Counseling With Our Councils: Learning to Minister Together in the Church and in the Family

by M. Russell Ballard

Church and family councils are one of the best resources available to us in winning the battle for the souls of our Father's children. I feel strongly that the best way to help lift the burden of leadership--both in the Church and in the family--is to invite council members to assist in finding the answers and implementing the solutions that the gospel of Jesus Christ provides.

So writes Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Long a student of the workings of the Church council system, Elder Ballard shows that the pattern for government by councils is divinely inspired, and he points out the wisdom and strength available in properly conducted Church and family councils.

Genres: Lds, Religion, Nonfiction, Church, Self Help, Spirituality, Inspirational

196 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

President M. Russell Ballard has served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter–day Saints since October 6, 1985. He was set apart as Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles by President Russell M. Nelson on January 14, 2018.

He was born to Melvin R. and Geraldine Smith Ballard. He attended the University of Utah. He served as a counselor to the president of the British Mission. He has been a bishop twice and a high councilor in two stakes. In 1974, he was called as president of the Canada Toronto Mission, where he was serving when he was called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in April of 1976. He served as a member of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy from Feb. 21, 1980, to Oct. 6, 1985.

Prior to his call as a General Authority, Elder Ballard had interests in automotive, real estate, and investment businesses. He has served on many civic committees and boards. He is the author of two books.

He married Barbara Bowen in the Salt Lake Temple Aug. 28, 1951. They have two sons, five daughters and forty grandchildren.

Reviews

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

The LDS church is unique in not having a paid clergy. And so if you are an active participant in the church, you will somehow be involved in the ministry or administration; which means meetings. Lots and lots of meetings sometimes. This is an excellent book on how these 'meetings' (or 'councils' as Elder Ballard more correctly refers to them as) can be more efficient and useful in accomplishing the missions of the church. It is about how to prevent people from getting lost in the interest of programs, how to prevent purpose from getting lost in our practices, and how to prevent the spirit from getting lost in schedules. This is an important book to read for those who are in leadership and direct meetings, as well as those who participate in them. The principles discussed are equally applicable to family meetings, and there is a chapter devoted to that. I would add as well that the principles could be equally applicable to the more secular meetings we may attend or direct in our work lives as well.

[Ashley Furness · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful guidebook for leaders within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I would recommend this to any and all ward or Stake leaders. It’s also a wonderful book for this wishing to counsel more within their families. I especially love the emphasis that Elder Ballard places on the importance of all counsel members, specifically women, in participating.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this (gratefully) as a relatively new, and often less than effective, Bishop. With tremendous insight, doctrinal support, and wonderfully pragmatic instruction, Elder Ballard laid out how to use counselors and councils in accomplishing the work of the gospel. At the same time, I was serving as the chairman of the Management Department at my university, and I found this wonderful book equally helpful there as well. True principles are effective, regardless of where they are applied! Among the topics addressed in this book are:

1. How to plan and conduct a ward or stake council meeting.
2. What individual council members can bring to their assignments.
3. How to make better use of the accumulated wisdom, inspiration, and experience of all council members.

Highly recommended for anyone in a leadership position in the Church (or out), whether young or old, male or female, etc.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for any leadership position in the Church but also for any member as there is information on family councils and I just think it's good and interesting to learn how the Church runs. Good book.

[Shiloah · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read this book aloud as a family to all ages. We gain valuable insights on leadership, how councils should be run, how important revelation is in all situations, problem solving as groups, the importance of and other roles women have in the church, more on how the church is organized and so more. We had meaningful discussion incited by this great work. It was an edifying book.

If you don’t decide to read as a family, I highly recommend it as a couple’s read.

[Jillian Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really, really good. Just not what I thought it was going to be.

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this several years ago and was recently asked to re-read it as part of ward council.

It's a marvelous book. It began with two conference talks Elder Ballard gave back in the 90s and some training he would give when he visited stakes. Then he wrote this book. Since the time he wrote it, the ideas about how councils should run have been integrated more and more into the church. When the new church handbooks were released in 2010, they were built on the foundation of the council model that Elder Ballard presents in this book. I really consider it a classic because of how much it has influenced LDS thought and procedure.

There is a lot of emphasis on making sure the sisters in councils are heard and appreciated. I think that applies just as much to the male auxiliary presidents. I have rarely seen a bishop that uses his quorum and auxiliary presidents as much as he could.

It also contains a very good discussion of disciplinary councils and PPIs.

As much as we often talk about following your priesthood leader and listening to the men who hold keys (such as the prophet, stake president, and bishop), the church since the days of Joseph Smith has always been built on councils (including presidencies). Counseling together brings revelation. Basically every church member is part of a council at one point or another. I would recommond it to every latter-day saint.

[Chris Pratt · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s nothing earth-shattering in here, but it can definitely help expand your vision or break out of a rut if you’re caught in the week-to-week drudgery of ineffective councils.
The real-life examples Elder Ballard gives make the theoretical seem more tangible.
I’ll likely read this again when I need an expanded vision of councils, especially because it’s such a quick read.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

An LDS classic. It’s also really interesting to revisit when you have a role on a church council. That is especially the case now as the rampant changes to church programs are in place. You can see the ideas that Elder Ballard wrote about decades ago in their book being put into programmatic effect today. The idea of ministering is basically outlined in this book only to be implemented years after its publishing.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic, well laid out book about the need for actually counseling in our counsels than directing one's own agenda.
Elder Ballard has written a book that should be in every households library, leader or not.
I found it a font of wisdom and crucial for success in the time in which we live.

[Danny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I need to be more brave, enough to more fully use the correct principles taught here by Elder Ballard in my home, knowing how well they work in Church settings.

[thethousanderclub · Rating 3 out of 5]

The dynamics of leadership and government in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are fascinating to me. They represent not only the strictures of bureaucracy but also the expression of culture. Implicit and explicit requirements of ecclesiastical government play out every single Sunday in thousands of congregations across the earth. M. Russell Ballard's book Counseling with Our Councils is a set of principles on how those congregations should be governed. Although the book highlights councils at the most intimate level—such as within a marriage—and the most eternal—such as the premortal council in Heaven—I was most interested in Elder Ballard's comments related to the councils which are local and most relevant for congregations.

Functioning councils has been a rarely obtained ideal for as long as I have served within the Restored Church. I think they're hard to do right. It's hard to bring a group of different (sometimes very different) people together and abide by the ideals of an effective council—agendas, priorities, deference, respect, and honest discussion. Elder Ballard at one point recites a historical footnote worth repeating. Commenting on the state of their councils, Joseph Smith stated: ". . . we are frequently so filled with prejudice, or have a beam in our own eye, that we are not capable of passing right decisions . . . in our councils, generally, one will be uneasy, another asleep; one praying, another not; one's mind on the business of the council, and another thinking on something else." I think many can relate to that statement and could probably find plenty of fault in themselves. Councils certainly are an inspired method by which to make decisions, but Elder Ballard's book also reminded me how difficult facilitating a heaven-inspired council can be.

Although one can see plenty of secular leadership principles at work within the Restored Church, I think the fundamental motives and purpose are different. For example, Elder Ballard says that "when a leader expresses his or her opinion first, the discussions conclude prematurely." One can find similar advice in many professional leadership books. Of particular interest to me was the following statement: "Almost without exception, bishoprics, stake presidencies, and auxiliary [now known as organization] presidencies who clearly love and respect one another have an almost magnetic effect on those within their reach. Love is contagious; acceptance is balm to the soul. And when warmth and camaraderie are obvious among members of a bishopric or presidency, similar feelings typically ripple through the entire congregation." The concept of the shadow of the leader immediately comes to mind. Regardless, there are important leadership lessons and reminders in Counseling with Our Councils that would be beneficial for many leaders to review.

Counseling with Our Councils provides some great insights into how councils with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints should work. It presents ideals while recognizing the challenges which have existed since the restoration of the Lord's Church. From a doctrinal standpoint, the reader can benefit more from a book like The Lord's Way, but Elder Ballard's book serves its purpose. While reading it, I never felt myself excited by some new extraordinary insight, but I did feel resolved to do better in my own capacity when and if given the opportunity—beginning with my own family council. In conclusion, I'll quote Elder Ballard's one-sentence testimony regarding councils: "There is literally no problem in the family, ward, or stake that cannot be better understood and helped by Church leaders looking for solutions in the Lord's way." Using councils is the Lord's way.

https://thethousanderclub.blogspot.com/

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author stresses the urgency for councils in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to listen to and include women’s voices in their discussion and decision-making processes. He points out that councils are not new, for they were an essential part of life in our pre-mortal life in heaven. Councils take time and should not rush to quick decisions. Every voice counts and everyone has a seat at the table. This book has critical information on how church administration needs to run. It is a message that needs to be shared with the general membership of the church, including the youth.

The Grand Councils of Heaven, here (in the world of spirits) we were instructed about conditions we would face in our mortal life. We also learned the lessons of councils. How they worked, and the importance of counseling together in gospel governance. Preparation for council meetings is essential for meaningful discussions (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) to take place. Allowing time for discussions and considering different points of view. The Creation of Council provides examples of how councils should work within the church (including disciplinary councils).

1) Heavenly Father gave clear and precise directions
2) He sent his children out with clearly defined expectations
3) Let them decide how to accomplish the details

A new young bishop had good counselors, was working hard, and spending a lot of time and energy in their callings. They had great activities, and their meetings were always well planned and executed. They did all the things they thought they were doing was what they should do. However, they didn’t feel like they were accomplishing anything of great importance in the lives of the members of the ward. They were so busy we never focused on the things that really mattered. Consequently, few inactive members lives were being touched, no prospective elders were being advanced to the Melchizedek Priesthood, no young men were going on missions, and no one could remember the last time they had baptized a convert. They got bogged down in administrative business, rather than touching and influencing individuals (ministering to God’s children and talking about the spiritual needs of the members).

[Drew Wolsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished rereading “Counseling With Our Councils” by M. Russell Ballard.

Quick Take: Essential read for anyone working/serving in any organization where group decisions are made (Tailored to church & family). Teaches how to better use councils to solve problems.

Longer Take:

M. Russell Ballard is a leader within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He wrote this book specifically to help church members better work through challenges in their church and family responsibilities. BUT… the principles here are incredibly relevant to those outside of the church system as well.

This is my 2nd time through this one, and I think I enjoyed it this time even more than the first. As I have gotten older (I feel oooold some days), I have had more opportunities to “sit in council” within my work, church, and family roles. With this additional experience, I have come to a greater appreciation of the power of “we” to solve problems. I really can’t recommend this book enough. You can’t read this and not become more converted to the power of working together to conquer challenges.

Some of My Favourite Quotes:
“There is no problem … that cannot be solved if we look for solutions in the Lord’s way by counseling – really counseling – with one another.”

“It has never been God’s intention that His children stand alone in important decisions and responsibilities.”

“It is my testimony that such miracles can happen only to the extent that we are prepared to work together…”

“Sometimes we get so focused on bringing people to the meetinghouse that we forget we are supposed to be bringing them to Christ.”

“It is only when we get beyond the administrative details of our callings and focus our attention on the principles of ministering to God’s children … that our Church offices take on their full meaning, and we experience the fulfilling joy and satisfaction to be found in rendering significant service…”

“Every person has a significant contribution to make. Every person.”

https://www.divineparadox.ca/

[Daniel Standage · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not have a paid clergy. Each member is expected to live according to high standards of integrity and discipleship and to take turns serving in various capacities, including leadership roles. Much of Elder Ballard’s apostolic ministry, reflected in many of his general conference addresses, focused on teaching principles of church governance and ministry as carried out through local leadership councils. This book provides a concise yet comprehensive overview of those principles, illustrated with numerous practical examples.

Elder Ballard emphasizes that councils are most effective when they focus on meeting the needs of individuals and families, rather than merely managing programs or planning activities. He also underscores the importance of full participation from every member. The council is not democratic in the “majority vote” sense—the council leader is ultimately responsible for decisions. But effective councils are democratic in that they operate in a spirit of unity and shared purpose—where each person’s insights are heard, valued, and acted upon, and where members have real ownership in carrying out the work.

From my own experience in leadership positions inside and outside the church, I can attest to the wisdom of these principles. Meetings and organizations that neglect them often lose opportunities for greater effectiveness and harmony. Although Elder Ballard’s teachings are tailored to Latter-day Saint settings, many of his insights apply just as well to leadership in community, academic, or professional contexts.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This provided great guidance to ward councils on really making the most of what council leadership can bring - creativity, more balanced workloads, enthusiasm, and more nuanced understanding. My bishop uses this book heavily, and I've seen its value in the handful of ward councils I've attended - they are much more than coordinating meetings, and the focus stays on people.

I was pleasantly surprised by how much this focused on utilizing women's perspective in the decision making process of the work of the church. I do have to get it off my chest that it was ironic to hear him talk about the value of female presence on councils, and the importance of the perspective they bring ... published several years before women were appointed to key churchwide councils. And with a lenghtly description of the process the quorum of the twelve used to create the family proclamation ... without consulting a single female leader, despite their relevant stewardship. But I'm not trying to hate - I do feel like since the publication of this book, church leadership has been making deliberate efforts to bring out the voices and influence of our churchwide female leadership. And I really, really, liked all the examples of how ward and stake female leadership contributed to the decision making process in meaningful ways. This does do an excellent job of modeling what female contributions to the church on a local level can look like.

[Eric McLean · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid book about councils in the church and how we can use councils more effectively. It isn't anything groundbreaking or that I haven't heard before, but maybe I've been fortunate in being a part of good councils in the past. The writing was fine--nothing fancy, to the point, and without embellishment. I think this probably could have been written in a few pages rather than an entire book. I wonder, especially for General Authorities, what the criteria is for writing entire books rather than some other format.

Anyway--I would recommend this to anyone who is on a council and wants to understand how they work, why we have them, and how they can be better. This includes councils at the ward and stake level, as well as presidency and family councils. I feel guilty not giving it more stars, but it was simply a good, instructional book. Nothing more, nothing less.

[David Lott · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book recounts Elder Ballard's feelings and guidance about all types of councils.

I really never thought about how many councils are used in the church and in our families. It was a good reminder to try to council in all things. I was particularly interested in the fact that the council in heaven was a council. Ideas were expressed and given but ultimate decision was Heavenly Father's.

One reoccurring theme throughout the book was the need for more input from the women of the church. Maybe I'm missing something but all the councils I have been on in the church the women talk the most in the council. Maybe we need the instruction to listen more to their counsel?

Overall I liked the book and feel the instruction is useful to all.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this read. I've often had a hard time feeling inspired by LDS "church" books that aren't officially produced and sanctioned by the church, although I'm not sure why. However, this was different for me. I gained significant insight into how councils are supposed to work in church and family settings. It left me with the feeling that I've got a lot to work on, as well as with the desire to do so.

I would recommend this book to members of the LDS church, but this would probably be a hard read for those not familiar with the Mormon church lingo. That being said, I think the principles would absolutely be helpful in various other settings outside of church and home, such as political, business, or community arenas.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably one of the best books someone could read as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. Though this book isn't teaching soul-saving doctrine, it is one of the most helpful books of how to be a good member and managing the church. Congregations are only as strong as a volunteers who lead, but often volunteers are flawed and ignorant. We all are. This book explains how to counsel, how to lead, how to listen... It's specifically lays out how word counsel, stake counsel, family counsel, is supposed to work, what it should look like, how it should flow. I knew a bit of these things before I read the book, I've studied enough conference talks to have a general idea of the stuff, but this book lays it out so perfectly and so clearly.

[Björn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though it sometimes feels as though the council concept is well established throughout the Church, our execution and understanding can always stand improvement. Elder Ballard describes the principles of effective councils from the first council before the world was, through local and organizational councils, up to and including family and companionship councils. Nearly a quarter-century old now this book is bursting with vision, doctrine and encouragement. An immensely valuable read for anyone serving in the Church, and for human beings in general who would benefit from counselling together in the Saviour's way. I've heard there's a new edition reflecting recent Church organizational changes: it's on my wishlist!

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this book in 2021, some of the descriptions of the ward structure, council meeting schedules, and handbook quotations are out of date (e.g. there are no longer high priest groups, young men presidencies, PEC meetings, the handbook has been changed significantly etc.), but the basic principles about counseling with our councils are very sound and timeless. I learned some good things about the role and function of councils in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and in families, and some good practical advice about how to help them be more effective. This book was a worthwhile addition to my personal gospel learning to help me be more effective in my service in the Church.

[Paul Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a new understanding of the purpose and power of councils. They can increase communication and unity and enhance inspiration and revelation from God. The presiding office should prepare and send an agenda in advance, so participants in the council can ponder and get inspiration beforehand. The presiding office should seek and draw out everyone's thoughts and comments and should learn from them. Ultimately the presiding office needs to make the decision, but it should be a unanimous consensus of the council, not merely a majority rule or the presiding officer imposing their own decision.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about learning how to counsel together in all kinds of councils: Church councils, presidencies, families, etc.
Easy to read but thought provoking. With the new curriculum for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, implemented this year, which is based on counseling together in quorums and Relief Society, this is a timely message to review again. "Revelation is scattered among us." This is true in every group that desires to find solutions to any problem or concern. It can also be an avenue of discovering what is working, what we are doing well.

[Spencer Willardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains so much good practical advice for leaders and parents, but it is also filled with inspiring stories and uplifting principles. I can't believe that I haven't read this book before now. I am so glad that I did. I can see how much of this counsel from President Ballard has been incorporated into the Handbook and daily culture of the church even though we are sometimes slow to heed the counsel given and church culture changes slowly.

For my friends who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I highly recommend this book.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was very interesting to read this book and learn about the way that councils within the church should be run. Elder Ballard includes how the council system can be effective in many situations both within the church and in our own homes. I appreciated his frequent admonitions that women should be included and utilized in many situations, and that their insights and ideas can contribute to the whole.

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found that I really liked M. Russell Ballard's style of writing. It wasn't so complex that you couldn't understand what he was saying. I feel like sometimes general authorities use such complex language that I quickly become bored with what they have to say. This book has some great insights in counseling. I particularly enjoyed the stories that he shared of people that have used councils and have had success. The section on family councils was the most applicable and interesting to me.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is fantastic for anyone with any sort of 'presidency' calling in the church. I didn't even read it for that. I've been wanting to implement family councils in our home and wasn't sure how to go about that and so I read this. I loved how he breaks down WHY the council system in the church works when used correctly. This would help many who feel like there are too many meaningless meetings in the church & how to get the most out of when you do meet. I HIGHLY recommend.

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the touching stories, and the illustrations of the principles in action. Ballard has written about every council in the church and family. I am a church employee, and so we also counsel together as a staff in much the same way. The book did not touch on that aspect of councils. However, many of the same principles apply in my work. It is certainly a worthwhile read, and one that I wish I had read sooner--when I was called to my first leadership position in the church.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have owned this book for a very long time but had never read it. Although some things have changed in church, the principles taught in here are still applicable! It could be very helpful for a person new to councils, or with a new calling or just for someone who needs to resolve a problem and would like or needs to work with others to do so. Great reminders of the power of working together and how it is supposed to work in the Church.