I am slow. I didn't know my mother was an alcohloic until she died. I didn't know I was a drug addict until I had been one for ten years. I have accused people of crimes I have been guilty of. I have said things I thought were true and when they turned out to be true I was crushed. The truth is not funny. The lie is The what-should-have-what-might-have-I-wish-had happened. And none of this is probably true.