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Groomed
An uncle who went too far.
A mother who didn't care.
A little girl who waited years for justice.
In 1950s and '60s Dundee, the only ray of light in little Laurie's life came from the man who would return home with pockets full of sweets and bags of toys. Uncle Andrew would shower Laurie with attention and love, capture the hearts of everyone around him - and carefully groom her for years of abuse by not only himself, but also by a network of paedophiles.
Laurie tells a harrowing story of isolation, as her abusers went to extraordinary lengths to carry out their sick acts, wearing masks to confuse and torment her and keeping her away from other children. But these evil men had no idea that the girl they systematically violated would turn into one of the country's leading child protection experts, and that their legacy would give her the impetus to change the lives of so many innocent victims.
A mother who didn't care.
A little girl who waited years for justice.
In 1950s and '60s Dundee, the only ray of light in little Laurie's life came from the man who would return home with pockets full of sweets and bags of toys. Uncle Andrew would shower Laurie with attention and love, capture the hearts of everyone around him - and carefully groom her for years of abuse by not only himself, but also by a network of paedophiles.
Laurie tells a harrowing story of isolation, as her abusers went to extraordinary lengths to carry out their sick acts, wearing masks to confuse and torment her and keeping her away from other children. But these evil men had no idea that the girl they systematically violated would turn into one of the country's leading child protection experts, and that their legacy would give her the impetus to change the lives of so many innocent victims.
271 pages, Paperback
First published May 10, 2012
25 people are currently reading
1843 people want to read
About the author
Laurie Matthew
16 books12 followersLaurie Matthew is an internationally recognized campaigner against violence and in support of both young people and adults who are being abused.
Her publications include age-appropriate resources for working with young children, collections of survivors writing and Books on how to help people currently in danger or who had have escaped from ritual abuse or other forms of violence. Laurie runs charities 18 and Up, and Izzy's Promise.
She is a survivor of child sexual abuse, emotional abuse and ritual abuse. Her autobiographical book Groomed describes her upbringing.
Her publications include age-appropriate resources for working with young children, collections of survivors writing and Books on how to help people currently in danger or who had have escaped from ritual abuse or other forms of violence. Laurie runs charities 18 and Up, and Izzy's Promise.
She is a survivor of child sexual abuse, emotional abuse and ritual abuse. Her autobiographical book Groomed describes her upbringing.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
May 2, 2020
This book was so shocking. What made it different from most of the other books I read is that some of the abuse Laurie suffered with was satanic abuse. I’ve heard about it but never read it about it from a person who has experienced it. I’m so glad she got justice against her horrible uncle. I just wish it was longer. It was well written and Laurie was very informative and the book would help people if they had or were going through the same thing she is.
January 24, 2014
I believe I have said this before but I will say it again: I read too many of these types of books to be considered healthy. Ask my husband; I am always reading these horrific true stories of abuse out of morbid curiosity. But I think maybe it is good that I do, because I feel much more aware of the dangers that are out there than I ever was before, and when and if I have children, you can best believe that I will be more careful than I would have been before.
That being said, this one will stick with me for a while. I like that she not only had the courage to tell her story, but she made her life dedicated to those who are in similar positions as she once was. Very inspirational. Also, I like that between telling her story, she also explains some of the sociological and psychological implications about paedophilia, which is eye opening and important for society as a whole.
Heart-wrenching, disturbing, and increasingly angering, this is one to be remembered.
I am donating it to my local RSPCA branch so the money can go to charity and so that someone else will be able to read this story.
That being said, this one will stick with me for a while. I like that she not only had the courage to tell her story, but she made her life dedicated to those who are in similar positions as she once was. Very inspirational. Also, I like that between telling her story, she also explains some of the sociological and psychological implications about paedophilia, which is eye opening and important for society as a whole.
Heart-wrenching, disturbing, and increasingly angering, this is one to be remembered.
I am donating it to my local RSPCA branch so the money can go to charity and so that someone else will be able to read this story.
September 9, 2014
Laurie runs charity Izzy's promise in Dundee and helps others escape from and heal after extreme trauma - especially ritual abuse. She talks about emotional and physical abuse at home and attachment issues/neglect and basic survival in working class Scotland in the 1950s.
Laurie describes her childhood and her uncle's grooming, including him sending her to be abused by friends of his, and most likely arranging for her to be abused in a ritual setting. Laurie does not have DID or recovered memories so she has had to live with this knowledge for almost all her life.
Laurie describes her childhood and her uncle's grooming, including him sending her to be abused by friends of his, and most likely arranging for her to be abused in a ritual setting. Laurie does not have DID or recovered memories so she has had to live with this knowledge for almost all her life.
August 27, 2012
i was amazed of how this brave this young child was and to then grow up to write her story of an abusive uncle and a mother and father who didnt care. in some ways it brought back a few memories of my own from start to finish i wept for the lost child hood of Laurie Mathews
July 25, 2012
To say that I "liked" this book is incorrect. It's a horrific story of carefully planned abuse that began when the author was too small to understand what was going on. Instead of feeling hurt or betrayed, she craved the love and attention that her uncle gave her, unaware of his plans for her. Unfortunately, he didn't just abuse her, he set her up for a lifetime of abuse and turned her over to other people to abuse, as well.
While Laurie did grow up to help others who have been abused, her experiences gave her a unique perspective and one that no child should ever have.
While Laurie did grow up to help others who have been abused, her experiences gave her a unique perspective and one that no child should ever have.
August 24, 2014
It seems wrong, with this kind of story, to say that you enjoyed it or didn't enjoy it.
It's a gut-wrenching story of child abuse, and the amazing woman who survived the horror of her childhood.
I've read many of these types of books, but I just didn't like the way this one was written. It didn't bring out feelings of horror, shock or outrage. I had no real feel for the main character. For me, it was just words written on a page.
September 29, 2012
Absolutely amazing lady. Amazing book in the sense of her being so brave, and sharing her horrific story. And then going on to help others.
March 11, 2014
I do not like the way the autor writes, she repeats herself too often and has a habit to overuse words. It feels a bit messy at some point too.
To the story itself, of course its a heavy topic, unbelievable how all this could happen and even worse to think it still happens somewhere. I am glad she found "love" later in life. I have a million questions running through my mind after reading this book, all starting with "how..". I hope Laurie will find true happiness.
To the story itself, of course its a heavy topic, unbelievable how all this could happen and even worse to think it still happens somewhere. I am glad she found "love" later in life. I have a million questions running through my mind after reading this book, all starting with "how..". I hope Laurie will find true happiness.
December 31, 2012
This book is an "amazing read" and is an horrific tale of child neglect and how in her search for love, little Lorraine had terrible abuse heaped upon her from a very young age by an uncle who was the only one in her family to show her any 'love'. I am glad that Laurie finally got justice. She is a very brave woman indeed.
August 12, 2014
This is an amazing story about the ritual abuse this little girl went thru and survived. I was surprised at the lack of damage it did to her. I wish she would have taken the chance and gone after all the others who abused her also. They were left free to abuse others. How can that be right?! I did find the author repeating herself quite regularly and she even contradicted herself a time or two.
March 4, 2014
I really enjoyed every single chapter of this book. Unbelievable and horrific story about a wee kid who had been prepared to be abused by his uncle, a mum who didn't love her and many breathtaking stories.
Definitely recommended to those people who are ready to get into such a hard story.
Definitely recommended to those people who are ready to get into such a hard story.
February 28, 2015
A very hard subject, beautifully written. It's very hard to say that I enjoyed the book, because of it's subject matter, but I did. I loved the way a very delicate subject was treated and came out in the end - justice gained - a strong woman survived and is helping others now...
January 24, 2016
Strong account of abuse
Having read a lot of child abuse books, I have to say I found this very hard to understand. How can abuse children so young and too such an extent? Very brave lady to tell her story.
Having read a lot of child abuse books, I have to say I found this very hard to understand. How can abuse children so young and too such an extent? Very brave lady to tell her story.
June 30, 2012
Shocking story
January 7, 2014
Hard to say I enjoyed this book because it is so disturbing. I would not suggest people read it if they have young children but my heart goes out to these poor children abused.
January 14, 2014
Very disturbing. I actually decided not to finish it as it was too upsetting- but have given this rating on what I did read.
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March 23, 2014i wanna read it again
October 30, 2015
This story was well written but really sad. I felt for the little girl she basically had no one on planet earth to care whether she lived or died other than her little sister.
October 23, 2012
Disturbing.....Moving....
February 29, 2020
I've not read a book from this genre for a while and I forgot how involved I become in them! Straight away I feel for the author and all that they have had to go through.
It's easy to read this book and wonder how it could all have been allowed to happen, but you have to remember that they were very different times back then. The safeguarding and protection for children that is in place now wasn't thought of then. No-one would have thought twice about suggesting a friend of the family sleep in same room as a child, but now it wouldn't even be considered.
This book clearly shows how the mind of a paedophile works. To Laurie, a 4-8 year old child at the time, this was just a family member showing her love and affection that nobody else showed her. He searched her out as being vulnerable and lonely and preyed on that. She craved love, attention and affection and he gave her that. In her eyes he was doing no wrong. It is only with hindsight and an adults perspective that she can see him for what he truly is - a man who was cold, calculated and manipulative in his grooming and abuse, who broke her trust in so many ways, whilst making her believe she was responsible for everything that was happening to her.
It's a very sad state of affairs when a child truly believes that "rape was just something that happened to me" and "the abuse became standard in my life". My heart broke reading that - no child should ever think that. I sat in tears, crying for the child Laurie was - for what she endured when she should have had a happy carefree childhood. The extent of the premeditated abuse she suffered at the hands of her uncle and others is truly heartbreaking (and I am sickened to read of her mother caring more about protecting her own reputation than protecting her daughters from being sexually abused - "he's just missing his wife" is no excuse!!).
I am sorry that the network of abusers have got away with their actions and have not been brought to justice. The only consolation is that she has come out the other side and now works to protect children against exactly this type of abuse. Laurie I am sorry for all that happened to you, I am proud of you for getting through it, and I applaud you for working everyday to protect other innocent children from suffering the same fate.
It's easy to read this book and wonder how it could all have been allowed to happen, but you have to remember that they were very different times back then. The safeguarding and protection for children that is in place now wasn't thought of then. No-one would have thought twice about suggesting a friend of the family sleep in same room as a child, but now it wouldn't even be considered.
This book clearly shows how the mind of a paedophile works. To Laurie, a 4-8 year old child at the time, this was just a family member showing her love and affection that nobody else showed her. He searched her out as being vulnerable and lonely and preyed on that. She craved love, attention and affection and he gave her that. In her eyes he was doing no wrong. It is only with hindsight and an adults perspective that she can see him for what he truly is - a man who was cold, calculated and manipulative in his grooming and abuse, who broke her trust in so many ways, whilst making her believe she was responsible for everything that was happening to her.
It's a very sad state of affairs when a child truly believes that "rape was just something that happened to me" and "the abuse became standard in my life". My heart broke reading that - no child should ever think that. I sat in tears, crying for the child Laurie was - for what she endured when she should have had a happy carefree childhood. The extent of the premeditated abuse she suffered at the hands of her uncle and others is truly heartbreaking (and I am sickened to read of her mother caring more about protecting her own reputation than protecting her daughters from being sexually abused - "he's just missing his wife" is no excuse!!).
I am sorry that the network of abusers have got away with their actions and have not been brought to justice. The only consolation is that she has come out the other side and now works to protect children against exactly this type of abuse. Laurie I am sorry for all that happened to you, I am proud of you for getting through it, and I applaud you for working everyday to protect other innocent children from suffering the same fate.
November 15, 2025
Groomed is Laurie Matthew’s searing memoir of her childhood in 1950s–1960s Dundee, Scotland — a childhood marked by abuse, neglect, and betrayal. Laurie grows up in a home with an emotionally distant and physically violent mother, a father who is absent in all but name, and siblings she feels responsible for protecting. Amid this instability, her Uncle Andrew appears as a kind, generous figure: he returns from the army with sweets and toys, lavishes her with attention, and seems to be the one adult who cares. But his kindness hides a terrifying secret.
Andrew grooms Laurie carefully over many years. As she becomes more dependent on him, she’s introduced into a horrifying network of paedophiles. In her darkest memories, Laurie describes being abused by him and others — sometimes under the guise of “Uncle Andrew,” but often by masked figures, making her doubt who was really there. 
Laurie recounts the long years of silence, isolation, and confusion. Her abusers go to extraordinary lengths to control her: masks, manipulation, and enforced secrecy become part of her lived reality. Meanwhile, her mother largely ignores her suffering, seemingly more concerned with reputation than protecting her child. 
Eventually, Laurie finds her voice. She fights for justice, exposing not only her uncle but the broader paedophile network that terrorised her. But when Andrew is finally brought to account, he receives a surprisingly light sentence — something Laurie grapples with throughout the memoir as part of her journey of healing and activism.
Andrew grooms Laurie carefully over many years. As she becomes more dependent on him, she’s introduced into a horrifying network of paedophiles. In her darkest memories, Laurie describes being abused by him and others — sometimes under the guise of “Uncle Andrew,” but often by masked figures, making her doubt who was really there. 
Laurie recounts the long years of silence, isolation, and confusion. Her abusers go to extraordinary lengths to control her: masks, manipulation, and enforced secrecy become part of her lived reality. Meanwhile, her mother largely ignores her suffering, seemingly more concerned with reputation than protecting her child. 
Eventually, Laurie finds her voice. She fights for justice, exposing not only her uncle but the broader paedophile network that terrorised her. But when Andrew is finally brought to account, he receives a surprisingly light sentence — something Laurie grapples with throughout the memoir as part of her journey of healing and activism.
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June 10, 2025I'm someone who believes knowing the survivors stories is very important and I should hear and know their story but... this is a very, very, very hard book to read.
I can't even put in words what I am feeling. So heartbreaking, so depressing to think about all the children who stayed silent 50, 70 or 100 years ago because it wasn't something they could talk about.
I just... I'm speechless.
...
You have to be strong.
You have to be tough.
You have to cope with things.
You have to deal with things.
You have to be stronger than anyone else.
Only certain people survive – if you want to survive, be strong, be tough.
Only the strong will survive.
Only the tough will get through this.
If you want to get through this, be strong, be strong, be strong.
There was something missing at the centre of all of this for me. What was it that I had to get through? What was I to survive?
As time went on, I realised that they thought – or they pretended to think – that there was a battle looming. This day of judgement approaching made sense of their fighting analogies and notions that warriors were being made, whose strength would be tested. However, I was just a little girl, a raped and abused little girl, terrified and alone. I had no concept of Satan or the Devil; I had no wish to be part of any imaginary ultimate conflict between good and evil. I just wanted someone to love me without hurting me.
I can't even put in words what I am feeling. So heartbreaking, so depressing to think about all the children who stayed silent 50, 70 or 100 years ago because it wasn't something they could talk about.
I just... I'm speechless.
...
You have to be strong.
You have to be tough.
You have to cope with things.
You have to deal with things.
You have to be stronger than anyone else.
Only certain people survive – if you want to survive, be strong, be tough.
Only the strong will survive.
Only the tough will get through this.
If you want to get through this, be strong, be strong, be strong.
There was something missing at the centre of all of this for me. What was it that I had to get through? What was I to survive?
As time went on, I realised that they thought – or they pretended to think – that there was a battle looming. This day of judgement approaching made sense of their fighting analogies and notions that warriors were being made, whose strength would be tested. However, I was just a little girl, a raped and abused little girl, terrified and alone. I had no concept of Satan or the Devil; I had no wish to be part of any imaginary ultimate conflict between good and evil. I just wanted someone to love me without hurting me.
May 26, 2017
It feels almost wrong to 'rate' a book based on someone's own deeply disturbing personal experiences, but rate it I will.
This is the sad story of Laurie Matthew, who was systematically abused throughout her childhood, and went on to bring one of her abusers to justice, and provide plentiful support and advice for those in a similar situation to her. She used her terrible experiences for the greater good of others and seems to have come out the other side as a remarkable human being.
The reason I rated this only two stars, is because it was so very repetitive, with many chapters that were told in such a dull way that it was difficult to remain interested. I was invested in Laurie's story and so persevered until the end, but must admit I had to skim-read a few chunks as there was unnecessary detail which made it all drag.
On the whole though, it was nice to read a tragic life story with a largely positive outcome.
This is the sad story of Laurie Matthew, who was systematically abused throughout her childhood, and went on to bring one of her abusers to justice, and provide plentiful support and advice for those in a similar situation to her. She used her terrible experiences for the greater good of others and seems to have come out the other side as a remarkable human being.
The reason I rated this only two stars, is because it was so very repetitive, with many chapters that were told in such a dull way that it was difficult to remain interested. I was invested in Laurie's story and so persevered until the end, but must admit I had to skim-read a few chunks as there was unnecessary detail which made it all drag.
On the whole though, it was nice to read a tragic life story with a largely positive outcome.
April 30, 2022
I found this a really hard book to read but as I never read books like this I thought it was time to broaden my horizon.
The first thing I must say though is this book is really traumatic and how the author has had the bravery to write it is astounding.
It concerns how her uncle initially started to groom and then abuse her and then pass her onto loads and loads more paedophiles who had their own gross needs to be met. She was so submissive by then she had ritual abuse almost constantly. Then of course her uncle started on her smaller sister.
Her mother should have been jailed for all this too but by then (when Laurie went to the police) was dead.
I've had to read the book in one hit as I don't think I could pick it up again if I put it down.
Her story is horrendous but needs to be told to wake people up. Such a harrowing tale and I applaud her for being able to shed light on what sounds like a very small corner of her young life.
I will never forget this book.
The first thing I must say though is this book is really traumatic and how the author has had the bravery to write it is astounding.
It concerns how her uncle initially started to groom and then abuse her and then pass her onto loads and loads more paedophiles who had their own gross needs to be met. She was so submissive by then she had ritual abuse almost constantly. Then of course her uncle started on her smaller sister.
Her mother should have been jailed for all this too but by then (when Laurie went to the police) was dead.
I've had to read the book in one hit as I don't think I could pick it up again if I put it down.
Her story is horrendous but needs to be told to wake people up. Such a harrowing tale and I applaud her for being able to shed light on what sounds like a very small corner of her young life.
I will never forget this book.
January 18, 2022
The intro took a few weeks to get through mainly thanks to lack of time, so I considered DNF'ng it. Something about the writing style I didn't like. Lack of empathy and connection with Laurie for some reason. There's much emphasis on not telling the whole story, not going into detail and not being believed about ritual satanic abuse. I've read books about ritual abuse books before and I believe her about that part, I wish she went after more than one person, imagine there still being those people walking around and you don't have a clue. Not wanting to talk about it or draw attention to it keeps the whole experiense still in the dark and prolongs the silence. With her life experiences this could have been a 500 page book not even including specific details. Different ghost writer might have helped. I considered four stars, but final decision is three stars.
December 30, 2019
I don't know what to say but I must say something.
I am not proud to be a human being. Hate and fear is all around us and it is getting worse. Don't get me wrong I have lived, I am nearly 79, a sheltered life. I just fail to see how people can not believe about child abuse.
I found the middle part of the book hard to read and nearly gave up. I didn't and my advice to you is to read right through even if it makes you feel, as a human being, so dirty. What am I going to do about the issue? I have to confess I do not know but oh yes I believe.
I am not proud to be a human being. Hate and fear is all around us and it is getting worse. Don't get me wrong I have lived, I am nearly 79, a sheltered life. I just fail to see how people can not believe about child abuse.
I found the middle part of the book hard to read and nearly gave up. I didn't and my advice to you is to read right through even if it makes you feel, as a human being, so dirty. What am I going to do about the issue? I have to confess I do not know but oh yes I believe.
July 1, 2020
I don't really have anything nice to say about this one. If you want to read about horrible sexual abuse from a non-writer's perspective, with embellished memories from the time she was 3 until 7 years old, with a lot of repetition all the way thru, then go for it. I had a really hard time believing that someone can remember the intimate and intricate details from being 3 years old, and while I most definitely believe evil things happen, this book just seemed embellished to be more shocking to readers. Maybe I'm wrong, and this was 100% true, but I just don't know. It honestly bothered me.
April 21, 2020
This is yet another harrowing story of the physical,sexual,mental and emotional abuse that was and still sadly is inflicted on children. Despite the level of abuse that Laurie suffered it is a credit to her that she managed to not let it dictate the rest of her life into a downward spiral. She managed to achieve so much and has helped numerous people.
June 22, 2018
Very disturbing read.
July 27, 2018
GREAT BOOK.
THIS BOOK WAS HARD TO READ IN SOME PLACES, BUT IT IS VERY WELL WRITTEN & I COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN ONCE I GOT INTO IT
THIS BOOK WAS HARD TO READ IN SOME PLACES, BUT IT IS VERY WELL WRITTEN & I COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN ONCE I GOT INTO IT
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews