If You Knew Me

by Anne Roiphe

Headed into midlife, biologist Leah takes leave from her job to spend the winter at her beach house. She meets Ollie, a high school teacher, and they fall in love. To make a commitment, each must compromise, reveal secrets, and face a personal crisis that will redeem--or destroy--their love.

Genres: Fiction

Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

Over a four-decade career, Roiphe has proven so prolific that the critic Sally Eckhoff observed, "tracing Anne Roiphe's career often feels like following somebody through a revolving door: the requirements of keeping the pace can be trying." (Eckhoff described the writer as "a free-thinking welter of contradictions, a never-say-die feminist who's absolutely nuts about children"). Roiphe published her first novel, Digging Out, in 1967. Her second, Up The Sandbox (1970), became a national best-seller and made the author's career.

Roiphe has since published seven novels and two memoirs, while contributing essays and reviews to The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, New York Magazine, and others. In 1993, The New York Times described her as "a writer who has never toed a party line, feminist or otherwise." Her 1996 memoir Fruitful A memoir of Modem Motherhood was nominated for the National Book Award

From 1997 to 2002, she served as a columnist for The New York Observer. Her memoir Epilogue was published in 2008, and another memoir, Art and Madness, in 2011.

Reviews

[Julie Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Knew Me by Ann Rouffe
Research scientist takes a year long sabbatical for one year. She meets a man and his disabled daughter.
Leah, over 30 is at the beach house in the winter. Ollie cares for his sister Sally.
They spend time together getting to know each other. Love the detailed descriptions of her walking on the beach, as if I am there. it's so explicit.
They each like to be alone but find companionship with one another also.
Like the talk of the book classics as that is what he teaches...
Fear and other emotions when Sally runs away, to the water. Secrets he kept from everybody that brings them all closer together.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).

[Angeles · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is something wholly compelling about both the author's style and the story being told.

Perhaps it is my own chosen lifestyle, my capability of throwing without a life companion, and my desire to enjoy living my life despite not checking all of the boxes my loved ones think should be checked.

The thoughts expressed by the main characters were refreshing. No overly beautiful words and phrases, just thoughts a normal person has from time to time, expressed without beautification.

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story about two 40-somethings who develop a relationship but don't trust love because of their "secrets". The style is minimalist and dialogues between Leah and her friends provide insight into her personality; Ollie's lesson plans do the same for him. Plot is minimal, relationships and interactions are prime. A thoughtful, interesting book.

[Brittany Williamson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Strange story. Lyrical, though the metaphor was a bit lost on me.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty flat and unexciting main characters even though they were the entire of focus of the book. Also, for a book centered around the romance of these two people there it was hard to understand why they actually got and stayed together. Not to mention the main character's super hateful and ugly descriptions of the love interest's sister... I just found it pretty gross. I didn't hate this book but there weren't really any redeeming qualities besides it being short.

[Therese Wiese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scientist meets schoolteacher and his sister. What attracts people? What makes them fall in love? I know the other Good reads reviews are all over the place in their ratings, but I thought this book was very good.

[Margie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The biggest problem I had with this book was with one of the main character's inner monologue - I found it revolting, though I don't think the author intended it to be.

[Marvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

A forgettable love story about two forty-ish people who find love for the first time & have to find the courage to follow through.

[Radhika Grover Gupta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Liked the details about a family adjusting to an autistic child and the insight into the child's feelings and her adjustment to the rest of the world around her...