Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male

by Andrew P. Smiler

Changing perceptions about male sexuality
In his groundbreaking new book, noted expert on teenage and adult masculine behavior Andrew Smiler debunks the myth that teenage boys and young men are barely able to control their sex drives, which may lead to destructive hyper-sexuality, unwanted pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases. Dr. Smiler? helps us recognize that the majority of boys and men do not fit this stereotype and that boys? sexual development is multi-faceted.? He also shows how this shift in attitude could help create young men who are more mature, and have better relationships with partners and friends.
Explains how the Casanova Complex has developed over time and how it can hurt young males
Provides the latest research on male sexuality, including information from the author's own studies.
Offers guidance for parents and counselors of boys who want to help them develop lasting and meaningful relationships, as well as for the parents of girls who are dating.
This book dismantles the stereotype of boys as driven only by an obsession with having intercourse with multiple partners, and calls for deeper growth and understanding of modern masculinity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sociology, Gender Studies

288 pages, Hardcover

First published October 10, 2012

Reviews

[Kate Irwin-smiler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, full disclosure: I'm married to the author. But I'm not a psychologist, I don't study media or gender or anything like that, so while I've heard a lot about his work over the years, I've never read much of it. And I think this book gives a great "big picture" look at why ways we talk about and treat men - especially adolescent men - harms them and us as a society. Individual instances or characters or products that seem amusing or harmless on their own, when seen in the context this book offers, are less innocent and more scary. And I while I've heard so much of the facts and figures and data in this book over the years, I find this a compelling argument for why we as a society should change the ways we talk about men.

[Jemma Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great read for parents of boys. The author presents a lot of data that is not widely discussed about the actual sexual and relational realities of teen boys today. There are many helpful suggestions about how to discuss gender stereotypes, familial values about sex, consent, and media literacy. At times the writing is uneven but that is more than made up for by the information conveyed. If you’re concerned with how to help your son avoid the traps of toxic masculinity and sexual entitlement you might want to try this book.

[Lance Eaton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boys don't have to be "boys" but we sure want them to think so. Overall, I appreciate Smiler's effort to delegitimize male culture that emphasizes and trains men to be "Casanovas" (promiscuous and disregardful of women). He hits upon several points that correspond to my own experience while also leading down some roads I had not thought of. There are some places here he comes up short (e.g. he argues that the male as "player" only really began to be celebrated in the 1960s and beyond--but ignores characters like Costello who was a player regularly celebrated within the Abbott and Costello show).

If you enjoyed this review, feel free to check out my other reviews and writings at By Any Other Nerd /

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Through reliable research this book was able to achieve its aims: "(to) dismantle the stereotype of boys as driven only by an obsession with having intercourse with multiple partners, and call for deeper growth and understanding of modern masculinity". Most of the research presented did not seem extraordinarily revolutionary, but I suppose it is a new idea that the majority of men (in these studies) are oriented toward creating and maintaining one functioning relationship.

[Laura]

Decent, but not great. The author is arguing that we need to stop forcing the "player" stereotype on boys (most boys don't want that!), but in the process slut-shames boys who are more sexually active and reenforces a lot of stereotypes he's trying to debunk.

[Laura Jane]

Decent, but not great. The author is arguing that we need to stop forcing the "player" stereotype on boys (most boys don't want that!), but in the process slut-shames boys who are more sexually active and reenforces a lot of stereotypes he's trying to debunk.

[Marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of this was definitely directed at the parents of teenage boys, but it was still fascinating.