Fade to Light: How I learned to dissolve darkness

by J. S. Evans

In this memoir, Jessica tells the story of leaving her family to move away from a closed religious society that refers to itself as “The Truth.” The church gave her a rulebook for life that separated members of the Truth from the rest of society. Remaining inside the community was Good. Being outside the community—in Satan’s World—was Bad. The Truth keeps close records of all its members who are in Good standing. Jessica left that community via what the church calls a “fade.” Fading means a person moves frequently until no congregation is tracking their records. But finding her own way outside the religion left her with no rulebook. Only what was taught in the Truth—don’t trust Satan’s World. Out on her own she adopted one identity after another, seeking stability. First as an obsessive rock climber, committed spouse, then a yoga teacher, and a busy businessperson. The book follows her travels and adventures through all these identities until it’s clear what was needed most—to learn unconditional love. This love is very different from the love experienced in the Truth. As a child, love was experienced only if Good behaviour was maintained. Behaviour that was required to keep her family and her membership in The Truth. Eventually, she learned a different way of being herself. Set over 30 years, the story is engaging and fast paced. With Jessica’s candid writing style, you’ll feel like she’s talking to you directly. Pull up a chair. She’ll tell you her story firsthand.

281 pages, Paperback

Published February 18, 2023

Reviews

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredible. It’s inspiring it’s eye opening and it’s a beautiful piece to read to fall in love with yourself again

[Ritika Rakshit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very much believe in the serendipity of reading books at the right time of your life. Evans released the audiobook exactly at a low point in my life and her voice is exactly what I needed at the time.
I spent many mornings walking with my dog, hearing her story of self-love and acceptance to bring light and unconditional self-love back into my life.

Her story is for anybody who has grown up feeling they had to earn their worthiness to be loved, who were told they were wrong in being exactly who they were.
I resonated with being a Project Manager in this journey, and how much we think about life as our biggest project, in the same way.

I have started telling myself I love you, which is hard to do on days when I have not accomplished anything deserving of those words. Empowering, powerful and a wonderfully woven narrative - this book is for anybody who is going through a hard time and how to find your way out, one I love you at a time.