I Never Loved Your Mind

by Paul Zindel

At 17, Dewey Daniels is fed up with his boring high school and decides to drop out, taking a part-time job at Richmond Valley Hospital. one day he catches fellow dropout Yvette Goethals stealing hospital supplies, and it's lust at first sight.  But Yvette and Dewey are like night and she's a vegetarian and couldn't care less about a romantic commitment; he loves cheeseburgers and can't get Yvette out of his mind.  By the time these two get through with each other, will true love ever be the same?

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Coming Of Age, Childrens, Romance, Realistic Fiction, Teen

144 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1970

About the author

Paul Zindel was an American author, playwright and educator.

In 1964, he wrote The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds, his first and most successful play. The play ran off-Broadway in 1970, and on Broadway in 1971. It won the 1971 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It was also made into a 1972 movie by 20th Century Fox. Charlotte Zolotow, then a vice-president at Harper & Row (now Harper-Collins) contacted him to writing for her book label. Zindel wrote 39 books, all of them aimed at children or young adults. Many of these were set in his home town of Staten Island, New York. They tended to be semi-autobiographical, focusing on teenage misfits with abusive or neglectful parents. Despite the often dark subject matter of his books, which deal with loneliness, loss, and the effects of abuse, they are also filled with humor. Many of his novels have wacky titles, such as My Darling, My Hamburger, or Confessions of A Teenage Baboon.

The Pigman, first published in 1968, is widely taught in American schools, and also made it on to the list of most frequently banned books in America in the 1990s, because of what some deem offensive language.

Reviews

[Meg Powers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't going to bother reviewing this, but then saw a lot of negative reviews that seem to miss the point of the book. Dewey is incredibly unlikeable, yes. And he and Yvette are hypocrites, discussing things like racism but then practicing homophobia. It's partly the time this was written, but also, Zindel was really great at getting inside the minds of teens, and I don't see why the tone of a book written from the point of view of a 17 year old boy convinced of his own brilliance wouldn't be a bit insufferable. We're not supposed to cheer him on or anything, just get inside his head, and I do believe his character grows a little throughout. If we were really supposed to be convinced that Dewey was a likeable teen hero, for instance, Zindel wouldn't have had him relentlessly using the words "puerile" and "phantasmagorical" in many different combinations after bragging about his vocabulary and superior intelligence. Dewey is just another smart, arrogant kid in the process of reaching the maturity he thinks he's already experiencing.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, I admit that I am giving this 5 stars mostly because of pure nostalgia, but, although it is definitely a product of the early 70s, with all the requisite problematic elements of sexism and a bit of manic pixie dream girl, it is still a very good YA book. It is not a “pretty” story at all, and it doesn’t fall into the happy ending trap AT ALL. It is an uneasy book, with damaged and damaging characters. There are some heartbreakingly touching moments and imagery that I have accurately remembered, even almost 40 years after I first read this. I really love Paul Zindel’s work, and he deserves a spot in the YA Writers Hall of Fame.

[Amy Saia · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading The Pigman I knew Zindel was a master of teen voice, and though Dewey's narrative is more subtle it's no less observant. There's so much detail in the book, so much transposition of action into thought, filtering back into action again. Dewey misses nothing and often I wondered why he'd want to be with a witch like Yvette. She's completely annoying and has no interest in anyone but herself. Indeed, you can tell she's only going to bring disappointment, but still she becomes his quest. You see, Dewey is smart, genius in fact. Too smart for school, and too smart to fall for Yvette. But he's also very lonely.

In his boredom after quitting school, she becomes a new teacher of sorts, taking him places he'd never go, showing him things he'd never see. That's why he so captivated. She's the only thing left in the world that can reveal something new. But then he has to fall in love with her. The unlovable Yvette.

Zindel's writing is genius. I found myself alternating between laughing to scratching my head because of the insanely intelligent verbiage he came up with in harnessing Dewey's voice. But here's the thing--go read the title again: I Never Loved Your Mind. The one thing Dewey had was his intelligence. It was his shield, his deflector of everything harmful, painful, perhaps the one thing a girl like Yvette could love him for. You'll have to read to find out what happens to poor Dewey.

It really is a beautiful book. The cover fell off the vintage version I bought, so I'm using it as a bookmark during the second read. A true classic.

[Kye Alfred Hillig · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this once and just breezed through it. Zindel is a great pulp author that seems to have gone mostly unnoticed. A thrilling read, I loved watching the main character chase after this young woman and watch the kind of shit that he tumbles in because of it. Awesome! I would love to read more by him.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will never forget how Yvette is described with her long straight hair. Dewey says she moves her hair from her face like she's moving a curtain rod. I loved the visual then and I still remember it 30 years later. This book was not his best, but the whole vegetarian hippie guy caught inhaling a cheeseburger by the main character is another thing that stands out in my mind.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best part of the book: the sanctimonious hippie chick moves out to New Mexico to start a commune, and makes a living ripping off the tourists by selling them pot holders, which she passes off as "genuine Navajo" but which are actually made by an occupational therapist in Staten Island. Hahahahaha.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not relate to any of the characters. I think the main character is very arrogant and stupid, which is ironic.

[Dee Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Will review later. Takes place on Staten Island in the hippie era. Paul Zindel is a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist.

[Lucy 80s girl · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was just not good. I was not pleased. It honestly is a bit stupid. It's about a guy and he works at a hospital and he meets this girl named Yvonne and he wants to get to know her I believe (Its been a while since I read it. ). And then it goes no where in my opinion. And then by the end I just thought it was bad. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. I do love Paul Zindel but this is not one of his good books.

[Frena CT · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the while I was reading this I thought this was around John Lennon's time with an anti-war-love-for-all theme. This one's a refreshing tale of teenage love. I was expecting the story to unfold with some deep twist, with some heartbreaking story behind Yvette's demeanor but then it just ended almost like in mid-sentence. Ending of this kind never fail to boggle the mind, maybe even haunting. I'm just glad Dewey Daniel got through the teenage crisis with a brighter perspective though still unsure. I'm pretty sure when he decided to pursue a medical profession he thought 'What the hell.' I love your mind Dewey, and your vocabulary.

[D.M. Dutcher · Rating 2 out of 5]

Two completely insufferable teens interact with each other in the background of a hospital in the sixties or seventies. I think Dewey is the most unlikable teen protagonist I've ever read, both condescending and convinced of his own self-importance, and when he latches on to Yvette its a meeting of unlikable minds. Yvette's a real piece of work, and she winds up screwing Dewey over.

It's hard to care though, because both of them suck. Paul Zindel sure can write which is why this book gets two stars instead of one, but you're better off sticking to The Pigman and passing on this.

[Mona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul Zindel was one of a kind. I find it sad that so many teens today are not introduced to Zindel but are subjected to the crap written today. I feel like most authors don't get it right. Zindel was a gem.

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'll never love this book.. there are far better novels about being a teen out there.

[Lana Del Slay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Zindel had issues.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Own this book, read it every couple of years!

[Laurie Connolly]

Devastating to my poor middle school heart.

[squid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weird and stupid book. Loved reading it though.
Can camp be a genre of literature too?

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just finished reading Paul Zindel's 1970s novel I NEVER LOVED YOUR MIND. I had to say that this one was kind of a struggle for me to get through, but I got through it. The plot centers around Dewey, and a high school dropout who gets a job at a local hospital. There he meets Yvette, the girl of his dreams, but getting in good graces with Yvette, the vegetarian, who lives in a sketchy apartment with three other guys, sleeps nonsexually in bed with one of them, cleans while in the nude, and is stealing things from the hospital, isn't exactly the kind of girl that's easy to get. She lives by her own rules and Dewey thinks he's the guy who can win her heart. This is a very strange love story. Zindel is the ruler of teen angst, but this one I just found somewhat irritating. I'll give Zindel this: he doesn't write likable characters. That's actually a compliment if you ask me. Dewey and Yvette are know-it-alls and this can get very annoying, but I work in the school system, and its kind of similar to what these kids say and do and act like in school. They're constantly lying and think they know everything about everything until you ask them what 6/12th is equivalent to, then they're speechless like you're teaching them witchcraft. But back to the story at hand... I still enjoyed it, but I will say this, it's a very mature young adult novel. These characters are all for eliminating racism in the world but have no trouble using negative words towards gay people. They swear up a storm, and there's a sex scene, but it's like I always say, these things aren't new, and fiction, good fiction anyhow, is just a mirror of ourselves. I'm sure younger people can relate to it. Sadly, it's out of print, except for on kindle. So it'll be a difficult book to find if you're looking to get your hands on it. Not one of my favorites by Zindel, but an interesting novel just the same. The one thing that stands out for me is that a female is an independent person. While the narrator, Dewey, thinks that Yvette will fall for him just as hard as he's fallen for her. If you can guess where the title comes from, it's rather a fun read, but kind of out there as far as probability and full of 1970s sex, smoking, drinking, tripping on drugs, parents who don't seem to be anywhere in sight, and issues that we in our precious 2021 era might deem inappropriate, but they still exist just the dame. Paul Zindel's I NEVER LOVED YOUR MIND.

[Madison Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could say this book was funny at times, or that it’s one of the most unique YA books I’ve ever read, but that would shadow a more important fact: this book sucks.

If you hated Holden Caufield, then oh boy, you’ll absolutely loathe Dewey Daniels. And I’m speaking as someone who loves Holden. Yvette is not better, aside from being a singularly strange manic-pixie prototype that is, frankly, interesting to see on the page. I guess some of their lines were funny, and their weird teenage romance (is it romance?) provided entertainment, but I was left feeling unresolved and unhappy. What was the point of this book? I’m pretty well-versed in this era’s youth culture but I can’t tell if it’s meant to be a parody, or a dark comedy, or totally sincere. It’s just a mess, and after finishing it, I feel a weird knot in my stomach that I can’t explain. It’s just a very unpleasant read.

I guess I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to take from this book. I don’t mind slice of life stories about teens, I really don’t, but what’s the lesson? I guess Dewey learns to take a chance on the unpredictable after meeting Yvette, but that’s flimsy at best. I suppose it’s meant to be a realistic depiction of the arrogance and messiness of teenage love, and I guess it is on Dewey’s part, but again, I’m grasping at straws here. I can normally appreciate arrogant teens in fiction that most other people hate, but these two...I’m sorry, I’m not there yet.

On good notes, it’s a very short book, and it’s easy enough to plough through in an afternoon, though it’s so throughly unlikable that you’ll probably take longer than that to finish it. I can’t give it one star because it’s so uniquely strange, and I admire that, but it’s definitely not good. I’m glad it’s on my shelf because the cover art on my copy is cool and the title alludes to a very mysterious, heart wrenching romance. If only the content had lived up to the first impression.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I've always been bashful about the shape of my belly button. Also, no one has ever explained to my satisfaction why men have teats (tits)” (84).

“The beds were crowded next to each other, making it look a little like wall-to-wall mattress thing. The rest of the space was filled with dressers, burdened with paraphernalia such as Avon aftershave lotion, coconut oil, a deflated Spaulding, basketball, Mennen foot powder, a chess set, a copy of the Bible, the Koran, a Rand McNally atlas, and a book called The Recovery of Culture, hairbrushes, combs, Kleenex tissues, Richmond Valley Hospital paper towels, a scalp massager, a pair of jockey shorts, two pairs of dungarees which had been precisely spotted with bleach, one sock, a can of Aqua-net All-weather hairspray, a package of Smith Brothers wild cherry cough drops, Vicks Vaporub, liquid black shoe polish, and a bent guitar transposer” (87).

“ I tell you the world whole world is so screwed up. It doesn’t know it’s ass from its epiglottis anymore.

I’ve been through such a succession of bad moods lately that I get mixed up over exactly what it is. I’m feeling bad about at any particular time all last week. I was feeling bad about God making Irene suffer the way she’s doing when you have to watch someone slowly asphyxiating, you really wonder if God isn’t vacationing in Veracruz or somewhere” (133).

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't say that this novel has aged particularly well. In fact, I'm not quite sure how to feel about the whole affair. We have a protagonist who is neither "ordinary" nor is he a part of the counter-culture (which Zindel has a ludicrous amount of fun portraying) of the early seventies. So in a sense, I can't sympathize with him. He's vaguely homophobic, racist, sexist--and that's usually enough to break a deal. /Yet/ what grabs me about this novel is that the supposedly progressive counter-culture that surrounds him is just as careless and unempathetic to marginalized communities (there's a four line passage where some commune-teens say the word "chink" more times than I cared to count).

So who do we side with? Well, in 2017, perhaps none of these characters gel well with my sensibilities. So why give it 4 stars? Pure nostalgia--this novel reminded of my early adolescence and the difficulty I had when encountering a self-proclaimed progressive culture that had a much easier time dealing back-handed compliments and condescension.

(4/5)

[Sundae · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved this book as a young teen and decided to re-read it. Whoa, is it outdated! Not just because The main character, Dewey Daniels, is so politically incorrect (I didn't remember his use of "retarded" and "Mongoloid" to describe his co-workers), but also because, in the age of #metoo, Dewey is basically a stalker. Yvette tells him no over and over again, and he keeps following her home, going through her work locker, asking her questions she doesn't owe him an answer to, and generally being an entitled ass. What came across as charming* in the late 60's (when it was written) and the early 80's (when I read it**) completely falls flat now.
*I do still love the footnotes.
**I read everything Paul Zindel had written by 1985.

[Lorelei J · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was too damaged to sell in the bookstore, but seemed interesting, so I gave it another shot at life. I don’t regret it in the slightest! This book was ridiculous. The main character, Dewey, is just about the most unlikable man I have every read about, but that combined with the humor made this book truly great. Actually, I don’t think there was a single likable character besides a singular old lady. I was never bored reading this one and it was a very smooth read. It also kept me giggling the whole time, especially with the footnotes. This was a nice end of summer mental break before school kicked off and I definitely plan on reading this one again at some point.

[Antonia Casey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember reading this as a teenager and thinking it was very cool. My reaction after rereading it as an adult could not be more different. In view of the number of times the word "puerile" appears within the scant 135 pages of the book, I think Zindel was subconsciously aware of its shortcomings. In fact, his repeated use of the phrase "phantasmagorically puerile" pretty much sums it up for me.

[Laurie Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A coming of age for the awkward. Read this many times over in high school and in fact I loved it so much, I failed to return the library copy when I graduated and had the hot copy in my library for many many years. The original 500 days of Summer. Devastating and sweet, an adolescent tragedy with an accidentally feminist take on unrequited love.

[Edy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt that this is the poorest of the books which Zindel has written. His characters did not seem to be as real as they do in his other books.

I read this book and wrote the review in the mid-70s when I was taking an adolescent lit. class.

[Leila Anani · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will forever remember this one for teaching me the word phantasmagorical - one of the characters in this is addicted to words. Although not my favourite Zindel, it has his mix of quirky, psychologically disturbed teens and offbeat American humour. A must read for all Emo young teens out there.

[Heather Bergeron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I haven’t read Paul Zindel in decades. It was fun to revisit one of his books I had missed. It is a sad little story of a one-sided love affair. The writing is very self-reflective as the narrator tells us his experience with a young girl he likes. Zindel still cracks me up.

[Angie Shere · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 stars
A favorite from my high school years that I wanted to re-read. WOW. WEIRD. It hasn’t necessarily aged well but it was written in 1970, some derogatory terms were much more commonly used.
I can see why it appealed to me as it was just so “out there”. Main characters are very weird teens who don’t really fit in anywhere.

[Jessica Asurmendi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I hoped this would get better. Even up to the last page I was wishing for Dewey to decide something, anything, instead of just what-the-helling through every decision.