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162 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 1935
In front of them, their leader – a degenerately skinny kid with the sulky face of a fish – kept time with a long drum major's stick. He held this stick obscenely erect, with the knob at his crotch, it then looked like a monstrous monkey's penis that had been decorated with braids of coloured cord. Like a dirty little brute, he would then jerk the stick level with his mouth; from crotch to mouth, from mouth to crotch, each rise and fall jerking to a grinding salvo from the drums. The sight was obscene. It was terrifying – if I hadn't been blessed with exceptional composure, how could I have stood and looked at these hateful automatons as calmly as if I were facing a stone wall? Each peal of music in the night was an incantatory summons to war and murder. The drum rolls were raised to their paroxysm in the expectation of an ultimate release in bloody salvos of artillery. I looked into the distance... a children's army in battle order. They were motionless, nonetheless, but in a trance. I saw them, so near me, entranced by a longing to meet their death, hallucinated by the endless fields where they would one day advance, laughing in the sunlight, leaving the dead and the dying behind them.
'Il y avait maintenant une fuite dans ma tête, tout ce que je pensais me fuyait. Je voulais dire une chose et, presque aussitôt, je n'avais plus rien à dire.' (p.96)
'Inutile de parler. Déjà les choses sont mortes, comme dans les rêves.' (p.101)
'Toutes choses commencèrent à se décrocher (...) il aurait fallu les fixer (...) aucun moyen. Mon existence s'en allait en morceaux comme une matière pourrie' (p.81)
'- Je souffre. - Que puis-je faire ? - Rien.' (p.96)
'Je comprenais qu'à Barcelone, j'étais à l'extérieur des choses.'
Of this I am sure: only an intolerable, impossible ordeal can give an author the means of achieving that wide-ranging vision that readers weary of the narrow limitations imposed by convention are waiting for.
(Georges Bataille, Author’s Foreword, 1957.)
In London, in a cellar, in a neighbourhood dive – the most squalid of unlikely places – Dirty was drunk. Utterly so. I was next to her (my hand was still bandaged from being cut by a broken glass). Dirty that day was wearing a sumptuous evening gown (I was unshaven and unkempt). As she stretched her long legs, she went into a violent convulsion. The place was crowded with men, and their eyes were getting ominous; the eyes of these perplexed men recalled spent cigars. [...] Drunkenness had committed us to dereliction, in pursuit of some grim response to the grimmest of compulsions.
Ma femme, que j'avais honteusement délaissée, me téléphonait d'Angleterre, par inquiétude ; pendant ce temps, l'oubliant, je traînait ma déchéance et mon hébétude dans des endroits détestables. Tout était faux, jusqu'à ma souffrance. J'ai recommencé à pleurer tant que je pus : mes sanglots n'avaient ni queue ni tête.