Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives

by Jan Yager

A comprehensive study of friendship including children and friendship, marriage and friendship, how friendships are initiated and maintained; thebest predictor of longevity in friendship; how the friendship principles that Dr. Yager learned could be applied to oter relationships; index; linedrawings; charts and self-quizzes.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Psychology

282 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Jan Yager received her BA in fine arts from Hofstra University, her MA in criminal justice from Goddard College, and her PhD in sociology from City University of New York Graduate Center. Beginning in her early twenties, with fulltime positions at Macmillan Publishing Company, followed by Grove Press, Jan has been an editor, director of subsidiary and foreign rights, acquisitions editor, book publicist, author event planner, media trainer, consultant, book coach, permissions editor, and award-winning author of 65+ books. Her titles in a range from genres -- from nonfiction and fiction to illustrated children's books and poetry -- have been published by Simon & Schuster, Scribner, Doubleday, Penguin Random House, Square One Publishers, and self-published through the small press she founded almost 30 years ago, Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc. (Her first five books were published under her maiden name of J.L. - Janet Lee- Barkas.) For more on Jan, go to: www.drjanyager.com, www.whenfriendshiphurts.com, or www.hannacroixcreekbooks.com

Reviews

[Noer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much of this book is common sense. But like they say, common sense ain't so common. Making friends, being a good friend, and evolving within a relationship is something that can't be taken for granted and Yager delivers a beautiful compendium of knowledge about the act of friendship.

The idea of 'friendshifts', the author argues, is the nature of all relationships: depending on which life phase one is a friendship can shift from one level to another. There's acquintances, distant friends, close friends and best friends. Friends might also be found in pets or relatives, which was a point I found interesting.

To sum up the basic idea: friends are essential relationships in any person's life. In order to build great friendships one needs to become someone who's good at being a friend, which is an active duty. Know what you want out of the relationship and make sure it is relatively aligned with the other person. Keep in mind that relationships can and will shift the longer they last, which means you might have to let go at some point. Communication is key and should always be done from a position of genuinely wanting to understand the other. Find the balance between neediness and independence, listen to your own (and the other's) needs and wants.

All in all I wasn't very satisfied with the book. It didn't offer anything groundbreaking, besides the obvious. But maybe that was the author's intent all along.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sound ideas but poorly written.

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent analysis of friendships.

[Fatimah · Rating 5 out of 5]

It changed the way i think.