A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting

by Hara Estroff Marano

Wake up, We’re raising a nation of wimps.

Hara Marano, editor-at-large and the former editor-in-chief of Psychology Today , has been watching a disturbing kids are growing up to be wimps. They can’t make their own decisions, cope with anxiety, or handle difficult emotions without going off the deep end. Teens lack leadership skills. College students engage in deadly binge drinking. Graduates can’t even negotiate their own salaries without bringing mom or dad in for a consult. Why? Because hothouse parents raise teacup children—brittle and breakable, instead of strong and resilient. This crisis threatens to destroy the fabric of our society, to undermine both our democracy and economy. Without future leaders or daring innovators, where will we go? So what can be done? kids would play in the street until their mothers hailed them for supper, and unless a child was called into the principal’s office, parents and teachers met only at organized conferences. Nowadays, parents are involved in every aspect of their children’s lives—even going so far as using technology to monitor what their kids eat for lunch at school and accompanying their grown children on job interviews. What is going on?

Hothouse parenting has hit the mainstream—with disastrous effects. Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children, but the net effect of parental hyperconcern and scrutiny is to make kids more fragile. When the real world isn’t the discomfort-free zone kids are accustomed to, they break down in myriad ways. Why is it that those who want only the best for their kids wind up bringing out the worst in them? There is a mental health crisis on college campuses these days, with alarming numbers of students engaging in self-destructive behaviors like binge drinking and cutting or disconnecting through depression.

A Nation of Wimps is the first book to connect the dots between overparenting and the social crisis of the young. Psychology expert Hara Marano reveals how parental overinvolvement hinders a child’s development socially, emotionally, and neurologically. Children become overreactive to stress because they were never free to discover what makes them happy in the first place.

Through countless hours of painstaking research and interviews, Hara Marano focuses on the whys and how of this crisis and then turns to what we can do about it in this thought-provoking and groundbreaking book.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Education, Teaching, Social Commentary, Book Club

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Nicole Johns · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will have a profound effect on how I parent and it already has me re-thinking and changing my ways.

Basically, the book is about how the growing trend of "helicopter" or "death-grip" or "intrusive" parenting is not only weakening and harming our kids, but will also ultimately limit our country's prospects in the new global economy. I have friends in higher ed and they have told me stories about 18 year olds unable to decide for themselves what size t-shirt they need and don't know how to solve a simple roommate conflict without calling mom and dad in for advice or assistance. I really didn't believe that things were so bad, until I read this book.

The book outlines the innumerable ways that parenting from a place of fear and anxiety is hurting kids. Kids are more anxious, more depressed, more stressed and more lonely thanks to parents who never allow them to face a challenge or experience a loss on their own. And the irony of this trend is that the parents' actions cause more harm to their children than the perceived risks could. Kids are hesitant or uninterested in trying something new, speaking out, questioning authority, and generally taking chances. They are raised to think there is always some hidden danger and that success is only measured in grades and the college you attend. It's perfectionism at its worse.

Along with anecdotal evidence and scientific evidence of this trend and its damage, the book also includes explanations of the psychological and biological processes of child development and the effects of death-grip parenting.

Kids need to experience failure (it's how we learn) and feel pain. They need to find out what they are best at, what they enjoy and who they want to be. We are hurting our kids when we plan their whole days, their whole lives, for them. They need a chance and time to explore. They need to be loved not for what they achieve, but for who they are. They also need space and time away from their loving parents so they can develop their own coping mechanisms and their identities, even at young ages.

Before reading this book, I was parenting from a place of anxiety a lot of the time, but now I realize that we do the best we can to provide a safe and loving place for our son. It's our job to free him and expose him to the many challenges and beauties of this world, not to shield him and groom him to be some ideal child. He already is an ideal child, himself.

And by the way, kids aren't getting abused and abducted more than they used to. It's actually happening much less, and really, it is most often done by someone the kid knows or is related to. So let the kid play outside for goodness sake.

[Maren · Rating 1 out of 5]

VERY unimpressed with this book. I understand what the author is saying, I just don't care a I disagree with it. What he's promoting (that kids are too sheltered these days) seems to apply to a small minority of American wealthies. I also wonder how prevalent it really is. Also, he makes radical generalizations that are inflammatory and offensive. For example, I'm sure there are SAHMs out there that live through their children and quit successful careers to over-control their lives, but I'm also pretty sure that that majority of women that stay at home with their children, esp when they are young, do so out of a desire to raise their children themselves instead of leaving their care to another. So, ya, I gave it one star and did not finish it.

[Mandeep’s reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was about what the author thinks is a new phenomenon of over-protective parenting and being over-involved in kids lives. And how this is creating unhappy, impatient, brittle children who will not be very good future leaders. It spent a lot of time on how some parents have their kids lives all planned out for them - with their eye to beefing up their college resumes. It was funny at times when the author gave anecdotes about crazy parents attending job interviews with their 18 yr olds. It also pointed out that cases of child stranger abduction and molestation etc are actually down now (and more likely a concern from someone close to the child - the majority of abductions being by a separated parent etc), yet due the culture of fear we're still scaring kids about all the bad things that can happen and not letting them play outside. It was a good reminder to back off. And of the dangers of perfectionism.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was not impressed with this book. It was sensationalistic, poorly referenced and make very sweeping claims that dismissed whole schools of thought that certainly have some validity to them. I'm going to betray my biases here but she dismissed attachment parenting in about a paragraph and did the same to homeschooling, basically making both sound like only the most obsessed parents would consider doing either of those things even though they are so detrimental for their children. She did have some good points I suppose so this may be worth reading for parents as a cautionary tale for how not to ruin your children. But I think she doesn't think through all the issues clearly enough.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

an interesting point of view. obviously this is occurring but i certainly don't think it's the damning epidemic that this book makes it out to be. plus, i think it would have added a lot more to the book if children and their parents from other socioeconomic spheres were included in the interviews, facts, and figures. yes, this parenting style does exist but so do a million other parenting styles....both good, bad, and in between. when it comes down to it, mostly parents just want what is best for their children and it's never easy to know exactly what that is all the time.

[Gail · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half of this book was more interesting to me because it focused on younger children. Marano is at her best when she writes about brain development. The chapter on the importance of play is fascinating, especially the part about how ADHD may just be a lack of play. However, the book ends up getting very repetitive and the chapters don't follow any sort of linear argument. Particularly annoying were how chapters were divided into three to four paragraph sections that were unrelated to each other. I skimmed the second half of this book and don't feel like i missed much.

[Amy-Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Am feeling very conflicted as I read this book. Was my mother an invasive mom...? Is Andrew an invasive dad? I know that many of our parents at school are helicopter parents. I keep switching points of view and placing different people in the different scenarios. I feels a bit overwhelming. I'm trying to perservere.

[Marisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oof this was a tough read. Even for someone who agrees with the basic premise of the book and is interested in learning about different parenting styles, this book was really off-putting. Would not recommend unless you are really interested in this topic and are confident in your parenting (is anyone?) or you don't have kids (and therefore can accept "just don't worry" as a solution).
Except for a small acknowledgement of systemic factors that lead a culture to invasive parenting (highly changing culture, economics, and jobs, and a media culture that increases anxiety) there was very little to explain this phenomena and empathize with parents. The book was HIGHLY condescending and placed most of the blame on parents and kids. While I agree we can all benefit from Chilling the F*ck Out a bit, it's not really a solution to a wide-spread cultural problem. Actually, there really wasn't much of a solution provided. The book was mostly complaining about "these parents and kids today." The heavy reliance of shocking anecdotes that were in no way corroborated took away from actual scientific studies.
So why did I keep reading? Published in 2008, this book actually said more about how I was raised than current parenting trends. While invasive parenting still persists, I think there is a growing group of parents trying to push back against this last-stage capitalist Darwinian fight to be/stay upper-middle class. It was interesting to get more insight into how I was raised (definitely invasive) and how it shaped me throughout childhood and adolescence.
So a lot of words to say I got behind the message, even if the way it was presented was not helpful, especially in 2023 when I think we are a little more aware of click-bait writing and expect more of systems than individuals.

[Finn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a poorly-written book full of exaggerated action metaphors. There are things to think about here, though. The crux of the book seems to be about the pitfalls of modern parenting. In a dynamic, materialistic, highly-competitive world, many adults seem to have problems establishing identities. This causes them to seek identity vicariously through their children, and to desperately try to set their children up for the success they never had by clearing every obstacle from their path. Tragically, this prevents their children from finding identities of their own, and from having the sorts of trial-and-error learning experiences that build confidence and character.

Tips:
1. Unstructured, unsupervised, vigorous play is neurologically critical and intensely stimulating.
2. EAT DINNER TOGETHER! Everyone speaks and everyone listens. Let the child take charge of the discussion regularly.
3. Learn how to criticize effectively, be inviting children to be critical of themselves. Do not show disappointment.
4. Reward the process, not the results. Do not be overly proud of your child for getting an A if they did not work hard to achieve it. Be proud of critical thinking, hard work, etc.
5. Quit hovering. Take time for yourself.
6. Parenthood is not a profession. There are no metrics. The goal is to raise an independent human being.
7. Teach children how to tolerate discomfort.
8. Encourage children to try hard things. Allow them to explore their curiosity.
9. Do not materially reward achievement.
10. Slowly allow them -- push them, require them -- to take responsibility for their own lives. If they call you because they forgot a book, don't drive it over to them.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read Nation of Wimps 10 years ago, when I first put it on my to-read list. Better late than never though. This is important reading for families who live in pressure-cooker communities where kids are constantly pushed to achieve, increasingly through parental intervention and over-involvement. My three teenagers have already taught me many of the book’s lessons organically, but there were still many great reminders about ways in which we parents sometimes acts as impediments to, rather than architects of, growth and independence in our children.

[Matthew Richey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I agree with many of the concerns expressed in this book, but the author is more interested in anecdotal stories or cherry-picked studies than in doing deep research or actually asking questions. She has concerns that I share, but I'm not sure how this book helps explain the whys or points us towards any what nows. Might be worth a quick browse, but not recommended overall (also, this book was published in 2008, which for some of the points being made, it's a bit dated already).

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I had bought this book instead of borrowing it from the library, it would be in the trash right now.

Besides the fact that the author is not a mental health professional of any sort, this book comes off as condescending and extremely judgmental.

Find a good therapist instead.

[Lucas Santos · Rating 2 out of 5]

Personally I didn’t like the book. I think the last 10 pages when the author summarizes the whole book on 13 different points are more impactful than the whole other 250 pages. Lots of repetitions topics and assumptions throughout the book. I love the ideas presented but it just didn’t get me.

[Kenneth Irgens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent psychology-related book on parenting

[Ginny Yurich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Looooooooved this!!!!

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to be able to tell people I was shocked by what I read in this book. Sadly, I am not--the author has simply named it (well), and as educators we see it day in and day out.

Isn't it funny how nations run from the "enemy," yet often fall from within. Why is it that our nation does not see we are falling from within?

What a reality check for me to read this book. (Misti and Christine recommended it.)

(Note: Many corps look to hire first generation Americans today, as being the children of immigrants seems to be the key in finding hard-working, dedicated employees.)

Get off the “self-esteem” band-wagon and think “self-efficacy” - a person’s perception of her ability to reach a goal…cognitive belief in one’s self about being capable to do something. It is this that motivates people to take on challenging tasks (p 126).

Over-protection renders children unable to cope with stress and the real world or pain. There is such a thing as spending too much time with a problem. (p 130-1) Over-protection keeps students from developing skills of self regulation (p 157), causing them to see “no-way out” situations, as they have never had to “grapple with the kinds (…) of experiences that breed coping strategies or resilience,” causing them to crash under pressure.

Adolescence begins earlier and lasts longer—kids are exposed to way too much before they have the tools they need to process experiences in our society (p 165); i.e., sexuality.

“Self-harm” is rampant. Students see themselves as the center of the universe, and when there are issues to deal with, rather than turn to another for help, they self mutilate —cutting (p 171).

“But the cell phone does something even more subversive; the perpetual access to parents infantilizes the young, keeping them in a permanent state of dependency…” (p 179).

“The cell phone effects a transformation of social systems from the ‘solid’ state of rigid scheduling to a ‘liquid’ state of permanently ongoing processes…..everything happening is conditioned by current situations” (p 186).

“All parents feel bad when their children don’t do well…but only ‘over-involved’ parents feel bad about themselves” (p 227).

Great commentary was made about a school, Sudbury Valley—much like a Summerhill, in England, or CA’s Sun Valley School. I have a couple of students who do not belong in special ed, but could use a school where their emotional dependence, as well as independence would be nurtured and developed for the higher good of all.

Interesting: “Video games are “breakthrough” activities, because they allow people to experiment with their identities and personalities” (p 240).

“Overparenting isn’t just bad for individual kids, weakening them from within and rendering they psychologically fragile; it’s bad for the …future of the economy that sustains us all…the growing inability of the young to exercise autonomy and make decisions on their own threatens democracy” (p 243). (How many times we tease, “These are the people that will be providing us with Social Security and Medicare in the near future.”) Business leaders comment “the future workforce is here and unprepared” (p249).

Great concluding pages to this book, with a dozen pointers to clarify the info within these pages: “11. Give your kids increasing responsibility for managing their own lives.” Stop managing their lives for them. If they leave a paper or book at home, don’t run it over to school. Let them feel what happens when they leave something behind…Let them learn to do things for themselves…. Cease and desist being the timekeeper for your kids, constantly scheduling (over scheduling) them, reminding them what is due and where they need to be. When parents do this, their children do not function away from home (p 263).

[Carmen Liffengren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure what drew me to this book. I saw it at Barnes & Noble and I kept it on a mental to-read list. So, I checked it out from the library. It's really about the effects of hyper-vigilant parenting from birth through high school and college. Today's parents, according to the author, spend so much of their energy coddling and over-protecting their children in the attempt to shield them from ever feeling unhappy or disappointed. In effect they raise children who do not learn to become independent. Children don't learn how to cope with negativity in their lives nor do they learn how to navigate a challenging and complex world. The author spends time discussing how the brain functions and that is ultimately fascinating. There are chapters devoted to the increasing depression and anxiety rates in college students and chapters about ADHD in elementary students. She spends much time discussing how our society wants our children to get ahead academically and from earlier and earlier ages at the expense of missing childhood. Many schools have either reduced recess times or eliminated it all together in the hopes that there will be more time for academics. Today's society is suspect of play time because it seemingly accomplishes nothing, but based on brain research, play is vital for children. More unstructured play is essential for development and increasingly, children spend so much time in too many structured activities. They need time to play and also, not surprisingly, unstructured play and rough-and-tumble play factor into greatly decreasing the symptoms of ADHD in children. The author is awfully critical of the public school system and seemingly says that the rise in diagnosis of ADD, ADHD might be related to the outdated and irrelevant mode of learning to be found in schools. On the other hand, she mentions homeschooling only a couple of times and neither time is she very enthusiastic about it as it is part of her screed against "hothouse" parenting. She's in favor of alternative schools that require less pressure and a more inspiring atmosphere that does inspire real learning. Children learn more when they can learn to motivate themselves. There's just so much in this book that's food for thought. Her solutions involve letting children have more unstructured time to develop their imaginations, letting children work out challenges on their own so as to create coping mechanisms needed in adult life, letting children deal with the consequences of something negative (not always having mom or dad bail them out). Children need to learn independence to live in this world. There's a natural progression of ths type of over-protecitve parenting that breeds a child more prone to anxiety and depression. I recommend reading the book if only to learn more about how the brain functions and develops. So much interesting stuff here to think about.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad but true.

Children today in middle class and upper class homes are being overprotected and micromanaged by their parents to such a degree that they do not develop problem solving skills, social relationship skills, independence and successful life skills.

Their parents plan their lives, fighting even before they are born, to find placement for them in the best nursery and preschools so that they are on track for the Ivy League. The children are pressured to perform and fit into the parents' perception of their lives, having value only in achieving by perfection. They are taught that they must be perfect, not excellent. They are praised for their performance instead of for the process and what they have learned from it. They become insecure because they feel that their parents' love is conditional upon their academic and extracurricular success.

They are so driven to succeed that they overtrain before their minds and bodies are capable of the degree of training. Doctors are seeing repetitive sports injuries in young children that used to be common only in professional athletes. Children are put into Head Start programs to learn in ways that their brains are not yet capable of learning. Curricula no longer reflect the needs and abilities of the students, but eh competitive desires of the parents.

Children are so pressured to achieve that they have psychological breakdowns. The parents realize that counselling is necessary but are not willing to obtain it because it would be a failure as a parent. Their emotional lives are intertwined unhealthily with those of their children.

Eating disorders, mental breakdowns and binge drinking are just some signs of the psychological problems created by the parents.

The author seems to generalize at times, overemphasizing Ivy League schools. It would be bad for a person to ignore her insights because they think they are not relevant because their children are not going to Ivy League schools. The examples that she uses are extreme, but to some degree, I have seen them happen in the MidWest in upper middle class schools with a high proportion of professional parents: parents who coerce their students to take a path that is not suited to them, who fight for their children's marks, who threaten and try to intimidate the teachers and administration to change teaching methods or marks. who do more than assist in completing research projects, who have them join every extracurricular activity so that there is no time to play, who do not let their children fail and suffer the consequences...

But her information is well referenced 32 pages of footnotes. Perhaps the book is over-repetitive and you could learn enough by reading just the first and last chapters.

But do not let that prevent you from taking away from this book the damage that is being done by overparenting... too much of a good thing.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The basic premise of the book is that parents need to back the F off. Free play (with no adults anywhere in sight) is absolutely essentialt. Roughhousing in particular is critical to brain development. If she's right my youngest is going to be a genius. ;)

I don't agree with all the author's assertions. In particular she needs to decide how she feels about SAHMs. In one breath she trashes them for abandoning their careers and then pouring all that energy into "childrearing" but then in the next breath bemoans the "good old days". You know, back when all moms were SAHMs. As a SAHM who doesn't micromanage my kids' play and instead throws them outside to play in the hammock, or in the meadow, or whatever so I can make dinner in peace I resent the notion that being a SAHM means I'm micromanaging my kids' lives. OTOH I see so much "hothouse parenting" that I can't deny her point.

As a parent of young children I was most drawn to the early chapters of the book, but anyone will find the chapters on college life shocking. I'm only (or should that be "only"?) ten years out of school but I didn't recognize the picture she painted. A college student calling mom to call the RA to complain that a washer ate her quarters? Seriously?

I'll finish with a quote from the book:

"By some slight of sanctimony, overconcern and invasiveness have, in fact, become virtues, hallmarks of attentive parenting among the middle and upper classes."

I couldn't agree more.

[Lesli · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. There is so much information out there about how to be "a good parent" which teaches parents to infantilize their children way too long, this book basically says all of that is crap. Children need to play by themselves and figure things out for themselves. Its not a tragedy if a kid gets hurt playing, its how they learn. I sometimes feel like a bad parent because I let my kid play by himself, or when he gets bored, apparently based on the research presented in this book, those are all good things! Children need to learn how to fight their own battles.
I found the part where she presented research on babies forming attachments fascinating. Apparently babies who are neglected act very similar to babies of invasive parenting. A baby will naturally form an attachment to their primary caregiver, but infants like older children, need to form their own identity to survive the stress of life. The other part I really liked was the current research they are doing on cell phones, and emotional behaviors. Apparently constant cell phone use of young adults changes the way the brain is hardwired making it extremely difficult to problem solve. I very much enjoyed the book, and it made me think about how I parent my child, and whether I'm helping him to one day become a product adult or hindering his independence. Unfortunately, I've found I'm sometimes in the past I have been guilty.

[Byron Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book talks about why current parenting styles are creating adults who are unable to cope with the real world. Basically left in perpetual adolescence. While I agree with the premise of the book that many parents are too invasive in their children's lives, some of the anecdotes offered as proof are not overly compelling.



Much of the book centers on college age students. Specifically those that are attending school away from home. In my circle, this is a small subset of the population and not indicative of young adults as a whole. As well, the author seems obsessed with the idea of cell phones enabling parental interaction. I think much of the same interaction could be accomplished with a land line. Also the book lost me in some psycho babble type stuff. I'm sure it's valid for those in the field but didn't do much for me.



However, this gist of the book is that you must allow your children to be independent and find their own way. This includes letting them fail and learn from their mistakes and work through situations on their own. You can be supportive, but don't do it for them.



We'll see how I do as my kids get older.

[Marya DeVoto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have yet to read any of the other hot books about overparenting, but this one had plenty of good information and ideas (about the cultural causes of over-parented, over-schooled kids) some interesting science (for example about the effects of 24/7 communication on the ability to plan) and a little less hype than I expected. I agreed with a lot of it and without being able to strictly evaluate the science, thought the arguments were reasonably well-supported. However, it is a pretty far-reaching effort and inevitable some of it stretches too far. For example, the author wants to make an argument about the prevalence of mental illness on campus in relation to the central argument about overinvolved parenting, and then herself agrees that college now accepts a vastly wider spectrum of kids now including academically unready and mentally ill students.

Worth reading but I need more to compare it to.

[Ann Badger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok...so i don't have kids of my own...but i do LOVE them, and my undregrad studies were in child development...if i could get my friends who have kids to read one parenting book int he next year, this would be it...it's all about how the spectrum has now swung to being so overprotective of children that they have no idea who they are in the world, how to make decisions, live with consequences and so forth. Many children are not given the freedom to "just" play, when paly is one of the most basic necessitites to learning decision-making and socialization. They are overscheduled, over-medicated and pressured to "succeed" academically to the exclusion of almost every other value. And it's not just for parents- this is a comment on our society in general. the author writes regularly for Pschology Today magazine.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the points were valid. Parents that live vicariously through their children. (I've seen that) Parents who can't go anywhere without bringing their children along. (seen that, too) Kindergartners whose first day of school is their first day away from mom, ever. (seen that) College kids who get their parents to call their professors to complain about tests or grading practices. (sadly this has happened to Thomas, numerous times!!) Others were a stretch for me, like putting a cover on a grocery cart handle for our baby teaches them that nothing is safe. Using hand-sanitizer on a regular basis also scars our childrens' sense of safety and security as well?! I found her attitude about home-schooling disturbing. She views home-schooling as the ultimate, control-freak, parenting-type. An interesting read but her case was not proven by most of her arguments for me.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book - makes a lot of sense and outlines where "we" have gone wrong in raising our children.

Really emphasizes the importance of PLAY for children. Today's structured schedules imposed by parents are really a disservice to our childrens development.

This book also discusses the importance of a child's independence in thinking, actions and decision-making as they grow and develop. These skills take time to develop, which some parents don't feel that they have time for based on their schedules/lives....

Glad I read this book prior to delivering our baby as there are several pages that discuss attachment and how the initial days of life are so critical to the baby in regards to forming healthy attachment bonds and the physical effects they have on the baby and child development.

[Annalee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I agree with the author's premise that overparenting is a problem. However, the author paints with way too broad a brush in many portions, particularly those in which she describes public schools. Alarmist claims of such things as kindergartens cutting recess (WHERE is this??) and other such things are just thrown out without a lot of substantiation. As a teacher in the public school system, I'm aware of many ways in which schools are flawed (of course), but the sections in which Marano criticizes the public schools only serves, I think, to fuel the fire of those who have no experiential knowledge of what happens in schools.

For a similar topic without the unnecessary criticism, I'd much more highly recommend Free-Range Kids, which instead of just presenting the problem of overparenting, actually reaches for real-world solutions.

[Sallyavena · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the book was a little redundent at times, I thought it brought out some very important points that we as parents need to realize. Parenting in this day and age is different and we really are going to pay for the overinvolved, overexpectant parenting. Kids need a chance to play, learn, explore and yes, even fail and we are not allowing that with our hyper vigilance. Without these things our kids are not able to go out on their own and our nation will reap the results of less than creative/intuitive workforce. For me this book was a little like preaching to the choir as it somewhat reinforced my way of parenting. However, I did learn some things as well as it reminded me to back off a little and let my kids fail and then learn from it.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book illustrates how "helicopter parenting" and "celebrating mediocrity" hurts our children much more than we may think. I completely agree with her main points, especially that parents need to let their kids fail and experience life on their own. What I didn't like was that she kept bringing up stay-at-home moms in a negative light. She sounded prejudiced towards stay-at-home moms and parents of kids in higher-end school districts, which was annoying to me. The problems she mentions can happen in any family, regardless of their socio-economic situation. I don't feel I learned anything I didn't already know about helicopter or invasive parenting, but I would recommend this book for those who do it without realizing how it may affect their child.

[melanie (lit*chick) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like most of these sociological books, it reads a little like a doctoral thesis. She does point out some interesting tendencies in modern parenting:
goal-oriented playing (parent involved, agenda driven) instead of free play; not allowing kids to fail or make mistakes; removing risk in the name of safety; and misuse of prescription drugs are just a few.

I don't think it needs to be read straight through, you can flip around and read parts. Of course, as a retired homeschooler, I don't agree with her characterization of it stemming from parental anxiety. If anything it causes not cures anxiety ;).

[Rene · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am giving the book four stars because it is though provoking and generally right in the trends Marano identifies. I must add, however, that she largely holds mothers responsible for raising this generation of 'wimps.' And thus comes the irony of the book: while criticizing mothers for being alarmist in their overwhelming need to protect their children, she takes a very alarmist tone herself, telling story after story of extreme helicopter parenting and dwelling on the most dire consequences experienced by their offspring (depression, anxiety, over medication, illegal drugs, self-mutiliation). American is going to hell in a hand basket, apparently.