You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

by Laya Saul

"You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" is like sitting down with a favorite aunt-one who love you-and having a conversation. With lots of stories and quotes, this book honestly talks about the issues that are most important in a young adult life (and were most requested by readers): sex, drugs, peer pressure and setting goals, to the tough stuff like suicide and sexual abuse, to moving forward in life: changes, communicating and living your dreams.

This book offers inspiration and understanding to the lives of the readers. It opens doors to healing the hurt places, perhaps even avoiding danger or pain in the future, and gives tools to help build dreams by acknowledging that everyone has gifts in life.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

214 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

Reviews

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed by Me for TeensReadToo.com

When I was growing up, I can honestly say that I don't remember ever hearing about "self-help" books for teens. If they were out there, I simply never heard about them, and no one ever pointed me in their direction. Maybe if I had gotten my hands on a book as well-written as YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY, I would have had a better guideline to base my choices on. Thankfully, this book is available now, and it's a resource that every teen and pre-teen should read. Aunt Laya Saul is never preachy, she doesn't tell you what's right and wrong, she never says you can't make mistakes. Actually, the author is very adamant about that fact that each young adult should make their own decisions, and that you can learn from your mistakes. But as she also points out, there is still something to be learned from the mistakes that have already been made by others. Just as you know that jumping off the Empire State Building would be a bad idea (as shown by those who have tried it), you can realize that doing certain things will only bring you harm by seeing the results they've already had in other people's lives.

The book is laid out in four main categories, with many sub-categories in each one. They are:

Attitude, which includes Believe In Yourself, Everybody Has Something, Trust Your Intuition, Defining Boundaries, Don't Panic, The One Percent Adjustment, What Do You Expect?, It's Your Choice, and Accountability.

Challenges, which includes Failure-Missing The Mark, Handling Regret, Trusting The Hard Times, Pain And Suffering, Alcohol And Drug Abuse: Self-Medication, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, and You Are Never Alone.

You And The World, which includes Reflections On Relationships, Family, Friendship, Communication, Gossip, Be Nice, Feedback, and What You Really Need To Know About Sex.

Gaining Altitude, which includes Because You Are Noble And You Can, Forgiveness, Lend A Hand, You've Got To Stand For Something, Live Your Dreams, Changes, and The Gift of Time.

There is also an introductory letter from the author, a final word, a section on recommended reads and a bibliography, acknowledgments, how to contact the author, and an author biography.

This is a great book that you can give to the teen or pre-teen in your life. Or if you're a young adult looking for a handbook to get through the tough times of adolescence, pick up a copy of YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

[Sirah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, that was a lot of advice. While there were a few places where this book offered novel ideas and inspiring stories, the author spent a lot of time giving me a long list of "do" and "do not." I've already forgotten most of it, but some of the stories will stay with me, and a few of the activities (such as mapping out dreams) were meaningful to interact with. Admittedly, I'm not the target audience for this book, which is advice for teens, primarily, but I would have thought there would be more connection rather than just instruction. I still read through the whole thing though, so it can't have been that bad.

[Bryce · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book can be beneficial to anyone who needs help with their mental state or have had past trauma or if they feel lost. But if you do not relate to any of this it is not the best to read. My parents bought me this book, so I decided to read it. I did not relate to most of this book, but some aspects of the book were helpful and gave me new ideas on how to deal with certain situations.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book :)

[Helen Tran · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is a good book for those who have trouble in school and in life.

I'm not saying that its not a good book.
This is a really helpful book if you need advice or have problems. This book would have more of an effect on kids who aren't ignorant of advice. Although it would not really help kids today in our world. They are less obedient and probably won't let this book influence their thoughts and actions. I'm not really like that but the book wasn't really compelling and interesting to be much of a help.

For example, if you said " I hate you," to your grandma, first, thats rude and second that will definitely deprive them of their cheerful spirits. They care for you, as a mother for her child. On the other hand, if you said "I hate you" to a friend, they will most likely react differently, either being mad at you for a small time or completely ignoring it and thinking you are joking. Those are the two sides of reactions to this book. To older people, they might take some of this advice seriously. But to teens, it might not matter except for the explicit parts and gossip. This book is targeted for teenagers as well but I don't think that it fits right.

Despite the fact that this is a book review, I would say that this book can definitely be better. Maybe a group of helpful teenagers could've written each part in their own view and explain their experiences. I don't know, but it would be better than this book, sorry.

[Sandra McLeod · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything about this book--from the quotations sprinkled through each chapter to the upbeat message delivered by each chapter! Aunt Laya covers every possible issue and doesn't avoid the tough ones. This is a "Book of Wisdom" packed full of common sense and delivered with love. If I could give my tween and teen grandkids only one book, this would be the one!

[S R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book for adolescents and young adults