Asperger's From the Inside Out: A Supportive and Practical Guide for Anyone with Asperger's Syndrome

by Michael John Carley, Peter F. Gerhardt Ed.D. (Foreword)

An intimate, engaging, and insightful guide to coping with Asperger's-from one of the condition's most passionate advocates.

Michael John Carley was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at thirty-six-when his young son received the same diagnosis. This fascinating book reveals his personal experience with the confusion and trauma associated with this condition-and offers insights into living an independent and productive life.

Now the Executive Director of the world's largest Asperger's oranization, Carley helps readers in such areas

- Social interactions
- Nurturing interests
- Whom to confide in-and how
- Dealing with family and loved ones
- Finding work that suits your strengths and talents

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Aspergers, Self Help, Health, Mental Health

252 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2008

About the author

Michael John Carley received his B.A. from Hampshire College and his M.F.A. from Columbia University. As the Founder, and first Executive Director of GRASP, the largest organization comprised of adults on the autism spectrum, he spoke at over 100 conferences, hospitals, universities, and health care organizations. As the Executive Director of ASTEP, he spoke at conferences focusing on Human Resources, Corporate Diversity & Inclusion, and he conducted numerous trainings and webinars for individual Fortune 1000 companies.

He has appeared in the media widely, most notably in the New York Times, Washington Post, NY Newsday, the London Times, HuffPost Live, NEWSWEEK OnAir, ABCNews, BBC News, FOX News Network, the Chronicle of Philanthropy, the Chronicle of Higher Education, Psychology Today, Exceptional Parent Magazine, and on radio with Terry Gross’ Fresh Air, and The Infinite Mind. NPR News also aired a 12-minute story in June of 2006 that featured he and GRASP. Carley was also featured in the documentaries, "On the Spectrum," and "Off the Rails."

He was one of two people on the spectrum to address Congress in their first-ever hearings on autism, he has addressed the United Nations, and his articles have been published in magazines such as Autism Spectrum News, Autism Spectrum Quarterly, and Autism/Asperger Digest. He has two columns with the Huffington Post (the national "Autism Without Fear," and the more local "Autism Without Fear—Green Bay Edition") and his third book, "The Book of Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum...and Beyond!", will be out in 2018.

He was the inaugural FAR Fund Fellow in 2003; and he has since received NYFAC's Ben Kramer Award (2008), the BCID Award for Service (2009), Columbia University's Herbert M. Cohen Lecture (2011), and Eden II's Peter McGowan & John Potterfield Achievement Award (2011). He also proudly sits on the Advisory Boards of GallopNYC, CHASE, Autism Asperger Network Magazine, and he is on the Board of Directors of NEXT for Autism..

Until 2001, Mr. Carley was the United Nations Representative of Veterans for Peace, Inc. In that time, he was known primarily for his work in Bosnia, and in Iraq as the Project Director of the internationally acclaimed Iraq Water Project. Prior to 2001 he was also a playwright who enjoyed 15 productions and 10 readings of his plays in New York.

Along with his (then) 4-year old son, he was diagnosed with AS in November of 2000. He lives with his wife, Kathryn Herzog, and 2 sons in Green Bay, Wisconsin, where, after decades of New York City, they recently moved to the Midwest where he is now a state-wide School Consultant.

Reviews

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written book - aimed at adults with Asperger's Syndrome. The author uses his own personal experiences (as well as input from others on the autistic spectrum) to take a positive & helpful look at the challenges to be encountered by adults with AS. There are excellent sections on disclosure, coping strategies & relationships (all with helpful tips) - and a nice appendix, with information about GRASP, as well as other resources.

[Fishface · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is only OK. The title leads one to believe that this is aimed at helping people with AS, but 3/4 of it is the autobiography of the author, who appears only lightly challenged by his Asperger's and who in fact appears to have lived rather a charmed life. Some of it should prove very validating for people with AS who were bullied in school and so on. This book would be fine if that were all the reader wanted. The last small section is a rather dismissive rundown on what a person with Asperger's needs to do in order to find suitable work, have a satisfying love life and la de da, and presumably this is what the book is for -- but it doesn't really point the reader in any sort of direction.

[Velvetink · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Borrowed from Library for coursework project."
Well this wasn't so useful for the particular course topic I'm working on but is an excellent guide for newly diagnosed adults to come to terms with their diagnosis and move forward. Michael John Carley describes his own experiences and also the global autism support group GRASP that he is now part of.
Refreshingly positive ideas about the autism spectrum, also great links and biblio.

[Kazango · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and decently-written book, but I do not think I was part of the intended audience. I am on the spectrum and have known/suspected such for decades. I already have coping mechanisms (some good, some not-so-good). The book might be intended more for an audience of folks who have only just met with their diagnosis.

I have seen other reviewers propose that the book is intended for neurotypicals. I am inclined to disagree. There are at least parts of the book that I do not think the average NT will “get”, just because they are not on the spectrum.

Lastly, a criticism for the publisher: I read an eBook edition which included the index from the print edition...without page numbers. Obviously they knew the pagination would be useless for an eBook, but an index that isn’t hyperlinked is just as useless! And for that matter, given the fact that any decent eBook software/device allows one to search the whole text for any words/character strings he wants, an un-hyperlinked “index” isn’t merely sloppy. It is just plain lazy and shows that the publisher doesn’t understand ebooks. I think this is disappointing in this era.

[Trish Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Asperger’s From the Inside Out was written by Michael John Carley, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s shortly after his son was given a diagnosis. He has since become involved in helping others with AS and is the Executive Director of GRASP, which is the Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership.

The opening chapters cover some background information on Asperger’s Syndrome, as well as Carley’s own experience being diagnosed and then examining his past through that filter. The book also brings out the issues surrounding disclosure and provides some possible coping strategies, a discussion of special interests and, finally, a fascinating look at what happiness really is.

I really like what he has to say about the diagnosis of AS:

"Diagnosis is not intended as a eulogy, but almost instead as a starting point, a context, or a filter through which to discover the person’s individuality–far quicker that without it."

He makes another great point in the chapter about coping strategies, talking about how strategies that are offered in books like this are theoretical and are not going to work the same for every person. He stresses that they are not foolproof but are worth trying – in quantity – in order to find the ones that make a difference.

All in all, I think this would be a great book for anyone who either has Asperger’s Syndrome or is close to someone who does. Carley provides a tremendous amount of helpful information while emphasizing the individuality of every person on the spectrum.

[Prudence · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who has Asperger's or thinks they may have Asperger's, this book is for them. This book is almost like a manual for those with Asperger's and autism, and will help with dealing with any situation. If you are an outcast and think differently than what neurotypical's perceive as "not normal" than this is the book you need to read. It helps any autistic learn to cope with the world and new strategies to deal with new issues.

[Aspen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful for the Asperger's/Autism community. As a person who works with autism, it was insightful to the feelings and difficulties faced. As someone with possible AS, I found it helpful to myself. I have read many books recent;y on the subject. This was the most unassuming. It detailed what we may feel, what things may help us, without saying this is it, there is no other way, as I have noticed some other books do.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a few "quirks" that persons with Asperger's also have, but I'm far too petrified to ever get evaluated for it...and I kind of like just being "quirky." This book helped me to feel better about my shortcomings - it's just the way I'm wired (or *not* wired) so I either have to deal with them, or try to think them through and improve on what I'm doing "wrong."

[Paula Obermeier McCarty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and Informative. I liked the discussions about coming to terms with the diagnosis.

[Justine · Rating 4 out of 5]

My fascination with the topic drew me to this book. Well written by someone who was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult. It has lead me to understand the behavior of a co-worker.

[Michael Philliber · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Asperger's From the Inside Out" is written primarily for those who have been diagnosed, or self--diagnosed, with Asperger's Syndrome (AS). Michael John Carley is the Executive Director of The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership (GRASP), and himself was diagnosed with AS at age 36.

Because "Asperger's From the Inside Out" was written by someone with AS and for those with AS, it is very much a "you're not alone; you're not the only one who has struggled with this or that" kind of book. This is its primary strength. Not only does Carley define what AS is, but he also works through the emotional shock that may come from being diagnosed with AS. The author guides the reader through subjects such as lived-out peculiarities of those with AS, relationships, sex, employment, education, childhood, and when-if-and-how to disclose the diagnosis to others in your life.

One important aspect that Carley covers is coming to let go of resentment for things that happened, and didn't happen, before diagnosis. As he works through his own story, the author describes how parents, teachers, and fellow classmates often mistreat, misjudge and misunderstand someone with AS before diagnosis because of their otherness and oddness. The author explains the "other side" and why the misunderstandings were often understandable, and how at times the person with AS may have exacerbated the problems by their own frustrations and actions. His conclusion is for the person living with AS to let the troublesome past go, and if they can't let it go to approach the family members with an apology for their own actions. He also recommends that there may well be the need for parents to ask their children's forgiveness for their own misapplied pressures and misjudgments, now that a diagnosis has been given.

The book is rather choppy in its composition for the first quarter. Not only are there annoying shifts of topic from paragraph to paragraph, with very little transition, sometimes those topical shifts happen within paragraphs. It's somewhere in the middle of Chapter Three that the writing becomes smoother. On a personal level, there's another weakness in the book: the sexual ethics discussed are looser than I am comfortable with.

"Asperger's From the Inside Out" has very helpful information about Asperger's Syndrome. Not only would it be a helpful resource for those diagnosed with AS, but it would be a valuable work for those who love someone with AS. I recommend the book.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked that this is a memoir from a man diagnosed as an adult, after his son was diagnosed. I have heard that that is not an uncommon scenario, but it seems we don't often get to read about it. He provides some interesting insights. Definitely worth reading if you have someone with Aspergers in your life.

[Kenneth Mcklinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Michael John Carley presents a lucid narrative reflecting on his personal experiences with Asperger's Syndrome through the relationship with his son and his personal experiences as an adult. A wealth of supportive narratives from others personal experiences and references are utilized to provide insights to those coming to understand their or loved ones Aspergers Syndrome.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense but interesting and helpful.

[Gemma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eye-opening.

[Cory · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful tools inside. Glad I own it!

[John (JP) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aspergers syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Much of the popular literature is on the childhood manifestations of the syndrome. This book concentrates on adults who have grown up knowing they have or for some reason were diagnosed later on in life The book is not for the parents of kids or adults that are severely disabled. The books focus is for those who are high functioning. Many of these people are under employed or unemployed because although they be academically bright ,they have social issues that keep them from being accepted in the workplace. Think the characters in the Big Bang Theory. This book has an in-depth concentration on workplace issues and social issues that adults encounter in social situations. It is written and voiced in the 1st person. You see this world through the eyes of the author. Author gives voice to what many who have the syndrome and have wondered, why life was just so damn hard. He proposes strategies and tactics to work around the difficulties that have the syndrome encounter

[Cynthia Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carley is the founder of GRASP, an advocacy organization for people with AS. He is a late-diagnosed aspie and the father of a son on the spectrum. He was also a professional diplomat prior to getting into AS advocacy,so he brings a wide range of experience to his writing. Asperger’s From the Inside Out takes a practical approach, giving the reader background on Asperger’s syndrome in the context of Carley’s personal experiences, both in his family and as an AS support group leader and advocate.

This was probably the tenth book I read on AS so I didn’t find a lot of groundbreaking new information here. I think it would make a good second or third read–after a more thorough guide like Attwood’s. Carley’s approach is honest with a positive, can-do slant. He understands the language of the ASD community and is sensitive to the issues faced by late-diagnosed adults, including the controversy around assimilating.

[Chelo Biggerstaff · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book leaves a huge gap concerning women who have Asperger's, it was still a thorough entry into understanding Asperger's Syndrome.

Michael John Carley discovered he had Asperger's as an adult, when his young son was diagnosed. He went through all the self-doubt and wondering why he didn't fit in. Then a light bulb came on.

While the tone was slightly more clinical than I expected, this book was informative and thorough. I learned a lot about Asperger's from reading it and would recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about Asperger's.

[Ross Heinricy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good find for me as I have Asperger tendecies and two of my children have asperger's though they are both "high functioning" aspergerites. This book is very helpful both from a personal and a parental perspective on how to see my role on both levels and how to adjust my thinking accordingly. Knowing who you are and who your children are helps tremendously when the frustrating moments, tendencies, attributes, etc. are experienced.
Overall, great insight and a number of great tools and helps, including the knowledge of the availability and functionality of the GRASP organization.

[Stephanie C. Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was the best part of learning about what Asperger's is and how to understand it. It is far better to learn about it from the point of view of another Aspie than from someone who holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is seeking to earn a living off of us while giving us no real voice. The anecdotes in this book are what make it so useful. It shows through experience what Asperger's is and how it works, and makes a person feel proud to be an Aspie. We need more of that.

[Gerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm thinking that someone I know has aspergers and am reading all about it. I find I have some of the traits as well. Maybe we're all somewhere on the austistic spectrum.

And even if my someone doesn't have it, there are several people I know from church and the library who do and this and other books I've been reading will give me better insights into serving them better.

[Christian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt this book was more targeted at "normal" people than at people who (think they may) have Asperger's syndrome. There were various parts that I felt were very blunt, whereas for AS people, a more gentle approach would likely be better.

I'll give it just two stars because of that bluntness, but other than that, it was a reasonable introduction to what AS is.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good basic book to read to get a general overview of Asperger's; increases understanding of some of the trials of the diagnosis, points out a few strategies for coping with the diagnosis, and points the reader toward helpful resources.

[Rachel Swords · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this book is meant for those with AS, it is also a good read for friends and family members too.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

More information and perspective for adults which is typically left out of books on this subject is given in a positive light.

[Lisa Konet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gut-wrenching and honest. Carley is brutally honest about his diagnosis of high functioning on the autism spectrum, Asperger's syndrome, as an adult. Filled with his insights, observations and practical advice for other adults in the same situation. It does not have to be the end of life as you know it. I like his advice about who and why to seek for support and also that high functioning adults on the spectrum can still live an independent life! I learned a lot from this book and am purchasing it to own.

I appreciate the POVs and focus on adults with late diagnoses. There are thousands and thousands of books about babies, kids and teens with autism or Asperger's. There are not many books about adults. Thanks for your honesty, advice and giving hope to adults in the same situation.

[Nihou · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in the field of Asperger's (I do know there isn't a specific diagnosis any more, and the people concerned are more likely to be diagnosed with High Functioning Autism now), or looking for understanding of themselves or others. It seemed pretty comprehensive and will be helping me tailor interventions for the offenders with whom I sometimes work. It was good to have so many quotes from other authors or GRASP members, as it added diversity and nuance to the subjects covered. How he talked about his son at the end was just lovely.

[Andy Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

A near 5-star because although Carley doesn't talk about what exactly the definitions of Autism/AS are, he does so in enough broad detail. His work as a supporter, activist and someone with this condition informs every page. In friendly close language there's stories and advice: on education, employment, relationships, travel and happiness. If not for you, this may be the book you're looking for to better understand your friends on the spectrum. I found it engrossing and moving.

[Banana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insights and discussion surrounding the autistic spectrum from the perspective of Michael John Carley, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s at age 36 following his son’s diagnosis. The strategies presented and reflections on how autism may present itself in various situations / aspects of life were very beneficial to me and I feel optimistic to now have that awareness as someone potentially soon to ‘walk the walk.’