More Than We Expected: Five Years With a Remarkable Child

by James G. Robinson

“No matter how much I enjoyed parenthood, I found myself having to accept its fundamental that nothing ever turns out quite as you’d expect.”

It was a journey that most parents would hope to a son born with a congenital heart defect, a fateful decision to take a family trip abroad, and an emergency hospitalization that left them stranded on the other side of the world with no obvious way home.

Despite these difficult circumstances, More Than We Expected is not a tragedy. Instead, this memoir offers valuable lessons about the privilege of parenthood and the practice of the mysterious ways in which the body forms and grows, giving life; how we find the faith to live with our decisions, even if the consequences are beyond our control; and a family’s extraordinary capacity—when something goes wrong—to compensate and heal.

More Than We Expected is a story of finding strength in the most unexpected places. Our children have a special ability to reveal the goodness in the world—their eyes a window to a life full of wonder. Like them, this book is a vivid reminder of what it means to be human—a miraculous, inexplicable gift, however fleeting.

224 pages, Hardcover

Published November 7, 2023

Reviews

[Olive Giles · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank u caroline for the booook which I read over two days on the boat into the rainforest. It was so sad it made me cry but also was so beautiful at the same time, just so so much love in the book and the way the story is told.

[Kathy Skonieczny · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolutely beautiful book. As a pediatric cardiology healthcare provider, this book resonates deeply with me and provides me some insight on how to best care for my sweet patients and their families who are going through some of the hardest days of their lives. Highly recommend.

[Clarissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t cry when I read books, and I don’t ever write reviews on here. This book was so incredibly moving that it necessitated a review. I knew the outcome, you know it when you start it, and yet I was so entranced by the story that I was swept up in the emotions of it all. I read it in a day. Read this book. You won’t regret it. It paints a beautiful picture of making every single moment in life worthwhile.

[Vanessa Ya Lopez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A vulnerable & honest story of a father and his son’s broken heart.

I have had the honor, not only to guide/support children during their hospital journeys but to connect with James as well and this book really reflects what a chronically ill child faces while receiving care in the hospital. This book is a great reminder that there is so much to be learned from both children who are sick and their families. James reminds us all, that these families too, are experts in their children and should be woven carefully into the medical team.

James is a phenomenal story teller who shares his son’s ordinary moments embedded within the extraordinary life that was Nadav’s.

This book felt like, not only a love letter to Nadav, but to health care professionals working in pediatrics. We are always witnessing miracles, strength and resilience and often learning life lessons along the way.

[Jeanine Morelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one day. Well written. A beautiful story about a beautiful family and all the wonderful people that come into their lives. I love that the parents pass on their wonderful Jewish traditions to their children and loved that the author would bless his children when he said goodnight or goodbye. Highly recommended especially for healthcare professionals to gain insight to the struggles and sacrifices families make for their beloved ones with chronic illness and to grow in empathy. Thank you NYC Vassar book club for letting me know about this book.

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brave and strong and a great story about resilience in one family. I can’t imagine losing a child but reading this book gave me an intimate understanding of the world that the author lives in. Tragic but also inspiring. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Jessica Dalton · Rating 5 out of 5]

filled with miracles, love and the desire to live life to the fullest while facing the realities of life with heterotaxy. this book is so well done!

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautifully written, uplifting story of a terribly sad situation. Yet the book, and story, is hard to classify as sad. James G. Robinson has told his son’s, and family’s, story in an amazing way that just leaves you feeling hopeful about so much.

[Emma Wilkos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick, engrossing read that was especially interesting to pick up while I’m taking peds and right as I’m starting peds clinicals. It gave a really unique and very intimate perspective on the experience of families of sick kids, including day to day family moments as well as feelings of grief, duality, guilt, jealousy, and frustration. There was such a clear picture painted of who Nadav was as a person, out of the hospital, despite so much of his life revolving around his condition. Such an incredible reminder of the resilience of kids and importance of individualized, family-inclusive, thoughtful care. It also was interesting to learn tidbits about Judaism throughout the book and consider how tradition and religion influence patient care! -1 star solely bc I didn’t love how other members of the healthcare team were spoken about at times. For example, writing about the transport team, “the extra nurses were strictly perfunctory…. They spent most of the flight down eating chips,” was an unnecessary remark, in my opinion. otherwise! Completely loved and feel like I’ll carry these lessons w me in practice.

Some quotes I really did like throughout—

“In medicine-as in daily life- we knew him best. That knowledge gave us the confidence to talk with his doctors as partners, not merely as interested bystanders. We'd learned to speak the language of medicine, but it was just as important that we were listened to as well!”

“I’m reminded how much we take our humanity for granted too. The full extent of our kindness—the caring we all possess, the empathy we all can feel—is almost never seen until situations demand it.”

“Mary knew the secret strength that children have—and that adults too often lack— a remarkable ability to look past the surface, without implications or inference, and see things for what they are. She understood that kids needed to know the truth; that fear came from not knowing.”

[Kylie Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Appreciated the parent perspective in this book as someone who works with cardiac babies. ♥️ I’ll always admire the strength of our heart warrior families.

[Lyen Birks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I would need tissues for the tragedy that would inevitably occur at the end of the book. Reached for the box much earlier than expected, as I was caught off guard by the small and beautiful moments of humanity embedded throughout this book. It reminded me of what wonderful goodness and ingenuity people are capable of.

[Katarina Stano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having a daughter with a single ventricle heart, this book, this life, resonates with me on a level not many can understand. And yet, this book is for everyone willing to look at Life beyond counting years. Navigating a journey between a fragile life and an inevitable death has never been more beautifully written. At least not to my knowledge.