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Magical Journey: An Apprenticeship in Contentment
"No longer indispensable, no longer assured of our old carefully crafted identities, no longer beautiful in the way we were at twenty or thirty or forty, we are hungry and searching nonetheless."
From the author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day , this intimate memoir of loss, self-discovery, and growth will resonate deeply with any woman who has ever mourned the passage of time, questioned her own purpose, or wondered, "Do I have what it takes to create something new in my life?"
With the candor and warmth that have endeared her to readers, Kenison reflects on the inevitable changes wrought by the death of a dear friend, children leaving home, recognition of her own physical vulnerability, and surprising shifts in her marriage. She finds solace in the notion that midlife is also a time of unprecedented opportunity for growth as old roles and responsibilities fall away, and unanticipated possibilities appear on the horizon.
More a spiritual journey than a physical one, Kenison's beautifully crafted exploration begins and ends with a home, a life, a marriage. But this metamorphosis proves as demanding as any trek or pilgrimage to distant lands-it will guide and inspire every woman who finds herself asking "What now?"
From the author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day , this intimate memoir of loss, self-discovery, and growth will resonate deeply with any woman who has ever mourned the passage of time, questioned her own purpose, or wondered, "Do I have what it takes to create something new in my life?"
With the candor and warmth that have endeared her to readers, Kenison reflects on the inevitable changes wrought by the death of a dear friend, children leaving home, recognition of her own physical vulnerability, and surprising shifts in her marriage. She finds solace in the notion that midlife is also a time of unprecedented opportunity for growth as old roles and responsibilities fall away, and unanticipated possibilities appear on the horizon.
More a spiritual journey than a physical one, Kenison's beautifully crafted exploration begins and ends with a home, a life, a marriage. But this metamorphosis proves as demanding as any trek or pilgrimage to distant lands-it will guide and inspire every woman who finds herself asking "What now?"
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
59 people are currently reading
2599 people want to read
About the author
Katrina Kenison
42 books216 followers"I write to remind myself of how I want to live and who I want to be," says KATRINA KENISON, author of three beloved memoirs that, together, chart the seasons of a woman's life.
Her first book, MITTEN STRINGS FOR GOD: REFLECTIONS FOR MOTHERS IN A HURRY, now a classic for parents of young children, is a compelling invitation to do less and enjoy life more -- in a culture that urges "bigger, better, faster."
THE GIFT OF AN ORDINARY DAY: A MOTHER'S MEMOIR celebrates the small pleasures and the small moments of family life, (which of course are not really small at all).
MAGICAL JOURNEY:AN APPRENTICESHIP IN CONTENTMENT, an intimate memoir of loss and change, growth and transformation. speaks to any woman who has ever mourned the passage of time, doubted her sense of purpose, or asked the question, "What now?"
Her new book, MOMENTS OF SEEING:REFLECTIONS FROM AN ORDINARY LIFE, gives voice to the private longings and simple joys of women everywhere. Drawn from her popular blog, this long-awaited collection is a welcome reminder to pay attention, to practice gratitude, to keep an eye out for wonder. So it is that we begin to discover the sacred in the everyday. .
The annual editor of THE BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES from 1990-2006, she co-edited, with John Updike, THE BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES OF THE CENTURY, a New York Times bestseller. Her other books include the anthology MOTHERS:TWENTY STORIES OF CONTEMPORARY MOTHERHOOD, and MEDITATIONS FROM THE MAT: REFLECTIONS FROM THE PATH OF YOGA, written with her yoga teacher Rolf Gates.
Katrina Kenison lives with her family in rural New Hampshire.
Her first book, MITTEN STRINGS FOR GOD: REFLECTIONS FOR MOTHERS IN A HURRY, now a classic for parents of young children, is a compelling invitation to do less and enjoy life more -- in a culture that urges "bigger, better, faster."
THE GIFT OF AN ORDINARY DAY: A MOTHER'S MEMOIR celebrates the small pleasures and the small moments of family life, (which of course are not really small at all).
MAGICAL JOURNEY:AN APPRENTICESHIP IN CONTENTMENT, an intimate memoir of loss and change, growth and transformation. speaks to any woman who has ever mourned the passage of time, doubted her sense of purpose, or asked the question, "What now?"
Her new book, MOMENTS OF SEEING:REFLECTIONS FROM AN ORDINARY LIFE, gives voice to the private longings and simple joys of women everywhere. Drawn from her popular blog, this long-awaited collection is a welcome reminder to pay attention, to practice gratitude, to keep an eye out for wonder. So it is that we begin to discover the sacred in the everyday. .
The annual editor of THE BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES from 1990-2006, she co-edited, with John Updike, THE BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES OF THE CENTURY, a New York Times bestseller. Her other books include the anthology MOTHERS:TWENTY STORIES OF CONTEMPORARY MOTHERHOOD, and MEDITATIONS FROM THE MAT: REFLECTIONS FROM THE PATH OF YOGA, written with her yoga teacher Rolf Gates.
Katrina Kenison lives with her family in rural New Hampshire.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 220 reviews
February 23, 2013
My first reaction to this book was, frankly, a little negative. I confess I found myself bummed out, thinking, "only privileged women who can afford to stay home and raise kids, who define themselves by that experience, would fail to notice the fact of their own mortality. And then be so shaken by it when the nest empties." Or some such. So what could this woman possibly say to me?
But I kept reading, and I realized she HAD been thinking about life quite a lot even back when she was a young mother, and then I started highlighting. After a while, I noticed the number of highlighted passages was rather high for a book I didn't like. And then I read something that made me cry, and I paid more attention. I cried some more and highlighted some more. This gal's on to something, I thought.
When I finished it, I felt grateful that she wrote it, because I gained two powerful insights: one, that I have given perhaps too much energy to a particularly large fear of mine, and maybe if I face it, acknowledge it, let it live, and try to learn from it, I can diminish or vanquish it (or maybe we can at least coexist); and two, maybe there's more going on - between humans and in the cosmos in general - than I thought (more chemistry, more electricity, more magic, more intuition, more subconscious communication, more LOVE) and I might find more ease and less anxiety in life if I were to slow down, be a little more open and allow myself to perceive this.
Thanks to Katrina Kenison for a wonderfully introspective guide to managing existential angst.
But I kept reading, and I realized she HAD been thinking about life quite a lot even back when she was a young mother, and then I started highlighting. After a while, I noticed the number of highlighted passages was rather high for a book I didn't like. And then I read something that made me cry, and I paid more attention. I cried some more and highlighted some more. This gal's on to something, I thought.
When I finished it, I felt grateful that she wrote it, because I gained two powerful insights: one, that I have given perhaps too much energy to a particularly large fear of mine, and maybe if I face it, acknowledge it, let it live, and try to learn from it, I can diminish or vanquish it (or maybe we can at least coexist); and two, maybe there's more going on - between humans and in the cosmos in general - than I thought (more chemistry, more electricity, more magic, more intuition, more subconscious communication, more LOVE) and I might find more ease and less anxiety in life if I were to slow down, be a little more open and allow myself to perceive this.
Thanks to Katrina Kenison for a wonderfully introspective guide to managing existential angst.
February 3, 2013
I would give this book ten stars if I could!! It was so moving for me at this time in my life. I first got this book from the library but when I was just 3 chapters into it and already had a dozen post it notes, i knew i had to buy my own copy. I just love her writing style...it is clear, poignant, and breathtakingly beautiful at times. She writes a lot about change, surrender, and acceptance--her younger son leaves to a boarding school and she is all of a sudden an empty nester, three years before she expected, a dear friend dies of cancer, she enters her fifties and struggles with the question of "What now?".
Here are a few of my favorite paragraphs...
It is so easy to overlook the wonder of life until something threatens to snatch it away from us. How willingly we sacrifice the days of our lives to trivial distractions--silly computer games, unnecessary errands, useless worry. We get caught up in our petty concerns and miss the beauty unfolding right in from of us; rushing headlong into the next thing, we fail to appreciate the only thing we can really claim as ours to own: the present moment.
The most important learning and becoming is going on deep beneath the surface, as I discover that I can endure my own imperfections after all, and that I can choose to be happy with my life as is, rather than struggling against it or expecting something more. The journey, not surprisingly, isn't about getting from someplace lacking to someplace better. It is about learning how to travel well, how to negotiate the inevitable bumps in the road more skillfully.
Sooner or later, we are handed the brute, necessary curriculum of surrender. We have no choice, then, but to bow our heads and learn. We learn humility and how to ask for help. We learn to let go even when every fiber of our being yearns to hold on tighter. We learn that we can't change someone else, we can only change ourselves. We can go down fighting, or we can begin to practice acceptance. Grace comes as we loosen, at last, our white-knuckled grip on what ought to be--but even grace is not always gentle or chosen. Sometimes it arrives disguised as a burden--as loss or hurt or unwanted upheaval.
Meaning and purpose come not from accomplishing great things in the world, but simply from loving those who are right in from of you, doing all you can with what you have, in the time you have, in the place where you are. It's not the doing that makes it special, it's the loving.
Here are a few of my favorite paragraphs...
It is so easy to overlook the wonder of life until something threatens to snatch it away from us. How willingly we sacrifice the days of our lives to trivial distractions--silly computer games, unnecessary errands, useless worry. We get caught up in our petty concerns and miss the beauty unfolding right in from of us; rushing headlong into the next thing, we fail to appreciate the only thing we can really claim as ours to own: the present moment.
The most important learning and becoming is going on deep beneath the surface, as I discover that I can endure my own imperfections after all, and that I can choose to be happy with my life as is, rather than struggling against it or expecting something more. The journey, not surprisingly, isn't about getting from someplace lacking to someplace better. It is about learning how to travel well, how to negotiate the inevitable bumps in the road more skillfully.
Sooner or later, we are handed the brute, necessary curriculum of surrender. We have no choice, then, but to bow our heads and learn. We learn humility and how to ask for help. We learn to let go even when every fiber of our being yearns to hold on tighter. We learn that we can't change someone else, we can only change ourselves. We can go down fighting, or we can begin to practice acceptance. Grace comes as we loosen, at last, our white-knuckled grip on what ought to be--but even grace is not always gentle or chosen. Sometimes it arrives disguised as a burden--as loss or hurt or unwanted upheaval.
Meaning and purpose come not from accomplishing great things in the world, but simply from loving those who are right in from of you, doing all you can with what you have, in the time you have, in the place where you are. It's not the doing that makes it special, it's the loving.
January 11, 2013
Luminous. Chockablock with wisdom.
May 16, 2016
Where was this book 20 years ago? It would have been very helpful. I have been down this road--menopause, empty nest, career change (husband retiring, home 24/7). I had to find a way to achieve my happiness and inter-self even though everything else in my life was turned upside down. Katrina used yoga to help her, and I found walking helped me. It takes time to reconnect. I take with me the abbreviation BRFWA. Breathe, relax, feel, watch, allow. I repeat it often.
January 26, 2013
A beautifully sensitive description of the author's mid-life journey to finding a new version of her life, as her children leave home and she feels somehow at a crucial bend in the road. We discover, through her honest and thoughtful searching, that our lives are enriched by quiet soul-searching and an appreciation of our deepest longings and strengths, as well as the love and friendships that have been part of our journey. She gives us permission to "just be" instead of rushing through our days trying to find happiness and success.
Women of any age will find comfort and inspiration in her story, and I plan to re-read it a few times. There is too much of value to be thoroughly uncovered in one reading.
Women of any age will find comfort and inspiration in her story, and I plan to re-read it a few times. There is too much of value to be thoroughly uncovered in one reading.
May 27, 2016
long story, short: read the letter she wrote to herself. boom. done.
October 3, 2016
"If you fear change, you will miss the abundance of your life."
I dog-eared SO many pages of this memoir, because I recognized myself in almost every one of them. Katrina Kenison has a talent for words. She is able to communicate things that seem incommunicable... and in doing so, she is creating a tribe.
I had a conversation not that long ago with a good friend (to whom I had gifted this book... a book that Katrina herself signed and gift wrapped, which I thought was such a kind gesture!) that led us to wondering about why so many female bloggers and writers are mothers of young children... we wondered why there are so few voices speaking to where WE are right now, nearing the empty nest, facing so many life-altering decisions and changes and big transitions? Part of that answer lies in the fact that as we age, we are often humbled to learn that "the more you know, the less you understand." We wonder, "what do we know about anything, anyway? What can I possibly add to that? And who would listen?" (which makes me extra thankful for those few who DO speak... THANK YOU for all that effort, Katrina Kenison! Yes, it was worth it, and yes, we are listening!)
Maybe another reason for the silence is that it is hard to write into life's spaces without reverting to the use of words like "should" or "ought" or stumbling into self-promotion... or self-pity. Any imbalance in these areas can spoil a memoir for me. But Kenison hits such a beautiful balance. I read this one slowly, and had some great conversations around it. I came away feeling so much lighter for feeling the validation of shared experience and the benediction of her hopefulness.
I dog-eared SO many pages of this memoir, because I recognized myself in almost every one of them. Katrina Kenison has a talent for words. She is able to communicate things that seem incommunicable... and in doing so, she is creating a tribe.
I had a conversation not that long ago with a good friend (to whom I had gifted this book... a book that Katrina herself signed and gift wrapped, which I thought was such a kind gesture!) that led us to wondering about why so many female bloggers and writers are mothers of young children... we wondered why there are so few voices speaking to where WE are right now, nearing the empty nest, facing so many life-altering decisions and changes and big transitions? Part of that answer lies in the fact that as we age, we are often humbled to learn that "the more you know, the less you understand." We wonder, "what do we know about anything, anyway? What can I possibly add to that? And who would listen?" (which makes me extra thankful for those few who DO speak... THANK YOU for all that effort, Katrina Kenison! Yes, it was worth it, and yes, we are listening!)
Maybe another reason for the silence is that it is hard to write into life's spaces without reverting to the use of words like "should" or "ought" or stumbling into self-promotion... or self-pity. Any imbalance in these areas can spoil a memoir for me. But Kenison hits such a beautiful balance. I read this one slowly, and had some great conversations around it. I came away feeling so much lighter for feeling the validation of shared experience and the benediction of her hopefulness.
May 23, 2013
I love this author. I read and re-read her first book, Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry when my boys were little. It validated many of the feelings I had at the time that the little things we do as mothers are so important. I recommended it to new mothers. About a year or two ago, I discovered her second book, The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir and devoured that one, too. Again, I felt that she puts so well why the ordinary ways we spend time with our families is so important.
I enjoyed this latest book probably because like the author, I find myself at a bit of a crossroads in my life. Although I am not an empty nester as she is, I could relate to a lot of the soul searching she does as she experiences loss and life changes. Highly recommended to those in the over 40 crowd who've experienced a bit of life and are asking the age-old question, "What now?"
I enjoyed this latest book probably because like the author, I find myself at a bit of a crossroads in my life. Although I am not an empty nester as she is, I could relate to a lot of the soul searching she does as she experiences loss and life changes. Highly recommended to those in the over 40 crowd who've experienced a bit of life and are asking the age-old question, "What now?"
February 26, 2013
Magical Journey: An Apprenticeship in Contentment by Katrina Kenison
Once you reach a certain age, you realize the impermanence of things and life and people. You wonder if the path you've trod has had any meaning or purpose. You wonder about the connectedness of it all. At least, I have and so has Katrina Kenison. Her book was written about the time in her life when her children were stepping out into the world on their own and the time when a dear friend had succumbed to cancer. I've been there and probably most of us have. How she explores this time of change is the subject of this book. I don't think she would mind if I cut to the core and tell you what she found as a friend had told her when she started on this journey: It's all about love.
Good book, a bit wordy, but still good.
Once you reach a certain age, you realize the impermanence of things and life and people. You wonder if the path you've trod has had any meaning or purpose. You wonder about the connectedness of it all. At least, I have and so has Katrina Kenison. Her book was written about the time in her life when her children were stepping out into the world on their own and the time when a dear friend had succumbed to cancer. I've been there and probably most of us have. How she explores this time of change is the subject of this book. I don't think she would mind if I cut to the core and tell you what she found as a friend had told her when she started on this journey: It's all about love.
Good book, a bit wordy, but still good.
March 10, 2013
As with her other books, Katrina has successfully written a book that is a window to her soul. In so doing, she does an incredible job of connecting with the reader. I read this book slowly, scouring her vivid imagery and really considering all her thoughts almost as if they were my own. I felt a powerful connection to this book, mostly because she does an amazing job of reminding us to appreciate the things that are right in front of us.
I am grateful for Katrina's honesty. Magical Journey is a gift that every woman who feels and thinks deeply should read.
I am grateful for Katrina's honesty. Magical Journey is a gift that every woman who feels and thinks deeply should read.
August 15, 2015
Katrina Kenison came quietly into my life at the moment when I needed her voice most. This book is a presence. It is a pause. It is a breath. Read it when you need that, when you have lost your bearings. Kenison won't tell you where to go, but her story will encourage you to leave off the thrashing through the underbrush of your life and listen, feel the earth beneath your feet and gather yourself-- because isn't that what we are in search of anyway?
July 20, 2020
Perfectly timed - I read this during and after my Yoga Retreat in the Blue Mountains. Although I found her reminisces on her past somewhat rose-tinted and a little twee, sharing her current journey in this book was insightful and enjoyable. I found myself marking some passages for re-visiting. She voices questions I have consciously or unconsciously had myself, and presents a hopeful and proactive approach to life in your 50s and beyond. A gentle read.
August 1, 2020
A luminous read for women in the middle of life—caught between worlds, poised on the brink of change. I’m not an empty nester myself, but I feel in myself much of what she explores and I can see forward into a time in the not too distant future in which I will have to renegotiate my life and my experience of myself in terms of home and family.
January 7, 2019
Loved it. Almost 5 stars. The author speaks eloquently to the exact stage of life I’m experiencing. I took so many screenshots of passages which “spoke to me,” and that is a sign to me that it’s a book I might want to own!
August 14, 2024
Not my favourite of hers.
May 13, 2013
This was an amazing book that my sister Rebecca told me about. It is the story of a woman who suddenly becomes an empty nester(her youngest son leaves home 3 years early to attend a private high school), loses a dear friend to cancer, goes through menopause, turns 50 and wonders what she is going to do with her life now. It is about learning to love life through all of it ups and downs and accepting the changes that we go through as we live. Here are a couple of my favorite quotes:
"Perhaps the real point of life is simply to wear us down until we have no choice but to start abandoning our defenses. We learn that the way things are is simply the way they are meant to be right now, and then, suddenly, at long last, we catch a glimpse of the abundance in the moment - abundance even in the face of things falling apart. Embarking on a journey without knowing quite where we're headed, or even why we need to go, we are freed to be open and curious, ready to find out, rather than obligated to find the 'right' way.
Our experience of being alive is never simply either/or, never black or white, good or bad, but both - both and more. Not life or death, but life and death, darkness and light, empty and full. And just as the sun can shine through raindrops and send a rainbow arcing across the sky, my own heart is growing spacious enough to accommodate both joy and sadness at once."
Allen, of course, also loved this book as it is more of a self discovery book with an eastern philosophy flair.
"Perhaps the real point of life is simply to wear us down until we have no choice but to start abandoning our defenses. We learn that the way things are is simply the way they are meant to be right now, and then, suddenly, at long last, we catch a glimpse of the abundance in the moment - abundance even in the face of things falling apart. Embarking on a journey without knowing quite where we're headed, or even why we need to go, we are freed to be open and curious, ready to find out, rather than obligated to find the 'right' way.
Our experience of being alive is never simply either/or, never black or white, good or bad, but both - both and more. Not life or death, but life and death, darkness and light, empty and full. And just as the sun can shine through raindrops and send a rainbow arcing across the sky, my own heart is growing spacious enough to accommodate both joy and sadness at once."
Allen, of course, also loved this book as it is more of a self discovery book with an eastern philosophy flair.
February 8, 2020
My favorite of Kenison's three memoirs. I've been reading it off and on throughout 2013. Savoring it.
At times the emotions and struggles it addresses were too close to home, if there is such a thing. That seems funny, in light of the fact that I'm 10 yrs younger than Kenison, with three boys under the age of 12---so I'm not an "empty-nester." But whose life is not in flux? At what stage are we not learning to let go? I'm sure the book will resonate differently for me as I reread it in later years, but her story is universal and I recommend it to everyone.
I want to capture some of my favorite lines here, but in truth, I have dog-eared half the book.
“I want to hold on tight to everything and everyone I cherished and, at the same time, saw in a way I never had before that living on this earth, growing older, and growing up in the true sense of the word is really about learning how to let go.”
“Growth and transformation occur not by changing who we are, but as we summon the courage to be who we are.”
I'm grateful for her candor about her marriage and her career. So grateful that I've had her words to accompany me throughout my journey as a mother, as a woman, as a human.
At times the emotions and struggles it addresses were too close to home, if there is such a thing. That seems funny, in light of the fact that I'm 10 yrs younger than Kenison, with three boys under the age of 12---so I'm not an "empty-nester." But whose life is not in flux? At what stage are we not learning to let go? I'm sure the book will resonate differently for me as I reread it in later years, but her story is universal and I recommend it to everyone.
I want to capture some of my favorite lines here, but in truth, I have dog-eared half the book.
“I want to hold on tight to everything and everyone I cherished and, at the same time, saw in a way I never had before that living on this earth, growing older, and growing up in the true sense of the word is really about learning how to let go.”
“Growth and transformation occur not by changing who we are, but as we summon the courage to be who we are.”
I'm grateful for her candor about her marriage and her career. So grateful that I've had her words to accompany me throughout my journey as a mother, as a woman, as a human.
March 2, 2013
I just read most of the reviews already posted and I realized that this book really speaks to those of us in this particular situation - empty nest and feeling a little lost as to what will fill the constant activity and purpose of child rearing. I felt as if in the first few chapters she was reading my mind. Sometimes I know I have spoken her exact words. But when I finished, I realized that this book has much to offer to anyone 50 and over. I have thought many times that when we are younger it is easy to find your purpose: - marriage, career, children and home. Maybe not all 4 and not in that order. But after 50 what can take the place of those clear cut universally accepted goals? Ms Kenisen starts out trying to find a comparable goal but instead finds a different approach to the later years of life. You will have to read it to see what I mean - I could not do her ideas justice.
I could find some things to criticize - certain personal information about her family made me uncomfortable for them, some ideas were repeated over and over, and I got tired of her feeling so old.
But overall a wonderful reading experience and I will recommend it to my friends.
I could find some things to criticize - certain personal information about her family made me uncomfortable for them, some ideas were repeated over and over, and I got tired of her feeling so old.
But overall a wonderful reading experience and I will recommend it to my friends.
December 9, 2017
Like another reviewer, I am surprised by my own reaction to this book, in that I find it simultaneously a trite rehashing of Buddhist teachings by an extremely privileged person -- and wise and helpful. I'm struggling now to find the right balance between being with things as they are and working towards the appropriate changes. This book seems to fall on the being with things side, and yet she did take some profound actions: a month-long learning retreat, starting writing workshops.
The other thing that was, frankly, helpful was her honesty about the degree to which her parenting just hadn't worked out, or her kids hadn't worked out, despite the amount of energy she put into it. What is that -- kids who have everything, loving parents, lots of opportunities -- but they want to leave before we expected it, it's not what they wanted/needed?
Some favorite quotes:
"So much of my energy these days seems to go into managing disappointment in the way things are, staving off worry about what might be, fearing that who I am, at my core, is not really enough. I want things to be one way, and then, when they turn out differently, I struggle, as if desperate not to fail whatever test I've constructed out of the moment. I had been struggling all summer, all fall, wishing everything could be different - wishing for sleep, and sex and energy and laughter, instead of exhaustion and depletion, hot flashes and despair. Wishing Jack was still at the high school a mile from our house and sitting at the dinner table with us every night, instead of living three hours away . . . . I am not really in control of much at all" (45).
"Now I'm beginning to realize that none of our lives, not even the ones that appear 'perfect' from the outside looking in, are without their share of challenges, disappointments, and worries" (54).
Watching a video of her wedding, "When did our rapturous love affair turn into a relationship requiring so much compromise and negotiation and hard work? . . . . Every marriage is a gamble and the stakes are always high. Love, after all, is not synonymous with permanence; we offer our hearts into each other's safekeeping on faith alone. The landscape of our lives together is a muddy criss-cross of mishaps and memories, exultation and grief, hallowed landmarks and forgotten detours made along the way as we each learned, one day at a time, what it means to love another person for the long haul. I didn't realize how arrogant we were, to assume we could somehow do a btter job of being married than anyone else." (77)
Quoting from the Bhaghavad Gita: "It is better to do your own duty badly than to perfectly do another's; when you do your duty, you are naturally free from sin. No one should relinquish his duty, even though it is flawed; all actions are enveloped by flaws as fire is enveloped in smoke" (128).
"It's . . . challenging to keep bringing myself back to 'right here' when right here means the messy, unpredictable encounters between me and the people I love most of all. Being present means showing up not only for the good times, but allowing space for the inevitable discomfort and disappointment of my own everyday life as well. It means fully embracing even the unlovable parts of those people I live with, the unlovable parts of all my relationships, the unlovable parts of me . . . most human suffering can be traced back to a desire for things to be different than they are. . . . . not wanting myself to be the way I am. Not wanting the day to be the way it was. Not wanting my husband to be the way he is" (139)
"a journey that turns out to be more about accepting the person I am now than striving to become someone else. More about embracing imperfection than about fixing things, more about staying with what is than about trying to get to some other, better place. And more about loving well than doing well . . . a more open-hearted willingness to be right where I am, to say 'yes' to my own life, not as I wish it could be, but as it is" (142).
"Our children's destinies are not ours to write, their battles not ours to fight, their bruises not ours to bear, nor their victories ours to own or take credit for . . . we learn that love is necessary, but that love doesn't always save people. We learn that we can't change someone else; we can only change ourselves . . . . I had believed that if II was a certain kind of mother (fully present), and loved my children in a certain kind of way (unconditionally), I could count on a certain kind of outcome (no regrets) . . . . But I also felt I'd let him down -- if I'd only been a bette rmother, I thought, and had somehow done a better job of loving, he wouldn't have had to struggle so" (148).
"[There may be] nothing more healing than the realization that, chipped and cracked and imperfect as we are, we are also worthy and lovable . . . . any moments I spend regretting anything in my sons' lives are moments wasted. Each time I second-guess the choices I've made as their mom, I'm allowing shame to trump love, the past to obliterate the present, regret for what's over to overshadow the beauty and the goodness of what is, right now. They made mistakes. I made mistakes. No doubt we'll all make plenty more in the years to come. But we've loved one another. We did the best we could with what we had and with what we knew. And that's enough. Their lives, their fates, their destinies, are beyond my control, a fact that has been as liberating as it was difficulty to accept."
"The father of my childhood was unpredictable, quick to anger, impatient, unyielding. I'm not sure when, exactly, his edges began to soften; when the old wariness between us eased into this new, more complex and affectionate caring. I always knew my father loved me; what's changed, I think, is that now I feel his love." (203).
Lin Yutang: "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone" (221).
228: story of a man who estimated how many days he might have left and put a stone in a bowl for each one, then carries it outside at the end of each day.
The other thing that was, frankly, helpful was her honesty about the degree to which her parenting just hadn't worked out, or her kids hadn't worked out, despite the amount of energy she put into it. What is that -- kids who have everything, loving parents, lots of opportunities -- but they want to leave before we expected it, it's not what they wanted/needed?
Some favorite quotes:
"So much of my energy these days seems to go into managing disappointment in the way things are, staving off worry about what might be, fearing that who I am, at my core, is not really enough. I want things to be one way, and then, when they turn out differently, I struggle, as if desperate not to fail whatever test I've constructed out of the moment. I had been struggling all summer, all fall, wishing everything could be different - wishing for sleep, and sex and energy and laughter, instead of exhaustion and depletion, hot flashes and despair. Wishing Jack was still at the high school a mile from our house and sitting at the dinner table with us every night, instead of living three hours away . . . . I am not really in control of much at all" (45).
"Now I'm beginning to realize that none of our lives, not even the ones that appear 'perfect' from the outside looking in, are without their share of challenges, disappointments, and worries" (54).
Watching a video of her wedding, "When did our rapturous love affair turn into a relationship requiring so much compromise and negotiation and hard work? . . . . Every marriage is a gamble and the stakes are always high. Love, after all, is not synonymous with permanence; we offer our hearts into each other's safekeeping on faith alone. The landscape of our lives together is a muddy criss-cross of mishaps and memories, exultation and grief, hallowed landmarks and forgotten detours made along the way as we each learned, one day at a time, what it means to love another person for the long haul. I didn't realize how arrogant we were, to assume we could somehow do a btter job of being married than anyone else." (77)
Quoting from the Bhaghavad Gita: "It is better to do your own duty badly than to perfectly do another's; when you do your duty, you are naturally free from sin. No one should relinquish his duty, even though it is flawed; all actions are enveloped by flaws as fire is enveloped in smoke" (128).
"It's . . . challenging to keep bringing myself back to 'right here' when right here means the messy, unpredictable encounters between me and the people I love most of all. Being present means showing up not only for the good times, but allowing space for the inevitable discomfort and disappointment of my own everyday life as well. It means fully embracing even the unlovable parts of those people I live with, the unlovable parts of all my relationships, the unlovable parts of me . . . most human suffering can be traced back to a desire for things to be different than they are. . . . . not wanting myself to be the way I am. Not wanting the day to be the way it was. Not wanting my husband to be the way he is" (139)
"a journey that turns out to be more about accepting the person I am now than striving to become someone else. More about embracing imperfection than about fixing things, more about staying with what is than about trying to get to some other, better place. And more about loving well than doing well . . . a more open-hearted willingness to be right where I am, to say 'yes' to my own life, not as I wish it could be, but as it is" (142).
"Our children's destinies are not ours to write, their battles not ours to fight, their bruises not ours to bear, nor their victories ours to own or take credit for . . . we learn that love is necessary, but that love doesn't always save people. We learn that we can't change someone else; we can only change ourselves . . . . I had believed that if II was a certain kind of mother (fully present), and loved my children in a certain kind of way (unconditionally), I could count on a certain kind of outcome (no regrets) . . . . But I also felt I'd let him down -- if I'd only been a bette rmother, I thought, and had somehow done a better job of loving, he wouldn't have had to struggle so" (148).
"[There may be] nothing more healing than the realization that, chipped and cracked and imperfect as we are, we are also worthy and lovable . . . . any moments I spend regretting anything in my sons' lives are moments wasted. Each time I second-guess the choices I've made as their mom, I'm allowing shame to trump love, the past to obliterate the present, regret for what's over to overshadow the beauty and the goodness of what is, right now. They made mistakes. I made mistakes. No doubt we'll all make plenty more in the years to come. But we've loved one another. We did the best we could with what we had and with what we knew. And that's enough. Their lives, their fates, their destinies, are beyond my control, a fact that has been as liberating as it was difficulty to accept."
"The father of my childhood was unpredictable, quick to anger, impatient, unyielding. I'm not sure when, exactly, his edges began to soften; when the old wariness between us eased into this new, more complex and affectionate caring. I always knew my father loved me; what's changed, I think, is that now I feel his love." (203).
Lin Yutang: "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone" (221).
228: story of a man who estimated how many days he might have left and put a stone in a bowl for each one, then carries it outside at the end of each day.
October 3, 2013
Although reading Katrina Kenison's second and third books back-to-back gave me a bit of a "more of the same" feeling, when the thing that's the same is so very, very good as her remarkable, meditative writing is, that's not a bad thing. I finished this book while on vacation with my husband's extended family in San Diego, and floating in the delicious water of the Pacific Ocean while basking in the constant, lovely sunshine was the perfect place to think on Katrina Kenisons's words and the wisdom she discovers in the post-children at home, post-first major death phase of her life that this book covers. After a bracing swim in a Maine lake, Kenison reflects: "I am still a novice in this work of losing and letting go. Sometimes, all I want is to hold on tight to everything . . . Yet moments flow, one into another. The world turns, its heart is never still. All I can do is listen for the pulse, live my life, inhale and exhale." (p. 229) Yes. And I'm grateful for the reminder, Katrina. Thank you.
May 15, 2014
DISCONTENTMENT. I received a free copy of this book from Goodreads and therefore agreed to review it. I wish I didn't have to. Like a few other reviewers, I really wanted to like it, but didn't. Kenison's writing style is fluid and silky, almost too much so. I, too, stopped reading the book at the yoga chapters. Why? I started to get the feeling that she was exploring new experiences simply to have something to write a new book about, or maybe just to get away from her husband for awhile. The tone was somehow not right, leaning toward shallow, and I began thinking more and more about EAT PRAY LOVE (one of my all-time hate, hate, hate, books) and had to give it up. I understand empty nests and life over 50, but her experiences and her writing of them did little to warm my heart, and actually left me discontented. But, if you liked EAT PRAY LOVE you will probably like MAGICAL JOURNEY, too.
March 29, 2024
Haunting and hopeful! As the mother of six (two of whom have recently "flown"), this book's cover tugged at my heartstrings and compelled me to pick it up and read the jacket. Though not yet in my 50's, nor presently an empty nester, all the themes seemed to be calling to me intimately. I took it home intending to read it as preparatory sustenance for my future (I always like to be pre-prepared), but with each opening I was consumed and surprised by it's relevance to my thoughts, feelings, and needs right now. It is poetically vulnerable, insightful, and reassuring, and though Ms. Kenison's journey into contentment cannot transpose our own, it is like a dear friend urging us on our own path, looking for the magic that is each of us, and has been all along the way.
October 1, 2022
"I have a way of gathering up bits and pieces of my life, collecting ideas, books, people, news, things, even poems I love and profound experiences I want to remember forever, without really allowing myself the time and space to fully absorb and appreciate any of them" -katrina kenison
I almost didn't continue reading this book when I started it. But I'm glad I kept with it. Certain parts hit me deep and brought up things I wasn't necessarily prepared for. So dang good. I will admit there were parts I was bored with but overall it is full of thought provoking details. Well done.
Now to go rethink my entire existence and life and also just let go and be.
I almost didn't continue reading this book when I started it. But I'm glad I kept with it. Certain parts hit me deep and brought up things I wasn't necessarily prepared for. So dang good. I will admit there were parts I was bored with but overall it is full of thought provoking details. Well done.
Now to go rethink my entire existence and life and also just let go and be.
February 9, 2013
Perfect book to read today; Katrina articulates that mid-life moment when we resemble hermit crabs in between shells - vulnerable, exposed and not quite sure that we will find something new that fits as well as what's now passed. "Picking up the pieces of lives that have been transformed by change, rearranging them into new patterns, we wonder how to make good use of these remaining years... " Its a bittersweet time, but rich with possibility and Katrina offers a balance of both perspectives as she shares her own journey.
December 2, 2014
In this book Kenison is further in her life journey as she straddles the precipice of being a premature empty-nester and the afternoon days of midlife. I can easily see myself thinking similar thoughts and asking the same questions as she mourns the loss of motherhood, as she knew it, as well as dealing with life's inevitable losses and relationship changes. Although we all walk different paths our mental and spiritual journeys are the same. Kenison's words reveal many truths we all seek. Love.
May 26, 2016
This book is written for someone in a different season of life. I have just started my mothering journey, where the author is dealing with having an empty nest. What I take away from the book is that you need to be present in your life at all times. Life is short. Love yourself and others. Do things that bring you joy. The book was very repetitive, and at times way too dense and deep. If you are looking for a soul searching book, I recommend "Eat, Pray, Love" instead. The only part that I really enjoyed was when the author went to the yoga camp, the rest I couldn't have done without.
August 24, 2022
This book really touched me unexpectantly! Beautiful writing, Beautiful quotes, Beautiful Heart! My kids are still Home not gone off into the world but i could relate to so many of her feelings! I have Post its all over it, still Discussing if I should keep this or Not, will i read it another time?
I did not Agree with her Yoga spirituality or Reiki things but i cherished her thoughts and words on letting Go, being yourself,embracing your Life, loving well and showing up, maybe i will keep this After all?!😅🤗
I did not Agree with her Yoga spirituality or Reiki things but i cherished her thoughts and words on letting Go, being yourself,embracing your Life, loving well and showing up, maybe i will keep this After all?!😅🤗
August 10, 2013
I read "Magical Journey: An Apprenticeship in Contentment," in short periods over the past several months. The author reflects on a period of her mid-life where she experiences loss and the emptying of her nest. Her personal growth and her reflections on her life experiences are thoughtful and inspiring.
This book found its way to me as a First Reads win. I will be returning to it over and over again. There is much quiet wisdom in its pages.
This book found its way to me as a First Reads win. I will be returning to it over and over again. There is much quiet wisdom in its pages.
April 5, 2022
This was an interesting departure from the books Kenison wrote in the past, which makes sense, as this is all about coming to terms with her aging self and her changing circumstances once she became an empty nester and after she lost a close friend to cancer. While we go about our personal spiritual practices differently, I still appreciated her insights into love, loss, and change, and this gave me a lot to think about, even if we are at different stages in life.
January 21, 2013
This book is truly wonderful. However, the book speaks mainly to empty nesters facing the second half of their life and wondering what next? It truly gives a road map on how to find your joy again, particularly when your life has been centered around child rearing. Anyone in this phase of their life will gain an insightful and fresh perspective on how to face the challenges of growing older.
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