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Jane Austen's Guide to Good Manners: Compliments, Charades & Horrible Blunders
Jane Austen's Guide to Good Manners is a light-hearted, insightful handbook written as if intended for her original Regency Era readers, and illustrated throughout with beautiful watercolors. When Anna, Jane Austen's young niece, sent her a novel for ""literary comment," Jane loved everything about it, except its utter disregard for the manners of the day. The resulting and tender correspondence between the two serves as the foundation for this instructional book. Etiquette and social behavior of the early 1800s come to life in lovely chapters teaching one on how to pay and return formal "calls," how to properly refuse a proposal of marriage, who should lead off the dancing at a country-house ball, and what to wear for a morning walk. Jane Austen used these daily customs and niceties to brilliantly illuminate the cloistered world of high society women in her timeless novels. Now with this delightful handbook of correct social behavior, readers will learn just why Mrs. Bennet of Pride and Prejudice couldn't call alone on her new, rich, bachelor neighbor and had to force the reluctant Mr. Bennet to do so...even as he uttered "Tis an etiquette I despise." An indispensable gift for any Austen fan, this beautiful book will prove irresistible to anyone wishing to go back in time to the atmosphere of their favorite Austen novels. Henrietta Webb is the co-creator of Bad Hair. Josephine Ross has written a number of books including, most recently, Jane A Companion, published in England by Austen's original publisher John Murray.
144 pages, Hardcover
First published October 2, 2006
27 people are currently reading
1567 people want to read
About the author
Josephine Ross
33 books7 followersAs a finalist in Vogue talent contest, Ross won a job on Vogue and joined the magazine after graduating from London University.
She left the magazine two years later to write full time, and her publications include a biography of The Winter Queen (1979) and Beaton in Vogue (1986).
She is married to medieval historian and writer James Chambers; and her interests include history and fencing. She lives in London.
She left the magazine two years later to write full time, and her publications include a biography of The Winter Queen (1979) and Beaton in Vogue (1986).
She is married to medieval historian and writer James Chambers; and her interests include history and fencing. She lives in London.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews
September 19, 2021
A lovely melding of a guide to Regency life and manners with Jane Austen's life and her writings. Illustrated with lovely whimsical color sketches and brought into a gift-worthy volume, this guide takes us through the importance of manners in the Regency period and each chapter addresses subjects with lists of rules for the manners expected for each of those subjects from addressing an acquaintance on the street to handling oneself at a funeral or with the servants.
Most of what was covered was not new information to me as I love reading books on Regency life, but there were a few mannerisms that were new territory. I liked how the author chose to illustrate these rules from Jane Austen's own letters and also among the characters of her novels so their behavior took on more significance for me. Perhaps there was a little reading into matters, but not outrageously so.
Again, it was delightful- and yes, it was a flat out pretty book for the shelf. It will not due for a resource since it is a slim and abbreviated piece, but it is a lovely book to sit and page through leisurely.
Most of what was covered was not new information to me as I love reading books on Regency life, but there were a few mannerisms that were new territory. I liked how the author chose to illustrate these rules from Jane Austen's own letters and also among the characters of her novels so their behavior took on more significance for me. Perhaps there was a little reading into matters, but not outrageously so.
Again, it was delightful- and yes, it was a flat out pretty book for the shelf. It will not due for a resource since it is a slim and abbreviated piece, but it is a lovely book to sit and page through leisurely.
March 29, 2008
Please don't tell my mom that I'm actually reading about etiquette. I especially don't want her to know how much I'm enjoying it. It's so much more pleasant to aspire to good manners at the insistance of one's own inclination rather than to be cajoled into it.
This elegant little book uses the subject of manners and good behavior as the fabric upon which threads of example from Jane Austen's life and writings are embroidered. It is illustrated with adorable watercolor sketches, and includes a tiny ribbon bookmark. Delightful!
I already feel less a tomboy. Pardon me, I must go embroider a hankie now.
This elegant little book uses the subject of manners and good behavior as the fabric upon which threads of example from Jane Austen's life and writings are embroidered. It is illustrated with adorable watercolor sketches, and includes a tiny ribbon bookmark. Delightful!
I already feel less a tomboy. Pardon me, I must go embroider a hankie now.
March 26, 2020
I actually did learn from this, and I think that I'll understand more of the subtext in Jane Austen's books.
July 11, 2019
A nice little primer on Regency-era etiquette, if a little dogmatic at times.
February 27, 2018
This is a delightful little book on the guide to good manners using snippets from letters Jane Austen has written along with examples from her novels. I found it entertaining and enlightening. There are eight chapters on various subjects that would be useful not only to authors wishing to write austenesque style books but to readers to understand the etiquette of the times.
1. Manners Makyth Man - and Woman
2. The Forms of Introduction
3. Calling and Conversation
4. Dancing and Dining
5. Dress and Taste
6. The Subject of Matrimony
7. The Family Circle
8. The Assistance of Servants
"Throughout the Authoress's works, the subject of Manners, whether good or bad, is a constant underlying theme. Compliments are paid, charades revealed; horrible blunders perpetrated. Whatever changes the passing years bring, it is to be hoped that the role of Manners as an integral component of both life and literature will never cease to be of interest to the world at large." (quote from the book ---Authoress refers to Jane Austen)
There are beautiful coloured illustrations by Henrietta Webb that enhances each of the chapters.
I highly recommend this book.
November 30, 2014
Slightly weird second-person style, but clearly a labor of love, picking out manners bits from the novels and letters. Not quite as much fun as a visit to The Republic of Pemberley, but ok. The author does have a bad habit of using the word Blunder-w-a-capital-B repetitiously.
June 16, 2019
This is a unique book that shows the reader Jane Austen's real and fiction use of manner. Gleaned from the author's own letters and books it is enjoyable and MUST read for any aspiring P&PFF authors.
August 27, 2009
If you have read Jane Austen, seen Jane Austen movies, you probably know that the manners and social customs they had back then are so very different from ours today. This book is a guide that explains how to have good manners if you ever find yourself in Jane Austen's World. Furthermore, this book could serve as a guide to writing a novel that takes place during regency time. In addition, if you are curious about the customs and social behaviors in Jane Austen's books, this book will help to clarify and explain why such behaviors are acceptable and what is considered a "social blunder."
It is a delightfully pleasing little book that comes with beautiful watercolor illustrations and a ribbon bookmark. The book is divided into chapters with specific topics and includes examples from Jane Austen's books, letters, and advice she gave to her niece, Fanny when she was attempting to write a novel.
Chapters Include:
1. Manners Makyth Man - and Woman
2. The Forms of Introduction
3. Calling and Conversation
4. Dancing and Dining
5. Dress and Taste
6. The Subject of Matrimony
7. The Family Circle
8. The Assistance of Servants
I found this to be an enjoyable and enlightening read. Some things are kind of obvious, like how the eldest daughter is addressed as Miss Bennet and unless she is married or not present, no other sisters can have that title. But other things were very new to me, like rules about servants and that you are supposed to be careful in complimenting the clothing of others. Overall, I recommend this book to anyone who likes the Regency time period, would like to understand Jane Austen's World better, or is interested in writing a novel that takes place during the Regency time period and wants to be historically accurate.
It is a delightfully pleasing little book that comes with beautiful watercolor illustrations and a ribbon bookmark. The book is divided into chapters with specific topics and includes examples from Jane Austen's books, letters, and advice she gave to her niece, Fanny when she was attempting to write a novel.
Chapters Include:
1. Manners Makyth Man - and Woman
2. The Forms of Introduction
3. Calling and Conversation
4. Dancing and Dining
5. Dress and Taste
6. The Subject of Matrimony
7. The Family Circle
8. The Assistance of Servants
I found this to be an enjoyable and enlightening read. Some things are kind of obvious, like how the eldest daughter is addressed as Miss Bennet and unless she is married or not present, no other sisters can have that title. But other things were very new to me, like rules about servants and that you are supposed to be careful in complimenting the clothing of others. Overall, I recommend this book to anyone who likes the Regency time period, would like to understand Jane Austen's World better, or is interested in writing a novel that takes place during the Regency time period and wants to be historically accurate.
August 15, 2014
This is a simple but charming look at the period manners of the Regency, with a focus on Jane Austen's letters and books. It doesn't offer much that's new and can't be found in other more in-depth studies of the period. But its presentation as a book of the period (complete with accurate sizing and title page) is delightful.
February 25, 2016
3.5/5
I don't know how to rate non-fiction but this is what I felt it deserved.
I could see this book as a good way to understand Jane Austen's characters' mannerisms. Also, it's a good handbook if you'd like to write about that era. Overall, it was funny and witty. It had references to other Austen works - ones I haven't read before - so I couldn't completely relate.
I don't know how to rate non-fiction but this is what I felt it deserved.
I could see this book as a good way to understand Jane Austen's characters' mannerisms. Also, it's a good handbook if you'd like to write about that era. Overall, it was funny and witty. It had references to other Austen works - ones I haven't read before - so I couldn't completely relate.
October 5, 2014
And let it be known that, all things being equal, I never would have made it in Polite Society.
October 29, 2018
Still trying to see if good manners and good humor will help me find a single man with a large fortune looking for a wife. Either way this book was clever, funny, and honestly probably useful. Will edit this post if what I learned does have a positive effect on my dating life.
September 14, 2021
Really, this is something only a die-hard, fully-read Jane Austen fan could possibly enjoy, and it still leaves much to be desired for such. It is nice to dig in to the specifics of society and decorum of that era, which brings a deeper understanding of the stories, but it would have been nice to explore how our modern-day traditions stemmed from and/or diverged from these practices and standards.
January 5, 2024
Pretty basic. Lots of “manners & rules” missed out on, but a fun, quick read. Best for someone new to Austen and the Victorian era.
My copy is a great quality book with nice watercolor- not bad for $2.
My copy is a great quality book with nice watercolor- not bad for $2.
April 27, 2021
Such a great use of Austen’s own works and correspondence.
May 25, 2022
A short and sweet introduction to the customs of the Regency era.
July 24, 2024
Cute illustrations. This book will help me appreciate the Authoress's books even more.
November 23, 2009
I have trouble with people who think they can write in the voice of Jane Austen. I avoid at all costs those awful pieces of trash like "Mr. Darcy's Daughters" and "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" because there is one Jane Austen and all others are most certainly NOT Jane Austen.
Aside from the gall thinking they possess the talents and inimitable style of Miss Austen, which they most assuredly don't, the nerve of trying to stand on the shoulders of this giant is quite overstepping any author's literary capabilities. To put it rudely, write your own damn crap, stop dragging Jane Austen into your bad prose.
That said, this book is more of a reference guide to manners exhibited in Jane Austen's novels, letters and stories. It's well researched but outdated and inapplicable to today. It's best used as a reference guide for reading her novels--which is probably what Ms. Ross used--all the references and notations made by the editors of her novels.
Aside from the gall thinking they possess the talents and inimitable style of Miss Austen, which they most assuredly don't, the nerve of trying to stand on the shoulders of this giant is quite overstepping any author's literary capabilities. To put it rudely, write your own damn crap, stop dragging Jane Austen into your bad prose.
That said, this book is more of a reference guide to manners exhibited in Jane Austen's novels, letters and stories. It's well researched but outdated and inapplicable to today. It's best used as a reference guide for reading her novels--which is probably what Ms. Ross used--all the references and notations made by the editors of her novels.
April 2, 2017
Written as though a guide to readers in Austen's era, it certainly wouldn't hurt to take a point or two into modern day interactions.
January 19, 2022
Ross’s book is delightful, easy reading to any devotee of Jane Austen’s works. It’s illuminating for today’s modern age to better understand the guiding principles of Regency society. In addition, the book has Webb’s beautiful illustrations.
The main premise of the book can be summarized in this quote: “This little guide is the outcome, ultimately, of a correspondence between the Authoress” as Ross refers to Austen “and her eldest niece—Anna Austen, or Steventon Rectory. . .” (1).
The Polite Society of the Regency may have seen manners as primarily a way to distinguish rank and establish superiority. For Jane Austen, and many other of the ton, it was also a way to put others at ease, to preserve everyone’s dignity and avoid a “selfish disdain for the feelings of others.”
The book is laid out in eight chapters, each focusing on a type of behavior: manners, introductions, conversation, dancing, dress, matrimony, the family, and servants. Within each chapter, Ross lists a series of rules followed by examples from Austen’s life and her characters. Ross has a gift for using precise examples from all of Austen’s novels and many of her characters. Throughout the book are lovely quotes from those character.
For example, to illustrate the rules for surrounding compliments, Ross writes the following exchange.
"To question—or even compliment—anyone else, in person, on the details of dress may be regarded as impertinent.
"Miss Steele’s scrutinies of Marianne Dashwood’s toilette are the height of bad manners, ranging from ‘the price of every part’ of her dress to ‘the number of her gowns,’ and concluding with
an examination into the value and make of her gown, the colour of her shoes, and the arrangement of her hair."
I found this book insightful and charming.
The main premise of the book can be summarized in this quote: “This little guide is the outcome, ultimately, of a correspondence between the Authoress” as Ross refers to Austen “and her eldest niece—Anna Austen, or Steventon Rectory. . .” (1).
The Polite Society of the Regency may have seen manners as primarily a way to distinguish rank and establish superiority. For Jane Austen, and many other of the ton, it was also a way to put others at ease, to preserve everyone’s dignity and avoid a “selfish disdain for the feelings of others.”
The book is laid out in eight chapters, each focusing on a type of behavior: manners, introductions, conversation, dancing, dress, matrimony, the family, and servants. Within each chapter, Ross lists a series of rules followed by examples from Austen’s life and her characters. Ross has a gift for using precise examples from all of Austen’s novels and many of her characters. Throughout the book are lovely quotes from those character.
For example, to illustrate the rules for surrounding compliments, Ross writes the following exchange.
"To question—or even compliment—anyone else, in person, on the details of dress may be regarded as impertinent.
"Miss Steele’s scrutinies of Marianne Dashwood’s toilette are the height of bad manners, ranging from ‘the price of every part’ of her dress to ‘the number of her gowns,’ and concluding with
an examination into the value and make of her gown, the colour of her shoes, and the arrangement of her hair."
I found this book insightful and charming.
February 16, 2019
This is a cute little guide for Austen fans - I suppose if you're interested in a quick-hit guide to what was considered 'good manners' in the 1800s, then you might like this. But the book is centered around Austen's subjects and has some quotes from her novels and letters, with examples of how she and her characters behaved, so it's really geared towards Austen admirers.
It was a neat look at how things were done 200+ years ago (and a reminder that I'm mostly glad for modern opinions and relieved that our manners have relaxed, though I do think they've done so perhaps too much) and I did pick up a thing or two. For instance, hearing about how those of higher rank were free to decide who of lower rank could be introduced to them. We see examples of this in P&P but I always looked at it from the perspective of Darcy being a dink - but Mr. Collins wasn't supposed to introduce himself, it was up to Darcy, per the rules of 'polite society' to indicate whether he wished Mr. Collins be introduced to him. Another thing I noticed with the help of the book is that Austen doesn't spend a great deal of time detailing the clothing, hair and features of her characters - which I appreciate!
There are cute illustrations throughout and a ribbon bookmark in my edition, so overall it's a nice book to have in my collection. But it's pretty niche and probably something saved for someone who spends a lot of time reading and loving all things Austen.
It was a neat look at how things were done 200+ years ago (and a reminder that I'm mostly glad for modern opinions and relieved that our manners have relaxed, though I do think they've done so perhaps too much) and I did pick up a thing or two. For instance, hearing about how those of higher rank were free to decide who of lower rank could be introduced to them. We see examples of this in P&P but I always looked at it from the perspective of Darcy being a dink - but Mr. Collins wasn't supposed to introduce himself, it was up to Darcy, per the rules of 'polite society' to indicate whether he wished Mr. Collins be introduced to him. Another thing I noticed with the help of the book is that Austen doesn't spend a great deal of time detailing the clothing, hair and features of her characters - which I appreciate!
There are cute illustrations throughout and a ribbon bookmark in my edition, so overall it's a nice book to have in my collection. But it's pretty niche and probably something saved for someone who spends a lot of time reading and loving all things Austen.
February 13, 2022
I found this book quite interesting as well as having an element of charm to it. I love the structure of old manners and how they were so often made with the aim of putting others feelings and comfort at a for front of peoples minds, which I feel is something that people don't always do as much anymore.
Although this book is not an original etiquette book from the regency period, it is written as if it was and gives clear examples of where Austen used examples of what is being talked about in her literacy works. I feel that reading this book along with one of Austen's stories gives you a better grasp on what is happening and for what reason. Somethings that aren't considered bad manners now were and are thought of as so in her books and this guide breaks it down a bit more so you can understand why. While some of that manners now seem crazy, like a lady never being able to navigate a party with out an escort, some are quite sweet, like not permitting anyone to encourage false sense of attachment and lead people on in romantic relationships. If this was still widely enforced/encouraged it would save a lot of heartache I would imagine. Overall, I feel that this is a must read book for any one who loves Jane Austen stories and wants to understand the fascinating world of etiquette in the 1800's better.
Although this book is not an original etiquette book from the regency period, it is written as if it was and gives clear examples of where Austen used examples of what is being talked about in her literacy works. I feel that reading this book along with one of Austen's stories gives you a better grasp on what is happening and for what reason. Somethings that aren't considered bad manners now were and are thought of as so in her books and this guide breaks it down a bit more so you can understand why. While some of that manners now seem crazy, like a lady never being able to navigate a party with out an escort, some are quite sweet, like not permitting anyone to encourage false sense of attachment and lead people on in romantic relationships. If this was still widely enforced/encouraged it would save a lot of heartache I would imagine. Overall, I feel that this is a must read book for any one who loves Jane Austen stories and wants to understand the fascinating world of etiquette in the 1800's better.
August 22, 2023
This is a small novel that caught my eye on a library display. I love Jane Austen's books and decided to checkout the book.
Much more fun to read Jane Austen's books rather than this one. Of course, I did smile at some of the content.
"Where matters of love and marriage are concerned, a strict adherence to the formal codes of good manners is a matter of the highest importance. ... calculated encouragement of attentions without affection for the pleasure of conquest of the hope of an advantageous marriage, must be deplored, and will have no place in the life of a rational, right-thinking man or woman."
Much more fun to read Jane Austen's books rather than this one. Of course, I did smile at some of the content.
"Where matters of love and marriage are concerned, a strict adherence to the formal codes of good manners is a matter of the highest importance. ... calculated encouragement of attentions without affection for the pleasure of conquest of the hope of an advantageous marriage, must be deplored, and will have no place in the life of a rational, right-thinking man or woman."
January 6, 2025
Sweet and fun, I enjoyed the references to Austen's (or 'The Authoress', as she liked to be called) novels to provide example of these unforgivable social blunders, resulting in social ostracisation and eternal damnation (e.g wearing excess amounts of rouge). I now feel much informed, and certain I would be doomed in Regency society - I fear my social impropriety may rival even Mr Collins'. Three stars.
May 15, 2018
You could pick up everything this book offers when you read any of Jane Austen’s books. She says nothing new and in many cases just quotes the books or Jane Austen’s letters. You could just bullet point all the “rules” on a single page and skip all the fluff in between. But if you enjoy a good general overview then this is the book for you.
July 10, 2018
An interesting look into the politics and conventions of Jane Austen's society. Helped me understand the books so much more, whilst also being a point of interest into a time period that I love. Would recommend it it to all history buffs and Jane Austen fanatics!! Loved the excerpts from her actual books that put it all into place.
October 26, 2025
3.5
CONTENT mention of imosidty, may have been mentions of nreaking the law of chastity; i dont recal
MESSAGES
WRITING Fun and insightful
CONCLUSION I found this to be quite useful, athough nt a classic, it lived up to expectations!
These are however, just my feelings about the work; other may well interpret it differently.
CONTENT mention of imosidty, may have been mentions of nreaking the law of chastity; i dont recal
MESSAGES
WRITING Fun and insightful
CONCLUSION I found this to be quite useful, athough nt a classic, it lived up to expectations!
These are however, just my feelings about the work; other may well interpret it differently.
November 25, 2017
Loved it. Something that has always struck me is the emphasis on civility in Austen's books. There is a code of behavior that decent people follow. Maybe it's restrictive, but living in an age where civility is rare, I think we could all use a dose of it.
January 8, 2019
Cleverly written and illustrated using excerpts from Jane Austen's writings, this is a fun and short guide to manners and habits of early 19th C English society, the "polite society" - if you could afford to be a member.
July 2, 2021
It used resources found in Jane Austen's letters which I found an entirely new approach to manner volumes, but it fell short on delivering the intended topic. A lot was left out and it didnt get into the nitty gritty of the reasons behind the topics at hand.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews