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Emotional Intelligence Habits
By the #1 bestselling author of THE NEW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Change your habits, change your life. Dr. Bradberry, the world's foremost expert on increasing EQ, offers an abundance of practical strategies that will teach you how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the micro behaviors that will take your EQ to new heights. Includes a passcode for you to take the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal.
By now, emotional intelligence (EQ) needs little introduction—it's no secret that EQ is critical to your success. But knowing what EQ is and knowing how to use it to improve your life are two very different things.
Dr. Bradberry is known for his ability to turn complicated topics into simple behaviors you can easily apply to your life and work. Emotional Intelligence Habits will radically alter how you see yourself and the world around you.
HIGH PRAISE FOR TRAVIS BRADBERRY
"Build these habits into your life. Emotional intelligence is as important as IQ in determining success and unlike IQ can be increased over time. Habits like these can become second nature and improve your ability to handle stress."
-THE GLOBE AND MAIL
Change your habits, change your life. Dr. Bradberry, the world's foremost expert on increasing EQ, offers an abundance of practical strategies that will teach you how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the micro behaviors that will take your EQ to new heights. Includes a passcode for you to take the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal.
By now, emotional intelligence (EQ) needs little introduction—it's no secret that EQ is critical to your success. But knowing what EQ is and knowing how to use it to improve your life are two very different things.
Dr. Bradberry is known for his ability to turn complicated topics into simple behaviors you can easily apply to your life and work. Emotional Intelligence Habits will radically alter how you see yourself and the world around you.
HIGH PRAISE FOR TRAVIS BRADBERRY
"Build these habits into your life. Emotional intelligence is as important as IQ in determining success and unlike IQ can be increased over time. Habits like these can become second nature and improve your ability to handle stress."
-THE GLOBE AND MAIL
432 pages, Hardcover
Published August 29, 2023
613 people are currently reading
63001 people want to read
About the author
Travis Bradberry
14 books1,535 followersDr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning author of the #1 bestselling book, THE NEW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. He is a world-renowned expert in emotional intelligence whose books have sold more than 5 million copies.
Dr. Bradberry is a LinkedIn Top Voice with 2.5 million followers on the platform. He has written for, or been covered by, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, TIME, Bloomberg Businessweek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.
Dr. Bradberry is a LinkedIn Top Voice with 2.5 million followers on the platform. He has written for, or been covered by, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, TIME, Bloomberg Businessweek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
March 11, 2025
I enjoyed this book, but his new book "The New Emotional Intelligence" is so much better. I would read that one before reading this one.
December 7, 2023
There is actually some really good stuff in here. Working in the corporate world, there are subtleties in communication that are counterintuitive. Or maybe, it's not apparent to most people that it is unwise to act on every emotion you might want to indulge in the moment. I found it helpful and hopefully others with the same EQ issues can also work to improve themselves as well.
November 21, 2023
There is good advice in this book, but it's hidden within a huge amount of text that is repetitive, doesn't discuss topics in detail, doesn't provide evidence for its claims, and doesn't attempt to get you emotionally invested in its topic.
Here's a paragraph from the chapter "Become A Great Leader":
"They deliver feedback flawlessly. It takes a tactful leader to deliver feedback that is accurate and objective, but also considerate and inspirational. Leaders who are balanced know how to take into account the feelings and perspectives of their employees while still delivering the message they need to hear in order to improve."
The first sentence sums up the paragraph while the rest pointlessly elaborates. I think everyone would agree with the point being made, but no research is mentioned that might show its importance. This paragraph is all that's said about feedback. It doesn't give any advice on giving good feedback, or provide any anecdotes about it.
Ninety-five percent of the book is like this.
I'd still give it two stars if I didn't have to open an envelope in the back of the book to get a code for an EQ test that should be free anyway. Now the book can't be returned and I'm left feeling scammed.
Here's an EQ test that is free, is more thorough, and provides more detailed results. https://www.truity.com/test/emotional...
Here's a paragraph from the chapter "Become A Great Leader":
"They deliver feedback flawlessly. It takes a tactful leader to deliver feedback that is accurate and objective, but also considerate and inspirational. Leaders who are balanced know how to take into account the feelings and perspectives of their employees while still delivering the message they need to hear in order to improve."
The first sentence sums up the paragraph while the rest pointlessly elaborates. I think everyone would agree with the point being made, but no research is mentioned that might show its importance. This paragraph is all that's said about feedback. It doesn't give any advice on giving good feedback, or provide any anecdotes about it.
Ninety-five percent of the book is like this.
I'd still give it two stars if I didn't have to open an envelope in the back of the book to get a code for an EQ test that should be free anyway. Now the book can't be returned and I'm left feeling scammed.
Here's an EQ test that is free, is more thorough, and provides more detailed results. https://www.truity.com/test/emotional...
November 13, 2023
Comprehensive and helpful emotional intelligence handbook. Uses simplified frameworks/techniques, surveys helpful examples of behaviors and concepts, and refers to updated scientific studies where appropriate as evidence for suggestions. Insightful while also being very actionable, especially if you are someone lacking “soft skills”. I still found it to be a bit verbose sometimes, perhaps because I read it back-to-back - as the author notes, it is meant more as a reference to accompany self-improvement and absorb piecemeal vs a book to read through.
March 22, 2024
This is a huge book with the mammoth task of consolidating a lot of content on different topics related to EQ. The chapters are concise and easy to follow through. Unlike some books where the same things get repeated over and over. It's better to read a chapter a day and take some time to digest it. Each chapter is categorized into some background/scientific explanation on the topic, habits, and action points. Quite easy to go through.
December 20, 2023
Great book … comes with an appraisal test to evaluate your EI …. He underscores how you’re the sum of your habits and provides powerful tools to help guide you as you navigate life surrounded by immoral crappy people. Great resource particularly helpful in our current environment.
August 8, 2023
Loved it!
August 30, 2023
Loved it!
May 1, 2024
Loved it!
October 11, 2023
1-rise at the same time every morning.
2-blue light-blocking glasses and turn on blue light filters.
3-strike the right balance of eye contact, leaning toward the person you’re talking to, nodding as you follow their thought process, and asking relevant, probing questions , use gestures effectively. Mirroring the body language of those you’re talking to is a great example,don’t unconstructive condemnation or criticism. Instead, try framing your counter like this: “I sense we could have an issue with [insert specific problem], but if we [insert specific solution], your idea could work.”
4-using “and” in place of “but.”In conflict.
5-maintaining balance in life -work.
2-blue light-blocking glasses and turn on blue light filters.
3-strike the right balance of eye contact, leaning toward the person you’re talking to, nodding as you follow their thought process, and asking relevant, probing questions , use gestures effectively. Mirroring the body language of those you’re talking to is a great example,don’t unconstructive condemnation or criticism. Instead, try framing your counter like this: “I sense we could have an issue with [insert specific problem], but if we [insert specific solution], your idea could work.”
4-using “and” in place of “but.”In conflict.
5-maintaining balance in life -work.
May 12, 2024
I loved EQ 2.0 so I was excited to read this next book. This book is a guide for how to develop - both personally and professional. It is such an easy read and lays things out in lists - which I found to be extremely helpful. I took so many notes and have already recommended it to others.
This skill set and the habits it takes to grow in this area is a must these days. Kudos to Bradberry for this guide to success.
This skill set and the habits it takes to grow in this area is a must these days. Kudos to Bradberry for this guide to success.
August 22, 2023
Wow! Really great book. It’s filled with strategies and ideas to help change your habits in your day-to-day life.
August 28, 2023
Great book! Love it so far!
January 28, 2024
Emotional Intelligence started out quite well because you’re not supposed to read this from start to finish like some conventional book. I took a self-assessment quiz, got a grade on my self awareness & social skills, and then prioritized chapters tailored to my supposed focus areas.
The author dives into the evolutionary tendencies of our brains, explaining that we feel emotions before we even rationalise them. It's like our brains are partying in the limbic system before the prefrontal cortex RSVPs.
During uncertain times, the key is to over-ride our instincts that power the animal brain and redirect our energies to rational thinking.
It includes a few interesting facts:
• When a group of people laughs, each member of the group reflexively makes eye contact with the person they feel closest to.
• If someone is doing a favor for you, they will end up liking you more (who knew!).
• Technology has made us immune to awe by increasing the bar for what it takes to be awestruck.
• Labelling negative emotions dilutes their power.
• When you sleep, your brain removes toxic proteins from its neurons, which are by-products of normal neural activity that happens while you were awake.
• Complaining shrinks the hippocampus, area of the brain critical to problem solving and intelligent thought. It literally hurts you more than you realize.
• We unconsciously mirror the moods of those around us, particularly those we spend the most time with. This is called neuronal mirroring.
• Unless you’re experiencing anger that enables you to ward off immediate physical harm, your anger is simply a replacement for another, less palatable emotion such as shame, regret, guilt, sorrow or what have you.
Now, here's where the author and I part ways. Skipping a drink at a work event to avoid looking dumb? Counterintuitive. Speaking for advertising, and having been the only non-drinker on many occasions, I can testify that people can assume you’re trying to be ‘different’. And don't get me started on biases – knowing about them won't save you. The 10,000-hour rule? It's great for chess, i.e. environments where you have a defined framework and very clear feedback, and not necessarily for navigating life's ambiguity.
In a nutshell, this book reads a lot like your grandpa giving you advice sprinkled with a bunch of cheesy Instagram quotes. It's worth a skim if you've got time to spare, but I wouldn't cancel any plans for it.
The author dives into the evolutionary tendencies of our brains, explaining that we feel emotions before we even rationalise them. It's like our brains are partying in the limbic system before the prefrontal cortex RSVPs.
During uncertain times, the key is to over-ride our instincts that power the animal brain and redirect our energies to rational thinking.
It includes a few interesting facts:
• When a group of people laughs, each member of the group reflexively makes eye contact with the person they feel closest to.
• If someone is doing a favor for you, they will end up liking you more (who knew!).
• Technology has made us immune to awe by increasing the bar for what it takes to be awestruck.
• Labelling negative emotions dilutes their power.
• When you sleep, your brain removes toxic proteins from its neurons, which are by-products of normal neural activity that happens while you were awake.
• Complaining shrinks the hippocampus, area of the brain critical to problem solving and intelligent thought. It literally hurts you more than you realize.
• We unconsciously mirror the moods of those around us, particularly those we spend the most time with. This is called neuronal mirroring.
• Unless you’re experiencing anger that enables you to ward off immediate physical harm, your anger is simply a replacement for another, less palatable emotion such as shame, regret, guilt, sorrow or what have you.
Now, here's where the author and I part ways. Skipping a drink at a work event to avoid looking dumb? Counterintuitive. Speaking for advertising, and having been the only non-drinker on many occasions, I can testify that people can assume you’re trying to be ‘different’. And don't get me started on biases – knowing about them won't save you. The 10,000-hour rule? It's great for chess, i.e. environments where you have a defined framework and very clear feedback, and not necessarily for navigating life's ambiguity.
In a nutshell, this book reads a lot like your grandpa giving you advice sprinkled with a bunch of cheesy Instagram quotes. It's worth a skim if you've got time to spare, but I wouldn't cancel any plans for it.
December 16, 2023
Lots of practical examples of emotional intelligence habits
March 10, 2024
Great book, wasn't your average unreasonable "Ted Talk" type of book. Great writing, easy to understand, and realistic exercises.
June 28, 2024
Great informative book for those wanting to delve into self reflection and development. I recommend taking the assessment and then reading the chapters associated with your strengths and weaknesses to improve. This was a required reading for one of my leadership classes and I’m so glad it was required!
October 12, 2023
My favorite format: collection of bite-sized advice pieces. Somewhat structured by topic. Progress can be made with very little time available.
The first chapter was promising: the book built a framework for what EQ is, what bits it's made of and what contexts these would be helpful for
Later chapters seem to have an entirely different style. Things are stated in absolute terms, without context and in an helpful (often inflammatory) form. Were I to listen this from a person, established social contract would require them to keep buying me drinks
Example piece defining a manipulator
Example of an integrity trap
The first chapter was promising: the book built a framework for what EQ is, what bits it's made of and what contexts these would be helpful for
Later chapters seem to have an entirely different style. Things are stated in absolute terms, without context and in an helpful (often inflammatory) form. Were I to listen this from a person, established social contract would require them to keep buying me drinks
Example piece defining a manipulator
Example of an integrity trap
April 9, 2025
I thought I wouldn't need to read this book because I have a pretty high EQ, but I'm so glad I didn't listen to myself and did anyway - plan was to recommend to all my acquaintances with low EQs 😆 Nonetheless, reading it did confirm many of the strategies I employ on a daily basis and teach me even more!
My favorite part of this book and the biggest boost to my ego has been reading the chapter on "Become a Great Leader" where the author describes great leaders as ports in a storm and uses an example of Eugene Kranz, flight director for the Apollo 13 mission, how he maintained calm even as astronauts faced death, and how people still talk about his crisis leadership skills to this day. The CRAZY thing is I interned at NASA and met Gene and after I managed to get all interns that summer pictures with him in <5 minutes, he was shocked and applauded me and told me he wished I was on his Apollo 13 crew 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
More of my favorite quotes: "Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people."
"The mistaken notion that major life events dictate your happiness and sadness is so prevalent that psychologists have a name for it: impact bias."
"For most of us, however, our very worst day would seem like a vacation to somebody who has real problems - like not having enough to eat or trying to survive a civil war."
"How do people see me differently than I see myself? What/whom did I make better today? What haven't I taken the time to learn about? If I achieved all of my goals, how would I feel? What do I want my life to be like in five years? In what areas of my life am I settling?"
Umm, can't forget that chapter on why everyone should have unlimited vacation!!
My favorite part of this book and the biggest boost to my ego has been reading the chapter on "Become a Great Leader" where the author describes great leaders as ports in a storm and uses an example of Eugene Kranz, flight director for the Apollo 13 mission, how he maintained calm even as astronauts faced death, and how people still talk about his crisis leadership skills to this day. The CRAZY thing is I interned at NASA and met Gene and after I managed to get all interns that summer pictures with him in <5 minutes, he was shocked and applauded me and told me he wished I was on his Apollo 13 crew 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
More of my favorite quotes: "Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people."
"The mistaken notion that major life events dictate your happiness and sadness is so prevalent that psychologists have a name for it: impact bias."
"For most of us, however, our very worst day would seem like a vacation to somebody who has real problems - like not having enough to eat or trying to survive a civil war."
"How do people see me differently than I see myself? What/whom did I make better today? What haven't I taken the time to learn about? If I achieved all of my goals, how would I feel? What do I want my life to be like in five years? In what areas of my life am I settling?"
Umm, can't forget that chapter on why everyone should have unlimited vacation!!
February 21, 2024
This book will be the perfect book for someone, but that someone is not me. I was expecting a book where I could learn more about emotional intelligence and learn how to apply that information. This was more of a hodgepodge of self improvement advice, sometimes with inclusions of research and oftentimes not. If you are looking for a self-help book with a lot of broad advice, this may be the book for you.
November 7, 2024
A great read with really useful data and even more tips to be better at those little details we miss everyday.
Wasn’t really expecting such a complete walkthrough most books on the subject can fall into the trap of only displaying data and here the author finds the balance between tips and evidence to make his case.
Wasn’t really expecting such a complete walkthrough most books on the subject can fall into the trap of only displaying data and here the author finds the balance between tips and evidence to make his case.
May 3, 2025
This is a great book but you have to be willing to put in the work. Developing and practicing the habits in this book will be a great benefit.
October 20, 2025
A lot of useful information!
April 28, 2024
Great read. Super thoughtful and specific
December 6, 2025
There is so much here that I started outlining his points. But, the outline is bigger than allowed for a Goodreads review - he has a lot of points in this book.
September 4, 2025
Who is this for ?
Office workers, people working in large organizations, managers and corportions themselves.
What kind of book is it ?
It is a self-help practical book claiming to teach the essential habits of emotional intelligence, in order to become happier, achieve a "true work-life balance", make yourself more likeable, increase confidence and productivity and beat procrastination, among many other similar claims.
The first part of the book is about emotional intelligence in every aspects of your life and the second half focuses specifically on emotional intelligence at work.
Who is the author ?
Dr. Travis Bradberry has a dual Ph.D. in clinical and industrial-organizational psychology. He is the co-founder of TalentSmart, a consultancy firm that provides emotional intelligence tests and training.
Why did I choose this book to read ?
I am not in the target audience for this book, as I left the corporate world a long time ago precisely because of how emotionally destructive I found it.
I am interested in the general topic of emotions, and I wanted to know more about emotional intelligence, especially given that it is a relatively new idea (the idea became popular after the 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman) and has yet to be clearly defined.
Moreover, emotional intelligence as a model itself is heavily critized, so I wanted to read an acclaimed, well rated book on the topic in order to dig deeper on the topic and see wether the criticism were justified or overblown.
My review:
What kind of emotional intelligence are we talking about here ?
First I needed to determine which of the emotional intelligence models this book follows, and why the author chose this one, and already I was disappointed: Travis Bradberry follows Daniel Goleman's model and presents it as the definitive one, without mentioning the others.
This model breaks down emotional intelligence into four traits: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. It has been under a lot of criticism:
- this model is not distinct enough from cognitive intelligence: emotional intelligence might not be a different set of traits separate from intelligence, but intelligence applied to emotions
- this model is not distinct enough from personality: people who score high in one of the Big Five personality traits, neuroticisim, will score low in EQ tests.
- this model relies on self-assessment for determining the EQ: and evidence has shown that in the case of emotional intelligence assessments, this tend to be under the social-desirability bias which results in less accurate measures.
Dr. Travis Bradberry does not address these criticisms and equally does not justify his choice to go with Goeiman's trait model. We can only speculate that choosing a model that presents emotional intelligence as a set of skills, that can therefore be learned and practiced, over an ability model, that would make emotional intelligence static, is in line with the author's consultancy firm specializing in emotional intelligence training.
High emotional intelligence leads to better job performance ?
Though many studies seem to correlate success in leadership and high EQ score, and this is what this book is presenting to us, a lot of other studies show either mixed results or no correlation. Studies that showed a link turned out to show no significant relation between EQ and management ability after factoring in IQ and the Big Five personality traits.
This book does not address these, and presents emotional intelligence as the best way to increase job performance.
High emotional intelligence is a cure-all ?
Dr Travis Bradberry claims that high emotional intelligence helps you:
- beat stress, procrastination, cognitive biases and anger
- increase happiness, confidence, mental strength, productivity, motivation and self-control
- know when you are being lied to, deal with toxic people and "bad bosses"
- master conflict, communication, make smart decision, clean up your sleep hygiene, make your workspace better, climb the corporate ladder faster, become a great leader and achieve true work-life balance.
Is emotional intelligence even trainable ?
I don't know, the research is mixed on this one and we can't even agree wether it's an innate ability or a set of skills. This book does not address this at all, and just assumes that emotional intelligence can be trained.
How to achieve high emotional intelligence according to Dr. Bradberry
It seems like high emotional intelligence will cure you of all your troubles and to achieve this incredible state of mind, like the title of the book implies, it is all in the habits. Each chapter of the book presents a problem to be solved that Dr Travis Bradberry claims can disappear with a high EQ and then make a list of habits that, if followed, should increase said EQ.
Now let's examine what these recommended habits are (all quoted directly from the book, over different chapters, the subcategories are my own, for the sake of readability, this list is not exhaustive):
- sleep: practice good sleep hygiene, wake up early
- mindset: stay positive, practice mindfulness and meditation, love yourself, label negative feelings, get in touch with your feelings, listen to your moral compass, don't blame, don't see yourself as a victim, be honest with yourself, be authentic, get your happiness from within, don't make excuses, don't wait for permission, don't need constant praise, don't put things off, don't seek the spotlight, don't sit in judgement, don't avoid conflicts, don't get too comfortable
- actions: make decisions, do things in person, exercise regularly, help others, set goals, dress for success, lead when no one else follows
- communication: listen more than you speak, speak with certainty, celebrate other people's successes, get right with the boss,
- money: spend money on other people, spend money on experiences and not things
The so called "Emotional intelligence habits" are just healthy emotional habits that any skilled therapist would teach, repackaged as emotional intelligence. I need to see more from the idea of emotional intelligence to believe it has any legitimacy beyond a concept that was put together to score a person's emotional skills. Right now, I am left to believe that emotional intelligence is just a grouping of discrete coping skills (stress management, mindfulness, healthy living, good communication, etc) that don't gain anything from the emotional intelligence lens, beyond that your EQ score shows how good you are at those skills.
Special mention: the chapter "Survive a Bad Boss"
In this chapter, Dr Travis Bradberry lists 7 types of bad bosses and for each, a way to "neutralize" them. For the tyrant, swallow your pride and allow them to take credit for your work and don't expect recognition in return. For the micromanager, just go their way and mold yourself to their vision, and learn to "derive a sense a satisfaction from within". For the inappropriate buddy, learn to set boundaries... but not too much, you still want to be seen as friendly! For the incompetent ? Swallow your pride, share your knowledge and enjoy being more qualified than your boss and still under him!
Why should we have to "swallow our pride" and patiently teach an incompetent boss ? Wouldn't emotional intelligence in this case be to recognize your frustration as legitimate and take action to fix the situation, not by molding and numbing yourself to not feel the frustration anymore, but by confronting your boss, or switching jobs ?
Conclusion
I gave this book a one-star because it is only offering what you will find in your average mediocre self-help book but sold under the name of emotional intelligence.
This book did not help me make up my mind on the concept of emotional intelligence, it is highly focused on the "how" to increase the EQ and assumes that emotional intelligence is real and can be trained, but those assertions are not discussed.
If this book resonated with you, I would recommend looking for books directly related with each coping skills presented in this book (like stress management, healthy communication, sleep etc) or get a good healthy habits book and skip this one entirely. Nothing new is being said, the habits are not explored in enough depth and the emotional intelligence label adds more complexity than is necessary.
Office workers, people working in large organizations, managers and corportions themselves.
What kind of book is it ?
It is a self-help practical book claiming to teach the essential habits of emotional intelligence, in order to become happier, achieve a "true work-life balance", make yourself more likeable, increase confidence and productivity and beat procrastination, among many other similar claims.
The first part of the book is about emotional intelligence in every aspects of your life and the second half focuses specifically on emotional intelligence at work.
Who is the author ?
Dr. Travis Bradberry has a dual Ph.D. in clinical and industrial-organizational psychology. He is the co-founder of TalentSmart, a consultancy firm that provides emotional intelligence tests and training.
Why did I choose this book to read ?
I am not in the target audience for this book, as I left the corporate world a long time ago precisely because of how emotionally destructive I found it.
I am interested in the general topic of emotions, and I wanted to know more about emotional intelligence, especially given that it is a relatively new idea (the idea became popular after the 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman) and has yet to be clearly defined.
Moreover, emotional intelligence as a model itself is heavily critized, so I wanted to read an acclaimed, well rated book on the topic in order to dig deeper on the topic and see wether the criticism were justified or overblown.
My review:
What kind of emotional intelligence are we talking about here ?
First I needed to determine which of the emotional intelligence models this book follows, and why the author chose this one, and already I was disappointed: Travis Bradberry follows Daniel Goleman's model and presents it as the definitive one, without mentioning the others.
This model breaks down emotional intelligence into four traits: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. It has been under a lot of criticism:
- this model is not distinct enough from cognitive intelligence: emotional intelligence might not be a different set of traits separate from intelligence, but intelligence applied to emotions
- this model is not distinct enough from personality: people who score high in one of the Big Five personality traits, neuroticisim, will score low in EQ tests.
- this model relies on self-assessment for determining the EQ: and evidence has shown that in the case of emotional intelligence assessments, this tend to be under the social-desirability bias which results in less accurate measures.
Dr. Travis Bradberry does not address these criticisms and equally does not justify his choice to go with Goeiman's trait model. We can only speculate that choosing a model that presents emotional intelligence as a set of skills, that can therefore be learned and practiced, over an ability model, that would make emotional intelligence static, is in line with the author's consultancy firm specializing in emotional intelligence training.
High emotional intelligence leads to better job performance ?
Though many studies seem to correlate success in leadership and high EQ score, and this is what this book is presenting to us, a lot of other studies show either mixed results or no correlation. Studies that showed a link turned out to show no significant relation between EQ and management ability after factoring in IQ and the Big Five personality traits.
This book does not address these, and presents emotional intelligence as the best way to increase job performance.
High emotional intelligence is a cure-all ?
Dr Travis Bradberry claims that high emotional intelligence helps you:
- beat stress, procrastination, cognitive biases and anger
- increase happiness, confidence, mental strength, productivity, motivation and self-control
- know when you are being lied to, deal with toxic people and "bad bosses"
- master conflict, communication, make smart decision, clean up your sleep hygiene, make your workspace better, climb the corporate ladder faster, become a great leader and achieve true work-life balance.
Is emotional intelligence even trainable ?
I don't know, the research is mixed on this one and we can't even agree wether it's an innate ability or a set of skills. This book does not address this at all, and just assumes that emotional intelligence can be trained.
How to achieve high emotional intelligence according to Dr. Bradberry
It seems like high emotional intelligence will cure you of all your troubles and to achieve this incredible state of mind, like the title of the book implies, it is all in the habits. Each chapter of the book presents a problem to be solved that Dr Travis Bradberry claims can disappear with a high EQ and then make a list of habits that, if followed, should increase said EQ.
Now let's examine what these recommended habits are (all quoted directly from the book, over different chapters, the subcategories are my own, for the sake of readability, this list is not exhaustive):
- sleep: practice good sleep hygiene, wake up early
- mindset: stay positive, practice mindfulness and meditation, love yourself, label negative feelings, get in touch with your feelings, listen to your moral compass, don't blame, don't see yourself as a victim, be honest with yourself, be authentic, get your happiness from within, don't make excuses, don't wait for permission, don't need constant praise, don't put things off, don't seek the spotlight, don't sit in judgement, don't avoid conflicts, don't get too comfortable
- actions: make decisions, do things in person, exercise regularly, help others, set goals, dress for success, lead when no one else follows
- communication: listen more than you speak, speak with certainty, celebrate other people's successes, get right with the boss,
- money: spend money on other people, spend money on experiences and not things
The so called "Emotional intelligence habits" are just healthy emotional habits that any skilled therapist would teach, repackaged as emotional intelligence. I need to see more from the idea of emotional intelligence to believe it has any legitimacy beyond a concept that was put together to score a person's emotional skills. Right now, I am left to believe that emotional intelligence is just a grouping of discrete coping skills (stress management, mindfulness, healthy living, good communication, etc) that don't gain anything from the emotional intelligence lens, beyond that your EQ score shows how good you are at those skills.
Special mention: the chapter "Survive a Bad Boss"
In this chapter, Dr Travis Bradberry lists 7 types of bad bosses and for each, a way to "neutralize" them. For the tyrant, swallow your pride and allow them to take credit for your work and don't expect recognition in return. For the micromanager, just go their way and mold yourself to their vision, and learn to "derive a sense a satisfaction from within". For the inappropriate buddy, learn to set boundaries... but not too much, you still want to be seen as friendly! For the incompetent ? Swallow your pride, share your knowledge and enjoy being more qualified than your boss and still under him!
Why should we have to "swallow our pride" and patiently teach an incompetent boss ? Wouldn't emotional intelligence in this case be to recognize your frustration as legitimate and take action to fix the situation, not by molding and numbing yourself to not feel the frustration anymore, but by confronting your boss, or switching jobs ?
Conclusion
I gave this book a one-star because it is only offering what you will find in your average mediocre self-help book but sold under the name of emotional intelligence.
This book did not help me make up my mind on the concept of emotional intelligence, it is highly focused on the "how" to increase the EQ and assumes that emotional intelligence is real and can be trained, but those assertions are not discussed.
If this book resonated with you, I would recommend looking for books directly related with each coping skills presented in this book (like stress management, healthy communication, sleep etc) or get a good healthy habits book and skip this one entirely. Nothing new is being said, the habits are not explored in enough depth and the emotional intelligence label adds more complexity than is necessary.
April 16, 2024
There are many habits individuals with high EQ engage in, such as prioritising sleep, knowing oneself, heeding body language, overcoming conflict, and maintaining balance.
August 17, 2024
Emotional Intelligence Habits has hit home for me, especially on the work front. I took the test online then followed by reading the chapters that the results told me. wow what a relief to know what I can do to better myself now and in the future. I do wish I knew these steps sooner because I’ve gotten myself in a bit of a pickle, hopefully I’ll crawl myself out. Thank you Travis Bradberry. This is a masterpiece
October 30, 2024
This book didn't do it for me. It attempts to cover way too many topics without any depth, and most of the suggestions are presented in a very shallow, obvious fashion. Despite the short chapters and large text, this was a pain to get through.
June 19, 2024
I've listened to some amazing, life changing books over the last year and this one is among the top 3 for sure. Can't recommend it enough.
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