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Immaculate Misconception: A Story of Biology and Belonging
In the early 1980’s, 95% of all artificial inseminations were performed for married, heterosexual couples. Among the other 5% were people like Gwen’s parents– lesbians navigating a homophobic medical system ready to deny them children.
They found a doctor willing to perform the procedure in secret, using sperm from an anonymous donor. Periodically, Gwen wondered if she resembled her donor – what he might look like, how he might walk, what he might say if they met. But there were no records.
Gwen’s childhood was filled with questions she couldn’t easily
Who’s your dad?
Which parent do you look like?
Do you have siblings?
Where were you born?
And the infamous Are you going to be gay because your parents are?
She grew up straddling two worlds. In one–rainbow flags waved and love made a family. In the other– she and her family tried to fit in with everyone else.
Eventually, Gwen stopped asking questions about her biology. She knew who she was and where she came from. On a whim, she sent in a DNA kit and found ten biological siblings. New questions
What does biology have to do with belonging?
What do we suppress to secure our safety? And what is the cost later down the line?
Immaculate Misconception isn’t just a window into a sliver of queer history, it raises questions we all grapple who we are and the forces that influence us. It’s a reflection on nature, nurture, identity, and belonging.
They found a doctor willing to perform the procedure in secret, using sperm from an anonymous donor. Periodically, Gwen wondered if she resembled her donor – what he might look like, how he might walk, what he might say if they met. But there were no records.
Gwen’s childhood was filled with questions she couldn’t easily
Who’s your dad?
Which parent do you look like?
Do you have siblings?
Where were you born?
And the infamous Are you going to be gay because your parents are?
She grew up straddling two worlds. In one–rainbow flags waved and love made a family. In the other– she and her family tried to fit in with everyone else.
Eventually, Gwen stopped asking questions about her biology. She knew who she was and where she came from. On a whim, she sent in a DNA kit and found ten biological siblings. New questions
What does biology have to do with belonging?
What do we suppress to secure our safety? And what is the cost later down the line?
Immaculate Misconception isn’t just a window into a sliver of queer history, it raises questions we all grapple who we are and the forces that influence us. It’s a reflection on nature, nurture, identity, and belonging.
154 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 4, 2023
2 people are currently reading
41 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 6, 2024
A vulnerable, well-researched exploration of one woman's life growing up as one of the first IVF babies born to lesbian mothers. I was surprised by Gwen's resentment of having to explain her origins and be a model spokesperson for gay parenting --though I suppose I never thought much about how it might be to have to represent a whole group and advocate for that group's civil rights. I *imagine* I would have been proud of my mother and glad for the opportunity to be able to help change hearts and minds--but this author resented it so much that she became estranged from her mother, so what do I know? I have multiple grandchildren who were created via IVF, and I hope they don't resent their mothers' choices this much. Overall, though, the book was well-written and engaging.
April 3, 2024
I am incredibly glad this book is out there. Bass's story is poetic, with eerie coincidental timing of some key life events, and her perspective as a donor-conceived person is one that's seldom represented. But what moved me most were her observations on the drive to achieve parenthood by the adults in her community, "queers who found comfort in the idea that parenthood was another place they might belong," and on how those expectations fell short. This book is full of overdue candor that's offered respectfully but unapologetically.
May 17, 2023
Gwen is a remarkable storyteller and very generous in sharing an intimate portrayal of her story. Great authors say the more specific we get, somehow the more relatable stories become. The level of specifics about Gwen’s particular experience make “Immaculate Misconception” ultimately deeply relatable and profoundly moving and a book I didn’t want to put down. If you’re interested in being better equipped to affirm families as they are; in inclusion as real life practice and embodiment rather than theory; in some humor and keen insights; and being thoroughly entertained in the process, I highly recommend Gwen’s book.
July 8, 2023
Yes yes and Yes!
I loved this book. I am constantly telling my child how little representation there was “back in the day” and how different the struggle was when i was growing up. This memoir was an excellent reminder of how things were, how much we have gained from the struggles of those who have blazed the trail before us as well as how far we still have to go. Beautifully written and emotionally vulnerable. Definitely an amazing contribution to queer culture and history.
I loved this book. I am constantly telling my child how little representation there was “back in the day” and how different the struggle was when i was growing up. This memoir was an excellent reminder of how things were, how much we have gained from the struggles of those who have blazed the trail before us as well as how far we still have to go. Beautifully written and emotionally vulnerable. Definitely an amazing contribution to queer culture and history.
June 1, 2023
AMAZINGIST BOOK EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. please read. your life will change to way better. it is very amazing and i think it is one of the best books i have read! dr bass's writing is admirable, excellent. first-rate. magnificent. marvelous. outstanding.splendid.and stunning. please read
May 27, 2023
Don’t ask me why I’m updating my Goodreads at 4am. I didn’t even read this book, I read the play, it’s just not on Goodreads.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews