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Tell Me I'm Here: One Family's Experience of Schizophrenia

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Writer, broadcaster, filmmaker, and a founder of the National Schizophrenia Australia Organization, Anne Deveson writes her own deeply personal story of her teenage son's experience of schizophrenia and a mother's realization of her child's insanity.

The book won Australia's 1991 Human Rights Nonfiction Award.

Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

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About the author

Anne Deveson

13 books7 followers
Anne Deveson was a writer, broadcaster and documentary filmmaker with a long involvement in human rights issues. She was born in Kuala Lumpur; spent her childhood moving between Malaysia, Britain and Australia, then worked as a journalist for the BBC and the London bureau of the New York Times. In Australia, she became the first woman to run her own daily current affairs radio program. In 1974, she was appointed a Royal Commissioner with the Royal Commission on Human Relationships and in 1978, a founding member of the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board.

She was Chair of the South Australian Film Corporation and Executive Director of the Australian Film, Television and Radio School. She has made numerous award winning television and radio documentaries including several films in Africa and Asia which have won her three UN Media Peace Awards. In 1993 she was made an Officer of the Order of Australia for services to the media and to mental health. She also holds several honorary doctorates.

Her writing includes the internationally acclaimed Tell Me I'm Here, which won the 1991 Human Rights Award for non-fiction. She has also written Australian at Risk, Faces of Change and Coming of Age.

Her first novel, Lines in the Sand, draws from Deveson's own experiences and is a passionate story of loyalty, courage and the human spirit.

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5 stars
275 (49%)
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196 (35%)
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69 (12%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
Profile Image for Diane in Australia.
739 reviews17 followers
October 29, 2018
Excellent book about an unbearable tragedy. Anne pours out her heart in such a raw, simple, honest manner. How she withstood all that she went through is awe inspiring. I'm so glad Jonathan had a mum like Anne. His life was a living hell, and he never found the way back ... if there is a way ... to his 'normal' life. Finally, his pain brought him down that lonely path so many tortured folks walk ... suicide.

The book covers from when it first became apparent that Jonathan was 'sick', and carries you through to his suicide. What his precious mother (and sister and brother) went through is unthinkable. How do you watch your son literally lose his mind? And then when you try to get help for him, no one will help.

"The policeman rings the hospital. I can hear a voice, the other end, a crackly sound. The policeman relays the medical message: Doctor says, why can’t he stay with his mum and come in tomorrow morning?

I am dumbfounded.

The policeman answers for me: Because he’s been frightening his mum and acting strange.

The phone goes crackle, crackle. The policeman says: Doctor asks, what’s wrong?

Schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia, says the policeman. He listens. Doctor says, there’s no such thing as schizophrenia."

"I felt as if this was some monstrous endurance test, which would never end."

"Jonathan came in through the windows in the downstairs front room. He was crazy… When Jonathan became psychotic, the level of discordant energy was so immense that I could feel him approaching minutes before he actually arrived. Several times I would wake in the middle of the night with the hair on my arms standing on edge and know that Jonathan was somewhere near. Here was Jonathan on this blue and white November morning, telling me that he had decided to kill me."

"I do not want to write this book. I find it painful… It scratches old wounds so they have no chance to heal. I am sick of the word schizophrenia. I am sick of madness."


I can't recommend this book highly enough. It touched my heart deeply. I loved this book.

5 Stars = It made a significant impact. I won't forget it.
Profile Image for Marilyn.
19 reviews1 follower
January 28, 2011
This book is a moving and at times heartbreaking account of Australian broadcaster Anne Deveson's experience as she attempts to support her son Jonathan in his struggle with schizophrenia. It is also very informative because she talks about her time travelling through North America, attending conferences and speaking with researchers as well as other parents who are, or have been, in a similar situation. She paints a grim picture of Australia in the 1970s & 1980s in terms of the lack of funding, resources and support for the mentally ill. She does note that things are changing for the better (the book was published in 1991) and people are more aware and more accepting of mental illness. I'd recommend this book to anyone.
Profile Image for Jodie.
111 reviews15 followers
November 30, 2009
This is a fabulous book that I have read a couple of times. I learnt such a lot about schizophrenia and about a mothers love. I must read this again as I am sure that now I am in a different stage of life I will see it differently again.
107 reviews4 followers
April 12, 2019
This book was brought to me a fortnight after I learnt my eldest son had died. I knew of Anne Deveson's heart wrenching experience as the mother of a son with schizophrenia. Anne had been very public in early 1990s, giving her account via television, radio and newsprint. She wanted to talk loudly about issues concerning mental health, which up until then had only been mentioned in hushed tones or not at all. I recall sitting up and taking notice of this courageous woman with her tragic story. In making the story of Jonathan very public, Anne managed through relentless lobbying, to make everything so much better for sufferers and their families.
I believe that the care and the community support networks that made my own son's life so much better and richer can be directly attributed to the efforts made by Anne Deveson.
When this book was handed to me, my immediate response was "this is much too soon". But I was urged to give it a try. I read the first page and could not put it down. It was in the whole a comforting read, because it gave to me the sense of a shared experience. Only a mother could really know what it's like to have a child unwell in such a way.
Profile Image for Olwen.
786 reviews14 followers
May 23, 2016
How do you cope as you see someone you love descend into madness. Especially when it's a child. A special kind of pain I think. I felt so much for the author and for her son as she describes the last few years of his life from diagnosis through to death. Somehow, it's compelling reading; even though you already know the story doesn't end well, there's precious little respite from the insanity. That things are just going to get worse.

It's uncomfortable when the author is scathing of some practitioner's well meaning but ineffective efforts to help.

It's also distressing to realise that the current de-institutionalisation of mental health services is leaving so many sufferers without a support structure to hold them. To contain them from hurting themselves and their families.
Profile Image for Dilly Dalley.
143 reviews10 followers
October 4, 2012
I found that this book works as it is intended. It is as advertised 'a deeply personal story' and yet because Anne Deveson tells it without drama and sentimentality I came away feeling like I had shared something. I also learnt something about her life and the life of her son who was suffering from mental illness. I felt that she wanted me to understand and be changed by the experience of reading her life story; and I was. I was certainly much more thoughtful of the rights of people suffering from schizophrenia and much more questioning about the government policies towards mental illness.
Profile Image for Alysha Cowell.
9 reviews2 followers
March 23, 2021
One of the best books I’ve ever read on the topic of mental illness and it’s systematic mismanagement
Profile Image for lisey.
80 reviews
December 30, 2023
this book was really hard for me to read - hence the protracted reading time. i didn't want to finish it because i knew how it would end. it was hard to finish it today but i did not want to bring it into 2024 with me. i need to keep thinking on it - but this book captures what it is like to love and lose a family member to schizophrenia so well - in a world where schizophrenia is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatised conditions. the compounding force of the complexities of the disease itself, combined with the unique indifference of policy and healthcare systems creates an experience that is almost unbearable for the person themselves, and their family. i sent my younger self a lot of love today, and hope it reaches them somewhere in the universe.
Profile Image for Laura.
1 review6 followers
July 15, 2013
"Tell me I'm here" is by far the most insightful story I have ever had the pleasure to read. It is devastating in parts, but in some it is also hopeful. It is truthful and interesting, shedding a new light on mental illness and the significance of mental illness in society. The personal approach highlights all the stigma surrounding mental illness and how it is treated by health professionals. Definitely made me, personally, look at the way I view mental illness and made me much more open-minded. Great read, would recommend to absolutely anyone, as everyone needs to understand that mental illness, in particular Schizophrenia, is not something to be ignored, treated as less debilitating than any physical illness, or frowned upon.
Author 10 books
March 31, 2019
In the 1970s and into the 1980s, before communities were ready with services to cope with demand, deinstitutionalisation was carried out in the mental health area. These resulted in the neglect of people with severe mental health issues, leading to homelessness, abuse of medications, and even gaol.

Anne Deveson’s son, Jonathan, fell ill with a mental illness during these years. In her book, ‘Tell Me I’m Here’, she describes what it was like as a mother to have a child descend into madness during those times. She was unable to find help, or even a diagnosis for many years. , and many of them had side-effects. One doctor said it was schizophrenia, and another declared there was no such thing! When Jonathan became violent, her only option was to call the police, who often did not come, or when they eventually did, Jonathan had calmed down. A coercive intervention was not possible, and Anne bounced from one doctor to another, seeking help that was not available.

After revealing many of these and similar events, Anne writes, ‘I felt as if this was some monstrous endurance test, which would never end.’

We come to know both Anne and Jonathan as they live with and alongside mental illness. Anne shows her son as more than his illness. He is intelligent, playful, funny and tender. We see Anne as more than the public writer, researcher and broadcaster we knew. She is first and foremost a mother, with three children, one of whom needs her help. She loves her son, and he loves “Anne’ as he calls her, but there are times Jonathan sees his mother, as ‘the devil’, and these are the times he tries to harm her.

As one who had some experience of the lack of help with mental health issues in the 1970s, I understood a little of what Anne faced. It would not have been easy for her to write this book. At one point, well into the book, she says, ‘I do not want to write this book. I find it painful. It scratches old wounds so they have no chance to heal. I am sick of the word “schizophrenia”. I am sick of madness.’

In 2007, Anne wrote an afterword to her book, mentioning the improvements and treatments for schizophrenia. However, it remains one of the most serious of the mental illnesses and one that would be hard for any family member to bear, along with the sufferers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for John Gilbert.
1,396 reviews217 followers
August 16, 2018
Wonderful, tragic, a must read, especially if there is anyone with mental illness in your life.
4,073 reviews84 followers
January 27, 2022
Tell Me I’m Here: One Family’s Experience With Schizophrenia by Anne Deveson (Penguin Books 1991) (616.89) (3614).

“[M]ost people have little idea what happens when someone you love goes mad, of the maelstroms that can engulf you. I believe there is still a distressing gap between the professional perception of living with schizophrenia and the actual experience of what occurs.” Anne Deveson, Tell Me I’m Here: One Family’s Experience With Schizophrenia (p.260).

This is a horrible, terrible, beautiful story of the life of author Anne Deveson’s son Jonathan. The saga is gripping. From the onset of his schizophrenia as a mid-teen until he burned out, the book chronicles his mother’s doomed fight to protect her son from himself when he would not or could not do so. He died as he lived, filthy and homeless; he was unreached, unrepentant, and unsuccessfully served by the mental health community.

Setting this story to paper must have been cathartic. The author’s description of her son’s descent into madness and the total collapse of any sense of normalcy within the family made the ordeal terrifying.

I was dismayed by the mother’s failure to protect Jonathan’s two younger siblings from the worst behaviors of a historically dangerous and often psychotic older brother. There is no way that these two siblings made it out unscathed, but hey, this is the mother’s and brother’s story, not theirs.

My rating: 7.25/10, finished 1/16/22 (3614).

Profile Image for Yumiko Tsuji.
78 reviews2 followers
April 23, 2024
The book is centered around the author's son, who was diagnosed with severe schizophrenia. I came across it while reading "The One Thing We've Never Spoken About: Exposing Our Untold Mental Health Crisis". The writing is incredibly powerful and is one of the best non-fiction books I have read so far. The author is a well-known journalist and filmmaker, and her expertise in writing and communication is evident in the book. Her first-hand experience of living with a person with a mental illness is both powerful and honest. I admire her bravery in sharing her painful memories of her son.

The book was written over thirty years ago, but unfortunately, it is still very relevant to the current situation of the health system and social welfare towards mental illness in Australia. The situation has not improved much over the years. The book says that "deinstitutionalization has dumped people from hospital to family or out on the streets without any proper support." This is still the case today. Recently, there was a mass killing by a person with a schizophrenic history in Australia and the Australian Government have promised to conduct a national inquiry into the events leading up to the incident. Hopefully, the inquiry will lead to constructive solutions for improving mental health systems in Australia.
Profile Image for Liz.
230 reviews1 follower
February 15, 2019
I was keen to read this book, as I have a brother with schizophrenia. The author has encapsulated the experience amazingly well, and I have highlighted some passages in my copy that are uncanny in their similarity to our family's experiences. The book also a valuable insight into the experiences of a person with schizophrenia and their family in the late 1970s/1980s - how much has changed, and yet how little has changed. Thankfully, police response times are shorter than 2-4 hours now (!!) and parents do not have to contend with absurd theories of too little/too much love causing the condition of schizophrenia. Unfortunately, the issues regarding access to treatment, particularly hospitalisation when symptoms escalate, persist to this day. I was disappointed that this book was not easily sourced - I found my copy on Fishpond, but couldn't get it through the library service in my (state capital) city or Australian book retailer sites otherwise. This is a book written with great compassion and insight, and would prove to be a valuable resource for anyone wanting to enhance their knowledge about living with mental illness - it should be more readily available.
Profile Image for Kirsten.
43 reviews2 followers
September 13, 2018
This book gives you a great insight of the effect schizophrenia has on a family. It also makes you disgust the policies around the mentally ill. Anne often describes situations in which her son is psychotic and neither policer nor hospital will help her as he hasn't harmed anyone yet. It made me realise that policies are made by politicians and are not made to really help people.

The unconditional love Anne has for her son is unbelievable as a non-mother, but the amount of judgements she deals with is easy to empathise with. People often tell her to cut herself off from her son and not be protective, but how can you tell a mother, not to be a mother anymore? This book is full of pain, fight and epiphanies about how easily we judge others.

I really recommend this book to people who want to read something different for a change and would like to see life from a whole different perspective.
Profile Image for Jennifer Rolfe.
407 reviews9 followers
December 29, 2018
I skimmed through this book not long after it came out and realized I had forgotten most of the details of it. I have put off re-reading it because I have been drowning in the responsibility of dealing with two of my sons who have schizophrenia. They have a different father than their older siblings who do not suffer from this frightful illness.
Reading this again I realized that what I am still dealing with 27 years after this book came out are all the same issues as Anne dealt with back in 1991, especially the hopeless situation of dealing with institutions and the people employed by those institutions who have total power over deciding what can or more likely, what cannot be done for your child. They really have a very limited understanding of what is going on with someone suffering from this disease and believe that discipline is the answer.
Profile Image for Donna.
926 reviews10 followers
May 17, 2017
An intense memoir written by an Australian mother about her experience of watching her son spiral into schizophrenia and being able to do very little about it. Sadly, the frustration she felt at not being able to get her son help is something that continues to be an issue now and in the US as well. When patients are psychotic and unable to recognize it, they cannot be treated unless they choose to and they remain psychotic. It causes so many problems in the lives of patients that they loose significant quality of life. In this case it led to the son's death. It was amazing how many times his family was physically threatened when he was psychotic, and yet it was not sufficient to legally force his treatment. The memoir is brutally honest, and the author's pain and loss is deeply felt.
1 review
August 24, 2020
I read this book when it was first published..actually I read it several times. At this time we had a very close family member battling his very own inner -demons. I couldn't bieleve how close to home it actually hit, i could feel just about every emotion that Anne Deveson had written about her struggles with her son. It wasn't like reading a book it was almost like someone narrating our lives and the struggles we were going through. It was an amazing book( unfortunately I lent it to someone and never got it back.) Now that I have finally tracked down the Title and the Author I'm definitely buying another copy. I highly recommend this book, it's raw but gives insight into the sad and terrifying world of mental illness.
11 reviews
May 14, 2020
I read this book for a Grade 7 book review because my Mum (a mental health professional) had it on her shelf. My English teacher didn't believe I had read it, and then when she finally believed me I think she wanted to call child services on my behalf. I remember thinking at the time, what she thought I should be reading? Those Harry Potter books were no less dark in parts. I remember this book being an eye-opener, and came away with a sense of empathy and appreciation of the meaning of unconditional love. I think if more teenagers read frank accounts of families dealing with mental illness that perhaps the stigma around mental health as a barrier for getting help would be a lot less.
41 reviews
September 15, 2018
I struggled with this saga, in fact almost gave up after putting it aside a couple of times and came back after finishing another novel. It’s very depressing, sad and dark. While the message about the need to update and review legislation for schizophrenia patients is clear and important it does drag on as it delves into various studies and extensive research. I skimmed through several pages that were difficult to read and persevered despite the boredom. The insight into family life and experiences with schizophrenia were often disturbing and brutally honest.
Profile Image for David O'Connell.
151 reviews
October 30, 2025
5.0

One of the most harrowing and powerful pieces of non-fiction I've ever read. The sadness and overwhelming chaos that engulfed this woman and her family's life for so long, day after day - I've no idea how she endured and survived it all without going mad.
35 years later this page-turning memoir is just as relevant in illuminating the damage schizophrenia wrecks on those afflicted with it and those who come into direct contact with it via loved ones. Hopefully treatment and diagnosis are far more advanced, inclusive and humane today.
Profile Image for Jen.
41 reviews
April 1, 2018
I read a new edition which thankfully spoke of some improvements in the treatment and care of schizophrenia in the afterword. This is a harrowing autobiography of a mother's journey with her son into the world of schizophrenia. The author is informative, honest and her reflections pierce your soul A truly insightful novel
Profile Image for David Derbyshire.
24 reviews
October 25, 2025
WOW! WOW! WOW! A book to cover the story of schizophrenia, written by the mother of a sufferer. It would be a good piece of fiction but as it`s real life, it`s fantastic. Poor Anne, a brave soul who fought for her son anyway she could. To think this effects millions of people everyday is a tad scary. To read this book is a genuine way to gain knowledge.
39 reviews2 followers
November 29, 2022
This story is heart wrenching, but so important to read. Whilst the story spans from late 1970s to mid 1980s, I know that Anne’s story as a mother of a child with mental illness is still being lived by parents in 2022. Anne shared her story with such rawness and truth, and so much despair.
Profile Image for Angela .
278 reviews2 followers
February 13, 2023
A brutally honest and heart breaking story 💔

It was written in 1991. These stats were shocking.
An afterword - written in 1998 - highlighted “the black holes that still remain”.
I wonder what it’s like now in 2023. I’m blessed that I don’t have the experience to know.

“Of our mental health expenditure in Australia, seventy-five per cent still goes into hospitals and only twenty five per cent into community care where ninety per cent of people with a serious mental illness are treated. As a result most community health services are underfunded, inadequate or non- existent, and sick people and their families are bearing the brunt.

“Involuntary treatment will always present us with a difficult dilemma. But when someone is acutely ill and denying help, I believe we have a responsibility to ensure their safety and, beyond this, to ensure that they have some chance of getting well. It may be that this can come about through involuntary treatment within the community; it may be better handled in hospital. We should not be wasting time on ideological arguments, in which where we treat mentally ill people becomes more important than how we treat them. What is needed is a comprehensive range of services, including suitable places for them to live.

“Ten to fifteen per cent of people with schizophrenia kill themselves within the first five years of diagnosis.
Profile Image for Caitlin Arnoldi.
105 reviews
June 11, 2023
Found this book in the second-hand bookstore and was previously owned by Matt Taberner's girlfriend, probably for her English class because it was full of annotations. I thoroughly enjoyed the read, it was so comprehensive and had so many layers to it.
Profile Image for kiz.
24 reviews
July 14, 2025
very eye opening and such a wonderful but tragic story. reading about how hard it was back then knowing there’s been change since is very inspiring. heart goes out to everyone that has or knows someone with schizophrenia.
Profile Image for Mark Anthony.
Author 3 books14 followers
June 15, 2021
I read this book many times. Annes story is touching, confronting and at times also humorous! It is written so well. Like having someone tell you a deeply personal story. You can't not listen.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews

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