Becoming Frum: How Newcomers Learn the Language and Culture of Orthodox Judaism

Jewish Cultures of the World

by Sarah Bunin Benor

When non-Orthodox Jews become frum (religious), they encounter much more than dietary laws and Sabbath prohibitions. They find themselves in the midst of a whole new culture, involving matchmakers, homemade gefilte fish, and Yiddish-influenced grammar. Becoming Frum explains how these newcomers learn Orthodox language and culture through their interactions with community veterans and other newcomers. Some take on as much as they can as quickly as they can, going beyond the norms of those raised in the community. Others maintain aspects of their pre-Orthodox selves, yielding unique combinations, like Matisyahu’s reggae music or Hebrew words and sing-song intonation used with American slang, as in “mamish (really) keepin’ it real.”

Sarah Bunin Benor brings insight into the phenomenon of adopting a new identity based on ethnographic and sociolinguistic research among men and women in an American Orthodox community. Her analysis is applicable to other situations of adult language socialization, such as students learning medical jargon or Canadians moving to Australia. Becoming Frum offers a scholarly and accessible look at the linguistic and cultural process of “becoming.”


Orthodox Jews and language socialization --
"Now you look like a lady" : adventures in ethnographic and sociolinguistic fieldwork --
"He has tzitzis hanging out of his ponytail" : Orthodox cultural practices and how BTs adapt them --
"This is not what to record" : Yiddish, Hebrew, and the English of Orthodox Jews --
"Torah or toyrah" : language and the modern orthodox to black hat continuum --
"Just keepin' it real, mamish" : why ba'alei teshuva adopt (or avoid) Orthodox language --
"I finally got the lingo" : progression in newcomers' acquisition of Orthodox language --
"A ba'al teshuva freak" : distinguishing practices of newly Orthodox Jews --
Matisyahu and my fair lady : reflections on adult language socialization.

Genres: Jewish, Nonfiction, Judaism, Religion, Linguistics, Judaica, Anthropology

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I lived in Israel, I went through a brief phase where I tried to speak Hebrew in an Israeli accent, or at least as authentic an accent as I could muster. It didn't last long. It was too hard for me to focus on both my accent and my fluency, and if I could only have one, I wanted the fluency more than I wanted the accent. More to the point, I sounded fake to my own ears and felt even more self-conscious than I did speaking in my foreign but genuine American accent.

I've never studied linguistics, but this book reminded me about the ways in which we try to fit into a society by adjusting our speech. Becoming Frum: How Newcomers Learn the Language and Culture of Orthodox Judaism used language as a lens for studying Jews who choose to become Orthodox (BTs), and the various approaches they take to accommodating their identities to Orthodox culture vs. assimilating selected aspects of Orthodox culture into their identities. Some BTs struggle to master linguistic subtleties and cultural nuances, trying valiantly to become indistinguishable from Orthodox Jews who were born and raised in the culture (FFBs). Others maintain aspects of their earlier identities, and accept or even embrace the fact that they will never sound like FFBs.

I picked up this book after a Catholic colleague asked me to recommend a book that would explain his Orthodox Jewish clients' culture to him. The introduction does a good job of laying out the landscape of Orthodox Jewish subcultures. The rest of the book, if you have patience for a some technical linguistic sections and a heavy focus on speech, also contains interesting information.

The author presents herself as a non-Orthodox Jewish woman with a strong Jewish education, which in many ways makes her an ideal observer to define and describe Orthodoxy for those who are unfamiliar with it. She knows enough about Orthodox Judaism to "get it," but as a non-Orthodox Jew, can identify which aspects of Orthodox culture need to be explained and how to explain them.

As someone who likes reading ethnographic studies of Orthodox Jews and examining my culture through objective, academic eyes, this was an enjoyable book for me to read. The language was pretty accessible for an academic book, and although I did skim some of the more technical sections, I mostly appreciated the book and its insights.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an insightful look into the sociolinguistic aspects of adults who enter into new communities, in which novices gain expertise in language as well as all manner of other sociocultural aspects. Orthodox Judaism is unique in that there are so many intricacies to be considered that it is not directly comparable to, say, an adult gaining expertise in a new workplace, or even an adult joining religious communities that might have fewer new things to learn. Many of those who come from non-Orthodox backgrounds never fully leave their previous identities behind, perhaps more akin to adult learners of additional languages. (Though there is learning of Hebrew and/or Yiddish in this case, a large part of this book's focus is on Jewish English in particular. The "language and culture" of orthodox Judaism is therefore situated somewhere more intense than the learning of an additional dialect, but perhaps less than the need to entirely absorb news languages in toto.)

This is an invaluable book, and from my experiences in both Judaism and linguistics, its insights ring very true. My only desire might have been to see some larger sample sizes. I don't fault the author, since she documents extensive research over a long period of time, but there are occasions when conclusions might have benefitted from casting a wider net (even if such a net might not have been possible to cast).

All in all, an excellent sociolinguistic resource.

[julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

i hope that dr. benor will forgive me for saying so in these words but this fucked severely. also if you're reading this hello hi i'm obsessed with your work.

anyway to elaborate: excellent, in depth coverage of Orthodox English. The concept of adult language socialization was new to me and fascinating. The book explained/validated a lot of observations I had made while spending time in Orthodox communities which was very fun for me personally. It was also great to see the results from her study of American Jewish language being used because in high school I made everyone I know take it. I plan to spend the rest of my summer driving my mother insane by inserting as many Yiddish-origin syntactical structures into my speech as I possibly can and saying baruch hashem to everything.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

In accessible, although academic, language, Benor illuminates many aspects of the transformation from secular Jew into Orthodox one. She focuses on sociolinguistic data compiled through her extensive research. Her findings will be useful not only for linguists and social scientists, but rabbis, kiruv workers, and even psychologists who serve Orthodox clients. Recommended.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Content-wise, Becoming Frum was a lot different than I expected, but it was still incredibly insightful. I initially thought the subtitle was referring to the experience of gerim (converts) as they integrate into Jewish communities. Instead, it focuses on ba’alei teshuva (BTs), those who are already Jewish but have chosen to significantly increase their religiosity. Sarah Benor uses a sociolinguistic and cultural perspective to explain how BTs transition themselves closer to the more conservative end of the orthodox spectrum. The research contains a lot of Hebrew/Aramaic/Yiddish loanwords as well as uniquely Jewish beliefs/attitudes, but Benor does a thorough job of explaining most concepts. Even as someone who doesn’t come from a Jewish background or have any linguistic training, I found that her work still remained markedly accessible to me.

Back in undergrad, unbeknownst to me at the time, I had several friends who were BTs on the path to ‘Becoming Frum’. Though I didn’t have much leisure time during those years, I still wish I had prioritized this book. On a personal note, perhaps I could have been a better friend or at least a more empathetic one. It would have given me a clearer understanding of the obstacles my friends were facing as they were fundamentally transforming their identity and way of life.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

As it happens this is not quite what I expected. Instead it is a sociolinguist's treatise on how Jews who decide to become Orthodox (ba'al t'shuvim) learn the language and culture of Orthodox Judaisim. Highly researched and informative - but not a "how to guide" by any popular description. It's a serious look at how people who adopt a very kosher lifestyle learn and assimilate the code speech and vocabulary language that helps them to function is an observant Jewish world. This interest sme but this was not what I had imagined. Very fascinating if you have any familiarity with sociology, liguistics or Orthodox Judaism. My interest is more academic although I do spend time in "Black Hat” communities (Borsalinos FYI) - very close friends. I was not aware it was directed at academics. If however, if you are one - this is a fascinating observation and analysis of this narrower group of the observant Jewish community. A very quick read.

[Ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Occasionally, I get really caught up in the intersectionality between studies. This is one of those times. Benor "offers a scholarly and accessible look at the linguistic and cultural process of becoming" through language analysis of BT (ba'al teshuva) and FFB (frum from birth) Orthodox Jews in various communities across the United States. Through studies of slang use, sing-song intonation and Yiddish grammar construction patterns that show up in English, and clothing choices, Benoir offers the reader a glimpse into the science behind acculturation. Applicable to any culture and any language. Recommended for graduate level and above, and very useful to have a basic Jewish cultural base. Not as 'accessible' as the reviewers would like you to believe, but 100% worth it.

[Ben Rothke · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this fascinating sociological analysis, the author analyzes how baalei teshuva use the language of orthodoxy. There is a strong connection between language, identity and social interaction, and Benor details how many how baalei teshuva are able to make the transition into observance, but often struggle with the language and cultural barriers.

Benor does a superb job of enhancing our understanding of the complex process of cultural change and language socialization that individuals go through as they become observant

[Marsha Altman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the silly cover, this is actually a very good study of the language of American Orthodox Jews and how the newly-Orthodox learn it and change it themselves.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was going to be more comprehensive, but it was more focused on the language and less on culture/customs.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating study of sociolinguistics among an Orthodox community. Immensely readable and applicable to more than a frum community.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

The complete link to the article about the survey:
http://www.bjpa.org/Publications/deta...

A few years ago I participated in an online survey, conducted by Prof. Benor together with sociologist Steven M. Cohen. The survey asked about Jewish language usage, e.g., Does one say "temple," "synagogue," or "shul"; Is one more likely to name one's children Dylan & Jennifer; or Jacob & Hannah; or Moyshe & Rivkie; &c. The survey also correlated these with questions about one's participation in Jewish life at different levels. Anyway, I participated in the survey & enjoyed it.
(More information here: http://www.bjpa.org/Publications/deta...)

Then recently I got an e-mail from Professor Benor saying her book has now been published, & one could purchase it through Rutgers U. Press. I bit, & I'm glad I did, because I found it fascinating. So much of what she reports matches what we've observed, & also explains things & puts them in a context.

I also found the book sad, in that it confirms what we already know - that American Orthodoxy seems to be deliberately developing into a separate culture, distinct from the rest of American life & distinct from the rest of Jewish life in America.

[Michael Lewyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most of the books published about Jews who become ritually observant focus on intellectual issues (why they become observant), what practices they adopt, or how they get along with less observant Jews.

This book is more specialized; it focuses on language, as opposed to practices mandated by traditional Jewish law. For example, there are many phrases that are common among Orthodox Jews (especially "black hat" or "yeshivish" Jews, as opposed to "modern Orthodox" Jews) which newly observant Jews often adopt in varying degrees.

Benor guides us through these practices and where they come from. In particular, she notes that Orthodox Jews tend to use lots of "loan words" from Hebrew and Yiddish. Even when speaking purely in English, these Jews adopt phrases that make no grammatical sense in English, but make sense in Yiddish. I have visited (and lived in) a variety of Orthodox communities and synagogues, and have noticed some of the same phrases Benor notices- but until reading this book I never knew where they came from.

[Dara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating study of linguistics and culture adaption. I found it very readable, especially for an academic book (there were only a few very small sections I found too academic). Learned a lot of the language traits I see in colleagues (and family!).

[Chumie Maslovsky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting study on how religion and culture influence language. I got a kick out of this book although I didn't finish it. I needed to return the book to its owner.