had any backbone and brains he would have come clean to Hash. I didn't appreciate the strange plot twists, the reasons behind his leaving Hash. WTF? And what the heck was up with that f@cking A divine intervention? What for? Sure, the descriptions felt real; all the pain and anguish ripped through me as if I had been there myself. Still, I can't help and feel manipulated. Should that have made me like Kiernan more? Should I have forgiven him? To this day I do not like him.

Overall An Immoveable Solitude made my heart ache. Numerous times. It ripped me apart and I had to put the pieces back together. I closed the book with many conflicted feelings and to be very honest, I felt quite often as if I should manhandle my Kindle. Regardless, S.A. McAuley is a very gifted and talented author and I'm looking forward to reading more from her.

Recommended read. Yes, I do recommend it because there's a lot to love about it and I hope that the myriad of emotions will sweep you off your feet. On the other hand, chances are the anger, pain, frustration and some inexplicable deeds will choke you and bring a hurtful mess in its wake. It's all about CONFLICTION. Despite my average rating, it's actually the first three-star story that I would read again in a heartbeat because at its core it's a beautiful book.

I should have asked for a shorter chain.


Oh, let's not conjure up any connotations now. Of those I've had too many already.


P.S. Just a fleeting thought…a chain to :)


http://baba.booklikes.com
Profile Image for Vio.
677 reviews
June 12, 2012
Awesome, Fabulous, Stunning, Romantic, everything I could ever want or dream about. There isn't a thing I didn't love about this alluring and emotional journey. It pulled me in every direction possible and ended in the best possible way. So, so, happy......

Just gorgeous, the sound and smell of the sea, the diving and the fascination with those sharks, magnificent creatures are what they are. I am siding with Erik about how mesmerising and powerful the attraction is towards them, unpredictable but exciting. Erik and Kerry are too stubborn to communicate their fears they need to go through hell first before realising what they have is forever. Heartbreaking and so bloody romantic, I was unsettled and teary throughout. A love story that spans over the years, the depth of emotion between them " sobs" is lovely, growing up is a painfully hard process. Deep soul searching and recriminations, the fools would rather bury their heads in the sand instead of digging for the truth. If only they had talked it over "growl" forgiveness does not come easy. Highly Recommended, go read it and cry your heart out as I did, this automatically pushes itself onto my favorites shelf. I wanted to add a quote that was especially beautiful but I decided against it as I didn't want to spoil it for anyone.
Profile Image for Ami.
6,367 reviews484 followers
October 28, 2012
2.5 stars

Here I am, being a party pooper once again, giving the first 2.5-stars review of a book that so far has gotten stellar ones. But since the rating on GR is about whether one likes the story or not, I have to do it. Because the answer to that for me will be, no, I don't like it...

Let me start first with what I do love, okay? The writing is lovely. I also love the setting; there is something majestic when Ms. McAuley describes the great white sharks and the love that Erik has for the deep blue ocean.

Then there's the immaculate places of South Africa, Fiji, Thailand, and a brief mention of my own country, Indonesia. Though, one tiny fact, we, the Indonesians, never call Borneo as "Borneo". It's "Kalimantan" for us. If my opinion is solely for those, this book will get 4-stars.

Unfortunately, for me to like a book, it's not just a matter of setting or writing. Characters and the plot are also important. There are times I even dismiss slightly less stellar writing because I love characters so much. This is where the book fails me.

I love Erik -- I love his passion towards the sea. He comes endearing throughout. It is my dislike over Kerry, my dislike over the reason of Kerry's action, the not enough grovel, not enough testament of the love story, that drags this book down. I don't want to spoil things for those who dislike spoilers. So everything I feel about the issue will be put under spoiler tag.



Dislike over the execution of the love story -- of what I think as a lazy resolution to a complicated plot -- and personal pet peeves alert (baby as terms of endearment, urgh!) ... in general just leaves me seething. It pushes all the wrong buttons for me. Even gorgeous writing and setting cannot save this one for me.

I am tempted to 1.5-star this because I HATE . It happened in my country, it was devastating, and using it to quickly solve what-should've-been complicated love and betrayal plot just doesn't sit well for me. But I do love that other part I mention in the beginning. So I am very sorry, this can only be 2.5-stars book at best due to those issues.

But I am only one person, and it is MY personal issue. Please check the positive reviews as well, all right? Because what upsets me might not even a blip of issue for everyone else.

Edited-to-add: Decided to give extra 0.5 stars because the writing is indeed lovely, and better than other so-so stories I have rated. In fact, the writing makes the author enters my radar, and I will probably check out Ms. McAuley's books in the future.
Profile Image for ~ Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ & semicolons ~.
3,765 reviews1,356 followers
February 25, 2014
3 totally arbitrary, still-reeling-from-this stars



DEVASTATING AND RAW

Objective rating based on literary merit: 4+

Subjective rating based on my emotional state during and after reading: 2

This is a nearly impossible book to get through without rage and frustration. Both MCs, but particularly Kerry, are self-destructive. Kerry is also selfish and immature. I was waiting for some huge epiphany, which would justify his actions to me, but I didn't find it. The choices Kerry made weren't logical, and his fears weren't ENOUGH for the hell he put Erik through, when he simply could have TALKED to his lover and partner of three years.

I was so fucking furious with Kerry, I could barely stand to see him on the page.



I finally understood that it didn't matter if I forgave him, because Erik forgave him, even taking on blame that he shouldn't have upon his shoulders. Erik's love for Kerry knows no bounds, and I wanted Erik to be happy.

McAuley writes beautifully. Her Someday It Will Be was astonishing and left me shaking, but it also gave me HOPE. This one didn't. There was just so much grief in the pages: loss and pain on a continuous loop. The MCs are apart for years and apart AGAIN after a brief reunion. There is a big, gaping hole that's Kerry's life during his absence.

There is a gorgeous epilogue (with a HEA), but it was too little, too late for me. I don't know how to rate a book like this. A brilliant book makes you feel, and this one did; there's even redemption. But I still couldn't accept the ugliness.

Don't let this review put you off, though. Maybe this is a book that should be read to appreciate the grand tragedy of life.
Profile Image for T.J..
Author 77 books66.9k followers
September 29, 2012
Spoilers.

First things first, a disclosure if you will. I know the author personally. She is a friend of mine.

However, on the flip side of that, just because someone is a friend of mine doesn't mean I let that color my ratings/review of books. I have read things by people that I consider friends and have not been a fan of the work. It's just the way these things go. And, as you can all attest for those that follow me here, I rarely write reviews for books, and typically will only do so when one has captured my attention for both good and/or bad reasons. And, when I attach my name to a review, it means I feel strongly about it for one reason or another.

So, we cool?

Now, is Solitude a perfect book? No. For those that have read the blurb, you can see an even occurs in which one of the MC's, Kerry, leaves his partner, Erik, out of no where following a devastating event that changes and destroys many lives. The last 75% of this book is not so much the hows, the reunion, the reconnection, but the why Kerry would make the decision to leave in the first place.

Did the author succeed in making believe the reason, that really, the whole book hinges upon?

Yes, for the most part.

You see, there are times in our lives when events occur outside our control and while other's may think we are acting selfishly, we are actually acting in the best interests of others, which, for all intents and purposes, is what Kerry did. However, part of me, albeit a small part, still wondered about Kerry and if his act was completely selfless as we meant (possibly?) to believe. For the longest time, I did not like him as a character; I thought him weak and the type to run when things got even a little rough.

My opinion of him did change, at least for the most part. Whether or not you like this book will depend largely if you can believe Kerry and justify his reasons for yourself. I did believe him, and think that on subsequent re-reads (of which I can tell there will be a few), I'll come to appreciate him more.

But for me, the best part of the book, hands down, was the writing. Take this for example:

I felt the surge of the ocean in my body as I walked, as if the land beneath me was rippling. It used to take me three days after an extended time at sea to regain my land legs, but I hadn't been on shore long enough in years to test that theory. I didn't enjoy being in the city and I found myself moving faster to finish my shopping list and return to the ship.

I felt trapped on land, limited, frustrated by the ability to only move forwards or back. In the ocean, none of those limitations existed.


Good writing makes me smile. Great writing gives me goosebumps. This gave me goosebumps.

As did much of the prose throughout the book. McAuley has a sparse writing style that is so evocative in it's imagery that I can't help but be jealous of her writing prowess.

And of course, for HEA fans, yes, there is one, and it's believable, even if there are times in the story when you don't think there will be one.

So remember this: yes, this author is a friend of mine. Yes, I know some will think my review then is biased. That's okay. Read the book and judge for yourselves because in my opinion, McAuley is going to be an author to watch.

One of my favorite m/m books this year.

TJ
Profile Image for Simsala.
524 reviews58 followers
October 27, 2012
Sometimes love is not enough....or is it?

Darn book made me blush...for jumping to conclusions like the characters did. So how could I blame them for being infuriatingly stubborn, hurt without trying to find out the truth, making the wrong decisions because of being young and immature, not being able to ask how the other feels or thinks? I couldn`t...

A stunning, sometimes sad and almost quiet romance, a bumpy journey to happiness with surprising depth - multilayered main-characters who felt very real, great dialogue, vivid settings that came alive before my eyes - movie in the head! (How the author described the allure of the Great Whites made goosebumps...). A colorful set of secondary characters I came to like - multilayered as the MC`s and not one of them superfluous.
An easily flowing, very well written and gripping story where nothing was as it seemed at first glance, shivery-good love-scenes (no, not sex scenes - wouldn`t do them justice)) that perfectly fit into the story, a blinking-tears-away HEA (readers will need that lifeline!)...and I fell in love.

I won`t go into the story here, the risk of giving away spoilers is too high and I think everyone should experience this beautiful I-want-to-hug-it-book for themselves.
Highly recommended!
Profile Image for Lenore.
708 reviews376 followers
October 30, 2012
I should have asked for a shorter chain.

This book.

This book broke my heart, and it kept breaking it into ever smaller pieces until the end. Because of Kerry.

This book made my bruised heart jolt against my chest like a scared bird crashing into a cold window pane. Because of Erik.

This book made my battered heart lodge right up into my throat and then drop into my stomach with an audible thud. Because of Kelle.

This book made me want to scream until my throat went raw. Because of Erik and Kerry.

This book is far from perfect and I had problems with it on more than one level. .

But, all the same, this book will stay with me in all its flawed, painful beauty.
Profile Image for BevS.
2,902 reviews2 followers
April 1, 2013
Well, where do I start??? I suppose , and then might be a suitable place. This is a absolutely stunning book, and if I could give it 10 stars, I would!

This book is about sharks ...(yes, not a shark I know, but the teeth were fierce!), two men Erik and Kerry, who seem to have a beautiful and loving relationship, until one fateful night when it implodes with horrific results, Kerry's bossy and frosty sister Kelle, and the secrets that people mistakenly keep to themselves....what's the saying 'A trouble shared is a trouble halved'....Kerry you should have known better!!

I'm not going to go into great detail over the review either, all I can say is, read my 'Bear on Books' friend Tom (TA) Webb's review...as usual, he's done a superb job, and hasn't given me a duff recommendation yet...and that's in addition to writing brilliant books himself!!

This book is moving, amazing and beautifully crafted, BUT I also have to say that although Kerry was hot in the extreme, he was also very immature and selfish. I was not particularly drawn to his character at all, in fact he could have done with a good spanking, for what he needlessly put Erik through....not impressed with him at all!
Profile Image for SueC.
112 reviews
February 4, 2014
4.5 stars.

Let me get this out of my system: I am in love with S.A. McAuley.

My first experience with McAuley’s writing was with One Breath, One Bullet and I really enjoyed that. Then I read Someday It Will Be, and I thought that was absolutely amazing, and now I’ve fallen in love with An Immovable Solitude.

More specifically, I’ve fallen in love with Erik, South Africa and sharks. It’s that simple; it’s strange, but it’s true.

An Immovable Solitude is written in Erik’s first person POV with an almost “Dear Diary” feel to it and an undoubtedly honest narrative voice. Dark and somber in spells, achingly loving and reverent in others. In typical McAuley fashion, there’s achingly poetic prose that creates the feeling of completely immersible 3D worlds; it’s true – I felt consumed by it, so drawn into the story that it felt like I was experiencing their circumstances.

There’s just enough time spent introducing the story and it’s characters. It’s not heavy handed in terms of setting the scene – just enough to become attached to the characters before we’re taken through their highs and lows. The beauty (and the reason I held onto and loved this story) is in the way McAuley delivers the love Erik and Kerry share – especially when seen through Erik’s eyes. There were a few points which I found hard to accept; for example: how much hurt can one person tolerate? How easily can someone be forgiven? How far can love take you before you can’t go any further? These are all considerations Erik and Kerry wade through, and it’s fairly hard to read as they live and breath their love for eachother… and yet manage to tear each other part at the same time, alongside the unexpected plot twists.

I reiterate: I’ve fallen in love with S.A. McAuley’s writing, Erik, South Africa, the ocean and sharks.
description
Profile Image for Isabel.
562 reviews107 followers
February 19, 2014
Before I start speaking about this fabulous book, I have to say that this is my first S.A. McAuley book, and that I fell in love with her writing! It's amazing and I will read more of her books, for sure!

An Immoveable Solitude is an unforgetable book to me! The story is so captivating that I saw myself completely entangled in Erik and Kerry's life!

I have to say that I have some conflicted feelings about Kerry, and the fact that he was a very young man, could justify his fear and his consequent behavior... But it is very hard to forgive him for how much he hurt Erik! Nevertheless, their love is so strong, that you start to believe that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres!

Erik wasn't perfect, but what he endure for three years, without knowing why the love of his life left him, and without ever stop loving Kerry, is fascinating!

Kelle was a beautiful surprise for me... Despite their differences, she was Erik's support and she didn't deserve what happened to her... to her and to thousands! It was cruel and so sad...

"I can't run away from you anymore"



Destiny always brought Erik and Kerry together as if no one, nothing, was strong enough to separate them, not even themselves!

"You're in my bones, Erik. In my blood. I want to celebrate that, revel in it. We keep finding our way back to each other for a reason. It's not a question of if I want you, because that's already been settled."



The book ended in a magnificent way, and I was happy that they finally found peace and happiness, in the place that they belonged, with the people that they loved!





Profile Image for Trisha Harrington.
Author 3 books145 followers
October 31, 2012
1.5 stars, I hated this book. I never want to read it again!

This book was not a favourite of mine to be honest. It is a highly recommended book and has been described as beautiful. I would not be able to describe this book as beautiful. When I started it, I believed that I would love it. But as I read it I found myself frustrated and annoyed at the characters.






This book reminded me of a yo-yo. It just kept going back and forward and back and forward. Definitely not one of my favourite books ever. Although I will admit the book was very well written. It also had so much potential to break my heart.

When I read most of the reviews I wonder am I one of very few who do not love this book. All I can say is try it for yourself you might enjoy this book. I however will never read it again. :)
Profile Image for Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~.
2,280 reviews257 followers
December 20, 2013
This was such a beautifully written, moving book. It's hard to discuss without being spoilery, but if you have read the blurb you know the basics of the story. Kerry and Erik (aka Hash) have been a couple and business partners for several years before one night changes everything.

The story that follows deals with Erik still wondering where he went wrong, why Kerry did what he did and whether Erik can ever pull himself together and really live his life again. Three years later, Erik is working with Kerry's sister Kelle on a private yacht, when Kerry shows up again and everything Erik thought he knew about the events preceding Kerry's running away and the three years following, changes. Erik has to look deep inside himself and wonder if forgiveness is in the cards, not just for Kerry, but for others around him that kept secrets as well.

I have to say that I did not like Kerry. In my opinion he acted selfishly and in a manner that was guaranteed to destroy Erik and hurt others in his wake, and he never quite redeemed himself in my eyes. Regardless of my dislike for Kerry, I loved this book. It was an emotional journey, with a beautiful setting. The writing was so descriptive and the book felt real. I cannot wait to read more of S.A. McAuley's books.
Profile Image for AnnaLund.
271 reviews
October 28, 2012
It's taken me the best part of a week to digest this book. It had me hard in its grip from the get-go, and it just NEVER let go. I'm still on a high from it, and can't seem to start a new book, because I still think about these characters daily. Uncanny. I'm still reeling with all the emotions.

I bought it over a month ago, but it's been patiently waiting in my TBR pile. Woe is me, I had no idea what I had pushed into that corner of semi-life—had I known I would have read it the same day I got it. Oh well, goes to show you just NEVER know.

It started out softly enough, having caught my interest seeing it was about a South African shark-diving tourism outfitter. It is truly refreshing to see stories that are not happening in Seattle. (Nothing against Seattle, people, I just like to think there's more to the world and other places to do it in TOO). So, picking it up and starting to read, and WHAM! Before I knew it I was halfway through. Just unbelievably good writing, beautiful scenery, back-drops, and a social message I can really get behind. Everything is in it. Everything. Steamy romance, hard and harsh heartbreak, travel, nature, idiots and cool people. The works.

Here are some excerpts—as per my usual MO

For the loving feeling:

"I waited until his heartbeat slowed and his breathing fell in a long, quiet pattern before kissing the base of his neck and whispering an I love you that was too frightening to be anything but the truth."

Or for the über-sensual:

"My breath caught in my throat as he stretched, muscles rippling, soft skin stretching over ever lean muscle, the feel of him still echoing in my fingertips."

For the agony, I give you:

"I had to be splintering in half."

Or how about:

"This was going to be the moment where I shattered into cleanly split pieces that no one would ever have the patience to put back together."

Heartbreak extraordinaire.

I stop here, because iif I truly start copying all the phrases that spoke straight to my heart, I will copy the whole darn book. Yes, it is that good. Absolutely beautiful. And please remember I'm a fluff girl, so if I am happy... LOL

Good read, good feelings, completely in love with this story. NOW I remember why I read books. They take me places I've never been, and show me emotions I cannot experience personally.

I love reading. And I loved reading this book, especially. Thank you, S.A McAuley for this story. It spoke straight into my heart.


***
I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone, I paid for it with my own money, as I do for all the books I read, all the music I listen to and the movies I watch
Profile Image for Jess Candela.
624 reviews37 followers
June 5, 2012
This book is out today, and I highly recommend it: it's one of the best books I've read this year. Since this is October, and I read a lot, that's really saying something! Especially since I beta'ed it, so it's presumably even better than when I read it. Sam has said she incorporated many of my suggestions, so how could it not be better? ;) And seriously, it was a breath-taking book to begin with.

The characters are awesome and believable. The setting is unusual and fascinating. Sam has a way of painting images with words that made me feel as if I were right there, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling what the characters were. There were times I loved them, times I wanted to smack them, but always, always, I was right there with them.

This is not a light book, to be read casually. There were times I laughed out loud, times I cried, riding this amazing journey with these incredible characters. This is a book for which you buckle in, knowing you're in for a helluva ride. It's intense and exciting and left me feeling simultaneously wrung out and exhilarated. In the months since I last read it, I've found myself at times thinking about the characters, wondering what they're up to and how they're doing. Only the best books that stay with me like that.

Between this and a short story that is yet-to-be-released, Sam is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors. She can write, and I wish she'd do so faster because I'm eager to read more of her work.
Profile Image for Sunne.
Author 4 books26 followers
October 29, 2012
What a train wreck - I'm going to finish the book but only because I can't stand ending at their momentary situation. I defintely need a very very good HEA to make me at least be content again. This is not what I expected after all the glowing reviews.

I don't feel the love, I hate Kerry for leaving. I wanted to scream at him.


So - I have finished it. For me it's 1,5 stars.

The writing was good but I never got any connection to the MCs. And I really really dislike Kerry.

Nope - I don't get it. I don't think it's a great love story.


Profile Image for R.J..
Author 334 books2,747 followers
October 28, 2012
Utterly beautiful...

Never more so has a cover matched a book... The cover is all quiet beauty and the book matches. Told in first person we live for some time in the head of Erik Hash and see from his perspective the terrible loss he endured and how he deals with it. A hate crime, a murder, fire and his lover leaving it's a wonder he manages to pull himself out of it.

I didn't realise what time the book was set in, and although contemporary, the ending of it is wrapped in an event that I remember clearly.

I have a love hate relationship with first person writing only because I want to see inside the head of the other character but I truly believe this would have been less of a book to take one single second away from what is happening in Erik's head.

This isn't a book that rolls from one angsty moment to a next, it's more of a solid thoughtful journey and cleverly written.

Beautifully done and recommended if you like books that play on your emotions and wont let you go.
Profile Image for Eva.
363 reviews178 followers
February 24, 2014
An easily flowing, very well written and gripping story where nothing was as it seemed at first glance...

about beautiful sharks...



betrayal...



revelation...



and unconditional love...



A stunning, sometimes unbelievable romance, a bumpy journey to happiness with surprising depth - amazing real MCs, great dialogues, beautiful settings that came alive before your eyes.

Recommended read
Profile Image for Feliz.
Author 57 books107 followers
October 27, 2012
4.75

I read this book on the recommendation of some friends who praised it to high heavens. During the first few pages, it read somewhat slow if pleasantly enough, and I couldn’t help wondering what all the fuss was about. But then, bam, disaster hit, and I was hooked. Erik’s and Kerry’s winding, rocky road back to themselves and back to each other held me captive, not lastly because of Erik’s 1st person POV narrative voice. Internal and outward conflict, raw emotion, love, hate, despair and joy, all came vividly clear on the pages, always underlaid by Erik’s passion for his South African home, the sea and the creatures he feels so connected with, the great white sharks.

I was equally impressed with the colorful, lifelike descriptions of locations and events in this book. The words took me right there into the shark cage, to the Suva market, to Van Dyks Bay and its hinterland and all the various places where the story is set.

But the romance was really the most important thing about this story. Even though I didn’t particularly like Kerry, and even if he acted foolish and immature, I could relate to him and forgive him in the end. I rooted for him and Erik to overcome their fears and doubts and find their hard-won happiness together.

Some minor problems came up too, unanswered questions for which I’d have liked clarification, for example why Kelle decided to stay with her brother instead of simply going on with her own life in the first place. At times, this read as if chunks of information were missing (perhaps edited out, or so it seemed). Notable niggles, but not enough to considerably mar the reading experience.

If you mind angst in your reading, this book certainly isn’t for you. For all others, I’d recommend it as an intense, captivating pleasure trip.

read the full review at www.reviewsbyjessewave.com
Profile Image for S E. Jakes.
Author 33 books1,744 followers
February 1, 2013
This book was beautiful. I didn't like Kerry at first - I was really pissed at him but as the story progressed, I really understood him. But Hash is a good narrator -- and it's not an easy book, but very worth it. Much of what happened was unexpected, but all of it showcased the power of loving someone, and how if something is meant to be, it will find a way. (trying not to give any spoilers at all :)
Profile Image for Barb Gilmour.
155 reviews13 followers
October 30, 2012
This book was amazing! A South African diver and his Irish lover, running their own Shark Dive business in South Africa - how many books within this genre have that as a setting for their story? Not many, right? Not that I am complaining about all the MC's that are cops, firemen, teachers, night club owners etc but as a girl from Southern Africa married to a boy from Northern Ireland - the minute I read a little of the blurb I had to stop any reading plans and pick this book up (incredible, huh? you know me and my concrete plans!).... although the similarity ends there - neither of us have in fact dived with sharks :)

The story starts in South Africa with Hash and his Irish lover, Kerry, having been together for 3 years, running their Shark Dive Tours as business partners, and employing Kerry's older sister Kelly. They are known as the Irish Twins, despite the 10 month age difference. Kelly and Hash don't really get on well - she isn't entirely comfortable with his relationship with her younger brother, feeling that Hash pressured Kerry to come out before he was ready to. Kerry was 19 when he met Hash, who is 5 years his senior. Hash just had to have Kerry - from the minute he first saw him, he was smitten. And 3 years on his feelings have not diminished. He loves Kerry wholeheartedly. But life as an openly gay man in South Africa isn't easy - or maybe it is more Kerry struggling with it himself. Did Hash rush him? Was he too forceful and quick to declare his love? To share his business? Was it too much pressure for the young Kerry? No two people ever walk the same path - even though the destination may be the same.

Birthday parties... times of revelry! When you celebrate with loved ones - you think back on the year gone by and look forward to the new one coming, and many more as well. Dreams. Plans. Hopes. Hash had no idea what would follow after that wonderful night, but everything went to pot. Having lost it all he decides to escape, seeking solace from a life on the ocean - random hook ups with business men in hotels, or students in hostels - talk about ports in a storm ;) Then 3 years later he runs into the love of his life again. Kerry. The man who had disappeared, seemingly leaving everything and everyone behind. There were times I wanted to reach in and whack Kerry over the head - youth can only be an excuse for so much. But I am such a sucker for the redeemable character. Everytime it is the heartbreaker that hooks me! And there are such beautiful lines and passages in this book - the note regarding the chain "needing to have been shorter" was just beautiful. Well, my interpretation was anyway :-) and the subsequent additions to the shark tooth gift were just so sweet. Intriguing, right? You'll need to read the book !!

After 3 years of heartbreak - not only losing your lover but also your livelihood - would you be quick to forgive? Assuming of course forgiveness is in fact asked for. And again I wanted to slap some sense into the young Paddy! I will warn you that there is a fair bit of angst - but it worked. It didn't read as being just for the sake of it - it read as being true to life, how you would react if you had to deal with all that crap (for want of a better word :) ) I know as reviews go, this one doesn't give much away - but I just don't want to spoil anything, and there is so much that could be spoiled. Things that you, the reader, need to discover - page after heart rending page - suffice it to say that I read until 3am. That speaks volumes!

There is so much in this story that resonates with me on such a deep level, but I have been able to separate my strong personal connection (with a lot that happens in the book) and feel that my utter enjoyment in the telling of a beautiful story stands solidly on its own. It is a lush and lovely romance story - with a healthy dollop of angst, and good serve of smexy on the side ;) I highly recommend this book. Go. Buy the Book!
Profile Image for Laxmama .
622 reviews
June 27, 2019
3.5 STARS I don’t know on this one, first I loved the beginning, this started great but for me it just turned, i didn’t like the writing in the second half or the sadness - yet I really enjoy this author
615 reviews
October 28, 2012
NOTE SPOILERS SPOILERS GALLORE.


So this book came highly recommended from several friends of mine and let me just be upfront, I get why they loved the book, I really do. The writing is beautiful, in places breathtaking - the setting truly comes alive. I loved the *words* in this book, just not the plot and especially not the characters. Let me also be upfront and say that I hated one of the characters with the passion, but this is not the only reason why this book gets two stars (but for beautiful writing it would have been one star).

Kerry's actions made absolutely no sense to me. I mean, it made sense to me how he screwed Eric over and hurt him to the point the man was devastated and authorial heavy handed manipulation tried to make Kerry a sympathetic man, but why he did it in the beginning, I am still not sure. I mean, I hear what he was saying, but it is like the author needed him to leave and he chose the action that to me made the least sense possible, or none at all.

But OMG their so called confrontation after Kerry was back killed me, just killed me. Here poor devastated Erik who loved this asshole for three years finally lets him have it and shows how much pain he delivered.

Here I am thinking, oh maybe now some groveling be involved. Alas, no, instead we are now being manipulated, because oh noes, now Kerry gets to be in pain and Erik to calm him down, because hey he has this nightmare upon him now.

That did not work for me, at all. I was hugely dissatisfied that Kerry's actions and lack of responsibility were not dealt with.

And just do not get me started on the ending.

Despite beautiful writing I doubt I will ever pick up anything by this writer ever again. Nothing against the writer, I just have no desire to read something as emotionally dissatisfying ever again, but nothing against her right to treat her characters as she sees fit.

This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Snowtulip.
1,076 reviews
September 30, 2012
Wow, what an emotional rollercoaster...there was so much emotion in this book. I picked it up because of the beautiful cover and am so glad, this book touched me deeply. Definately not for everyone, but it was beautiful in so many ways.
Profile Image for Lily.
1,172 reviews11 followers
October 29, 2012
3.7 stars. In my opinion, this is certainly a highly emotional story, with unpredictable twists in the plot development, lovely depictions of scenery and its metaphorical use (including the sharks...) and a variety of multi-dimensional characters. Nevertheless, I feel the need to voice some uncomfortable thoughts about Kerry in general and how the issues between him and Erik were addressed in particular. Since I do not want to unintentionally give away unwanted information, I will just put everything under the tag.



Note 30.10 - After reading Ami's review, I have realised there is an epilogue, which had not been included in my ebook's table of contents and I unknowingly skipped it... To be fair, in this 'five years later' chapter a quick reference is made to Erik and Kerry talking about the past and overcoming mistrust etc. Yet, compared to the magnitude of the issues involved, there was little substance to that communication/healing process and I was still left unconvinced.
Profile Image for Ely.
321 reviews
June 7, 2012
This story was beautiful and haunting. Absolutely loved it. I cried and felt an ache in my heart reading through Erik's pov because I felt he was telling me the story. I didn't read this as a work of fiction, but a narrative from a a beautifully damaged soul, one in which all of his imperfections make him who he is.
Profile Image for Sagajo.
99 reviews20 followers
October 29, 2012
A crappy story, written beautifully.
Profile Image for Serena Yates.
Author 105 books772 followers
January 17, 2014
Stunning, fascinatingly detailed, beautifully written, and heart-wrenchingly emotional are all words I would use to describe this book. It took me on a true roller coaster of ups and downs as I followed Erik's life story. The loss and suffering he had to endure, the events that would have pushed any normal person into permanent depression, and his irrepressible need to survive it all had me spellbound. Add to that the amazing setting and his unusual profession of shark diver, and I have to say this is one of the most unusual, tension-filled, yet ultimately uplifting books I have read in a while.

My interest in this book started when I read the blurb and discovered the unusual setting. The idea of Erik losing his entire life, including his lover, only to discover years later than Kerry is still alive had me deciding I would read it despite the slight fear it would be utterly depressing. And boy, did the author hold me in suspense. The events dragged me along, the characters fascinated and infuriated me in equal measure, and the tension was almost unbearable in places. So much so that I was tempted to skip ahead and read the ending first. I hate myself when I do that, but let me tell you, with this book it was a close call!

If you like tension-filled stories with lots of angst and drama, if you want to experience what it's like to have your heart ripped out then put back together again, and if you think you're up to following these characters into hell and back, then you will probably like this book as much as I did. What a ride!
Profile Image for Danielle  Gypsy Soul.
3,192 reviews86 followers
December 13, 2018
2.5 Stars. I had huge problems with the characters in this book. I just didn't buy Kerry's reason for leaving or the way that he did it or definitely the timing of it. I also don't understand how he could do what he did to his sister. His justification just didn't work for me. I also HATE when a character seriously wrongs another and then their is no groveling or really time for the person to get over it. In this book a Tsunami comes along and Erik then realizes that he loves and forgives Kerry because he almost looses him. It's a cop out to me and a plot device I hate. Instead of Kerry working to earn Erik's forgiveness we have a natural disaster. So no this one just didn't work for me.
Profile Image for Ery.
322 reviews2 followers
October 28, 2012
Style/prose = 5+ stars, storyline = 3, ave. =4
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