The Gender Trap: Parents and the Pitfalls of Raising Boys and Girls

by Emily W. Kane

A detailed account of how gender is learned and unlearned in the home

From the selection of toys, clothes, and activities to styles of play and emotional expression, the family is ground zero for where children learn about gender. Despite recent awareness that girls are not too fragile to play sports and that boys can benefit from learning to cook, we still find ourselves surrounded by limited gender expectations and persistent gender inequalities. Through the lively and engaging stories of parents from a wide range of backgrounds, The Gender Trap provides a detailed account of how today’s parents understand, enforce, and resist the gendering of their children. Emily Kane shows how most parents make efforts to loosen gendered constraints for their children, while also engaging in a variety of behaviors that reproduce traditionally gendered childhoods, ultimately arguing that conventional gender expectations are deeply entrenched and that there is great tension in attempting to undo them while letting 'boys be boys' and 'girls be girls.'

Genres: Parenting, Gender, Sociology, Nonfiction, Gender Studies, Feminism, Psychology

297 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for all expecting parents.

[Anbu Manoharan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is no way scientific. The author mentions a few other studies performed on parents gendering their kids. There was no psychological or developmental studies mentioned. She interviewed 42 families, which is a good number of families for a qualitative study. The book is simple, well written with a lot of anecdotes a parent might relate well. Not being a parent myself, I was looking at what my parent's approach was with gendering.

[addie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great and thorough analysis of how parents play a role in gendering their children. Especially recommend for expecting parents or really anyone interested in gender.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book to think about as an adult, separate from any interest in child-raising.

[Doni · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book had a very scholarly tone, which appealed to me initially. But I kept reading other books instead of it. It is filled with descriptive interviews with parents about gender which the author has categorized into "naturalizers, cultivators, refiners, innovators, and resisters." It is ironic that in trying to break down the rigid categorization of gender, she has created her own categorizations. I found her analysis confining rather than elucidating and not sufficient for representing the broad spectrum that relationships to gender identity ought to evoke. For example, I had difficulty placing myself into any of the categories offered. I enjoyed Delusions of Gender much more.

[A'Llyn Ettien · Rating 3 out of 5]

Academic but interesting research on how parents think of and raise children based on gender.

[Jennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

DNF. Loved the first 2 chapters but it's a little too dense for my current mindset these days. May circle back at some point.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for class. I would recommend it to parents who "don't get" gender or parents who want to challenge it. Also, it's good for a Sex and Gender class, which is where I read the book. So, for any professors out there...

[Mills College Library]

306.874 K1625 2012