Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School

by Benjamin Franklin, Carl Japikse (Editor)

A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are "The Letter to a Royal Academy"; "On Choosing a Mistress"; "Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable"; and other jibes. Franklin's irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Humor, American History, Satire, Essays, Philosophy

128 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2002

About the author

Benjamin Franklin was a writer, a philosopher, a scientist, a politician, a patriot, a Founding Father, an inventor, and publisher. He helped with the founding of the United States of America and changed the world with his discoveries about electricity. His writings such as Poor Richards' Almanac have provided wisdom for 17 years to the colonies.

Reviews

[Ami · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is why I asked David for Ben Franklin book recommendations. This is the kind of book I come up with on my own.

An okay collection of Franklin's writings, but I had seen about half of them in the second part of the last book I'd read, Autobiography and Other Writings. Did read a new piece "by" (Franklin writing in a pen name) the town gossip who tells an amusing story of why it's more fun to say negative things about other people than positive, and a piece sent to a Mathematician's Society challenging them to hold a contest for the invention of a chemical or food additive that will make farts smell pleasant.

However, the editor of the book is a slightly wonky conservative, one who believes that we no longer have true freedom of speech & press due to the needs to be "politically correct". The collection is offered as proof of Franklin's refusal to play nice & stick to script, and his love of agitation and shit-disturbing (for good causes, usually). The title piece comes not from Franklin's own work but from a piece written by the editor himself about a dream he had. I'm not enough of a Franklin scholar to know if the ideas that Dream-Franklin puts forth are truly in the spirit that Franklin would have offered them, although in the last essay actually penned by Franklin, he talks about the "indolence of the poor" and how laziness is encouraged by governmental relief efforts. The editor of the book believes that Franklin would have been more of a libertarian. Again, I don't know. Maybe? Probably? What's the party with the pretty ladies who are well-read and like to play chess? I think he'd be that one.

[Robu-sensei · Rating 3 out of 5]

Collected here is a sampling of Benjamin Franklin's bawdy, satirical and subversive essays. Though the title emphasizes the first of these categories, the best work represented here is in Franklin's delightful, scathing criticism of the Crown's mismanagement of the American colonies—particularly in the "Edict of the King of Prussia," which elicited outrage from many Londoners who took the proclamation as genuine.

My delight with Franklin's scandalous side was soured, however, by the editor's epilogue, told in the form of a dream. Amidst reasonable criticism of censorship in the name of "public correctness," Carl Japikse tosses in a whiny, unfounded rant against the separation of church and state, putting these outrageous words into Franklin's mouth:

[Editor:] "A nation which cannot pray together will soon have no ethics or moral standards. It will become a nation of opportunists, drunks and drug users."

[Franklin:] "I will grant you that."

Hear that propellerlike sound in Christ Church Burial Ground, Philadelphia? That's old Ben Franklin doing a hundred and twenty American revolutions per minute. A deist, Franklin undoubtedly understood the principles of religious freedom and tolerance better than Japikse seems to. So ironic is this parting jab that I wonder whether it is the editor's own play at satire.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Franklin's essays were interesting and amusing. Carl Japikse, the editor ruined the book by including that horrible essay at the end where he has a Revelatory dream about a conversation with Franklin, who tells him to spread the message of how America is giving up all her freedoms when he wakes up. The whole thing reads as a bunch of Tea Party talking points with "Franklin replied," and "Franklin said," added in. The last true Franklin essay expounds on his idea about why too much charity is bad for poor people, but other than that, none of the ideas the editor puts into Franklin's mouth are supported in the rest of the essays in this book. He doesn't even attempt to capture Franklin's voice. I have a feeling if Ben Franklin were alive today, he would write a satirical essay about Mr. Japiske.

[Darryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Part way through these 38 writings of Ben Franklin, I thought, "It's a sad comment on our times that we have to market some of the best political commentary and satirical work an American has produced by labeling it as being about farting." I still think that... though, to be fair, the book's editor, Carl Japiske tries to bring it all full circle by including a final little essay of his own in which he envisions BF castigating modern Americans for having sacrificed to government intervention 90% of the freedoms and liberties that are enshrined in the Bill of Rights and, ingeniously has BF encouraging Americans to "fart proudly" as a mechanism for asserting support for re-establishing our liberties. In this time of the 2012 Republican Party's presidential primaries this final piece would today be categorized as "extremist" and libertarian, as characterized by the positions of Ron Paul, one of the candidates for the nomination, or extremely right or left wing. In 1990, when first published, these views would have been considered even more extremist than they are today, and while BF might have expressed the views that CJ puts in his mouth, he surely would have done so with more facility and wit than CJ manages to muster in his leaden tongued harangue. While some of BF's writings are rhetorical gems they are 18th C usage and would be tough going for any 21st C. American with average knowledge of our country's history. Not only is the language usage a barrier, but logic, and worse still, extended satire are mostly lost on the literal minds of 21st C. Americans. BF would have more to say about that than CJ gives him credit.

[Spuddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of stories, newspaper articles and letters written by the esteemed Mr. Franklin, which, as the subtitle indicates, are not likely to be included in school curriculums. The book opens with the quote, "He who lives on hope dies farting" which was published in Poor Richard's almanac in 1736. The other pieces run in a similar vein, with Franklin leaving his guise as diplomat, statesman, inventor and wise, respected philosopher behind--he gets downright bawdy at times, other times inciting rebellion and scandal. Which is probably why I enjoyed it so much--it made an excellent 'bathroom book' for the past few weeks. LOL

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the first part of the book--Franklin's essays--and found them to be very timely. They made me laugh, and, interestingly, they could have been written for our time. That came through loudly, so I enjoyed the idea that political and social issues that existed more than two hundred years ago are still issues today. The idea made me think about what changes and what doesn't. Then, the editor had to add his own essay at the end, an essay about him meeting Franklin to discuss how America is today--and I felt like the cat in the cartoon that gets hit in the face with a frying pan. Did he think I wouldn't get it? Do I need to have my face bashed in to understand the point? I don't think so.

[Karyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book on a trip to Philly in an effort to make the founding fathers seem more human for my students... and after reading it, I think it actually might work. These essays, poems, and letters are great examples of Franklin's talents as a satirist and a wordsmith! I think there are several pieces I could use with my students in here- including the editors essay at the end which addresses what Franklin would say if he were to observe modern America.

[William Shep · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful selection of writings, many of them a bit off color, from Ben Franklin, a great Pennsylvania, great American, and citizen of the world.

[EchoHouseLibrary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Interesting to a point but I found myself bored not very far in. The title is just about the best part of this book.

[Aldo Verde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty — and fart proudly.

[Denise Lamonte · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very interesting book. I bought it because of the title. Turns out it contains "fake news" from one of our country's founding fathers. It also contains creative commentary on the economic, political and social milieu of the times. I think it would be very smart to use some of these essays in a US history course.
At the end of the book, the author/editor, Carl Japikse, shares a "dream" he had while reflecting on these essays. He meets Ben Franklin in heaven and gets an earful from this brilliant man. Here is a message Ben asks Carl to deliver to us, "...if you cherish your freedom and liberty...you are going to have to get to the point where the comforts and securities of life are no longer sufficient exchange for your loss of freedom....Speak freely to your friends and colleagues, and awaken them to the loss of freedom in this nation..."
Curious why Ben would say this to modern day America? Read Fart Proudly and find out.

[Garrett Cash · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would give five stars to Benjamin Franklin’s writing alone, which remains brilliant and lively in its satirical power, but for this particular collection I would only just barely give two stars because of the editor Carl Japikse. He writes an introductory essay about how the collection is meant to express freedom of the press (which Franklin does not seem very interested in throughout the pieces selected), and then concludes with an absolutely terrible “America sucks now because we don’t actually have freedom anymore” essay that stands in stark contrast to the timelessly genius writing of Franklin. This collection barely makes sense and Japikse doesn’t seem to understand what Franklin was going for at all. So I give his contribution one star, but throw in another for the fact that you can indeed read some great Benjamin Franklin pieces in here that you ought to read somewhere else.

[Abraham Lewik · Rating 1 out of 5]

In sober earnest, his hope for enjoyable smelling butt-squeaks is a perfect fit for the Weasley twins of J. K. Rowling's imagination and may yet become a fact, a real purchase available for the mischievous amongst us. Seriously serious, the farting scene in the original 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was funnier, the fun in reading wasn't here for me.

I appreciate this "essay" may have been bold to write during a time of prudish snobbery. I doubt it, wars have nearly started over missing pizzles. A fart &/ fart joke can feel so risky, but is it? (I.B.S. sufferers excluded) What is obvious is that rather than gaseous emissions gaining the tolerance of spitting, sneezing or nose-blowing, those others have gained the prohibition of the phantom poop. TV-shows like 'South Park' continue vulgarity but lack the practicality of Mr. Franklin's quest for the pill.

Thomas de Quincey writes a superior essay in this visceral style.

[Po Po · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ahh, old timey snark of Ben Franklin.

This book is a compilation of essays, letters, articles and poems on a variety of topics ranging from farting to gossipmongers to prolific women to choosing an aged mistress to gun sundials to transporting rattle-snakes to Britain (as it is a "most suitable return for the human serpents sent to us by our Mother Country"-- referring to Britain's export of felons to the colonies).

My favorite essays are:

(1) Rules for Making Oneself A Disagreeable Companion. Your business is to shine; therefore you must by all means prevent the shining of others, for their brightness may make yours the less distinguished.

(2) On Choosing A Mistress. "You should prefer old women to young ones."

-Because they have more knowledge of the world.
-Because when women cease to be handsome, they study to be good.
-Because there is no hazard of children. Children may be attended with much inconvenience.
-Because they are more prudent and discreet.
-Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that full the muscles appears first in the highest part: the face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the neck; then breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: so that covering all above with a basket , and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old one from a young one.
-Because the sin is less. Debauching a virgin may be her ruin, and make her for life unhappy.
-Because the compunction is less. Having made a young girl miserable may give you frequent bitter reflections; none of which can attend making an old woman happy.
-Because they [old women] are so grateful!


(3) "The Speech of Miss Polly Baker". Miss Baker (a fictional character) is prosecuted for having bastard children. This is her fifth such fine (for her fifth child). She declares "the duty of the first and great command of nature, and of nature's God: increase and multiply" and "therefore ought, in my humble opinion, instead of a whipping, to have a statue erected in my memory."

(4) Anthony Afterwit. A man marries a woman because her dad makes a promise of £200 to the man who marries his daughter. Long story short , dad doesn't give money. Man is upset. Daughter proceeds to spend man's money on furnishings for their place. When the wife goes away on holiday to visit an aunt, the man sells everything the wife has bought and tells his wife (via article in newspaper) that he will let her have the lifestyle she wants if her dad pays for it.

and of course:

(5) A Letter to a Royal Academy. It is universally well known that in digesting our common food, there is created or produced in the bowels of human creatures, a great quantity of Wind. Therefore, Franklin requests some drug wholesome and not disagreeable to be mixed with our common food or sauces, that shall render the natural discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as perfumes.

[Jeremy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've become more interested in this time period of American history lately, and enjoyed the chance to read some actual essays by Benjamin Franklin. The book starts humorously, then switches to more of his revolutionary work. I found it interesting that most of his creative writings would end with a very concise and dumbed down summary to be sure that the reader wouldn't miss his point.

I confess, I was disappointed to finish the book and realize that the title, Fart Proudly, was a contribution of the editor, and not from one of Franklin's essays. There was indeed some humorous reference to flatulence in the first essay, "A Letter To The Royal Academy", used to creatively insult the group.

Overall I enjoyed the writings, many times laughing out loud, and frequently admiring Franklin's eloquence. Some essays were lost on me, but on the whole it was worth the few hours it takes to read through in entirety.

[Erin Lale · Rating 4 out of 5]

The humorous and satirical short nonfiction of Ben Franklin is definitely a collection worth reading. Ignore the last part, titled The Dream, though. It's pure unverified personal gnosis. It's literally a dream of the collection's editor, in which he supposedly has a conversation with the ghost of Franklin; it's quite clear it's really the author's subconscious talking.

The parts that are actually by Franklin are fascinating, though. Some of it is really funny, and some of it is applicable to today's politics, and some of it is so oddly different from today's politics that it really shows the reader how times have changed. Some of Franklin's satires are meant as political commentary and some of them are just funny stories with twist endings. I recommend that my friends read this book -- and fart proudly.

[Jon · Rating 2 out of 5]

What could have been a great book was really hampered by the pointless ramblings and odd choices of the editor. The Franklin pieces chosen for inclusion were not really tied together in any sort of subject matter or chronological order. Weird. The editor even ended the book with an article by himself that was almost twice as long as any of Franklin's! What a douche.
And the title comes not from a Franklin article, but from the editor quoting himself?! What the what?

[Glen · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mediocre collection of some of Franklin's writings, some good, some not so good, topped off with a dreadful essay by the editor entitled "A Dream" that reads like something that would indeed cause a tea partier nocturnal emissions, but would cause Ben to roll over in his grave. The "F-word" is only used in one essay, and Franklin's more well-known musings on the opulence of flatulence are not included. Skip this one in favor of other, superior collections and editions.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book, but not as funny as I was expecting. There are a few amusing letters/essays, but overall it is more political satire than anything else. The last entry in this book is not by Franklin, but a "dream" the editor had in which Franklin spoke to him. It is interesting, yet I think it is just an opportunity for Japikse to voice his opinion on modern America.

[Renee E · Rating 5 out of 5]

Franklin gets five stars.

Japikse gets one. Maybe a half. Okay, one. He gets credit for collating these gems. But he comes off like a . . . like an armpit fart at the end. One should have the good sense to know that there's naught to be gained by adding one's own commentary to Franklin's. The comparison's not likely to be favorable.

[carl · Rating 5 out of 5]

i include this for one essay only, recommended to me by my uncle at the age of 16, i believe. that essay is entitled "on choosing a mistress." hilarious read and an eye opener.

the other essays i have not read.

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book. I gave it the 20% litmus test and just couldn't finish it. Maybe it's just too hot for Revolutionary language style (we're having a heat wave). It just wasn't for me right now.

[Kim Ciniello · Rating 5 out of 5]

In today's world Ben would have either been tutted away as an old crack-pot, or secretly assassinated by CIA. Maybe he'd be a critic for the New Yorker. Anyway, makes us "negative people" remember when it was OK to have an opinion not all "happy happy joy joy".

[Donna Anoskey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun book, thought provoking and funny. The last item is an imagined conversation with Benjamin Franklin in a dream, and while it is not intended to match Mr. Franklin's excellent writing, it is in keeping with the humor of the other works. A great read, definitely worth it.

[Bricoleur (David) Soul · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of writings by Benjamin Franklin that shows the bright mind and wit of this remarkable man.

[Sarah]

Thanks, Trivial Pursuit!

[Brad Mcdowell · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice collection of Franklin's writings that is almost completely ruined by the editor's closing essay.

[Raleighhunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

We need Ben Franklin's witty sarcasm today. His sun dial of cannons is a great example of governmental waste.

[Will Waller · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was humorous at parts--specifically that one might have advice on picking a mistress-- but fairly monotonous. Like most say, it's got a little too much of the Author's influence.

[The Carrion Librarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was really witty and I enjoyed it a lot. It's even funnier if you know any of the history behind it. My favourite essay/story was "on picking a Mistress".