Where Or When: A Gripping Contemporary Romance Where One Love Letter Reignites Old Love and Obsession

by Anita Shreve, Virginia Barber

Charles Callahan is reading the Sunday paper when an alluring and oddly familiar photo catches his eye: it is Sian Richards, his first love, a face he has not seen for more than three decades. He is entranced by her image, flooded by memories of their teenage summer together, and utterly conpelled to make contact with her again. Charles sends Sian a letter, knowing all the while that "from the very first sentence of the very first note there was nothing innocent about it." Sian writes back - she is now a poet living with her husband and small child on an onion farm in Pennsylvania. She is intrigued that Charles has sought her out after so many years but wary of where their correspondence might lead. For Charles, troubled by financial woes, on the verge of losing his home, and concerned about the security of his family, the letters become a secret obsession and another source of instability in his already complicated life. Despite their reservations, the power of Charles and Sian's attraction leads them to meet again . . . and again. As Charles understands it, "for the two of them, eros is linked with time. It is the very urgency of time he dreads, the sense that their minutes together are short and numbered, that he must say what he has come to say before she leaves, that gestures and words cannot be wasted." Anita Shreve takes the classic theme of "Romeo and Juliet" and gives it an unusual twist: two lovers struggle against formidable odds, reaching across a lifetime to reclaim what they once lost. In doing so, they set in motion a tumultuous series of events that moves inexorably to a shocking conclusion.

Genres: Fiction, Romance, Contemporary, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction, Literary Fiction, Novels

241 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

Anita Hale Shreve was an American writer, chiefly known for her novels. One of her first published stories, Past the Island, Drifting (published 1975), was awarded an O. Henry Prize in 1976.

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, first, they were 14, not 12. If you don't believe a person can fall in love at 14, don't bother reading this, or "Romeo and Juliet," either. Second, some of the sex scenes were graphic, but it was not "smutty" and nothing like a Harlequin novel. Anita Shreve is a gifted writer, regardless of whether you personally like her characters. Third, who reads fiction for moral guidance? It's a novel, about fictional--and flawed--characters, not a self-help book.

I found the descriptions of the characters' emotions compelling, but I must admit I'm really annoyed at the way the book ended. Was that a Catholic thing, that they had to atone for their sins? (I'm Catholic, so that's not an insult to Catholics.) I think I would have preferred an ending that left things more uncertain.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to put this one in the 'Hated it' category. It's truly one of the most terrible books I've ever read with the most selfish characters imaginable. It's about a couple who reunites after only knowing each other after meeting in a summer camp when they were 12. Supposedly, they "fell in love", but their continued love story which knows no bounds, not even the bonds of marriage, and is less about love and more about lust. You'll find more smut than the worst Harlequinn novel between the pages and not much more substance. Some of the smutty lines were SO awful, I read them to a friend who told me to stay out of the 99¢ paperback romances. It's basically a recognization, a meeting, a very disgusting affair, one of those "this will never work" epiphanies and then the book goes to crap from there. Just about every book by Anita Shreve revolves around people having affairs, and THIS is undoubtedly the worst of them all.

[Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book because it interposes the akward innocence of deep young love with the carnality of mature love. The book is summed up in this quote: "Was there, or could there ever be, he wondered then, and wonders now, a reconciliation between innocence and sexuality?" It does this by intertwining present day sex sessions with flashbacks to the intensity of young adolescent love in which every gesture and touch meant something.

The book is about old innocent first lovers who meet again 31 years later. It is interesting because they seem to have been soul mates as kids. From their correspondence, they seem to have depth and an inquisitive nature that is not present in their lives with their respective spouse. In other words, they connect on a deeper level which I believe is a laudible goal. I think the unfaithfulness in their respective marriage comes from the fact that not only are they each others first loves but also they are tempermentally similar so they understand each other implicitly. Life with their current spouses seem to exist because of similar day-to-day experiences instead of a deeper connection with each other.

Furthermore, I think infidelity in a marriage always start with seeds of discontent in ones relationship. The biggest seed of discontent in the book and marriage in general is financial. Without an external stressor such as finance, I think one can have contented marriage though not necessarily a happy one.

This leads me to believe one has to choose ones spouse very carefully. Why not have both, a person that you connect with in depth and cement that with being with each other in your day-to-day experiences?

I think this book is great because it explores the fine line between being in love and lusting after someone. I personally think being in love, lusting, and loving someone is a continuum that is not easily definable and I think the book shows this conitnuum. It is clear that these two adults are in love because of the obssessive thinking that occurs between both people, the illogical behavior that they do, the constant remembering of the past and the withdrawal symptoms of love when the person is not with their beloved. But it seems to me that once they started physically touching each other their mental/emotional love has turned into lust.

So is it really being in love or lust? I think in their case it is being in love because it starts out with something mental/emotional toward the other person instead of their body parts (physcial attraction that usually occurs when one is lusting overs someone).

I think the ending of the book is perfect because it exentuates the love found and lost of their teenage years.

I also like the fact that it shows the real consequences to other people because of the infidelity that occurs.

So far this leads me to a few conclusions about a successful marriage. A successful marriage has to start out with the spouses understanding the essence of the other and from that shared understanding create a life with shared goals that both are passionate about. Secondly, the couple must set a side time to rekindle the relationship separate from day-to-day worries. In other words, a periodic vacation to reconnect with each others essence and not worry about day-to-day affairs. Thirdly, it is vitally important to not allow any festering problems in the marriage that can cause a riff that can possibly lead to infidelity due to a mental/emotional disconnect. I think that takes is honest communication with each other.

[Susan Espourteille · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say I am shocked by all the negative reviews of this book. I found it phenomenal, a tour de force of love, lust, destiny and confusion. I saw the ending coming almost from the very beginning, yet I was compelled to read on, compelled to find out how they reached the inevitable train wreck.

I'm not sure why many people dislike books simply because they dislike, or cannot relate to the characters. Many masterpieces of literature have despicable characters; the story and its denouement are the factors which sway me. If I dismissed every book that had a character I disliked, I'd have few books to recommend.

I disagree with those who call the protagonists selfish. They are both in loveless, cold marriages; their respective spouses could be seen as selfish and self-absorbed as well. What married person has not looked back on a previous live with the 20-20 vision of hindsight, asking themselves, "What if. . . ?"

I found this to be a compelling and masterful look at love and marriage through the lens of time. I think it is indeed possible to be complacently married, and blindsided by the past; indeed, I think most of us are only a few steps away from the brink of an all-consuming vortex of longing and regret.

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thought this book would be great by the back of the cover..."What would you do if, out of the blue, you recieved a letter from your first love?" How many times have i been fooled by the back cover!?

Too, bad... i thought it would be a good read, but it is just a sad story, the main characters wreck thier lives, and marriages, the dude drives off the bridge..is he dead or what??? The ladys husband shoots himself?? Puh-leeease! Get a grip- what do you think is gonna happen...and then the worst part is the badminton playing at the end...so sad, the ending stinks.

Really bummed since The Pilot's Wife is one of my all time faves...thought this would be good too. Oh, and some parts are so steamy, while i was on the plane reading it, i was looking over my shoulder... i was thinking if someone else is reading this, they may have a coronary...the love scenes were very descriptive...and gross...like animals...lol..bummer...but i have to admit, i read the whole thing...i kept wondering how it would end, and what would happen...so i guess that says something right?

[Linsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not really sure how to rate this book. While it was good and I had to finish it to see how it ended, I was repulsed by the story also. The writing style was a little different than what I was used to and it took a little while to figure out who's point of view you were reading. Like I said before, the story was compelling and kept you going, but at the same time, I was repulsed by the story. I think it was the fact that I didn't agree with what they were doing and felt like you have to be older than 14 to have a "first love" experience that was as strong as what was being described.

[Kirsten · Rating 1 out of 5]

Anita Shreve is my favorite author but this book was horrible. I hated the main characters, I hated the premise and found it totally unbelievable. They met for one week at summer camp when they were twelve? And fell in LOVE? And now, in their adulthood, they are going to leave their spouses to be together? It just really didn't do it for me.

[JANET · Rating 2 out of 5]

THE MOST I COULD SAY ABOUT THIS BOOK IN GENERAL IS: "IT WAS OK". ALTHOUGH I READ IT FAST IN TWO DAYS, THERE WERE A LOT OF DETAILS THAT DID NOT FIT. THIS MAN COULD NOT PROVIDE A LIVING FOR HIS FAMILY, AND KEPT SPENDING MONEY ON TRAVELING TO MEET HER, HOTEL ETC. HE ALWAYS SAID IT WAS A BUSINESS TRIP BUT NEVER PRODUCED ANY MONEY. MORE THINGS KEPT BEING ADDED TO THEIR PAST RELATIONSHIP THAT NO LONGER FITTED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN A WEEK AT CAMP WITH TWO FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS.
I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN THE ENDING.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful book about two adulterous scum. Had I known that was what this book was about, I would have never picked it up. I did read the entire thing, but simply to learn something of why these types of people think as they do - abandoning a real life - a spouse and children to have a little fun. Waste of a life. Waste of a book.

[Jennifer Beech · Rating 1 out of 5]

I usually enjoy Anita Shreve quite a bit. This story was a sad story as well as repulsing. I just can't stand how selfish humans can be. This was not Shreve's best book.

[Mary Durrant · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart wrenching sad love story.
Can we rekindle young love?
People live unhappy lives and only realise when they find what they have been looking for, but is it too late?
A very moving book that will stay with me !

[Elinor · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book. I love descriptive narrative and dialogue, and Anita Shrive is brilliant at both. In spite of loving her writing, however, this was one of the most gloomy and depressing books ever. I knew right from the start that there could be no positive outcome, yet I read on, hoping for a miracle. Alas, no magic solution appeared. What frame of mind was the author in when she sat down and conceived such an elaborate, tragic tale? She was married four times before her death in 2018 at 71 years -- was she utterly disillusioned about finding true love?

[Judith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have so many conflicting feelings about this book that I really hesitate to presume to write a review. In the first place: this is such a childish plot, it's more like a Nicholas Sparks book. Two people meet 30 years after they fell in love at camp and spent only one week together when they were age 14. Who does that in real life?!

In the second place, this book is really an anachronism because so much of the communication is based on desperate letters sent by overnight mail and phone calls made from phone booths. I kept thinking how different the story might be if they had cell phones and face book and email. Yet it is not set in the distant past, just the recent past. So it gave me such an odd feeling, like I had lived through time travel somehow.

Thirdly, I really hate and despise people who neglect or ignore their children because they are blinded by passion. I can't forgive them or find their romance romantic. I only find it selfish and despicable.

But finally, this book was so disturbing that I found it hard to sleep the night I finished it, and though I
kept thinking of all the reasons I didn't like it, I had to admit it was powerful. So, when a book can move your emotions and thoughts that much, you have to give credit where credit is due, regardless of whether you " like" it or not. Bravo, Anita Shreve.

[Mirvan. Ereon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite what other people said, I really liked this book. it was well-written and the story was very intriguing. Young love, coming-of-age, reunion and infidelity, things I love to read in a novel every day. Besides, this book is so dear in my heart for it discusses first love, losing it and then finding it back again after years of waiting and almost forgetting that there was still a person out there who still remembers you. Maybe this book gave me some hope that this could also happen to me. Well, if it happens in book, why not in real life, right? Books are almost always based on real life, so maybe, where or when, I might still have a chance to have this kind of beautiful story - poignant and unforgettable.

I will definitely reread this again to savor the bittersweet swirls of emotion it gave me.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this so much when I read it years ago, I bought a used copy to reread and keep. I realize this one got mixed reviews and some would call the characters selfish due to infidelity, but this is what I see: I see teenagers who find love at summer camp, only to be separated for the next 31 years. They’re trapped in loveless marriages and as fate would have it, they find one another again for a second chance. I absolutely loved the hesitation that Siân and Charles have initially, and then the magnetic pull of fate that brings them together. Life is short, be with the one you love and be happy. Clearly a 5 star had it not been for the ending, albeit somewhat predictable. I just hated the ending and wish there were an alternate scenario.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars because I just positively love the style of this author but eek the plot was so sad and wrong. Great example of how wickedness never was happiness. I had to skip several paragraphs throughout because of the explicitness. But I do love the author's style and enjoyed a few of her other books.

[Cathryn Conroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take a romantic escape from the real world with this ChickLit novel by Anita Shreve that was inspired by the lyrics to the Rodgers and Hart song “Where or When” from the 1937 musical “Babes in Arms.”

But what makes this novel sing isn’t that song. It’s the slow, sometimes agonizing build-up to the explosive, shattering ending.

In 1960 when they were 14 years old at a Catholic church summer camp in Connecticut, Siân Richards and Charles Callahan fell in love for one week. And then they never saw each other again. Thirty-one years later at age 45, Charles opens the newspaper’s literary supplement and sees Siân’s face in an ad for her newest book of poetry. He is stunned. This was his first love! Living in Providence, Rhode Island and married with three children, he does what he knows he shouldn’t do. He contacts Siân by writing a letter to her in care of her publisher. She is married to an onion farmer in Pennsylvania; they have one three-year-old daughter. The two begin an affair, finding in each other a love they have never known. But there are consequences to breaking the rules of morality.

The book is written from the future, present, and past: Siân speaks in the first person but from the vantage point of the future looking back on the affair. Charles’s story, which is the bulk of the book, is told in the third person in the present tense. And the third point of view is the past, focusing on their week together at church camp when they were 14 years old. This literary ploy adds depth to the story because we readers see and feel things from each of their very different perspectives.

Still, even though it is a relatively short novel, it drags at times with too much emotional angst. Overall, it is a tender, haunting story—exhilarating at times, but also deeply sad. And while this isn’t—by far—the best book Anita Shreve has written, it is really good.

[Shonreichon Sareo · Rating 1 out of 5]

The sad thing about this book is that it is not believable at all. And it's not in the fantasy genre, so no excuses. I'm a romantic to the core, but I highly doubt that these two very immatured people found love at the age of 14, and that too in a week's time. Uh huh, I'm not buying that! More like lust, if you ask me.

Charles comes across to me as an irresponsible, deranged man who just wants to escape from his financial troubles. Also, it's quite amazing how he is broke, but he magically always has enough money to make calls to Sian and book a hotel room for their rendezvous. I wish I could say something nice about Sian; those brief moments when she appeared to change her mind, I actually wanted to applaud her. But oh, you fickle-minded woman!

The only saving grace was the ending. A classic lesson of why being selfish never pays. Would I recommend this book? No, unless someone is interested in cringing through pages of a repulsive plot, and all the time having murderous intentions towards the main characters. Sad, really.

[Tifnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I normally enjoy reading books by Anita Shreve, however, this book was nothing like her other books in not only the style of which it was written but also it's contexts.

Where or When is about 2 people who met at camp when they were in their late teens. They fell in love during that week and then they both went on to live their seperate lives. Fast forward 31 years and they meet again, fall back in love and start an illicit affair - both are married with children.

I had great difficulty reading this book. Having my own family, it's hard to read about a man who has an affair and is ready to leave his family to start his life with his new love. I didn't mind so much that he would leave his wife, but what bothered me is that he didn't think twice about his 3 kids (all under 10) he would leave behind. WOW!!

I would not recommend this book. It was not a pleasure read for me and unfortunately, I try not to not finish a book.

[Michael Graeme · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't read anything by Anita Shreve before. Not sure if this was written for a predominantly female or male readership, but as a guy I found sufficient depth, sensitivity, and insight into the middle aged male psyche here to send shivers down my spine. Published in the early nineties, the subtext of the story is one of financial decline, depression, businesses closing,... therefore every bit as relevant now in 2011 as it was back then.

The male and female leads here are middle aged, both married to other people, both unfulfilled. They have an affair. I thought it was beautifully done, but personally I didn't like the ending - can't say more without spoiling it, but surely, there had to be another way?

Anyway, a powerful story. I'll definitely look out for other titles by Anita Shreve.

[Helena Halme · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this bleak book about an affair between two people who fall in love at the age of fourteen, and rekindle their relationship decades later when they are both in their forties, much less than other books I've read by Anita Shreve.
I felt the plot moved too slowly in this novel, and I had difficulty in believing the premise of the book: that teenage love can survive 30+ years. The passion of the relationship was well described, as was the see-sawing of the lovers' feelings from euphoria and excitement, to depression and guilt. However, I still felt that the characters were not quite believable enough, and the ending left me rather non-plussed.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

Guess I'm not a hopeless romantic. This book was a little too sappy for me. To me, the love of your life is the one with whom you weather all of life's storms and sunny days, not the person to whom you were physically attracted during one week of your childhood. Total destruction and devastation were the result of the betrayal and selfishness that came from chasing a dream that was probably too good to be true in the long haul.

[Barbara Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a blessing - we found each other again!!!
I recognize that pain - how can we be apart.
I lived that story - we were meant to be.
I still wonder - how can it be that we are not together?
The ache has dulled. The yearning has lessened. The tears come all together too easily.
Missing you brings a lump to my throat.

[Irina Shapiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking

This is a story about missed opportunities, lost love, and the visceral nature of reality and it's power to crush even the most humble of dreams.

[Linda Lipko · Rating 3 out of 5]

A recent acquisition at a local library sale, this was a quick, enjoyable read. When Cal and Sian were young teens, they met and fell in love at a Catholic summer camp. Years later, Cal happens upon an article complete with a photo of Sian who is now an accomplished author of poetry.

Tripping down memory lane and thinking fondly of those long ago memories, allow Cal a respite from his coastal life in Rhode Island were the economy is fast in a downward spiral. Fearing the loss of his nice house, his car, and his insurance business, a married man and father of three, Cal longs for excitement instead of the pain of watching the town businesses close one by one as foreclosure is the norm.

Reaching out to Sian, he writes a letter. When she returns with a letter to him, they eventually agree to meet at the camp where long ago they held hands and allowed their hearts to glow. Now an upscale inn, they continue to meet. Quickly, they are both obsessed. In the beginning it appeared he was the most obsessed, but as time goes on, Sian happily follows his lead.

She has a husband who is a farmer, and in addition, they both teach at a local college. They share a beautiful three-year old daughter. There is much to lose if the relationship continues. And, at Christmas time, their indiscretions come to light.

I don't usually read romance novels, but this was well written, and good with a surprising ending.

[Vrsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

What is it about love that can't be controlled? Is it just the hormones, or emotions running deep? If love matters so much, then is love right even when it stands to break existing families, separating children? What is important?
This book reminded me slightly of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, where you stand to question the idea of fidelity. They say, if you are not happy with somebody, then there is no point continuing in a loveless marriage. And if you find true love elsewhere, even if both parties are married, what about then? This book left me with unending questions...

[Rachel Whelan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Other reviewers point out the flaws of this novel better than I could, but, essentially: if you’re still pining over your first love from when you were 14 when you’re grown and 45 years old because you married and had kids with someone you probably shouldn’t have married and had kids with…that’s a you problem. The prose is delightful (the redeeming quality that gives this book an extra star for me): it’s a pity the story can’t revolve more around Charles, give him a meaningful chance to rebuild his life and come to terms with it. Instead what “Where or When” provides is a crappy love story that breaks apart families for stupid, selfish reasons.

[Lorna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't say too much about this without giving away spoilers so I will just settle for it was interesting and let it go at that.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just long enough. Kept me interested as I wanted to know what was going to happen to the lovers-leaving their spouses or leaving each other....

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I randomly decided to read this book because it was on the smaller side and now look at me on an Anita Shreve kick. I’ve had 5 of her books for a while that I collected as my mom finished them. I’d never had any urge to pick them up, but after reading this book it’s made me re-evaluate my lack of interest.

There is nothing revolutionary going on story wise here. It’s a book that maps out the predictable highs and lows of an adulterous relationship from the initial meeting to the eventual fallout from the discovery of their actions. The aspects that keep this from feeling predictable, however, are the connection the main characters’ have from a childhood romance and the absolute dumpster fire they find their current lives to be in (probably one character more than the other). Maybe I just like a good drama, but the actions of these characters and the domino effect of those actions for their unsuspecting family pulled me in. It’s all very sad frankly. I wavered between giving this a 3 or a 4-star rating, but the events in the last final chapters really hit the reader in the gut when we consider all that has led up to it. It leaves you with a kind of hopeless, pessimistic view on life and the time we are given, but even if the ending is gloomy, I like that it makes us consider our own lives and making the most of our time.

While I enjoyed the plot, it was like not being able to turn away from watching a car crash. The two lovers are very selfish, and I don’t feel like there’s anything that could justify the utter destruction they bring on their respective families. Even though the book pulled me in, because I disliked pretty much every character, the mood of the book is either depressing or frustrating. That keeps this from being a five-star read because you’re watching these characters make one bad choice after another in the name of love or unfulfilled lives (take your pick).

I could have sworn we had read an Anita Shreve book in high school, but now I know I must be confusing her with another author’s name, making this my first Shreve read. I was planning on reading another book after this one, but when I was checking out the other books I own by Shreve, I was instantly pulled in by the promise of another deep, emotional story from the back covers. I can’t wait to read more from this author.