Ich ein Tag sprechen hübsch

by David Sedaris

Was bringen Seminare für Kreatives Schreiben? Eigentlich nichts -- so dachte man. Nun aber lehrt uns ein neuer Erzählband von David Sedaris, dass Seminare für Kreatives Schreiben uns Lesern zumindest etwas bringen: Die Geschichte Die Lernkurve nämlich, in der ein "Mr. Sedaris" von seinen Erfahrungen als Dozent eben eines solchen Kurses berichtet. "Aufgrund eines schrecklichen Mißverständnisses" der Universitätsverwaltung plötzlich an eine Horde Schreibhungriger geraten, bringt der ehemalige Kunststudent ihnen (und uns) in entlarvendem Dilettantismus bei, dass Seminare für Kreatives Schreiben eigentlich gar nichts bringen -- außer, wenn man darüber derart komisch wie Sedaris schreibt.

Wie Nackt oder Fuselfieber, so enthält auch Ich ein Tag sprechen hübsch zahlreiche weitere skurrile Fallbeispiele aus Sedaris' Vergangenheit, darunter solche über katastrophische Sprachtherapien und erste Akterfahrungen -- oder jene ebenfalls (angeblich?) autobiografische Erzählung vom jazzfanatischen Vater und seinem aberwitzigen Plan, das "Zwergentalent" seiner Familie zu Dave-Brubeck-Qualitäten aufzublasen. Und dann gibt es da noch die herrliche Titelgeschichte über die verzweifelten Versuche eines Amerikaners in Paris, der im Alter von 41 Jahren wieder die Schulbank drückt und sich mit der Landessprache sowie den grausamen Erziehungsmethoden seiner Lehrerin herumschlagen muss: Ich ein Tag sprechen hübsch. Da darf man unumwunden sagen, dass dieser Tag für Mr. Sedaris längst gekommen ist. Denn hübsch schreiben, das hat er wieder einmal bewiesen, kann er allemal.

"Für wen... verdammte Scheiße noch mal... halten Sie sich?", fragt eine vom Unterricht entsetzte Studentin ihren Lehrer für Kreatives Schreiben im Buch. Und man möchte ihr antworten, wofür man ihn selber hält: für einen der witzigsten Autoren der amerikanischen Gegenwartsliteratur. --Thomas Köster

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Memoir, Essays, Short Stories, Comedy, Audiobook

352 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

David Raymond Sedaris is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "Santaland Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked (1997), became his first of a series of New York Times Bestsellers, and his 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day won the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Much of Sedaris's humor is autobiographical and self-deprecating and often concerns his family life, his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, his Greek heritage, homosexuality, jobs, education, drug use, and obsessive behaviors, as well as his life in France, London, New York, and the South Downs in England. He is the brother and writing collaborator of actress Amy Sedaris.
In 2019, Sedaris was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

Reviews

[Brian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just don't care for David Sedaris.

There, I've said it. I've made peace with the fact. I have stared deep into the cockles of my heart, and forced myself to come to the only obvious-but-unpopular conclusion.

I just don't care for David Sedaris.

It was somewhat of an existential struggle for me to reach this conclusion because I'm exactly the kind of person who should like David Sedaris.

I am a sarcastic Generation Xer with an overdeveloped sense of irony. I enjoy reading personal essays about poignant and humiliating events in people's personal lives. Understated comedy is favorite genre. I look at myself in the mirror and practice being droll. Hell, I even like listening to This American Life on NPR. I am exactly the target demographic for the witty, petty misanthropy with which Mr. Sedaris plies his trade.

But, I just don't care for David Sedaris.

I find him to be thoroughly unlikable. He comes across as the type of person who might be fun to have a beer with, but, afterwards, he'd probably make fun of you behind your back. When I was reading this book, I thought that his stories and characters were a little too colorful and a little too perfect to be true. And, as he tells the stories of his childhood, he comes across as a 40 year-old gay man trapped in an eight year-old's body (wow, that sentence doesn't sound right!). After I finished the book, I found that Mr. Sedaris does, indeed, subscribe to a rather fluid definition of "truth"--some of the instances were exaggerated. And, by "exaggerated', I mean "completely made up".

But these revelations have done little to stem the tide of bare-knuckled enthusiasm of his legion of fans. I am confronted by people who are adamant that, despite my protests to the contrary, I really do like David Sedaris. It seems that Mr. Sedaris' work has become a litmus test for a certain level of sophistication. If you tell people that you just don't care for David Sedaris, they look at you like you've got a mullet tucked into the collar of your shirt, a six pack of Old Milwaukee in the fridge, and a Tivo filled up with NASCAR races.

Well, I for one refuse to be pigeon-holed. And, today, I am calling on all like-minded people to join me! And, together, we can...uh not like Sedaris.

Say it with me! We're loud, we're proud...

...and we just don't care for David Sedaris!

[Kasia · Rating 1 out of 5]

That about sums it up.

Because, what's the point to these anecdotes? Are you trying to tell me something Mr. Sedaris? I think not. You think you're funny? Meh, not that funny. Special? You're not that special either. You're a writer, just another writer. What's the big deal?

As I said, I don't care much for your little stories. Seriously, my dear, I don't give a damn.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty, wry, bitter, delightful.

My mom gave me the book. I was living in France at the time, so she thought David Sedaris and I would have a ton in common. She went to a Sedaris booksigning to get a personalized message to her gay son in France. After he was done reading, she jumped up to get him to write a note to me, "David! My son is gay! He's living in France right now, please sign this copy for him!" He had already started an orderly signing process, going down the rows. He looked at her disgustedly and intoned, "I'll get to you." He then skipped her row and did all the others first, making everyone in her row hate her (imagine the wrath of a row of David Sedaris fans - ouch). When he finally got to her - last - he said, "name?" and she started her story about me: "Tim. He's 17 and he's gay and he's been living in France this year, so if you could put something about France -" He handed her book back, not having heard anything past my name, instead writing some witty thing with bad grammar that played off the book's title. When I returned from France, my mother gave me the book but had lost all respect for the author. "It's a good book but he was a complete asshole," she said.

My mother's experience aside, I'm sure Sedaris is not actually a soulless, cruel person. If you want a light read by a smart, gay cynic, this is a great book.

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great way to spend your weekend! Please turn on the audiobook and listen this spectacular, smart, extremely humorous essays!

First part consists of author’s life before his move to France. Some snippets from suburban Raleigh/ NC life and moving to big apple, working at bizarre jobs for making ends meet. ( so entertaining)

But the second part (in French “ deux”) about moving to Normandy / France with his partner Hugh, adjusting process, his efforts to talk in French and suffering from failures was so much better! I fell down from my couch several times as I laughed too hard. My stomach still hurts! Why didn’t I read the author’s other works before?

I highly recommend this amazing read! Especially the audiobook is quite fascinating! A great way to brighten your mood and have an enjoyable Saturday!

[Justin Tate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah! My first David Sedaris read--not counting the weird Squirrel book--and I finally understand what all the fuss is about. The humor is so good it's mesmerizing. I'm in awe of his ability to make ordinary life sparkle through such rich narration.

There is no mundane task that Sedaris cannot do without dazzling the reader. Anything and everything is cause for social commentary and uproarious observation. From learning to play the guitar to going to the movies to an unusually large turd floating in the toilet, he finds opportunity to poke fun at the world, poke fun at himself, and combine various events into unforgettable knee-slapping comedy.

Truly a landmark, I totally get why this book continues to endure nearly 20 years later. It is an instant-classic that belongs just behind Mark Twain, if not--dare I say--in front.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been thinking a lot about this, and I have come to the conclusion that David Sedaris is one of the worst human beings in history, i.e., since human beings were first invented by an incompetent, Jerry Lewis-like god or by the inscrutable permutations of natural phenomena. This isn't a moral judgment. It's more like when someone tells you that you have spinach stuck in your teeth. It's both the mere reportage of a fact and a public service. Because, after all, you wouldn't want to walk around all day with spinach in your teeth, and you wouldn't want to spend your life mistakenly thinking that David Sedaris wasn't evil and unfunny.

Maybe I hate David Sedaris so much (abstractly; not with the visceral hatred I have for Mariah Carey) because I imagine all of these young straight couples in J. Crew worsted wool sweaters throwing back their heads like Mrs. Howell, laughing at his weak but fashionable humor. Maybe they're in their Toyota Highlanders driving out to Restoration Hardware to look at the brushed steel knobs and the faux-Victorian gewgaws. Have you been to Oak Brook? They probably live there and have heated floor tiles and towel warmers in their bathroom. The women all look like cut-rate Carolyn Bessette-Kennedys (before the plane crash), and the men look like the guy getting married in The Hangover.

David Sedaris is an entry-level gay for these people, right? They're all liberal, sure, but out in Oak Brook their gay contacts are limited to the service industry. The housewares clerk at Lord & Taylor, the hairdresser, or that one swishy waiter at Maggiano's who's stingy with the bread basket. You know, the usual A-Team of tanned men with shaved forearms and hyperreal hairdos.

What I am saying is that David Sedaris is a nice accessory. Sure, your grandparents might find some of his humor off-color or distasteful, but in the age of Sarah Silverman he's almost quaint. Anal sex (and its intimations) take on a Bombeckian glow in his hands. And that kerrunk, kerrunk sound you hear is Jean Genet rolling over in his grave (and masturbating on a pile of his own feces).

There are currently twenty-one people on my friends list who have rated this book. Only two have assigned it fewer than three stars. Defend yourselves, bourgeois scum. I mean that affectionately. You probably thought Bob Saget was funny on America's Funniest Home Videos too, didn't you?

[Canadian Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sedaris is a quirky kind of writer. I needed a palate cleanser after the last few heavy reads and this one delivered. From a betrayal of the tongue (which required speech therapy), to a midget music teacher and some various comical moments in his life, his memoir had me chuckling out loud and talking about it to whomever was in the room.
But alas, a third of the way in, it read like a rant and I quickly became bored. What began as a breath of fresh air became stale but did give a final gasp at the end.
First two thirds razor sharp; last 3rd, kind of dull. For that I'm rating this 3.5***

[Carrie · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I were in someone else's bathroom and there were no other reading materials except for something by David Sedaris, I would pick it up and flip through it. I probably would even find myself slightly amused. But my basic opinion about David Sedaris - which is that he is boring, not very funny, mean and bitchy, and too lazy to write a novel - would remain unchanged.

Remember when people who had fucked up or interesting lives drew on their personal experiences to create artful, often symbolic stories that speak to some kind of greater human existence? Remember when people basically only wrote their autobiography after they had accomplished many other notable things in their life? At the very least, one would use the events of their life to address some important social issue.

Among others, we have David Sedaris to thank for ushering in the age of this crappy, voyeristic autobiography sub-genre that is basically the print version of reality tv. So somebody has a weird, dysfunctional family. So do most of us. It's really not that interesting.

The title of the book is pretty lame. Did you really talk like that, David? No, I don't think you did. I think you were just a middle-class gay kid who lisped, got sent to speech therapy for it, and then wanted to pretend that you were more marginalized than you actually were.

Also, his sister is way funnier than he is.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another collection of Sedaris tales as we have come to know and love. His cynical banter and humorous anecdotes shine again. While some might say the same old formula gets old, with Sedaris it is expected and greatly appreciated. (I even heard he changed the formula in a recent book and it was not well received)

I listened to the audio and love hearing the words from the mouth of the author. His delivery and timing are perfect - which I suppose is to be expected as they are his words, but not every author can read their words as well as they write. It is great how he can make every mundane activity an entertaining anecdote.

If you like a little humorous getaway, check out this and other Sedaris books.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

David Sedaris and friend

This loosely autobiographical memoir from humorist David Sedaris is divided into essays, many of which are laugh out loud funny. The topics include Sedaris's childhood rebellion against speech therapy, unwanted guitar lessons taught by a midget, drug fueled (and extended) college years, weird presentations as an untalented performance artist, amusing interactions with his family and friends, living in France with his boyfriend Hugh, and more. I listened to the audio version of the book, narrated by the author, and enjoyed it immensely.


Little David Sedaris with his sister Lisa and mother Sharon


School age David Sedaris with his sister Amy


College age David Sedaris

Sedaris's stories may stretch the truth on occasion, but they're very entertaining. For example:

As an art major in college, Sedaris took a pottery class: "With their thick clumsy bases my mugs weighed in at close to five pounds each. The color was muddy and the lips rough and uninviting." Sedaris's mother used these 'gifts' as pet bowls until "a cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike."

**********

After Sedaris graduated from The Art Instutute of Chicago in 1987 he was offered a job teaching a writing workshop. Having no idea how to prepare lesson plans, Sedaris divided the twice weekly, two-hour class into a series of discussion periods including: Celebrity Corner - during which pupils presented gossip about rock bands and movie stars; Feed Bag Forum - where students brought in one-pot recipes (Sedaris had a new crock pot); Pillow Talk - during which students could discuss their private sex lives - or failing that - watch the soap opera 'One Life to Live.'



The latter activity was turned into a real writing exercise when the pupils were asked to prepare a 'guessay' about what would happen on the TV show next day. To Sedaris's dismay the attendees came up with things like 'the long lost daughter turns out to be a vampire' or 'Vicky chokes to death on a submarine sandwich.'

Later on, when the students were required to submit their own stories Sedaris would type up evaluations like "punctuation never hurt anyone" or "think verbs".....so for the most part he and the students got along.

(I can relate to the bad teaching. I had a professor for a class in 'Insect Physiology' that only talked about baseball teams and deparmental gossip. He got canned pretty quickly. 😎)

**********

Sedaris doesn't enjoy eating in New York restaurants, partly because his artsy Soho neighborhood "isn't a macaroni salad kind of place" but rather an area where "the world's brightest young talents come to eat racks of corn fed songbirds." Even simple dishes are dressed up: "The meatloaf has been poached in seawater and there are figs in the tuna salad."


Songbirds

Sedaris notes, "I'd order the skirt steak with a medley of suffocated peaches but I'm put off by the aspirin sauce" and "The sea scallops look good until I'm told they're served in a broth of malt liquor and mummified lichee nuts." Moreover, "The food is always arranged into a senseless vertical tower; it now reaches for the sky, much like the high rise buildings lining our city streets. It's as if the plates were valuable parcels of land and the chef had purchased one small lot, along with unlimited air rights."


Onion rings in vertical tower

**********

Sedaris's friend Alicia from North Carolina came to visit him in New York and brought a friend named Bonnie. Bonnie didn't take to the city because "unfortunately, visiting Americans will find more warmth in Tehran than New York - a city founded on the principles 'us vs. them'." Sedaris observes, "I don't speak Latin but I always assumed the city motto translates into either 'go home' or 'we don't like you either'."

**********

Sedaris was born in 1956 and the computer revolution took him completely by surprise. He notes, "There were no computers in my high school and the first few times I attempted college people were still counting on their fingers and removing their shoes when the numbers got above ten." Sedaris writes, "I became aware of computers in the mid-1980s when my friends starting sending creepy Christmas newsletters designed to look like tabloids.....titled 'The Herald Family Tribune' and 'Whassup with the Wexlers.' To top it off, his acquaintances started to "send letters composed to look like Chinese takeout menus and the Dead Sea Scrolls."

Sedaris writes, "I refuse to have a computer. The harder I'm pressured to use a computer the harder I resist. One by one all my friends have deserted me and fled to the dark side. 'How can I write you if you don't have an email address?' they ask. They talk of their B-trees and disc doctors and then have the nerve to complain when I discuss bowel obstructions at the dinner table."




David Sedaris prefers typewriters to computers

**********

Sedaris's boyfriend Hugh had lived in France for a while, and the partners spent a few summers in Normandy before moving to Paris for several years. Talking about France, Sedaris observes, "My understanding was that no matter what we tried the French would never like us. And that's confusing for an American raised to believe that the people of other countries should be grateful for all the wonderful things we've done for them....."Things like movies that stereotype the people of Europe as bores and petty snobs.....and remarks like, "We saved your ass in World War II'."


David Sedaris lived in France for a while


David Sedaris and his boyfriend Hugh Hamrick


David Sedaris and Hugh Hamrick

**********

During Sedaris's first visit to Normandy, his French vocabulary was limited to words like 'ashtray', 'bottleneck', and the phrase 'see you again yesterday.' He made an effort to learn new phrases and "Went from talking like a baby to talking like a hillbilly." In a butcher shop Sedaris asked, "Is them the thoughts of cows?" - pointing to cow brains.....and requested "lambchops with handles."

**********

In Paris, Sedaris took a French class with other foreign residents. The class was daunting and the teacher was volatile. Sedaris writes, "My only comfort was knowing I was not alone. Huddled in hallways my fellow students and I engaged in conversations normally heard in refugee camps. For example, one student lamented, 'Sometime me cry alone at night' and another responded, 'That be common for I also, but be more strong you. Much work and someday you talk pretty.'





In the second month of French classes - during a lesson about holidays - a Muslim student from Morocco asked, 'What is an Easter?' The teacher asked the students to explain. A Polish girl started, 'It is a party for the little boy of God who call hisself Jesus and'......she faltered and her fellow countryman chimed in.....'He call hisself Jesus and he die one day on two morsels of lumber.' According to Sedaris, "The rest of the class jumped in with bits of information that would have given the Pope an aneurysm".....explanations like, "He die one day and then he go above of my head to live with your father'..... and 'He weared of himself the long hair and after he die the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples.'



********

To help expand his vocabulary, Sedaris's sister Amy sent him the audiobook of 'Pocket Medical French', designed for visiting doctors and nurses. From this gem Sedaris learned "conversational sparklers" like 'remove your dentures and all your jewelry'.....'you now need to deliver the afterbirth'.....and 'could I trouble you for a stool sample' (among others).


David's sister Amy is an actress, comedian, and writer



**********

Sedaris goes on to say, "I never thought much about how Americans were viewed overseas until I came to France and was expected to look and behave in a certain way. About his appearance, Sedaris says, "If I was thin it was because I'd recently lost the extra fifty pounds cushioning the standard American ass".....and "If I was pushy it was typical.....and if I wasn't it was probably due to Prozac."

**********

Talking about expenses in France, Sedaris says, "Shortly after moving into my Paris apartment, I noticed a leak in the bathroom and phoned the landlord to say, "The toilet, she cry much of the time." Bathroom repairs cost him $1000.00 for a job that would be $300.00 in the United States.



Thus, the author feared a doctor visit would be truly exorbitant. However, an office visit to a French dentist cost only $25.00, so Sedaris felt brave enough to go to an eye doctor. He explained to the optician, "From the time I had five years I have worn of myself some glasses".....and "Then when I had 20 years I said to myself, 'Enough of this. I am tired of something living all the time upon my nose'." Sedaris goes on to say, "I got a new pair of glasses and I'm still adjusting to all the subtle things I've been missing all these years, things like the expressions of disgust that typically cross people's faces when they discover that they're talking to an idiot."



**********

Sedaris also muses about food. He notes, "In a French market, in the section devoted to foreign foods, I came across a large can of peanut butter and it broke my heart. Peanut butter is not something you traditonally find in France and I could sense that someone had gone through a great deal of trouble to make this happen. The problem of course, was the can....the items that come in cans are generally the things that you use in one or two sittings, like cat food or baked beans. The French manufacturer obviously had the impression that homesick Americans just sit around with tablespoons and go through a pound of peanut butter in a single afternoon, shoveling it in until they pass out."



Sedaris also writes, "In France, I often leaf through cookbooks looking for vocabulary words that might come in handy. That's how I learned the verbs 'to simmer, to dice, and to set aside the beak'."



**********

And finally, Sidaris's friend lent him a book called "Imperial Dishes of China." The author observes, "As a working cookbook I felt like it left too many holes. When told to 'arrange the camel paw attractively' my first question was..... how ? Camel paws don't even look attractive on camels. On top of that, where are you supposed to buy these ingredients in the first place? if you can't locate a single camel paw can you use two dozen cat paws instead?"


Imperial food of China

**********

At the end of the book Sedaris talks about moving back into his parents basement when he was between colleges, using drugs, and unemployed. His father told him to leave, and Sedaris assumed it was for the above reasons. However, Sedaris's mother - breaking into sobs - apologetically explained that his father threw him out because he was gay. This made me feel a little sad.

**********

I'd recommend the book to Sedaris fans and anyone else who likes hilarious memoirs.


David Sedaris and friend

You can follow my reviews at http://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com/

[Gemma · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been my tube companion for the past fortnight. It is the perfect accompaniment to the London commute for two reasons:

1) The essays are perfectly formed, so you can be assured that you'll be able to finish 3 little chunks over 40 minutes or so. Once the train trundled into Westminster station I would know to quicken my pace so as to finish another section before alighting at Blackfriars and elbowing some bankers.

2) My tube line is the epitome of the British stiff upper lip. People's faces remain practically emotionless from Putney to Barking to Richmond and up to High Street Kensington. Of course, scrum tackles take place at each station as people push on during rush hour. But NO emotions pass across the face of a commuter. Apart from perhaps a slight grimace when the new arrival feels it necessary to share all the details of their skiing holiday with the entire carriage.

Anyway - to the point! With Sedaris in my hand I have been snorting, honking and smiling as never before seen on the District Line. The 50 something lady who settled into her seat at Wimbledon with the Daily Telegraph looks up nervously. The banker ignoring the opinion section of the FT for the far more fascinating Stocks and shares pages shifts nervously. And then I snort once more. Being in such a cheery mood, once a seat becomes available I offer it to the young lady in slightly uncomfortable looking high heels reading the bible (aka the Metro) thus leaving the assembled masses concerned that I may be clinically insane and yet on their train.

[Gypsy · Rating 3 out of 5]

ریویو رو دو بار نوشتم و پاک شد و منم خب لجباز بازم می نویسم. با پی سی دیگه ای دارم می تایپم و خعلی تحت فشارم. :دی خیلی خلاصه می گم. من آدمی ام که دنبال خندیدنم و این کتاب بهم ندادش راستشو بخواین. نه این که اصلاْ نخندم یا بگم لوس و خنک و مسخره بود. ولی اون قدرام خنده دار نبود. نهایت خندیدنم یه پوزخند دو ثانیه ای بود. البته این وسط چیزی هس که طنز رو حساس می کنه و اونم ظرافت های ادبی و زبانی و همچنین فرهنگی و ارزشی و عرفی هس. این جاس که مترجم به چالش کشیده میشه و همت و زحمت می طلبه و خلاقیتش سنجیده میشه. با این حال مترجم و نویسنده تقریباْ بی تقصیرن و بر می گرده به همون جریان ظرافت ها و اینا. اما دلیل سه دادنم هدف طنز بود. ینی نقد. نقد اجتماعی و اخلاقی و فرهنگی نویسنده که خاطراتشو به شدت صادقانه و خالصانه بیان می کرد و باعث شد من دیدم به خودم و زندگیم عوض شه. ینی کم تر به خودم سخت بگیرم و این قد غرغرو نباشم و بدخلقی نکنم. فک کنم همین برای یه نویسنده کافی باشه. مگه چه انتظاری از مخاطبش داره جز تاثیر گذاری و به فکر فرو بردنش؟

[Adina ( back from Vacay…slowly recovering) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since the Coronavirus pandemic was declared, I started to watch more stand-up comedy and follow The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (from his home). I felt like I needed a laugh between my constant watching of the Coronavirus cases count and the news reports about the same enemy. I wanted to read David Sedaris for the same reason, to lighten my days a bit. I enjoyed listening to his narration of this essay collection but I can't say I was entertained. I laughed maybe once or twice and for the rest I was either sorry for him, or partially indifferent to the story. The first essay about his Speech Therapy was the best and after that I began to lose interest. I have to admit that I did not sympathise with his need to get high in order to achieve his artistic goals, I was thinking "you're shit at art, just get over it and find a job that suits you." Some essays resuscitated my interest but then I was bored again while listening to others.

[Fabian · Rating 2 out of 5]

A reviewer was correct when he said: "Sedaris can turn a rant into a thing of beauty." (Michael Upchurch-Seattle Times) But only correct about the noun/verb "rant." That he does in profusion; all these "essays" are rants about his life & times. But "Thing of beauty?" Absolutely not.

For a popular writer, Mr. Sedaris maintains that he is more important than anything else, anybody else, any other subject. He only looks at himself in situations and tells us his witty reactions/musings. Funny, a little, but it's actually like talking to someone adamant about taking nothing too seriously while displaying extreme sarcasm. I could not relate to a single thing this dude wrote about!

About his trips to France (just check this out): "There are plenty of places on Earth where Americans are greeted with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, these places tend to lack anything you'd really want to buy. & that, to me, is the only reason to leave home in the first place--to buy things."

Aggh! This All-American mentality: GROSS.

[Calista · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this period, right around 2000, a little before and after, is David's best writing era. He seems to be at this best and most funny I think.

I love this collection. He has a multitude of stories about living in France with Hue. I love the peak into his experience of France or even NYC for that matter. His family plays a huge role in his stories as usual. I do wonder if he and Hue are still together. I would guess not, simply because he is famous and famous people rarely stick together.

He also has a funny story about being a writing teacher. I often wonder what real life would be like for him and how much is exaggerated for his writing or altered to create something funny. I know life is really weird and people strange, so there is probably a lot that happens to him, that is just like he says.

This collection had me laughing robustly. I thoroughly enjoyed this collection and I think it is my favorite outside of SantaLand diaries which can't be beat; so far. This tickled my funny bone, so I'm very happy. David is a nice relief from the stress of school right now. I will continue to read more of his stuff.

[Bob · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yes. I realize this book is supposed to be hilarious. Yes. I realize I'm not a hip gen-x'er if I don't happen to think it is. Yet...

I feel like Sedaris accurately summed up his entire approach to writing on page 44: "True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible." He meant this as satire, I'm sure...but what I found truly halarious was that he didn't even realize that he just described the book I was currently reading.

Upon describing his life, Sedaris wants you to think it's funny. In reality, it's just despair...and he wants you to go down the tubes with him.

I decided that reading this book was like sitting in a small space with someone who drones on and on about how horrible their life is. Normally in that situation you can get up and leave or tell them to shut up. In this case, all I could do was stop reading. So, out of respect for the friend that recommended it, I read exactly half (stopping midsentence)...then I told the author to shut up and dumped him in the library drop box.

The only funny part of this book was the brief chapter on poop. But even southpark can make that funny. Sedaris is supposed to be funny...I guess I'm un-hip and not a real Gen-x'er...because I find him miserable. He's pushed me back to reading and loving the classics one more time.

[kian · Rating 5 out of 5]

با ترجمه پيمان خاكسار.


هرگز به عمرم نديدم پدرم جز از قفسه‌هايي كه بالايشان نوشته: حراج به دليل نزديكي تاريخ انقضا، چيزي بردارد. تمام اقلام قفسه‌هاي ديگر براي او نامرئي بودند.
به خاطر چيزي كه مادرم «يه جو شخصيت» مي‌ناميد، من و خواهرانم به ندرت وارد اتاق پشتي مي‌شديم. بهتر بود فاصله‌مان را حفظ كنيم و خودمان را بچه‌هاي آدم ديگري جا بزنيم.
بالاخره پدرمان برمي‌گشت با دستهايي پر از ميوه‌هاي متلاشي كه هيچ شباهتي به ميوه نداشتند...
پيام عملش اين بود: اگر چيزي مجاني است، بهترينش را سوا كن! و...
سداريس، كتاب را به پدرش «لو سداريس» تقديم كرده. كسي كه در سراسر كتابهايش، از او با جزئيات تمام حرف مي‌زند و تو را به خنده مي‌اندازد..
سداريس در طنزش، شديدا صادق است و همين باعث مي‌شود طنزش، تصنعي نباشد..
درمجموع، بين كتابهايي كه اين مدت ازش خوندم، اين به نظرم بهتر از همه بود. البته، «مادربزرگتو از اين جا ببر» هم خوب بود.

[Glenn Sumi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly, this is the first Sedaris book I've read, and it more than lives up to the hype.

Calling him a humourist doesn't do him justice. Sure, he's read-aloud-to-your-friends funny, but he's also a shrewd social satirist and very, very smart, able to evoke the pain of childhood speech therapy classes, the humiliation of learning French as an adult, or the mortification of finding a huge turd in a friend's toilet (this latter story, by the way, is only in the abridged audio version of the book - I both listened to and read the complete book).

A couple of essays seem like filler, but the best – about learning jazz guitar from a little person, or being a drug-addled performance artist, or witnessing a down-home rube’s experience of Manhattan – are vivid, fresh and so casual-sounding you know they took a lot of effort.

Sedaris is so brilliant he even makes that overcooked routine – ordering food in a trendy, intimidating New York restaurant – into something genuinely funny.

And there's an emotional core to many of these essays too – particularly in ones involving his father, Lou, to whom the book is dedicated.

I recommend listening to the author himself read from the audiobook – his unmistakable, somewhat babyish voice adds layers to the text – and then picking up the book later, as I did, to savour the craft.

I can’t wait to read more of his books.

** UPDATE APRIL 2015: I did read another Sedaris book, the early volume Barrel Fever, but wasn't as impressed **

[Ms. Smartarse · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like funny stuff a lot. So much so, that I'm always on the lookout for a good quote to use as a timely comeback. I say this fully aware, that I will most probably end up misquoting it, and thus ruin the whole thing. But the principle of the thing stands: I read something hilarious, that might have related to this thing...probably.

Me Talk Pretty One Day is one of those books that sounded awfully preachy, based on its title alone. But then I stumbled on a totally hilarious audio excerpt, which all but blew my mind. Finally someone with the same questionable humour, that I had!



And boy did it start promising! A speech therapist compared to an evil secret service agent, intent on torturing our brave hero. And since no calamity comes alone, of course our mighty protagonist's teacher had to join in as well.

If I got up from my seat at 2:25, she'd say, "Sit back down, David. You've still got 5 minutes before your speech therapy session." If I remained seated until 2:27, she'd say, "David, don't forget you have a speech therapy session at 2:30." On the days I was absent, I imagined she addressed the room, saying, "David's not here today but if he were, he'd have a speech therapy session at 2:30."

Needless to say, that with two such heinous villains I was earnestly rooting for our intrepid hero to come up with creative ways to outsmart them. Making his weapon of choice a thesaurus, all but propelled him to the height of coolness.

After a few weeks of what she called “endless pestering” and what I called “repeated badgering”, my mother bought me a pocket thesaurus, which provided me with s-free alternatives to just about everything. I consulted the book both at home in my room and at the daily learning academy other people called our school. Agent Samson was not amused when I began referring to her as an articulation coach, but the majority of my teachers were delighted. “What a nice vocabulary,” they said. “My goodness, such big words!”

But after the end of the first chapter, my enthusiasm started to slowly but surely vane. For the most part, things tended to put me to sleep. This once again proves that no matter how humorously you paint your life, I just can't seem to muster up enough interest in it. Yes, I'm that horrible.

Jazz for instance, is one of those things that I just don't get. Every so often I try to listen to it for a few minutes, only to find my mind rebelling against its irregular rhythm, lack of chorus, and predictability in general.

Having had most of my artistic tendencies replaced with science-y pursuits early on, I can't say I relish the prospect of getting high in order to preen about my crappy drawings. Plus with my penchant for stressing over the weirdest crap, my experience would probably end up being totally dismal. Heck, I could feel my stress levels rising just reading about the author's irresponsible drug use.



Admittedly, my mood improved seriously when I got to the chapters relating to our protagonist's experiences in language school. Those stories, were pure gold, and they (partially) mirror my own language goals:

Though I have yet to use any of my new commands and questions, I find that, in learning them, I am finally able to imagine myself Walkman-free and plunging headfirst into an active and rewarding social life. That’s me at the glittering party, refilling my champagne glass and turning to ask my host if he’s noticed any unusual discharge. “We need to start an IV,” I’ll say to the countess while boarding her yacht. “But first could I trouble you for a stool sample?”

Note to self: insert creepy medical jargon into everyday conversation. Naturally.

Score: 3.3 /5 stars

I feel like if I ever need the perfect comeback, this book will provide it... if only I'll be patient enough to continue looking for it. Otherwise, thank you GoodReads for the quotes collection, because I'm so not rereading this anytime soon. The last 10% of the book took me 3 days to wade through, making me literally fall asleep 2 phrases in...

[Fereshteh · Rating 5 out of 5]

طنز جالبی که بی مزه نباشه ژانریه که تو محصولات فرهنگی داخلی کمتر بهش برخورد کردم و کمبودش رو همیشه حس میکنم و به ناچار برای تجربه ش سراغ سریالها و فیلم ها و کتابهای عمدتا امریکایی رفتم..ژانری که بخش زیادیش با مسائل فرهنگی همون جا آمیخته شده

شاید برای من قسمت زیادی از لذت کتاب،ناشی از خوندن متن اصلی بود ولی باز هم میخوام اینجا از آقای خاکسار بابت ترجمه ی کارهای سداریس تشکر کنم.فکر میکنم به قسمت عظیمی از اهدافشون که اشنا کردن مخاطب ایرانی با نویسندگان کمتر شناخته شده ولی خوب بود،رسیدند
متن اصلی شامل 28 داستان بود ولی اینطور که شنیدم نسخه ی فارسی 26 تا داستان داره

کتاب حاضر به دو بخش تقسیم شده
بخش اول خاطرات شخصی و خانوادگی نویسنده بود که احساس میکنم علاوه بر طنز با چاشنی خیال هم مخلوط شدند.ایده و فکر پشت داستان ها رو دوست داشتم و حتی صرفنظر از تفاوت های فرهنگی با بعضی هاشون خیلی احساس نزدیکی کردم:این که چه طور والدین برای اینده ی بچه هاشون نقشه میکشند،چه طور با گذر زمان روش تربیتی اعمالیشون روی بچه هاتا به بچه اخر برسه ملایم و لطیف و منعطف میشه،توصیف روند سریع ولی غیرقابل پیش بینی پیشرفت استفاده از کامپیوتر و اینترنت تو همه کارهای روزمره

داستان تجربه ی تدریس تو کارگاه داستان نویسی،انتقاد از رستورانهای شیک و باکلاس، نگهداری از حیوانات اهلی و قضیه معتاد و هنرمند شدنش هم فوق العاده خنده دار بود

بخش دوم هم اختصاص داره به سفر نویسنده به فرانسه برای اقامت همراه دوست پسرش و سختی هایی که در مسیر یادگیری زبان سخت و پیچیده ای مثل فرانسوی متحمل میشه
تو این فصل به شدت با مرارت های یادگیری این زبان با سداریس همدردی میکردم...توصیف دو توریست امریکایی تو مترو که دیوید رو با یه جیب بر فرانسوی اشتباه گرفته بودند هم به عنوان مثالی از حماقت امریکایی شاهکار در اومده بود

کتاب برخلاف اسمش که داستان زندگی غمناک پسربچه ای لال رو به ذهن میاره نیست و ساعاتی سراسرلبخند،خنده و گاها قهقهه رو براتون به دنبال داره

سداریس،نویسنده ی عزیزی که بی زحمت شما رو می خندونه
:-)

[Parastoo Ashtian · Rating 3 out of 5]

هیچ‌وقت مدافع سرسخت فرانسوی‌ها نبوده‌ام ولی واقعا باید به ملتی که تحت هیچ شرایطی موقع فیلم تماشا کردن حرف نمی‌زنند احترام گذاشت. من این‌جا کنار گروهی بچه مدرسه‌ای که به دیدن یک فیلم مزخرف بزن‌بکش آمده‌اند نشسته‌ام و حتی یک نفر لب از لب باز نکرده. آخرین باری که در یک سینمای آمریکایی سکوت را تجربه کردم یادم نیست. فکر کنم تماشاگران ما تمام روز حرف نمی زنند و تمام حرف‌هایشان را می‌گذارند برای وقتی که فیلم شروع می‌شود. یک بار در یک سینمای معمولی نیویورک زدم روی شانه‌ی مردی که جلوم نشسته بود و نقدش را قطع کردم و ازش پرسیدم که آیا می‌خواهد کل فیلم را حرف بزند؟ گفت: خب آره. چه طور مگه؟ بدوت این که در لحنش نشانی از شرمندگی یا عذرخواهی باشد. انگار که ازش پرسیده بودم قصد دارد خونش گردش داشته باشد یا هوا را به داخل ریه‌هایش بفرستد. ولم کن بابا چرا نباید حرف بزنم؟ از پشت سر جناب منتقد بلند شدم و کنار پیشگویی نشستم که با صدای بلند سرنوشت تک تک شخصیت‌های فیلم را می‌گفت، شخصیت‌هایی که روی پرده لب‌شان تکان می‌خورد. بعد هم یک زوج پیر آمدند که دائم فکر می‌کردند چیزی را از دست داده‌اند. هر بار غریبه‌ای که تا آن لحظه در فیلم دیده نشده بود در خانه‌ی کسی را می‌زد می‌پرسیدند: این کیه؟ می‌خواستم بهشان اطمینان بدهم که به موقع جواب سؤالاتشان را خواهند گرفت ولی چون اعتقاد دارم نباید سر فیلم حرف زد دوباره جا عوض کردم به این امید که وسط دو نفر بنشینم که یا خواب‌شان برده باشد یا مرده باشند.

از متن کتاب

[Maede · Rating 2 out of 5]

دیوید سداریس، نویسنده و طنزپرداز معروف آمریکایی در این کتاب از تجربه‌ی بزرگ شدن در شهری‌ کوچک، زندگی در نیویورک و شیکاگو، همجنسگرایی، کالج، استفاده از مواد و زندگیش در فرانسه می‌نویسه. برای من داستان‌ها کاملاً معمولی بودند. با اینکه متوجه طنز ظریفش می‌شدم، روی من تقریباً هیچ اثری نداشت. فقط وقتی از شدت خسته شدن از کتاب سراغ ورژن صوتی با صدای خودش رفتم، اجراهای سداریس جلوی حضار از چند داستانی که همشون توی کتاب هم نیستن برام جالب بودن و ستاره دوم هم فقط به خاطر همینه

خلاصه به شدت توصیه می‌کنم اگر در مورد این کتاب کنجکاوید سراغ کتاب صوتیش برید. نکته‌ای که راجع به طنز هست اینه که خیلی سلیقه‌ایه و سداریس ممکنه به ذائقه‌ی شما خوش بیاد ولی برای من طنزش خشک و آبکی بود

M's Books :کتاب و صوتیش

۱۴۰۰/۹/۱۸

[Ginger · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars from me!

My real life book club choose this for our January book read. I'm glad they did because this was a funny and quirky book to read. I enjoyed all the stories of his family, his time in Paris, living in NYC and also trying to learn how to speak French.

David Sedaris has a unique and funny way of looking at situations and I loved it! I will definitely read more books of his in the future.

Recommended for people who like to laugh, who like witty dialogue and who do not get offended by how ridiculous Americans can be. You know who you are! Stay away from this book. 🤣

[Maziar MHK · Rating 1 out of 5]

گرچه این کتاب در دایره یِ وسیع "طنز" نوشته شده و البته پرفروشِ بازار نشرِ مکتوباتِ انگلیسی زبان هایِ آمریکایی است اما برای خواننده یِ ایرانی ای که سال های ِ سال در دهه هفتاد و هشتاد میلادی در آمریکا نَزیسته و تجربه یِ یک آمریکائی یونانی تبار، مدتی مقیمِ فرانسه نبوده، اصلا و ابدا خنده دار و مفرح نیست، شک نکنید

[Jess the Shelf-Declared Bibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first David Sedaris book, and I was not disappointed. Each essay was clever and funny in its own way, and I enjoyed hearing about his life, especially his time in France. I will definitely pick up more books by him when I come across them.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me Talk Pretty One Day is an older volume of David Sedaris’ comic pieces. But just like his more recent work, I found it to be inconsistent. I got a special kick out of The Youth Is Asia, which discusses his parents’ different pets. As an empty nester with my own spoiled four legged child, I totally got it. In fact, the segments about his parents were some of the funniest ones. I also loved the sections on his attempts to learn the French language. But other sections, such as the one on his time as a creative writing instructor, I thought fell totally flat. I would have been like the older student who felt the class was a total waste.
And a little of him goes a long way. Not just sarcastic, he frequently veers into bitter and nasty. The book works best when you listen to just an essay or two and then take a break.
I listened to this and David narrates his own book. It worked especially well on the first essay about his lisp and the speech therapist trying to eliminate it. In short, she failed.

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came into this book expecting the voice of a pretentious, self-indulgent white male, and I finished this book smirking along with this funny, pretentious, and self-indulgent white male. I cannot judge David Sedaris as I do not know his true personality, but he portrays a quirky character in these essays. He reflects on concepts such as speech and family, and several of his pieces draw inspiration from his experience as an American living in France. While some of Sedaris's creative nonfiction - emphasis on the "fiction," according to several sources - veers into hollow and pompous territories, I still found myself chuckling as he detailed his struggle with his speech therapist and his thoughts on crossword puzzles.

My favorite essays include "Go Carolina," "21 Down," and "Picka Pocketoni," entertaining anecdotes in which Sedaris takes himself down a peg or two. I would recommend this collection if you enjoy snark and can stomach some pretentiousness along with your rants and your humor.

[Whitney Atkinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read by Sedaris, but I will certainly be picking up more in the future! He writes witty essays about his life, this collection specifically focusing on a period when he moved to Paris and was learning French, with other stories sprinkled in. His writing was funny without trying to be too edgy, punny, or forced. The audiobook is narrated by him, and there's even certain parts of it that are recordings of live readings. I really enjoyed this because you got to hear his delivery of the story, as well as how he interacts with an audience. My only gripe is that the audiobook weirdly omitted some stories that were in my physical copy of the book. Still, all of these were easy and fun to read, not requiring too much brain power, but still offering a good message.

[Esil · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 high star!

Oh, David Sedaris, I had to force myself not move right on to another of your audiobooks. I listened to Calypso a while ago, and I loved it - funny, smart and real. Me Talk Pretty One Day is an older book, and gives me a glimpse at a younger Sedaris, but the humour and view onto himself, his family and the world are recognizable. There are some great stories about teaching a writing class and learning to speak French that I especially loved. Exercising self restraint will give me a chance to savour the books I have not yet listened to. And I suspect there may be a risk of too much a good thing ruining the effect if I listen to them all at once. But once I get through this bleak audio history of The Troubles in Ireland, I’m going right back to Sedaris...

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

"You could turn up your nose at the president or Coke or even God, but there were names for boys who didn't like sports."

"Lisa had been born with a lazy leg that had refused to grow at the same rate as it's twin. I liked the idea that a part of one's body might be thought of as lazy--not thoughtless or hostile, just unwilling to extend itself for the betterment of the team."

"She was what we called Tanorexic."

"My father is the type who once recited a bawdy limerick: "A woman I know who's quite blunt/Had a beartrap installed in her... oh, you know. It's a base, vernacular word for the vagina." He can absolutely kill a joke."

"If she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed."

"I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again. It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters."

"My first goal was to make him my boyfriend, to trick or blackmail him into making some sort of commitment. I know it sounds calculating, but if you're not cute, you might as well be clever."

"Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by eighty inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans of their own, none of which are "We're number two!""

"Wearing a walkman is like being deaf with none of the disadvantages."

"In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven, mainly because I'm too lazy to do anything else. Fortunately, going to the movies seems to suddenly qualify as an intellectual accomplishment, on par with reading a book or devoting time to serious thought. It's not that the movies have gotten any more strenuous, it's just that a lot of people are as lazy as I am, and together we've agreed to lower the bar."