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Five Things I Can't Live Without
On paper, Nora's life looks perfect. She's moving in with her boyfriend Dan, she has a stable job and a great group of friends. But she's stuck in what she refers to as "meta-life," the plight of overthinking and secondguessing to the point of self-sabotage. One day at work, Nora decides to thwart her meta-life by following her instincts. In what feels like a moment of revelation, she quits her job. Immediately, her meta-life goes into What on earth was she thinking--and what is she going to do now? Fortunately, when a friend asks Nora to rewrite her Internet dating profile, she realizes that not only is she good at it, but she really enjoys it. Billing herself as a Cyrano de Bergerac for the lovelorn, Nora finally begins to find professional success. But soon, Nora's meta-life has latched onto the question she's asked so many What are the five things she can't live without? Is her flourishing business one of them? Is Dan? With each new client and each step she takes in her own relationship, she must confront her biggest demon--her self-sabotaging "meta-life." But will she be able to slay it forever?
276 pages, Paperback
First published July 13, 2007
14 people are currently reading
502 people want to read
About the author
Holly Shumas
4 books18 followersI'm the author of "Five Things I Can't Live Without" (July, 2007) and the upcoming "Love and Other Natural Disasters" (January, 2009.) I split my time between writing novels and practicing therapy in the San Francisco bay area. "Love and Other Natural Disasters" is the story of a woman who's eight months pregnant when she discovers her husband has been having an emotional affair. It seems to spark lively debate and is perfect for book clubs. I'd love to come to yours (in person in the San Francisco area, or by call-in.) Over on my website (www.hollyshumas.com), you can find more about my novels, news and appearances, and various musings on love, relationships, books and publishing,(psycho)analysis of celebrity gossip, and other randomness. Glad to be here!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews
October 9, 2011
I enjoy cheeky chick lit form time to time and have a few favorite authors such as Marian Keyes, Ann Hood, Emily Giffin, Sophie Kinsella and now Holly Shumas. Books about women and their usual mishaps with their boyfriends, horrible jobs, jealous friends and annoying mothers who always call at the wrong time can be boring but not when done in a fun, smart way that teaches me a few things about life and about myself. This novel was not only refreshingly easy to read; it was intelligent and had an actual point!
From the beginning Nora is a self saboteur living a big crazy life in her head - she would rather cut her arm off than bear some small pain on it and over analyzes catastrophic scenarios and runs constant self investigation. On a whim she quits her job as a volunteer at an animal adoption shelter because writing bios for dogs who wouldn't get adopted was not something she truly got into. Instead she decided to write mini bios for people, more accurately - making great profiles for singles that have trouble getting noticed online. From the beginning Nora's own profile - part of the job even though she's not single - is empty and meager but as she meets people and helps them find themselves she shapes up her own profile and finds herself after a very bumpy road to success. Slowly but surely Nora found her own five thing's she can't live without and it was a lot of fun seeing those ideas take shape form her decisions.
As she helps people out her own life starts to fall apart, friends and family members make her compare her own life to their and the move with her boyfriend Dan of six months couldn't be more hasty. Meeting cute strangers in cafes to work on their profiles isn't helping either as something starts to happen. I cannot say another word, this book was a breeze to read, it took me one day, but it was brimming with atmosphere and charm and the ending was the best part, about 40 pages before the final words something grandiose perspired and I was biting my nails unable to put the book down until I finished ( at 2:20 am thank you very much). I really didn't expect to adore this book so much but it really grew on me and I'm thrilled to have found a new author who makes me smile.
Charming and refreshing, this book is deeper than it seems, the more I brood over what I read the more I like it! I will definitely be getting the author's second book, out next year.
From the beginning Nora is a self saboteur living a big crazy life in her head - she would rather cut her arm off than bear some small pain on it and over analyzes catastrophic scenarios and runs constant self investigation. On a whim she quits her job as a volunteer at an animal adoption shelter because writing bios for dogs who wouldn't get adopted was not something she truly got into. Instead she decided to write mini bios for people, more accurately - making great profiles for singles that have trouble getting noticed online. From the beginning Nora's own profile - part of the job even though she's not single - is empty and meager but as she meets people and helps them find themselves she shapes up her own profile and finds herself after a very bumpy road to success. Slowly but surely Nora found her own five thing's she can't live without and it was a lot of fun seeing those ideas take shape form her decisions.
As she helps people out her own life starts to fall apart, friends and family members make her compare her own life to their and the move with her boyfriend Dan of six months couldn't be more hasty. Meeting cute strangers in cafes to work on their profiles isn't helping either as something starts to happen. I cannot say another word, this book was a breeze to read, it took me one day, but it was brimming with atmosphere and charm and the ending was the best part, about 40 pages before the final words something grandiose perspired and I was biting my nails unable to put the book down until I finished ( at 2:20 am thank you very much). I really didn't expect to adore this book so much but it really grew on me and I'm thrilled to have found a new author who makes me smile.
Charming and refreshing, this book is deeper than it seems, the more I brood over what I read the more I like it! I will definitely be getting the author's second book, out next year.
April 11, 2009
So, this book came to me at the very perfect time in my life (thanks Kimlee!) and it took me very little time to get through it. I picked it up because it sounded "cute" and fairly light, but it ended up really piercing to the heart of many of my current issues.
As she is 29 ("almost 30") and I just turned 28, I felt a lot of her pain regarding her career choices, settling down, relating to her mother and her other girl friends. While the internet dating part was silly and two-dimensional, the relationships in this book carried it towards 5-stars. As a social worker, Shumas brings an amazing insight into psychology and familial, intimate, and inter-friend interactions.
A favorite quote about mothering:
"My mother had been overinvolved through my elementary-school years, but it was nothing compared to how she acted once I got into junior high. She was obsessed with my safety and convinced any bad choice would have dire consequences. I occasionally caught her eavesdroipping on my phone converstaions, and she tagged nearly every friend as being a 'bad influence.' That was her favorite expression until I turned eighteen. What she didn't realize was that she didn't actually prevent much of what she considered bad behavior; she just drove it out of the house. Well, she succeeded in making me completely anxious while I did it, which is why, for example, I needed to smoke pot before having sex."
HA! Does this smack of anyone else's mother's reaction to adolescence, or what??!!
A favorite quote about figuring yourself out:
"The plain truth of it is, I'm scared a lot. I'm afraid of losing what I have, of wasting my life, of not appreciating anything enough, of never getting anywhere, of being left behind. In my relationships, I've always eventually reached a place where I looked around and said, Is that it? Is that all ther is? Once I said yes, it could only be the end. I don't want that to happen anymore. I don't want to keep losing, but I don't know how to win."
As neurotic as it sounded in the book, the descriptions of Nora's "meta-life" could probably describe the inner-dialogue of any female of our generation who over-thinks, over-analyzes, and misses much of the fun of life in doing so....really a triumph as far as documenting how messed up we all are!!
As she is 29 ("almost 30") and I just turned 28, I felt a lot of her pain regarding her career choices, settling down, relating to her mother and her other girl friends. While the internet dating part was silly and two-dimensional, the relationships in this book carried it towards 5-stars. As a social worker, Shumas brings an amazing insight into psychology and familial, intimate, and inter-friend interactions.
A favorite quote about mothering:
"My mother had been overinvolved through my elementary-school years, but it was nothing compared to how she acted once I got into junior high. She was obsessed with my safety and convinced any bad choice would have dire consequences. I occasionally caught her eavesdroipping on my phone converstaions, and she tagged nearly every friend as being a 'bad influence.' That was her favorite expression until I turned eighteen. What she didn't realize was that she didn't actually prevent much of what she considered bad behavior; she just drove it out of the house. Well, she succeeded in making me completely anxious while I did it, which is why, for example, I needed to smoke pot before having sex."
HA! Does this smack of anyone else's mother's reaction to adolescence, or what??!!
A favorite quote about figuring yourself out:
"The plain truth of it is, I'm scared a lot. I'm afraid of losing what I have, of wasting my life, of not appreciating anything enough, of never getting anywhere, of being left behind. In my relationships, I've always eventually reached a place where I looked around and said, Is that it? Is that all ther is? Once I said yes, it could only be the end. I don't want that to happen anymore. I don't want to keep losing, but I don't know how to win."
As neurotic as it sounded in the book, the descriptions of Nora's "meta-life" could probably describe the inner-dialogue of any female of our generation who over-thinks, over-analyzes, and misses much of the fun of life in doing so....really a triumph as far as documenting how messed up we all are!!
February 12, 2008
I thought this book was awful! The characters weren't appealing and nothing ever grabbed me. It's a story of a near-30 year old woman who doesn't know what to do with her life (not exactly a new story)!! Then she makes all these supposed life-changing decisions, but really they weren't that extreme. I mean who hasn't quit a job and had to find a new one. Come on- let's find some new material to write about. Do not read this book- I don't even know why I finished it (the end, not very climatic).
April 23, 2009
Holy crap, this chick is only a slight exaggeration of my own neurosis. I had no idea there were other people out there chastising themselves for dwelling too much in the meta world. Funny reading, but I hope it doesn't enforce the behavior--I drive myself nuts enough as it is.
***
Ok, this was a bad one to binge-read. Although I believe the ending should have been uplifting, mostly what I'm feeling is self-hatred for being a less-endearing version of this girl. Ugh.
***
Ok, this was a bad one to binge-read. Although I believe the ending should have been uplifting, mostly what I'm feeling is self-hatred for being a less-endearing version of this girl. Ugh.
could-not-finish
August 31, 2025Gave it the 10% rule (read 10% of the total number of pages), but still couldn't get into it.
December 24, 2015
This book was given to me because apparently the main character, who is "almost living her life," is reminiscent of me. As much as I hate to say it...she totally is. This character is basically me in 10 years, with a lower BMI (the author included her height and weight for the sole purpose of torturing me). But for real, there is one part where she has a conversation with herself in her head, trying to figure out what she's doing with her life, and I swear I have thought basically the same thoughts.
Still, 3 stars because the book is mediocre and reminded me that I'm a semi-neurotic mess. (On the bright side, apparently I'm not the only one!)
Still, 3 stars because the book is mediocre and reminded me that I'm a semi-neurotic mess. (On the bright side, apparently I'm not the only one!)
July 30, 2007
I really liked the idea of seeing another struggle through their "meta-life" crisis, but whining can't be the answer. So I like the first couple of pages but the rest of the book took me forever to finish.
February 11, 2008
I love a nice lighthearted piece of chic lit, but this one just didn't keep my interest. The plot tried too hard to be believable and just ended up flopping around. Enjoyable, but certainly not the best in the genre.
April 6, 2008
a quick read with an ok message about the lack of committment which seems to be an epidemic in our country's youth. the writing was rather shallow and the curse words mixed in to the dialogue completely unnecessary.
January 5, 2009
This book is not one of them. A clever concept about a woman who wants to be a writer but can't commit enough to do more than help others rewrite their internet profiles. Not quite a good beach read (altho' that's where I read it) and not quite junk but plenty of angst and self doubt.
April 11, 2009
It wasn't bad--- I read it as kind of a palate cleanser from some of the serious stuff I've been reading. And it was light and served that purpose. It just didn't move me the way something less superficial might. Not that I was looking to be moved.
February 25, 2008
Quick, very light romantic comedy. Not one that I would recommend, but it was okay for a relaxing read when bored.
January 20, 2009
So I thought this book was going to be funny, but I don't think I laughed even once. It had potential to be funny, but fell short...
August 2, 2009
It was a quick read while riding on the plane. It is about a 29-year old girl that over analyzes her life. She writes on-line dating bios.
Maybe I'm too old to relate.
Maybe I'm too old to relate.
November 4, 2019
I was hoping for a change read something refreshing - something that will perhaps made me laugh or maybe cry or perhaps sexually arouses me …. Well with this book nothing of that have happend.
The main character Nora si to me some kind of Bridget Johnes clone. Bag full of worries, stress and self judgment. She have a metha life - Not meth life with meth life /or addiction this book will be probably even better than this metha life. Metha life is probably that the mein character Nora / author all the time writes about events form a third person view. Maybe something like inner goddess of L.E. James.
It all looks like castrated version of sex in the city or some clone of friends. There is not much of action only lots of conversation.... BLAH BLAH Blah.
I don't know what more to say about this book. Maybe my hope for its author that her other books are going to be better than this .
The main character Nora si to me some kind of Bridget Johnes clone. Bag full of worries, stress and self judgment. She have a metha life - Not meth life with meth life /or addiction this book will be probably even better than this metha life. Metha life is probably that the mein character Nora / author all the time writes about events form a third person view. Maybe something like inner goddess of L.E. James.
It all looks like castrated version of sex in the city or some clone of friends. There is not much of action only lots of conversation.... BLAH BLAH Blah.
I don't know what more to say about this book. Maybe my hope for its author that her other books are going to be better than this .
October 6, 2023
This book was published 16yrs ago and it’s both comforting and concerning just how relatable it is as a 29yr old today (2023). In a day where tiktok has so much influence I really wish this book had that place to grow all those years ago. The internal thoughts the main character Nora has in her “Meta-life” was like putting feelings into words regarding my own life. I bought this book at a library annual sale for less than a dollar and I feel like it was worth so much more. I will be recommending this to all my peers. Loved it!
August 3, 2017
Well, I could live without this book! Ugh! I hated this book! What the hell is a "meta-life" anyway? I do not "DNF" books, just like I don't walk out on movies. I read the book or sit through a movie, hoping it gets better. In this instance, it did not. I did not like the main character, and that usually is a bad sign. I felt she was too self-absorbed and had the personality of a wet dish rag. Oh, well... on to a new book and a new adventure!
December 10, 2023
Honestly this book was boring; literally nothing of interest happened. But I did feel really compelled by the way the narrator thought and in a way connected to it? The way she talked about her “meta life” was exactly the way I thought about my thoughts until I realized it was just anxiety. So basically uninteresting but comfortably relatable- and also someone really should have told the narrator to try Zoloft
June 28, 2017
This was a fast read for me, which is most of the reason why I actually finished the book. Although there are some bright spots (I dogeared Nora's epiphany for future reference), I just wasn't sucked into the story. I understand that Nora's overthinking is the entire premise of the book, but that makes her a pretty tedious narrator.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 27, 2020
This book was about 29 year olds navigating relationships and careers in anticipation of turning 30. I'm not sure if recommend it for someone at a different life stage, but I'm 29 and found it relatable! It was an easy read, and I thought dealt with some hard topics in a light yet emotionally intelligent way. The author clearly has a background in psychology and healthy relationship building.
December 7, 2019
Had a really hard time getting into the story and finding a connection to the characters. I was hoping for some comedic relief, but was rather disappointed. I really gave it a try but it just wasn't for me.
July 27, 2023
There were a lot of relatable topics throughout this book, and I appreciated much of the emotional analysis since the writer actually has a background in the topic. Overall, it was a book the kept my interest and had a satisfying ending.
March 27, 2019
Chick lit. Meta-life.... I can't believe I finished this one.... On a reading binge, only book I had available. Heading to the library.
January 22, 2021
Enjoyable chick lit
October 19, 2022
Loved this book alot
February 8, 2024
Did not think I could rate a book lower than four stars, so byeeee Nora the least self-aware character of all time!!!! It was a displeasure knowing you.
March 27, 2025
Read on my Kindle
dnf
January 8, 2026DNF @ 8%. Ik kan haar niet *uitstaan*, wow.
September 28, 2016
I loved this book because I really related to the main character and many of her friends. It helped me to learn more about myself in a way. Great read!
February 16, 2010
A good chick-lit is always a thrill to read, but finding good chick-lit is a hit-or-miss, at least for me. I never really liked reading chick-lit with too much sex, so I was wary of picking up anything without checking its reviews and such.
The blurb of this book was interesting from the start, which caused me to get this book. I’m a lot like Nora, the main character of this book, who lives in “meta-life” half the time. There was a solid cast of characters behind Nora, not to mention all her “clients”.
It was a fun read really…but it didn’t really work for me.
I don’t know. It was interesting at first, but as I read the book, I started getting disinterested with the book. I wanted to get to the point of the book, and when I read the blurb again, that’s when I realized that the point of the book was for Nora to figure out what were the five things she couldn’t live without. Duh.
But that’s the thing. I didn’t feel the need for Nora to find out those five things. There wasn’t anything pressing in the story for Nora to find that, except that she was asking them to her clients — which didn’t really show in the story, really, except for the profiles. If anything, Nora was more concerned with her boredom with her “work”, and her relationship with Dan. It was almost boring, save for some fun stuff with Nora’s friends, especially Larissa.
I liked the ending of the story, though, with all that Nora learned from her overthinking and her experiences. However, it just wasn’t life-changing or earth-shattering for me. It was a sort of enjoyable read, but not exactly something I’d like to re-read.
The blurb of this book was interesting from the start, which caused me to get this book. I’m a lot like Nora, the main character of this book, who lives in “meta-life” half the time. There was a solid cast of characters behind Nora, not to mention all her “clients”.
It was a fun read really…but it didn’t really work for me.
I don’t know. It was interesting at first, but as I read the book, I started getting disinterested with the book. I wanted to get to the point of the book, and when I read the blurb again, that’s when I realized that the point of the book was for Nora to figure out what were the five things she couldn’t live without. Duh.
But that’s the thing. I didn’t feel the need for Nora to find out those five things. There wasn’t anything pressing in the story for Nora to find that, except that she was asking them to her clients — which didn’t really show in the story, really, except for the profiles. If anything, Nora was more concerned with her boredom with her “work”, and her relationship with Dan. It was almost boring, save for some fun stuff with Nora’s friends, especially Larissa.
I liked the ending of the story, though, with all that Nora learned from her overthinking and her experiences. However, it just wasn’t life-changing or earth-shattering for me. It was a sort of enjoyable read, but not exactly something I’d like to re-read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews