Beyond Our Control: Let Go of Unmet Expectations, Overcome Anxiety, and Discover Intimacy with God

by Michael McAfee, Lauren Green McAfee

Realizing how little control we have over our lives can make us fearful and anxious--or it can lead to greater intimacy with God, a richer prayer life, and a joyful eternal perspective. 

Seasons of grief, pain, and loss of control are inevitable. Despite our best efforts and steadfast faith, reality rarely matches our expectations. In an unpredictable and broken world, how do we cling to a foundation that provides purpose for today and hope for the future? 

In their new book, Beyond Our Control, Michael and Lauren McAfee show us how trusting God brings greater contentment than the illusion of control. With deep and abiding faith, the McAfees draw on their experiences with adoption, infertility, illness, and loss to help readers navigate unexpected circumstances. Offering biblical insights and their powerful story of pain and providence, Michael and Lauren know that no matter what happens--to their family, work, or ministry--everything is as it should be because God is in control, and he is good.  

The McAfees help

recognize the illusion of control and how it leads to greater anxiety;understand why glorifying God is the richest expectation we can have for our lives;realize that Jesus' pain on the cross brings hope and healing to the pain we experience now;practice the profoundly comforting spiritual discipline of lament, which makes room for us to process grief; anduse times of loss to make more room for God's work of growing and sanctifying us. 

If you struggle to embrace the life you have rather than the life you wanted, this book invites you to find a deeper peace in God than you could have imagined.

Genres: Christian Living, Audiobook

239 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2023

Reviews

[Estar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this difficult to read if you have had loss related to a child in your life. It has a lot of detail regarding their life circumstances and their processing of it, with their faith. The couple alternate writing the chapters. This book might help those going through similar losses or who counsel (or stand beside) those who have those type of circumstances. You have to admire the couple writing this together since often times many marriages don’t survive the loss of a child or something similar.

One little thing that bothered me: when referring to God, the authors or editors didn’t capitalize “Him” or “His” such in: “What a gift— the greatest gift of all— more of his light. More of his life. More of him.” I received an advance copy from NetGalley and the publishers in expectation of a fair, unbiased review.

[Kelsey Page · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book truly has such a good outlook on life and gave me many things to ponder and think about. Has truly helped to strengthen my relationship with the Lord. The entwining of their own personal experiences truly helped to encapsulate the points they were making and shows the struggles that many people face. I tabbed so much in this book and I will recommend it to so many people.

[Melisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the way that this book was written from both a wife and a husband perspective and how they used a painful experience to encourage others to be able to still see God in all of it. Very quick read and thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for letting me have an early read ☀️

[Erika Hamlet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book. The authors gave great insight into seeking God glory amidst pain and grief. Also created a space to realize that not having control allows us to rest in peace knowing the God is in control. Loved it and recommend for anyone who has experienced loss, anxiety, fear

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book, the authors share personal stories about hardships they have been through in recent years, and they unpack theological ideas about suffering. They provide a good balance between narrative and teaching, writing in a way that can appeal to Christians who are intense thinkers and Christians who mainly want a heartfelt story.

Lauren and Michael McAfee share about their suffering from infertility, an adopted daughter's cancer diagnosis and treatment, and the loss of a son through a failed adoption, a year after they brought that child into their home. They write about how painful these experiences were and still are, and reflect on how their faith has helped them endure. They explain how false beliefs and half-truths can make life harder, setting people up with false expectations, and they explore a biblical theology of God's sovereignty in suffering.

I felt that the authors were somewhat insulated by their family privilege, since Lauren's grandfather is the founder of Hobby Lobby. For example, they talk about how weird it was to go through tremendous suffering during the pandemic when their issues weren't pandemic-related, but there's not much acknowledgement of how much worse the pandemic made other people's existing problems, when other people didn't have the financial and family support they did. They're never, ever flippant about the pandemic, but this is one case where they could have acknowledged people without their privileges and never really did.

I also noticed some unnecessary name-dropping in the first half of the book, with the authors citing popular Christian living authors as family friends. However, even though I think they could have handled some elements like this better, I found this book moving and encouraging, and I would recommend it to Christians looking for a book that shares a theology of suffering in a personal, accessible way.

I received a free copy from the publisher through Amazon Vine in exchange for an honest review.

[Michelle Castaneda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond Our Control: Let Go of Unmet Expectations, Overcome Anxiety, and Discover Intimacy with God by Lauren and Michael McAfee is an important book for believers to read. It has a great approach to anxiety and really points directly to God in various ways. This focus on God and closeness to Him is found throughout the book. It is such a great reminder of God’s closeness and why it makes all the difference. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is kind of a memoir, as the author's story of loss is present throughout the book in every chapter - and is the backdrop and the happening that they work through, as well as the thing that will inspire others in similar situations. I would imagine this book would be great if I lost a child, or if one of my children got sick, or if I needed to wait many years in order to adopt. Michael and Lauren McAfee experienced all this and share their wisdom and theological musings surrounding what they learn and ruminated on during this period.

[Kim Barker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audible book and truly appreciated hearing the story in the authors’ own voices. Michael and Lauren McAfee describe their journey through circumstances that could have devastated any family, and share how their faith not only sustained them, but deepened their relationship with God. Their perspective provides inspiration and insight to those navigating shattered expectations. The hope in this book is palpable and it transfers to the reader (at least it did for me).

[Emma Tourtelotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.8/5

“The gospel is the only hope that matters, both now and for eternity. Our suffering does not alter that reality.”

This was really hard to read but an incredible story. This family has faced grief so intensely but shared their story solely to encourage others facing grief, as well as providing insight on how to support those facing these trials! Definitely a challenging but refreshing read!

[Linda Yeatts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful and transparent about personal hard times.

[Faith Hawthorne · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Raw, emotional, encouraging, Biblically-grounded.

[Kristen Gillock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book!