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The Work on Relationships
Old, young, male, female, straight, gay: what we all want is love, approval, and appreciation, and we exhaust ourselves trying to get them. On this four-tape set, Byron Katie uses the simple, penetrating process that she calls The Work to help us realize that seeking these internal experiences outside ourselves is hopeless. Instead of rearranging the world to match our romantic stories, we learn through these taped sessions of The Work with Katie how to identify and dismantle our stories, and as a result experience a closeness beyond imagination. This live event is guided by Byron Katie, whom Time Magazine names a visionary for the new millennium.
- GenresRelationshipsAudiobook
Audio Cassette
Published April 9, 2002
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About the author
Byron Katie
106 books1,145 followersByron Kathleen Mitchell, better known as Byron Katie, is an American speaker, writer, and founder of a method of self-inquiry called The Work of Byron Katie or simply The Work.
Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. For nearly a decade she spiraled down into paranoia, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then, one morning in February 1986, while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she experienced a life-changing realization. In that moment, she says,
Soon afterward people started seeking her out and asking how they could find the freedom that they saw in her. As reports spread about the transformations they felt they were experiencing through The Work, she was invited to present it publicly elsewhere in California, then throughout the United States, and eventually in Europe and across the world.
The Work has been compared to the Socratic method and to Zen meditation, but Katie is not aligned with any religion or tradition. She describes self-inquiry as an embodiment, in words, of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her on that February morning. She has shared The Work with millions of people at public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, V. A. treatment centers, corporations, universities, and schools. Participants at her weekend workshops, the nine-day School for The Work, and the twenty-eight-day residential Turnaround House report profound experiences and lasting transformations. “Katie’s events are riveting to watch,” the Times of London reported. Eckhart Tolle calls The Work “a great blessing for our planet.” And Time magazine named Katie a “spiritual innovator for the new millennium.”
Katie is married to the writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, who co-wrote Loving What Is, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. I Need Your Love—Is That True? was written with Michael Katz, her literary agent at the time. Her other books are Question Your Thinking, Change The World; Who Would You Be Without Your Story?; Peace in the Present Moment, with Eckhart Tolle, A Friendly Universe, and, for children, Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? and The Four Questions. On her website thework.com, you will find detailed instructions about The Work; video and audio clips; Katie's calendar of events; event registration; free downloads, including the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet; interviews; apps for your iPhone, iPad, or Android; a free newsletter; a free helpline; and the online store. You might also want to visit Katie's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, and her live-streaming webcast page, livewithbyronkatie.com.
Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. For nearly a decade she spiraled down into paranoia, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then, one morning in February 1986, while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she experienced a life-changing realization. In that moment, she says,
I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.
Soon afterward people started seeking her out and asking how they could find the freedom that they saw in her. As reports spread about the transformations they felt they were experiencing through The Work, she was invited to present it publicly elsewhere in California, then throughout the United States, and eventually in Europe and across the world.
The Work has been compared to the Socratic method and to Zen meditation, but Katie is not aligned with any religion or tradition. She describes self-inquiry as an embodiment, in words, of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her on that February morning. She has shared The Work with millions of people at public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, V. A. treatment centers, corporations, universities, and schools. Participants at her weekend workshops, the nine-day School for The Work, and the twenty-eight-day residential Turnaround House report profound experiences and lasting transformations. “Katie’s events are riveting to watch,” the Times of London reported. Eckhart Tolle calls The Work “a great blessing for our planet.” And Time magazine named Katie a “spiritual innovator for the new millennium.”
Katie is married to the writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, who co-wrote Loving What Is, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. I Need Your Love—Is That True? was written with Michael Katz, her literary agent at the time. Her other books are Question Your Thinking, Change The World; Who Would You Be Without Your Story?; Peace in the Present Moment, with Eckhart Tolle, A Friendly Universe, and, for children, Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? and The Four Questions. On her website thework.com, you will find detailed instructions about The Work; video and audio clips; Katie's calendar of events; event registration; free downloads, including the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet; interviews; apps for your iPhone, iPad, or Android; a free newsletter; a free helpline; and the online store. You might also want to visit Katie's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, and her live-streaming webcast page, livewithbyronkatie.com.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
April 1, 2020
This is a set of live recordings where Katie takes individuals through a process of working through relationship issues. She makes the very serious process quite fun often resulting in the individual laughing at him/herself.
If your relationships with others and more importantly those close to you are challenging, this method may help you gain a different perspective. She provides some worksheets to make it a practical thing you can do with those willing to give it try.
If your relationships with others and more importantly those close to you are challenging, this method may help you gain a different perspective. She provides some worksheets to make it a practical thing you can do with those willing to give it try.
July 9, 2025
If you’ve ever struggled in a relationship—romantic, familial, professional, or even with yourself—Byron Katie’s The Work on Relationships will meet you where you are, and lovingly challenge you to take a radical new view. In her signature style, Katie flips the script on our assumptions, asking one simple but life-altering question: “Is it true?” With gentle honesty and grounded presence, she walks us through real-life examples of how to end the war within by questioning the thoughts that cause us pain. This is not about changing the other person—it’s about changing the way we see the other person. And that changes everything.
This book is a masterclass in Don’t Take Things Personally, one of my foundational pillars. Katie reminds us that most of our emotional suffering comes not from what people do—but from what we believe about what they do. That belief? It’s yours to question. I found myself underlining entire pages because her approach so deeply echoes the work I guide women through in A Woman on Top—where the story we’ve been telling ourselves about love, money, and self-worth finally starts to unravel. The freedom that follows is indescribable.
Katie’s process also asks us to Take Personal Responsibility in a way that’s tender, not harsh. You’re not blamed for your pain, but you are given tools to release it. Her “Judge-Your-Neighbor” worksheet is deceptively simple and wildly powerful—it allows you to voice your truth with full intensity, then lovingly inquire into it. As someone who believes deeply in choosing what aligns, I also see how If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a No plays out here too—not necessarily in leaving people behind, but in leaving behind the illusions, the shoulds, and the outdated roles we think we have to play in order to be loved.
Byron Katie’s work is truly sacred—it invites you to bring every upset, every trigger, every “they should have” or “they shouldn’t have” to the altar of inquiry and watch your attachment to suffering dissolve. This book is for anyone ready to look in the mirror with compassion and curiosity. If you’re ready to reclaim peace in your relationships by shifting the only thing you can control—your own thinking—this is a must-read.
You can explore more of her resources and download free tools for “The Work” at thework.com.
This book is a masterclass in Don’t Take Things Personally, one of my foundational pillars. Katie reminds us that most of our emotional suffering comes not from what people do—but from what we believe about what they do. That belief? It’s yours to question. I found myself underlining entire pages because her approach so deeply echoes the work I guide women through in A Woman on Top—where the story we’ve been telling ourselves about love, money, and self-worth finally starts to unravel. The freedom that follows is indescribable.
Katie’s process also asks us to Take Personal Responsibility in a way that’s tender, not harsh. You’re not blamed for your pain, but you are given tools to release it. Her “Judge-Your-Neighbor” worksheet is deceptively simple and wildly powerful—it allows you to voice your truth with full intensity, then lovingly inquire into it. As someone who believes deeply in choosing what aligns, I also see how If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a No plays out here too—not necessarily in leaving people behind, but in leaving behind the illusions, the shoulds, and the outdated roles we think we have to play in order to be loved.
Byron Katie’s work is truly sacred—it invites you to bring every upset, every trigger, every “they should have” or “they shouldn’t have” to the altar of inquiry and watch your attachment to suffering dissolve. This book is for anyone ready to look in the mirror with compassion and curiosity. If you’re ready to reclaim peace in your relationships by shifting the only thing you can control—your own thinking—this is a must-read.
You can explore more of her resources and download free tools for “The Work” at thework.com.
February 25, 2016
Just brilliant! Do yourself a favour, and listen to her, 'Loving What Is'.
I have found this work as profoundly life changing as Amanda Palmer's 'The Art of Asking'/
I have found this work as profoundly life changing as Amanda Palmer's 'The Art of Asking'/
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews