“I wanted to cry. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I loved Smoky and wanted to be with him forever, yet when I thought of him and marriage I saw only shacks, kids, no food, and both of us fighting. I saw myself with my head down and Smoky looking like an old man, laughing only when he was drunk. I loved my people so much and missed them if I couldn’t see them often. I felt alive when I went to their parties, and I overflowed with happiness when we would all sit down and share a meal, yet I hated all of it as much as I loved it.”
Another day, another person's life story to delve into. This is probably the only time I will say this about not just a memoir but a book in general, but this needed to be longer bro. I feel like I’m lying to myself when I say that, but I honestly do think I wouldn’t have minded like fifty more pages, even if there is a lot of shit going on as is. Fun fact, the original manuscript was 2000 PAGES LONG YES but Maria Campbell’s editors reduced it to less than 200…I mean, I wouldn’t have survived 2000 pages…but still.
Maria Campbell's monumental 1973 memoir Halfbreed reads as a history book of sorts. Taking place in mid-20th century Canada, Campbell shares stories of her childhood and her life as a Métis woman. Between her tight-knit community in Saskatchewan to urban Vancouver, she tells us about
Métis culture and community, debilitating hardship, the prejudices of society, and more oh my!!
When I say Halfbreed reads as a history book, it’s because the book consists of stories that are told independently of a central “event” that would have prompted Campbell to write about her life in the first place. I’ll use Judy Fong Bates’s memoir The Year of Finding Memory as a comparison. Fong Bates’s trip to China is the “driving plot” of her book, and this journey serves as the background and her source of reflection to non-chronologically tell her life story. Halfbreed, however, does not have a central occasion; the book simply progresses as the years do, and the the stories Campbell tells follow a mostly linear, chronological sequence. Further, she begins her memoir with a brief history of Métis resistance and defeat in Canada before she actually talks about her own personal family history. This is such a good way of setting the foundation of the rest of the book, as Métis history constitutes both the past and present for Campbell’s life as she tells it. Like, this is the story of not just her yknow, it’s the story of a collective group, and there’s some profound significance in that.
Throughout the book Campbell talks at length about the immense struggles she and her family face being Métis. And her feelings of both love and hate, exemplified in the quotation above, are such raw and honest moments. Halfbreed is rich with Métis culture and I loved reading about their traditions, community structures, and holiday events. I laughed, I teared up, I cringed, I got pissed, I learned, you get it. Campbell does such a good job of making her community, the land and its people, feel genuinely alive in the pages. The pride and love she has for them is palpable, but she also shares the shitty parts of being Métis, like the commonplace violence and their identity in general: that feeling of existing on the margins. Campbell’s recollections of the shame, anger, hatred, and disdain she felt toward her own community are some of the most powerful moments in the book that really stuck with me. She articulates this complexity so so well and just wow wow wow.
Okay this is a very quick read. It’s both short and easy to digest. Let me clarify that this digestibility I’m talking about comes from how Campbell writes, not necessarily the content itself. She’s super concise and gets to the point of what she wants to say without super flowery prose. The subject matter, however, is heavy, and in a way, Campbell’s quick, short style is almost jarring in that she seems to breeze by some genuinely heart-wrenching shit. She doesn’t tend to dwell on a single anecdote or incident for longer than she needs; she tells the story and moves on to the next. I like this because it is so quick to read and her writing feels like you're actually there listening to her. However, I’m curious about what else she felt, especially during moments that are particularly straight up life changing or life shattering. This isn’t because I want to hear about how she suffered btw omg, it just felt crazy how fast we were moving on likeeee damn I need a minute to process this.
I was prepared for heavier topics to come up, but I was not expecting Campbell to be so fucking young during all of it. She was born in 1940, and when I saw her mention that the current year was 1960 after reading about all the soul-crushing stuff she had endured prior to that, I was fuckin astonished. I’m roughly the same age she was at the time of her talking about being on her own, having children, being broke and jobless, and dealing with addiction, and I still can’t fathom how she managed to get through it. And the thing is, she almost didn’t. That being said, this is one of those books where I wanted to like reach through time and the pages and act as a friend. With Campbell’s writing style, these darker moments aren’t written about in lots of detail, but they’re still devastating in their simplicity and frankness. The nice thing about reading older memoirs is that I know how the author is doing now in the “future.” The edition I have includes a new introduction from 2019, and bro I cannot explain how genuinely reassuring and comforting it is to know that her life is a lot lighter. Maria Campbell is so fucking cool and this sounds silly but I’m so proud of everything she’s accomplished, like she’s a big deal guys.
I’m dishing out a very unsure 3.5, like my feelings are conflicted. To be clear, I really enjoyed reading and I highly recommend the book!! I’m just a little indifferent about memoirs. Nevertheless, Halfbreed and Campbell really do deserve all their flowers. I get why this book is still studied in Canadian schools today, especially considering its recent updates: the aforementioned introduction, as well as an afterword from Campbell herself and (THIS ONE IS CRAZY) the TWO NEW PAGES THAT WEREN’T IN THE BOOK UNTIL 2019. Again, the original manuscript was 2000 pages, but these two specific pages that were cut contain a story that Campbell really wanted to keep in that involves a fucking diabolical incident between a young her and the RCMP. This story wasn’t publicly known, or at least part of her memoir, until 46 years after the book’s publication. I can only imagine what else is in that original manuscript if stuff like this was covered up. Anyway, history is rarely a thing of the past, check out this book, and Maria Campbell you will always be famous.