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The House With All The Lights On
The House With All The Lights On is a lyrical exploration of family, identity and history, and what it is to be a member of a family where the most beautiful of bonds are born in difference
'If I were to tell you our story in sign language-the story of my grandparents and me-I'd begin with a single finger touching my chest.'
Jessica Kirkness has traversed the boundary between deaf and hearing cultures all her life. Her memoir tells the story of her grandparents who grew up deaf in a hearing world-one where sign language was banned for much of the twentieth century-and weaves in her own experience as a hearing child in a family that often struggled to navigate their elders' difference.
This journey takes her from the family home to the workplaces of research audiologists, and back to England where she visits her grandparents' old schools and other family landmarks-discovering along the way how terribly their deafness has been misunderstood.
The House With All The Lights On captures the universal experienceof navigating complex family relationships and beautifully explores the nuances of identity in what is both a memoir and a love letter to those closest to her heart.
'An elegant and empathic love letter to family.' Fiona Murphy, author of The Shape of Sound
'A sensory window into Deaf gain and other complexities of our community.' Asphyxia, author of Future Girl
'Kirkness tells a moving, artful story about how we seek to understand our grandparents, and how they become the frame through which we see the world.' Andrew Pippos, author of Lucky's
'If I were to tell you our story in sign language-the story of my grandparents and me-I'd begin with a single finger touching my chest.'
Jessica Kirkness has traversed the boundary between deaf and hearing cultures all her life. Her memoir tells the story of her grandparents who grew up deaf in a hearing world-one where sign language was banned for much of the twentieth century-and weaves in her own experience as a hearing child in a family that often struggled to navigate their elders' difference.
This journey takes her from the family home to the workplaces of research audiologists, and back to England where she visits her grandparents' old schools and other family landmarks-discovering along the way how terribly their deafness has been misunderstood.
The House With All The Lights On captures the universal experienceof navigating complex family relationships and beautifully explores the nuances of identity in what is both a memoir and a love letter to those closest to her heart.
'An elegant and empathic love letter to family.' Fiona Murphy, author of The Shape of Sound
'A sensory window into Deaf gain and other complexities of our community.' Asphyxia, author of Future Girl
'Kirkness tells a moving, artful story about how we seek to understand our grandparents, and how they become the frame through which we see the world.' Andrew Pippos, author of Lucky's
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 4, 2023
16 people are currently reading
379 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
February 19, 2024
Goodreads stole my review.
Of course I'll never get it back.
I had a personal connection to this story, in a very round about way.
It peeves me off silly things happen in this Amazon esque bottish kind of way.
Ugh. How do you recreate the words, and so many nice friends had nice things to say.
The end of the world, no, but as I don't do any social media apart from here, my reviews and my books are important to me.
Good on you, Goodreads.
Or as I saw somewhere, Good dreads.
I have been remiss in not updating this to thank Allen & Unwin for my physical copy to read and review. I was too intent on being cranky with GR.
Of course I'll never get it back.
I had a personal connection to this story, in a very round about way.
It peeves me off silly things happen in this Amazon esque bottish kind of way.
Ugh. How do you recreate the words, and so many nice friends had nice things to say.
The end of the world, no, but as I don't do any social media apart from here, my reviews and my books are important to me.
Good on you, Goodreads.
Or as I saw somewhere, Good dreads.
I have been remiss in not updating this to thank Allen & Unwin for my physical copy to read and review. I was too intent on being cranky with GR.
October 7, 2023
This is an interesting and gentle read that focuses on the writer's relationship with her deaf grandparents. A memoir that focuses on family. I love the way the family makes games with the lights etc to attract the grandparents' attention. It gives a lot of insight into issues with the deaf community and the way people label, and at times dismiss, others for what they see as a disability.
One point that really interested me was how covid and wearing of masks adversely affected those deaf who rely on sight and on reading lips. And how sight and touch work together in the deaf brain and how they process differently to hearing people. Not something I had ever thought of.
My thanks go to Allen and Unwin for my copy which I won to read and review. An insightful read and I hope many more people will take the chance to read this thoughtful and thought provoking book.
One point that really interested me was how covid and wearing of masks adversely affected those deaf who rely on sight and on reading lips. And how sight and touch work together in the deaf brain and how they process differently to hearing people. Not something I had ever thought of.
My thanks go to Allen and Unwin for my copy which I won to read and review. An insightful read and I hope many more people will take the chance to read this thoughtful and thought provoking book.
September 6, 2023
Jessica Kirkness starts her book by saying that she cannot write this book in Auslan as there is no accurate way to represent Auslan in a written format. As I read “the House with all the lights on”, I found myself fully immersed into Jessica’s life and family, experiencing such a sensual and personal story with her. I was captivated by the beautiful prose that captures the thoughts, feelings and emotions of the experiences of Jessica and her family. Mervyn and Phylliss Hunt, Jessica’s grandparents, are the stars of this memoir. Mervyn lost his hearing at the age of eight, and Phylliss at eight months. This book is about them as two unique and talented people, as much as it is about their deafness and Jessica’s experience of her life with them in it.
“Deaf people refer to themselves as the ‘People of the Eye’ … in Deaf circles, visuality is celebrated as part of ‘Deaf Gain’: the notion that there are unique cognitive, creative and cultural benefits arising from Deaf ways of being in the world.” I was fascinated and in awe by the concept of being hypervisual, and Jessica refers to Oliver Sacks’ writing about Deaf people “possessing a superior acuity for analysing what happens in the peripheral visual field”. Their sense of touch is also just as sharp. She also refers to Gerald Shaw’s writing about “the relationship between light and sign language”, and the significance of the movement of hands and body gestures that sight and light project.
The push for a cure or to limit it through bionic devices – and I learned that cochlear implants while amazing are permanent, and to remove them may reduce whatever level of hearing is left entirely forever. The arguments for and against captioning, using sign language, lip reading were explored. I had never read a lot about deafness, although I was aware of how it impacts family through my sister and niece, and my eyes were indeed opened to thinking about deafness in such a different way.
“Disability, and indeed deafness, is the thing that we cannot look away from but cannot bear to face”. This is a memoir you must read.
“Deaf people refer to themselves as the ‘People of the Eye’ … in Deaf circles, visuality is celebrated as part of ‘Deaf Gain’: the notion that there are unique cognitive, creative and cultural benefits arising from Deaf ways of being in the world.” I was fascinated and in awe by the concept of being hypervisual, and Jessica refers to Oliver Sacks’ writing about Deaf people “possessing a superior acuity for analysing what happens in the peripheral visual field”. Their sense of touch is also just as sharp. She also refers to Gerald Shaw’s writing about “the relationship between light and sign language”, and the significance of the movement of hands and body gestures that sight and light project.
The push for a cure or to limit it through bionic devices – and I learned that cochlear implants while amazing are permanent, and to remove them may reduce whatever level of hearing is left entirely forever. The arguments for and against captioning, using sign language, lip reading were explored. I had never read a lot about deafness, although I was aware of how it impacts family through my sister and niece, and my eyes were indeed opened to thinking about deafness in such a different way.
“Disability, and indeed deafness, is the thing that we cannot look away from but cannot bear to face”. This is a memoir you must read.
Read
September 22, 2023I listened to this as an audiobook, which in itself is interesting given the memoir is an exploration of the experience of being deaf through the author’s grandparents. It’s a deeply personal story, an exploration of grief and of family relationships as much as it is an attempt to understand deaf culture and experience and translate that to a hearing world. I think this personal element gave depth to the narrative and provided an engaging approach to the topic. It was a thought provoking reflection on a community I personally do not have a lot of knowledge on.
December 3, 2023
Disclaimer: I admire and adore Jess profoundly, but by the time we met —rather unexpectedly, I might add— I had already read her book. Yet, as usual, I am writing the review months after reading it, but my opinion and rating have remained unchanged.
This book is described as a Memoir, but I would classify it as a Love Letter instead. It depicts a beautiful blend of biographical narrative, research and lyrical prose; however, these elements are secondary to what this book truly is: Jess's love letter to her grandparents.
Grandma and Grandpa became deaf at a young age —six months old (approx.) and eight years old, respectively— and learned different ways to co-exist in the hearing world. Growing up and through adulthood, Jess has been incredibly close to her grandparents, both emotionally and physically. Their unique closeness exposed Jess to the rich intricacies of the Deaf community and inspired her PhD and the research behind this book.
And I could dig deep into what makes this book one of the best Memoirs I have ever read: the outstanding and thorough research of biological, technological and cultural nature, the respect, care and utter authenticity of Jess's admirable intentions, the insightful explorations of the nuances of family dynamics, communication and identity, or the fact that Jess's writing is simply delightful.
Instead, I will tell you about a Q&A with Jess and @yumikokadota that I was lucky enough to attend. An interpreter was present, and at least three-quarters of the audience were Deaf.
It was the best Q&A I have ever witnessed.
Not only was everyone entirely mesmerised by the authors' chat —and the fact that everyone present could understand it— but I also felt deeply moved by the continuous engagement from the audience and the happy faces that did not stop smiling throughout the event.
Overall, The House With All the Lights On is an unmissable and unforgettable Memoir full of heart and warmth, moving and impactful, that I encourage everyone to read. I will not tire of recommending it.
This book is described as a Memoir, but I would classify it as a Love Letter instead. It depicts a beautiful blend of biographical narrative, research and lyrical prose; however, these elements are secondary to what this book truly is: Jess's love letter to her grandparents.
Grandma and Grandpa became deaf at a young age —six months old (approx.) and eight years old, respectively— and learned different ways to co-exist in the hearing world. Growing up and through adulthood, Jess has been incredibly close to her grandparents, both emotionally and physically. Their unique closeness exposed Jess to the rich intricacies of the Deaf community and inspired her PhD and the research behind this book.
And I could dig deep into what makes this book one of the best Memoirs I have ever read: the outstanding and thorough research of biological, technological and cultural nature, the respect, care and utter authenticity of Jess's admirable intentions, the insightful explorations of the nuances of family dynamics, communication and identity, or the fact that Jess's writing is simply delightful.
Instead, I will tell you about a Q&A with Jess and @yumikokadota that I was lucky enough to attend. An interpreter was present, and at least three-quarters of the audience were Deaf.
It was the best Q&A I have ever witnessed.
Not only was everyone entirely mesmerised by the authors' chat —and the fact that everyone present could understand it— but I also felt deeply moved by the continuous engagement from the audience and the happy faces that did not stop smiling throughout the event.
Overall, The House With All the Lights On is an unmissable and unforgettable Memoir full of heart and warmth, moving and impactful, that I encourage everyone to read. I will not tire of recommending it.
August 11, 2023
I borrowed this book mistakenly believing it was a novel. I wasn’t sure how I would go wit it but it was a wonderful book. Not only was it very insightful about D/deafness and D/deaf culture, it was a heartwarming story about a family living with D/deafnes and spanning the bridge of the hearing and non hearing worlds. I certainly learned a lot from this book.
August 2, 2025
You know what’s wild? Alexander Graham Bell was out here inventing the telephone
and
lobbying against deaf people having kids lest they have deaf kids and thus, ruining his plans for world domination. A man of many talents — all of them shady. ☎️🫣
This memoir is heartfelt, lyrical, and absolutely eye-opening. Jessica Kirkness dives into her family’s deaf history like she’s dusting off a forgotten photo album, only instead of awkward 90s bangs, it’s colonial-era oppression and sign language bans. 😬
I learned so much about the deaf community, especially the tech in the ’80s—doorbells that flashed lights, phones hooked to typewriters, and all sorts of clever hacks hearing people never even think twice about. It made me sit with my privilege for a bit, and honestly? That’s what good memoirs do.
And here’s something that hit hard: the assumption that deafness is a problem to be “fixed.” Hearing folks can get so giddy about surgeries, implants, and “miracle” hearing aids, without ever asking if the person wants to be “fixed” in the first place. For many deaf people, this isn’t a flaw to correct — it’s a culture, a language, a fully valid way of existing. My body, my choice. Period.
Some parts did feel a little meandering, but the moments of reflection, historical insight, and emotional punch were 💯. The hospital story made me rage-text my friend. The Mandy Harvey section made me want to fight trolls. And I now have permanent side-eye for Alexander Graham Bell.
Tender, infuriating, illuminating — this book is both a love letter and a loud reminder that we still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding, respecting, and accommodating difference.
This memoir is heartfelt, lyrical, and absolutely eye-opening. Jessica Kirkness dives into her family’s deaf history like she’s dusting off a forgotten photo album, only instead of awkward 90s bangs, it’s colonial-era oppression and sign language bans. 😬
I learned so much about the deaf community, especially the tech in the ’80s—doorbells that flashed lights, phones hooked to typewriters, and all sorts of clever hacks hearing people never even think twice about. It made me sit with my privilege for a bit, and honestly? That’s what good memoirs do.
And here’s something that hit hard: the assumption that deafness is a problem to be “fixed.” Hearing folks can get so giddy about surgeries, implants, and “miracle” hearing aids, without ever asking if the person wants to be “fixed” in the first place. For many deaf people, this isn’t a flaw to correct — it’s a culture, a language, a fully valid way of existing. My body, my choice. Period.
Some parts did feel a little meandering, but the moments of reflection, historical insight, and emotional punch were 💯. The hospital story made me rage-text my friend. The Mandy Harvey section made me want to fight trolls. And I now have permanent side-eye for Alexander Graham Bell.
Tender, infuriating, illuminating — this book is both a love letter and a loud reminder that we still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding, respecting, and accommodating difference.
October 11, 2023
4.5 stars!! “Both a memoir and a love letter to those closest to her heart” 😭😭😭 describes this book perfectly. Thoughtful, deep, artful, and personal. I quickly fell in love with Jessica and her grandparents! Learned a lot about D/deaf culture, the complexity of family relationships, and the nuances of self.
November 26, 2023
It gave a lot of insight into the lives of deaf people, particularly in Australia but lacked any structure whatsoever, and it felt like the author was just writing in short bursts of energy. Most chapters didn't follow any sort of logical or chronological order and it was often confusing to revisit moments in different times of the author/author's grandparent's lives.
May 11, 2025
I love I love I love deaf stuff
July 8, 2025
a beautifully crafted story of a granddaughters love and admiration for her grandparents and the lived experiences of the Deaf community in Australia
September 27, 2023
A readable memoir that celebrates family, particularly the author's bonds with her grandparents. Also gives a thoughtful insight into Deaf culture.
October 3, 2023
Full disclosure: Jess Kirkness is a friend of mine, but I feel no bias in recommending her debut memoir and cultural study of deafness.
With the most elegant and clear prose we are invited to contemplate the meaning of being Deaf/deaf in a hearing world as we learn about the lives of Jess’ grandparents, and the ways in which their family and world has been delineated and enriched by her grandparents’ deafness.
This is a really touching read with the pure love of a grandchild flowing through every single word, and with so much to offer to readers in terms of learning and cultivating an awareness that might not have been there before. 'Deaf gain' is a concept I'll now never forget.
With the most elegant and clear prose we are invited to contemplate the meaning of being Deaf/deaf in a hearing world as we learn about the lives of Jess’ grandparents, and the ways in which their family and world has been delineated and enriched by her grandparents’ deafness.
This is a really touching read with the pure love of a grandchild flowing through every single word, and with so much to offer to readers in terms of learning and cultivating an awareness that might not have been there before. 'Deaf gain' is a concept I'll now never forget.
March 5, 2024
4.5 stars ✨
This book to me felt like equal parts exploration of d/Deaf culture and a love story to the author’s grandparents which made for a beautiful, insightful book.
The author’s grandparents are both profoundly deaf and the book explores their experiences and the changes to culture and technology in their lifetimes, as well as the experiences of their hearing family members immersed in the d/Deaf community.
The novel also feels like the processing of the author’s grief on the loss of her grandfather which made me emotional and nostalgic for my own Nana who I lost last year. It was a beautiful tribute of love to her grandparents and highly education - definitely recommend this one
This book to me felt like equal parts exploration of d/Deaf culture and a love story to the author’s grandparents which made for a beautiful, insightful book.
The author’s grandparents are both profoundly deaf and the book explores their experiences and the changes to culture and technology in their lifetimes, as well as the experiences of their hearing family members immersed in the d/Deaf community.
The novel also feels like the processing of the author’s grief on the loss of her grandfather which made me emotional and nostalgic for my own Nana who I lost last year. It was a beautiful tribute of love to her grandparents and highly education - definitely recommend this one
September 22, 2023
A beautifully written memoir, one that gives a much-needed voice for the Deaf community, examining a range of experiences within and connected to Deaf culture, all tied up in a very personal story. The writing was so lyrical and carefully considered. I really appreciated the variety in this book - it looks at the systemic issues around the way our society has and does treat those with deafness, while looking at her own family's story. A really worthwhile read.
December 29, 2023
I have been reading, ‘The House With All The Lights On’ and finished it today, what a beautiful book.
Like Jessica, my Grandparents were d/Deaf so I could relate to certain parts of what Jessica has experienced and witnessed throughout her relationship with her Grandparents.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in family dynamics and d/Deaf culture. Jessica articulates her words in an amazing way.
Like Jessica, my Grandparents were d/Deaf so I could relate to certain parts of what Jessica has experienced and witnessed throughout her relationship with her Grandparents.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in family dynamics and d/Deaf culture. Jessica articulates her words in an amazing way.
November 24, 2023
A heartwarming read. I found myself crying multiple times throughout reading. Jessica’s relationship with her grandparents and her family is so beautifully written and so honest. Their tangles with communication force the reader to confront their own foibles and to put the book down frequently to process how different communication can be and how dehumanising certain practices can be.
September 17, 2023
An ode to her grandparents, this book seems to be more a book for the author to deal with the grief and loss of her grandfather, and the processing of guilt associated with a world of hearing. Well written, but very focussed on the world of the Deaf.
September 3, 2023
Picked this up on a whim at the library while I was checking out something else. Wasn’t too bad. Bit slow in parts but it was interesting.
August 1, 2024
”For many parents of deaf children, grief is an uncomfortable part of the equation. The moment they learn of their child's deafness is often the moment they relinquish their dreams and imaginings for that child's future. For parents in the twenty-first century, this often takes place at the point of newborn hearing screening, where they watch their child 'fail' the first test they've ever taken”.
✨5 stars✨
⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS BOOK/REVIEW: death of a grandparent, grief⚠️
I came across this book a couple of months ago. Not too sure what exactly I looked at or researched in order for it to come to me in the first place, but judging by the blurb, I had a feeling that this would be the perfect read! Which is why I’ve also made The House With All The Lights On by Jessica Kirkness a July Alyssa’s Self Audible Book Club pick! 🤗
Listening to this book, along with the physical copy, I saw a lot of similarities in both mine and Kirkness’ story. One of them being that the both of us studied Auslan at the Deaf Society! (now known as Deaf Connect).
As a Grandchild of Deaf Adult (GODA, unsure if this is an actual term that is used in the D/deaf Community), it was heartwarming to be able to listen to another person’s experience growing up with D/deaf grandparents.
I also enjoyed listening to the different perspectives of Nanny and Grandpa’s life stories.
Even though both of them lost their hearing due to illness, their two stories were different.
One part that made me smile was when Kirkness mentioned;
’I was always fond of their vocal quirks - the way Nanny says ‘jar-a-can-dah’ instead of jacaranda’.
This made me think about the vocal quirks that my Nan has. I’ll share a couple of them here ☺️
1. Thy-me =Thyme (the herb)
2. Big Bang Therapist = The Big Bang Theory
3. Ka-koom-bah = Katoomba
Overall, I absolutely enjoyed this read! I would recommend it to anyone and everyone who is interested in learning more about D/deaf culture or who are looking diversify their reading 🤗✨🌻
✨5 stars✨
⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS BOOK/REVIEW: death of a grandparent, grief⚠️
I came across this book a couple of months ago. Not too sure what exactly I looked at or researched in order for it to come to me in the first place, but judging by the blurb, I had a feeling that this would be the perfect read! Which is why I’ve also made The House With All The Lights On by Jessica Kirkness a July Alyssa’s Self Audible Book Club pick! 🤗
Listening to this book, along with the physical copy, I saw a lot of similarities in both mine and Kirkness’ story. One of them being that the both of us studied Auslan at the Deaf Society! (now known as Deaf Connect).
As a Grandchild of Deaf Adult (GODA, unsure if this is an actual term that is used in the D/deaf Community), it was heartwarming to be able to listen to another person’s experience growing up with D/deaf grandparents.
I also enjoyed listening to the different perspectives of Nanny and Grandpa’s life stories.
Even though both of them lost their hearing due to illness, their two stories were different.
One part that made me smile was when Kirkness mentioned;
’I was always fond of their vocal quirks - the way Nanny says ‘jar-a-can-dah’ instead of jacaranda’.
This made me think about the vocal quirks that my Nan has. I’ll share a couple of them here ☺️
1. Thy-me =Thyme (the herb)
2. Big Bang Therapist = The Big Bang Theory
3. Ka-koom-bah = Katoomba
Overall, I absolutely enjoyed this read! I would recommend it to anyone and everyone who is interested in learning more about D/deaf culture or who are looking diversify their reading 🤗✨🌻
January 21, 2024
The House With All the Lights On is beautiful, emotional and enlightening. There are so many layers: it is at once a compassionate family memoir, written with love and honesty , but at the same time, it provides insights into Deaf Culture, Deaf advantage, Deaf pride and the essential nature of language and communication required to build effective relationships and communities.
Author, Jessica Kirkness does not sugar-coat the challenges of living in a multi-generational household of deaf and hearing members, but she writes passionately about those challenges and how she and her family have addressed them over the decades. The book also provides a well-informed summary of the changing face of Deaf education in the UK and Australia, throughout 3 generations. Questions of oralism versus bilingual (signed / English) communication, the place of cochlear implantation, the inclusion of Deaf people in a predominantly hearing world and the richness of the Deaf Community are all addressed, challenging the reader to think more deeply about these issues. The chapters on music and deafness were especially thought provoking.
I highly recommended the book to anyone with an interest in family dynamics, the celebration of new life and the sadness of the passing of loved relatives. I recommend it also to anyone with an interest in Deafness, language communication and to all who desire to make our communities more inclusive, genuinely celebrating the diverse and wonderful nature of humankind.
Author, Jessica Kirkness does not sugar-coat the challenges of living in a multi-generational household of deaf and hearing members, but she writes passionately about those challenges and how she and her family have addressed them over the decades. The book also provides a well-informed summary of the changing face of Deaf education in the UK and Australia, throughout 3 generations. Questions of oralism versus bilingual (signed / English) communication, the place of cochlear implantation, the inclusion of Deaf people in a predominantly hearing world and the richness of the Deaf Community are all addressed, challenging the reader to think more deeply about these issues. The chapters on music and deafness were especially thought provoking.
I highly recommended the book to anyone with an interest in family dynamics, the celebration of new life and the sadness of the passing of loved relatives. I recommend it also to anyone with an interest in Deafness, language communication and to all who desire to make our communities more inclusive, genuinely celebrating the diverse and wonderful nature of humankind.
September 4, 2023
I found this book to be so interesting and it made me rethink what is defined as 'normal' and also how we label people we perceive to be 'disabled'.
Jessica writes primarily about her grandparents who were both deaf. Her grandfather losing his hearing at around eight years of age and her grandmother at about six months of age. It also discusses the impact of a 'hearing' centric community where inability to speak clearly is used as a measure of intelligence and use of sign language is considered 'other'. The book beautifully presents arguments for and against the use of cochlear implants in very young children as well as the heart break of being labelled with a 'disability' where measures of normal come from a place of privilege.
This is a read that is full of humanity and gave me pause to reflect on my on preconceptions about what it is to hear and be heard.
Thank you Allen & Unwin for the hardcopy ARC that I won.
Jessica writes primarily about her grandparents who were both deaf. Her grandfather losing his hearing at around eight years of age and her grandmother at about six months of age. It also discusses the impact of a 'hearing' centric community where inability to speak clearly is used as a measure of intelligence and use of sign language is considered 'other'. The book beautifully presents arguments for and against the use of cochlear implants in very young children as well as the heart break of being labelled with a 'disability' where measures of normal come from a place of privilege.
This is a read that is full of humanity and gave me pause to reflect on my on preconceptions about what it is to hear and be heard.
Thank you Allen & Unwin for the hardcopy ARC that I won.
September 23, 2023
A heartfelt read which I could not put down…
I came across The House With All The Lights On while browsing for a book to read during travelling and on the beach etc. I then ended up carrying this book with me everywhere!
Jessica’s wholehearted writing hasn’t left me. It was an absolute privilege to have read Jessica’s story which transported me into different emotions, experiences and the perspectives of living life without sound.
The author does an outstanding job of looking into deaf culture from different angles and includes interesting research and statistics. Jessica’s writing gives us a beautiful insight into her treasured relationship with her deaf grandparents, as well as their deaf/communication journey from their past to modern day.
Very grateful to have come into contact with this book, it’s currently being ordered by my friends and my copy is now making its way through my entire family!
I came across The House With All The Lights On while browsing for a book to read during travelling and on the beach etc. I then ended up carrying this book with me everywhere!
Jessica’s wholehearted writing hasn’t left me. It was an absolute privilege to have read Jessica’s story which transported me into different emotions, experiences and the perspectives of living life without sound.
The author does an outstanding job of looking into deaf culture from different angles and includes interesting research and statistics. Jessica’s writing gives us a beautiful insight into her treasured relationship with her deaf grandparents, as well as their deaf/communication journey from their past to modern day.
Very grateful to have come into contact with this book, it’s currently being ordered by my friends and my copy is now making its way through my entire family!
January 30, 2024
For context, I am myself a profoundly deaf person and a PhD candidate. This is a wonderfully written book. Jessica has done an incredible job taking on an important topic that is sadly underexplored. While we have a growing literature on deaf culture and the deaf community, there isn’t much on what it’s like to have deaf family members in the family, or in Jess’s case, deaf grandparents. She effectively integrates critical storytelling (autoethnography if you want to be specific), reflection of her own memories and positionality, while discussing issues in the deaf community with sensitivity, which is not an easy task to pull off. Her words are colourful, insightful, and deeply emotional and personal, while at the same time, highly educational and inspires curiosity. I highly recommend this book, it is a great starting point for anyone wanting to learn about the deaf community, deaf culture, and what it’s like to have deaf family members.
August 7, 2025
The House With All The Lights On is a story about Deaf culture told through the author celebrating the lives of her deaf grandparents. The narrative is a mix of the author reminiscing about her grandparents and explaining how Deaf culture changed over her grandparents’ lives. It was enlightening to learn how Deaf culture was shaped by resisting repressive views such as that sign language was akin to primate language rather than human language. Deaf culture was also shaped by achievements that society expected to require hearing, such as enjoying or playing music. The author acknowledges that there are deaf people who do not embrace Deaf culture. However, these perspectives are only briefly acknowledged and not expanded upon.
August 9, 2023
Absolutely incredible. I began reading this book thinking it might be an insightful ode to Deaf culture. It absolutely is, but it is also so much more. The book is a celebration of family, a collection of memories and reflections written with love. A non-fiction book that somehow still paints an incredible picture that makes you feel as though you’re there with the author. I couldn’t put this book down. Every chapter is insightful, loveable, and emotional. I laughed, I cried, I learnt a lot about the Deaf community, about communication, and I loved the familiarity of family dynamics explored throughout. 10/10
February 29, 2024
I don't normally rate biographies but this one resonated with me. Having grown up with profoundly deaf family members and seen their struggles this book was very relatable (I could also relate a lot to Jessica being sensitive). The history of sign language and the way deaf children have been educated is an eye-opener, especially for people who don't understand much about sign language (the number of people who think that sign language is universal!). I now work at a school that has a deaf facility and a number of deaf students - I will be getting a copy of this book for our library.
April 5, 2024
An earnest recount of a GODA experience with a really interesting exploration into her Grandparents lives/experiences across UK & Aus. Some favourite insights:
Deaf people routinely expect - at least in hearing company - to be misunderstood … in interactions between the deaf and the hearing, communication is a process of trial and error, and the onus is always on the deaf person.
My grandfather died much in the way he had lived; with patience for a world that misunderstood and often denied his autonomy.
Deaf people routinely expect - at least in hearing company - to be misunderstood … in interactions between the deaf and the hearing, communication is a process of trial and error, and the onus is always on the deaf person.
My grandfather died much in the way he had lived; with patience for a world that misunderstood and often denied his autonomy.
November 29, 2023
I listened to this as an audiobook which was ironic, yet somewhat understandable because Auslan is such a visual language which is difficult to capture in a written format.
The author honours her grandparents by recounting her memories of her childhood. She explores Deaf culture, CODA challenges, and her experiences learning Auslan. As an Auslan student myself, I appreciated the excellent overview of the elements that make Auslan such a beautiful language.
The author honours her grandparents by recounting her memories of her childhood. She explores Deaf culture, CODA challenges, and her experiences learning Auslan. As an Auslan student myself, I appreciated the excellent overview of the elements that make Auslan such a beautiful language.
April 4, 2025
Such a delicate balance of historical non-fiction, with ample information around Auslan, how far services for hearing impaired folks have evolved and adapted and a personal recount from Kirkness.
Her grandparents would be so proud of how educating this text is, hits all the marks when you analyse a perfect biographical piece.
I cannot extend my recommendation enough! Super earnest and tear jerking moments - this book is an easy 10/10
Her grandparents would be so proud of how educating this text is, hits all the marks when you analyse a perfect biographical piece.
I cannot extend my recommendation enough! Super earnest and tear jerking moments - this book is an easy 10/10
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