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Dearest Friend: A Life of Abigail Adams
This is the life of Abigail Adams, wife of patriot John Adams, who became the most influential woman in Revolutionary America. Rich with excerpts from her personal letters, Dearest Friend captures the public and private sides of this fascinating woman, who was both an advocate of slave emancipation and a burgeoning feminist, urging her husband to "Remember the Ladies" as he framed the laws of their new country.
John and Abigail Adams married for love. While John traveled in America and abroad to help forge a new nation, Abigail remained at home, raising four children, managing their estate, and writing letters to her beloved husband. Chronicling their remarkable fifty-four-year marriage, her blossoming feminism, her battles with loneliness, and her friendships with Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, Dearest Friend paints a portrait of Abigail Adams as an intelligent, resourceful, and outspoken woman.
392 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1981
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July 11, 2017
Historian Lynne Withey labors, for the most part successfully, in bridging the gap of time and experiences that any reader encounters with a biography. Here, the time gap is one of over two centuries. Our attitudes toward feminism, economics, government, and diversity have changed dramatically from the viewpoints of colonial America. Withey has sifted through the voluminous correspondence of the Adams family to show how Abigail was shaped by the unique experiences of her time and place.
Her family background was one of rural quasi-gentry. Her father, William Smith, was a congenial minister in the rural backwater of Weymouth. Extended families were the rule since both opportunity and motive to move outside the area were lacking. Everyone farmed, either full or part-time. Her mother, Elizabeth Quincy, was from one of Braintree's most prominent families, but was an industrious household manager who passed on those skills to her daughters.
As might be expected, such a background primed Abigail for a socially conservative outlook. Despite a passionate belief in the necessity of independence from England, it was a belief built on convictions of moral virtue. English infringement on American rights was the consequence of the concentration of power. “'Power corrupts' was their [18th century critics of the British government] most persistent message. Unchecked power in the hands of a small group of individuals would inevitably bring disaster, and popular rights and liberties would be sacrificed. Unfortunately, highly placed officials showed a natural tendency to try to assume more and more power. Only the eternal vigilance of a virtuous people could prevent such an accumulation of power.” (p.47) Withey goes on to summarize Abigail's views: “The problem of establishing and maintaining a good government was complicated by people's tendency to cling to old customs and their inability to agree on anything.” (p.72)
Fortunately, Abigail was able to reconcile these beliefs about power and moral virtue. After the independence had been achieved, she encouraged her husband's political career, confident in his moral virtue. Her constant theme during his political career was that John was foregoing opportunities to stabilize his own economic affairs by accepting positions in public service. A constant reaction to criticism was that people were ungrateful for her family's many sacrifices.
From the news she gathered from abroad, and her own stay in France and England, she understood that these nations sought to control America as part of their own international designs. Despite France's assistance during the war, she had a poor opinion of French “moral virtue.” The real threat to America was the challenge of establishing a stable centralized government. By the end of Jefferson's presidency and with her expanding family of grandchildren, her views softened and she even began to repair some friendships which had been breached by political differences.
It was perhaps natural that she was appalled by Shay's Rebellion. She grew up in a town where there was little economic stratification. The gap between wealthy and poor was extremely small. She spent the duration of the war in Braintree, insulated from most of the actual fighting which veered to the south after Burgoyne's defeat at Saratoga. Although she complained about the privations resulting from trade embargoes, she never encountered the economic depression, inflation and foreclosures that plagued the country in the 1780's. During the Rebellion she was residing with John in England. The distance, her direct contact with the merchants who were creditors in England, and her own view that the plight of debtors was the consequence of greed and excess led her to condemn the rebellion and also led to a rift in her friendship with Thomas Jefferson, who upheld the right to criticize the government. Since she had no doubts about Jefferson's moral virtue, she attributed his sentiments to “delusions.”
Her social conservatism was a rational fit for a time when the success of the American state was still tenuous. “She believed that society was inevitably hierarchical and that distinctions of social classes were essential to order and stability — even though she objected to the rigidity of those distinctions in European countries. A 'levelling principal' she believed, was 'very unfavorable to the existence of civil liberty.' She thought that only men of property and talent should hold position in government and that once elected, they should be allowed to rule with a minimum of popular interference.” (p.191)
Withey uses the term “depressed” to describe Abigail during much of the time that John was absent. His absence underscores the problems of transportation during the period. Ships frequently encountered long delays, both at sea and at ports. John vetoed several times the idea that Abigail might join him abroad. However, the evidence reflects more a state of loneliness than depression. Separation from her children, and the difficulty of visiting relatives and friends even in the Boston area, were a large part of her life. There is also little mention of an attempt to expand this constricted circle of friendship formed primarily in the early years of her life. Nevertheless, I believe these separations gave her the confidence and strength she is admired for today.
She apparently excelled at business and management. She continued to make land purchases in John's absence. She bargained directly with merchants and ran an import business on the side that provided extra revenue. She hired tenants and supervised the household without interference. She oversaw numerous moves without John's assistance. At the same time, she applied her interest in politics by becoming an adept publicist for her husband's views and through the observations she conveyed in her correspondence. She also voiced an astute observation about the conflicting interests of the slave-holders and the rest of the country. Withey argues that Abigail had a “brilliant mind” but it was her powers of observation and the deep thought she gave to the meaning of those observations rather than any sort of intellectual brilliance that are evident in these pages.
Although opinionated, and even prejudiced, she demonstrated integrity in her actions. When neighbors objected to the attendance of an indentured black tenant of hers at an evening hours trade school, she confronted them directly. She pointed out their hypocrisy as well as their logical fallacies. Confronted with her objections, her neighbors backed down.
Consistent with her own beliefs about special prerogatives, she refused to inconvenience a family named Snowden, whom she did not know but who were recommended by family friends in Philadelphia. She was traveling as first lady with a sizeable party of family and servants, and they encountered bad weather and delays. It was only after Major Snowden caught up to the party on horseback and insisted, that she acquiesced to his arguments and took shelter in his home for the night.
Withey embraces the contradictions in Abigail Adams. Her book is an acknowledgement of human complexity. Withey expresses the contradictions of a life of intellectual restlessness confined to a supportive role; a life conditioned by a provincial economy. We do not develop empathy with Abigail, but we do come to admire her. Withey states: “Abigail Adams was, in many ways, a prisoner of the times in which she lived, and her views on women's role in society and on politics reflect that fact.” (p.xiii)
I knew nothing about Abigail Adams before reading this book. It provided insight and provoked questions about the attitudes and arguments that dominated the thinking of that period. Leaving more questions than answers is the strength of this highly readable book. I thank my husband, who gave me this book as part of my birthday present, for bringing this book to my attention.
Her family background was one of rural quasi-gentry. Her father, William Smith, was a congenial minister in the rural backwater of Weymouth. Extended families were the rule since both opportunity and motive to move outside the area were lacking. Everyone farmed, either full or part-time. Her mother, Elizabeth Quincy, was from one of Braintree's most prominent families, but was an industrious household manager who passed on those skills to her daughters.
As might be expected, such a background primed Abigail for a socially conservative outlook. Despite a passionate belief in the necessity of independence from England, it was a belief built on convictions of moral virtue. English infringement on American rights was the consequence of the concentration of power. “'Power corrupts' was their [18th century critics of the British government] most persistent message. Unchecked power in the hands of a small group of individuals would inevitably bring disaster, and popular rights and liberties would be sacrificed. Unfortunately, highly placed officials showed a natural tendency to try to assume more and more power. Only the eternal vigilance of a virtuous people could prevent such an accumulation of power.” (p.47) Withey goes on to summarize Abigail's views: “The problem of establishing and maintaining a good government was complicated by people's tendency to cling to old customs and their inability to agree on anything.” (p.72)
Fortunately, Abigail was able to reconcile these beliefs about power and moral virtue. After the independence had been achieved, she encouraged her husband's political career, confident in his moral virtue. Her constant theme during his political career was that John was foregoing opportunities to stabilize his own economic affairs by accepting positions in public service. A constant reaction to criticism was that people were ungrateful for her family's many sacrifices.
From the news she gathered from abroad, and her own stay in France and England, she understood that these nations sought to control America as part of their own international designs. Despite France's assistance during the war, she had a poor opinion of French “moral virtue.” The real threat to America was the challenge of establishing a stable centralized government. By the end of Jefferson's presidency and with her expanding family of grandchildren, her views softened and she even began to repair some friendships which had been breached by political differences.
It was perhaps natural that she was appalled by Shay's Rebellion. She grew up in a town where there was little economic stratification. The gap between wealthy and poor was extremely small. She spent the duration of the war in Braintree, insulated from most of the actual fighting which veered to the south after Burgoyne's defeat at Saratoga. Although she complained about the privations resulting from trade embargoes, she never encountered the economic depression, inflation and foreclosures that plagued the country in the 1780's. During the Rebellion she was residing with John in England. The distance, her direct contact with the merchants who were creditors in England, and her own view that the plight of debtors was the consequence of greed and excess led her to condemn the rebellion and also led to a rift in her friendship with Thomas Jefferson, who upheld the right to criticize the government. Since she had no doubts about Jefferson's moral virtue, she attributed his sentiments to “delusions.”
Her social conservatism was a rational fit for a time when the success of the American state was still tenuous. “She believed that society was inevitably hierarchical and that distinctions of social classes were essential to order and stability — even though she objected to the rigidity of those distinctions in European countries. A 'levelling principal' she believed, was 'very unfavorable to the existence of civil liberty.' She thought that only men of property and talent should hold position in government and that once elected, they should be allowed to rule with a minimum of popular interference.” (p.191)
Withey uses the term “depressed” to describe Abigail during much of the time that John was absent. His absence underscores the problems of transportation during the period. Ships frequently encountered long delays, both at sea and at ports. John vetoed several times the idea that Abigail might join him abroad. However, the evidence reflects more a state of loneliness than depression. Separation from her children, and the difficulty of visiting relatives and friends even in the Boston area, were a large part of her life. There is also little mention of an attempt to expand this constricted circle of friendship formed primarily in the early years of her life. Nevertheless, I believe these separations gave her the confidence and strength she is admired for today.
She apparently excelled at business and management. She continued to make land purchases in John's absence. She bargained directly with merchants and ran an import business on the side that provided extra revenue. She hired tenants and supervised the household without interference. She oversaw numerous moves without John's assistance. At the same time, she applied her interest in politics by becoming an adept publicist for her husband's views and through the observations she conveyed in her correspondence. She also voiced an astute observation about the conflicting interests of the slave-holders and the rest of the country. Withey argues that Abigail had a “brilliant mind” but it was her powers of observation and the deep thought she gave to the meaning of those observations rather than any sort of intellectual brilliance that are evident in these pages.
Although opinionated, and even prejudiced, she demonstrated integrity in her actions. When neighbors objected to the attendance of an indentured black tenant of hers at an evening hours trade school, she confronted them directly. She pointed out their hypocrisy as well as their logical fallacies. Confronted with her objections, her neighbors backed down.
Consistent with her own beliefs about special prerogatives, she refused to inconvenience a family named Snowden, whom she did not know but who were recommended by family friends in Philadelphia. She was traveling as first lady with a sizeable party of family and servants, and they encountered bad weather and delays. It was only after Major Snowden caught up to the party on horseback and insisted, that she acquiesced to his arguments and took shelter in his home for the night.
Withey embraces the contradictions in Abigail Adams. Her book is an acknowledgement of human complexity. Withey expresses the contradictions of a life of intellectual restlessness confined to a supportive role; a life conditioned by a provincial economy. We do not develop empathy with Abigail, but we do come to admire her. Withey states: “Abigail Adams was, in many ways, a prisoner of the times in which she lived, and her views on women's role in society and on politics reflect that fact.” (p.xiii)
I knew nothing about Abigail Adams before reading this book. It provided insight and provoked questions about the attitudes and arguments that dominated the thinking of that period. Leaving more questions than answers is the strength of this highly readable book. I thank my husband, who gave me this book as part of my birthday present, for bringing this book to my attention.
September 21, 2008
Although I hate to sound like a literary snob, and would never have the patience and fortitude to write a book (let alone a non-fiction piece requiring years of research), I felt as if Lynne Withey’s writing style was repetitive and juvenile. The repeated rehashing of her points was tiring. I don’t think she could have mentioned more frequently that 1) Abigail Adams lived vicariously through her husband’s political life, 2) our heroine was willing to sacrifice her own happiness out of a sense of patriotic duty and 3) that Abigail’s belief in the education of women was contradicted by her traditional view that a woman’s place was in the home (to the exclusion of all else). If she had said these points one more time, I would have strangled myself with my corset strings.
I wonder if I imply the death of feminism when I say that, although Abigail Adams was quite possibly one of the most interesting women of her time, she was still frightfully boring. Pop out some kids, run a farm, write some letters...hardly the stuff of history. The redeeming quality of this work was when it focused on John Adams, who helped forge a new nation and traveled across the world at perilous times to stand up for freedom and democracy. Sure, it was important that he had someone back home to raise his future-president son, and his wife was one of his closest confidantes and advisors during his political career, but she lived so fully in his shadow that a biography of her is mainly a watered-down biography of him.
I do not often read biographies (or any non-fiction, for that matter), so I cannot be certain that I am being harsh when it comes to the writing style. Certainly Shakespeare would have been less flowery and fluid if he had been recounting the Battle of Hastings rather than the epic love of Romeo and Juliet. Perhaps the stricture of having to stick to the facts requires a different sort of writer than those with whom I am familiar. I feel like a quick timeline and a few bullet points would have been a sufficient way to learn about this second First Lady. She’s no Martha Washington, is all I’m saying.
I wonder if I imply the death of feminism when I say that, although Abigail Adams was quite possibly one of the most interesting women of her time, she was still frightfully boring. Pop out some kids, run a farm, write some letters...hardly the stuff of history. The redeeming quality of this work was when it focused on John Adams, who helped forge a new nation and traveled across the world at perilous times to stand up for freedom and democracy. Sure, it was important that he had someone back home to raise his future-president son, and his wife was one of his closest confidantes and advisors during his political career, but she lived so fully in his shadow that a biography of her is mainly a watered-down biography of him.
I do not often read biographies (or any non-fiction, for that matter), so I cannot be certain that I am being harsh when it comes to the writing style. Certainly Shakespeare would have been less flowery and fluid if he had been recounting the Battle of Hastings rather than the epic love of Romeo and Juliet. Perhaps the stricture of having to stick to the facts requires a different sort of writer than those with whom I am familiar. I feel like a quick timeline and a few bullet points would have been a sufficient way to learn about this second First Lady. She’s no Martha Washington, is all I’m saying.
April 28, 2013
This book was amazing! I've become convinced that reading a good biography is going to be my preferred way to learn history. And as a wife and mother, I loved getting the female perspective on the events of her day. It also helped my enjoyment of the book that Abigail Adams and I share many of the same values: family, religion, hard work, frugality. I'm also a woman that likes to be "in the know" about the issues of my day. And I'm prone to extreme opinions and a tendency to be in my children's business.
I like that Whithey shows Abigail's weaknesses as well as numerous strengths. Withey also shows Abigal's contradictions without glossing them over or trying to remake her to better fit modern molds. For example, Abigail was a huge advocate of education for women yet she felt a woman's place was in the home.
In fact the book does an excellent job of promoting the high occupation of raising children and running a household...while changing the world. It just doesn't get much better than that.
I like that Whithey shows Abigail's weaknesses as well as numerous strengths. Withey also shows Abigal's contradictions without glossing them over or trying to remake her to better fit modern molds. For example, Abigail was a huge advocate of education for women yet she felt a woman's place was in the home.
In fact the book does an excellent job of promoting the high occupation of raising children and running a household...while changing the world. It just doesn't get much better than that.
November 8, 2017
Abigail Adams was truly a very determined and admirable colonial woman. Well worth reading about her life.
June 11, 2012
I would have loved to have known Abigail Adams! We share many of the same concerns and opinions. She sacrificed a lot for the sake of her country, and I agree with her opinion that, for the most part, it was unappreciated. I particularly appreciate her values and moral convictions -- both private and public. I learned a lot about the Revolutionary War from this book, and gained more respect for the process that resulted in our nation today.
Read
June 20, 2019I started this book but I didn't get far. I've read some excellent books and the real-life letters of this amazing woman. The author kept inserting her opinions into this book. I also felt like she didn't understand Abigail Adams faith or historical context at all. If she had, she might have understood a little why a woman of education could be content to be at home.
November 4, 2011
“Abigail Adams was a tiny woman, little more than five feet tall, with dark hair, piercing eyes, and a forceful personality that belied her size.”
I don’t understand people who say they don’t like history. History not only provides a reader with events and people that are fascinating, but one can often make a connection with our own lives today. Abigail Adams is a perfect example of this. She was not only a strong and capable woman with her own opinions, as the wife of John Adams, she moved in circles that literally changed the history of the world.
Lynne Withey’s biography, is an excellent portrayal of this amazing woman. I really got a sense of who Abigail Adams was. She believed strongly in the American Revolution and sacrificed much for her country. There were few women (and men, for that matter) who would have allowed their families to be separated for years at a time for the idea of a republic. Her sacrifices were not only separation: loss of income and the running of their farm were burdens that Abigail Adams shouldered as well.
Having recently read a biography of Martha Washington, the amount of information present in Withey’s book was refreshing. Not the fault of Washington’s biographer, the correspondence that survives between the Adamses is a treasure trove, compared with Mrs. Washington, who burned all the letters between herself and her husband.
I also enjoyed Withey’s writing style and incorporation of Abigail Adams’ own letters into this biography. There may be some that complain about the subject’s misspellings, but that was life in the 18th century, and I feel that modern readers should be exposed to original writings. I had also read that there were some complaints about Withey’s interpretation of Mrs. Adams’ feminism, but it seems to me the author was absolutely correct. It is wrong to dismiss her conservatism as merely a product of the times. There are many modern conservative women who do not see a contradiction with believing that a woman’s role is primarily as wives and mothers, and still believe in equality and abhor injustice.
I very much enjoyed Dearest Friend and give it high recommendation!
I don’t understand people who say they don’t like history. History not only provides a reader with events and people that are fascinating, but one can often make a connection with our own lives today. Abigail Adams is a perfect example of this. She was not only a strong and capable woman with her own opinions, as the wife of John Adams, she moved in circles that literally changed the history of the world.
Lynne Withey’s biography, is an excellent portrayal of this amazing woman. I really got a sense of who Abigail Adams was. She believed strongly in the American Revolution and sacrificed much for her country. There were few women (and men, for that matter) who would have allowed their families to be separated for years at a time for the idea of a republic. Her sacrifices were not only separation: loss of income and the running of their farm were burdens that Abigail Adams shouldered as well.
Having recently read a biography of Martha Washington, the amount of information present in Withey’s book was refreshing. Not the fault of Washington’s biographer, the correspondence that survives between the Adamses is a treasure trove, compared with Mrs. Washington, who burned all the letters between herself and her husband.
I also enjoyed Withey’s writing style and incorporation of Abigail Adams’ own letters into this biography. There may be some that complain about the subject’s misspellings, but that was life in the 18th century, and I feel that modern readers should be exposed to original writings. I had also read that there were some complaints about Withey’s interpretation of Mrs. Adams’ feminism, but it seems to me the author was absolutely correct. It is wrong to dismiss her conservatism as merely a product of the times. There are many modern conservative women who do not see a contradiction with believing that a woman’s role is primarily as wives and mothers, and still believe in equality and abhor injustice.
I very much enjoyed Dearest Friend and give it high recommendation!
July 9, 2018
This book wasn’t amazing, but it was quite interesting and an easy read. The author had a feminist bent that came through often, but overall, I found AA’s life and writings rather fascinating.
February 25, 2012
I've long been a fan of Abigail Adams, ever since I taught 5th grade history and used one of her letters as a primary source document to shed light on the Battle of Bunker(Breeds') Hill. Not surprisingly, my favorite parts of this book were the exerpts from Abigail's original letters. She was a beautiful writer. I see much in her character to admire, not the least of which was her lifelong romance with her husband. This book was loaded with historical context, and commentary on Abigail and her times, as well. Because of that it got a little bogged down for me. But it is thorough. First published in the early 80's, the author saw Adams' take on femininity old-fashioned as seen through her (the author's) ERA-era eyes...I found Abigail's devotion to family, principles and the values she held dear admirable. She had a long, interesting and independent life, maintaining a solid friendship with John through it all. They strongly influenced each other, as couples are wont to do.
January 29, 2009
This was a good book in many ways. I especially liked the primary sources used, particularly the letters. I was disappointed that the author wrote a history book from such a skewed perspective. She often implies that Abigails views on womanhood and motherhood and religion would have been different today. The author obviously has modern feminist ideas that she tries to project onto Abigail.
Not a bad book but due to the author's obvious bias I felt I had to take some of the commentary with a grain of salt.
Not a bad book but due to the author's obvious bias I felt I had to take some of the commentary with a grain of salt.
March 25, 2018
A book like this is best enjoyed in small bites. It is pretty easy reading, but very historical in nature, and includes a lot of her writings. She was quite an interesting character though, and I identified with her in many ways.
April 4, 2025
This is an excellent historical review of Abigail Adam’s life.it is filled with quotes from letters she wrote. It delves into the world of women at that time and the early role she played in being the wife of both a vice-president and a President in the early days of our republic.
October 26, 2010
This was an excellent biographer. There are so many quotes from her letters and correspondence that it really felt like I was reading the opinions of Abigail Adams instead of the biographer's opinion of what Abigail's opinions might have been. It is a long book, so be prepared for that.
It covers her life very thoroughly, and I was fascinated to learn more about Abigail's views on Revolution politics, early immunizations, her family dynamics, foreign politics, the wars, and motherhood. She believed that women should receive an education for the benefit of their homes and families.
It really seemed like she and John achieved a oneness in their marriage that many married couples just dream of. I really loved learning over and over again how they respected each other, loved each other, needed each other, and considered each other to be their dearest friend. It was beautiful.
I felt that the book was repetitious at times, but I honestly think it was just being true to Abigail's opinions by doing so. It was really interesting to see her opinions change, specifically over political parties. It is nice to be reassured that as one grows, matures, and has different life experiences, their opinions will often (or at least can) change.
I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys biographies, wants to learn more about the origins of their country, and is not daunted by a long novel.
It covers her life very thoroughly, and I was fascinated to learn more about Abigail's views on Revolution politics, early immunizations, her family dynamics, foreign politics, the wars, and motherhood. She believed that women should receive an education for the benefit of their homes and families.
It really seemed like she and John achieved a oneness in their marriage that many married couples just dream of. I really loved learning over and over again how they respected each other, loved each other, needed each other, and considered each other to be their dearest friend. It was beautiful.
I felt that the book was repetitious at times, but I honestly think it was just being true to Abigail's opinions by doing so. It was really interesting to see her opinions change, specifically over political parties. It is nice to be reassured that as one grows, matures, and has different life experiences, their opinions will often (or at least can) change.
I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys biographies, wants to learn more about the origins of their country, and is not daunted by a long novel.
December 9, 2008
No regrets on reading this biography. Content-wise it's a 5-star, but as a well done biography, it only rates "3". I loved learning all about Abigail Adams, and I loved that much of her actual writing was incorporated into the book. You can tell that Withey sorted through mounds of material to distill out a coherent story line, but she really did have difficulty with repetition and (a bit) with continuity. It was doubly frustrating that in the midst of the repetition she would toss in new, interesting tidbits. It made the book impossible to skim, and yet tedious to wade through. I feel like I learned a lot, but at a somewhat steep price. On a quick glance I'm not seeing another biography highly recommended, so I would by no means discourage others from taking a whack at it - the subject matter makes it worth it. If you can read it in the midst of a tour of Washington DC and Colonial Williamsburg, as I did, so much the better!
[I can't help but wonder if the other reviewers' complaints about spelling should be directed at Abigail herself?! The direct quotes are just that - spelling conventions were different, and there's no reason to suppose she was a great speller anyway given her embarrassment about her lack of formal education.]
[I can't help but wonder if the other reviewers' complaints about spelling should be directed at Abigail herself?! The direct quotes are just that - spelling conventions were different, and there's no reason to suppose she was a great speller anyway given her embarrassment about her lack of formal education.]
February 1, 2011
A blurb on the back cover of this book says, “Most powerfully the history of a marriage, an Eleanor and Franklin for the eighteenth century with one important difference: Their marriage worked.” (Pauline Maier, in the NYT Book Review.) Abigail was certainly a woman ahead of her time. She kept the farm in Braintree, Mass, bore six children including two daughters who did not live, and maintained an interest in politics and current events. Her husband John spent years traveling, first to Philadelphia and then to Paris and London, so that she was left with the care of everything at home. She eventually accompanied John to London, and of course to Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. when he became vice president and president. This book includes much information about the politics and government of the time, but it is mostly a portrait of Abigail and her domestic life, with quotations from many letters she and her husband wrote to each other. I enjoyed it very much.
May 7, 2009
Ever since I saw 1776 at the Utah Shakespearean Festival in 2003, I've been fascinated by John and Abigail Adams. This is my first foray into actually learning about them.
Very well written. Author uses lots of direct quotes from letters, which makes the book more personal and intimate. I think this will be a good preview for McCullough's book about John, which I plan to read as soon as the library gets it in.
Abigail was super tough and very opinionated, but she also changed her mind when she understood more about a situation. I love her fortitude and sacrifice. The woman stayed in Massachusetts while her husband and oldest son were in Europe for FOUR YEARS! And she'd only hear from them a few times a year. Abigail is my new hero.
Very well written. Author uses lots of direct quotes from letters, which makes the book more personal and intimate. I think this will be a good preview for McCullough's book about John, which I plan to read as soon as the library gets it in.
Abigail was super tough and very opinionated, but she also changed her mind when she understood more about a situation. I love her fortitude and sacrifice. The woman stayed in Massachusetts while her husband and oldest son were in Europe for FOUR YEARS! And she'd only hear from them a few times a year. Abigail is my new hero.
May 1, 2009
I found this had interesting insight into colonial America and the life of Abigail and John Adams. There were many quotes from her letters which helped show her personality (and John's) and I also enjoyed pondering the ways in which life was different back then: travel, communication, courtship, education, family life, etc. It certainly kept me interested all the way through. I am in the middle of watching the HBO miniseries as well and that probably helped bring everything even more to life (although I think the series is only so-so). If you like historical biographies, I think you would like this.
May 28, 2011
I love reading about John and Abigail. They were truly amazing people who loved our country and each other unlike any two other people I know of. It was a fun book to read after reading the John Adams biography and, being familiar with the stories of her life, hearing the stories again but with her views. Fantastic book about fantastic people. Everyone should read this along with the John Adams biography by David McCullough.
May 20, 2014
This book was informative and detailed-- Abigail Adams was certainly a vivid and influential woman of her time. All in all the writing left a little to be desired. It's a good thing I enjoy history or more appropriately, "herstory".
December 5, 2011
LOVE, LOVE, LOVED this book, was sad that it ended, but I guess Abigail couldn't live forever.
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May 14, 2017Her spelling is unorthodox, her capitalization is random and her punctuation almost nonexistent. She herself was well aware of these facts and attributed them to lack of education.
Shy and reserved like mother Nabby also displayed a certain stubbornness of spirit that dismayed her mother and delighted her father.
John had an unfortunate tendency to talk too much and to press his opinions on others.
He grew to be impressed with Ab knowledge and her determined pursuit of an education.
Gov of one`s own soul requires greater Parts and Virtues than the Management of Kingdoms.
It seems that the qualities John scorned in 15-year old Abigail were, in the long run, the qualities he admired. Her wit and intelligence were foremost among them. He shared the prevalent notions about female inferiority, but he admired intelligence above all else. In Ab, he met his intellectual match. Her learning and her insatiable thirst for knowledge made her a fit companion for an aspiring lawyer who was interested more in the intellectual demands of studying law than in the day to day drudgery of writing wits and wills.
She was prudent, modest, delicate, soft, sensible, obliging.For an 18th century woman, ambition was seriously circumscribed and the best she could expect was to act out her aspirations within her husband's orbit. I know of nothing more irksome than being just at the door of Bliss, and not being in a capacity to enter.
All this probing into each other's personal qualities was tempered by their deep affection for each other and their sense of humor so that the dialogue strengthened rather than threatened their relationship.
Cooking and sewing consumed the bulk of her time. Tending the garden and caring for livestock were traditionally women's responsibilities too. She also made most of their everyday clothes and linens. She knew how to spin and weave, but they were arduous, time-consuming tasks and produced best a plain, coarse cloth.
He was an eloquent public speaker and he soon became one of the principal spokesmen for the American point of view.
He joined the Sons of Liberty, a radical organization that grew out of Stamp Act controversy.
Her children's education and moral development were much more serious problems for Abigail than their physical well being. Tangible, practical ways of raising a child were easily mastered and produced obviously visible results. She believed seriously that mothers were primarily responsible for training their kids to become moral God fearing useful adults.
Newer ideas urged instead that kids personalities are molded gradually and gently with the discipline to be employed sparingly and rationally and obedience for its own sake never demanded of children. She was quite conscious of new ideas that emphasized the importance of a mother's early care in her kid's development.
Innocent childish behavior was to be overlooked and children's minds were not to be pushed too fast too soon. The "plants" would grow according to the quality of care they received. If their growth was stunted, it had to be their mother's fault.
Dirt streets, crowded conditions, primitive sanitation gave B a distinctive pungent odor - most of the time she enjoyed the change of pace. Infant deaths were commonplace at that time, hardly any family escaped losing at least one of its children. Knowing that they were not alone was no consolation for parents.
18th-century legal usage allowed first offenders to get off with only this token punishment (branded on their thumbs - žigosan).
he believed in accused man's right to legal counsel at least as strongly as he believed in the cause of American rights. A fair trial for the soldiers would show Br and other colonies that Bostonian still believed in the preservation of the constitutional rights that they had not completely degenerated into violence and lawlessness.
In Jan 1768, reflecting on his past, and what New Year might bring, he asked himself questions that troubled him throughout his career: What were the goals of his life, money or power?
Was it more important for him to serve his country or to concentrate on supporting his family?
She could hardly know on that night in June 1770, how sorely she would be tried in the years to come.
While convention barred women from any public role in politics, she was deeply engaged in debate on the sidelines, among family and friends. Free of the restrictions felt by men in public life, she sometimes expressed herself a good deal more colorfully than they in denunciations of the mother country.
In the course of her thinking with American relations with Britain, she also began to question the position of women in American society. She became particularly interested in women who stepped outside the boundaries that society established for them. She most admired Mercy Otis Warren and Catherine Macaulay. Her thinking about women and American politics were inseparable.
Women might be considered Domestic Beings, but their curiosity about world beyond homes and families was a match for any mans.
Consistent with her general beliefs, she thought that education constituted only significant difference among people - and there was nothing to stop Americans from being just as well educated as anyone else.
Top British officials always thought of Boston as a hotbed of radicalism and predicted that the American troubles would subside quickly if only Boston radicals could be suppressed. To that end, Parliament passed the Boston Port Bill prohibiting all shipping into and out of Boston until the town paid for the damaged tea. It was a measure designed to cripple the city's economy and bring to its knees quickly.
"The town of Boston, for ought I can see, must suffer Martyrdom, it must expire. And our principal consolation is that it dies in a noble cause. Cause of Truth, Virtue, Liberty and Humanity"
In the spring of 1773, she met Mercy OW, who became a close friend, a strong influence on her thinking and a sounding board for her ideas. She had impeccable revolutionary credentials. She became a literary and political figure in her own right as a writer first of plays and later of history, all written with clear political intent. She was instantly attracted to Mercy and soon came to regard her as a model for her own life.
It was one thing to write poetry privately in her spare time, but would not writing and publishing satire make her unfeminine?
Arguments of 18th century writers (whether 1720/1760) had strong impact on Am radicals, they described and criticized changes in En politics that seemed to explain evils of the current En administration and its attacks on Am liberties.
There were also strong moral overtones to their arguments, it was this aspect of their writings that appealed to Am. "Power corrupts" was their most persistent message.
She believed that many qualities of human nature were essentially neutral. whether they were put to good or bad use depended on whether they were harnessed by virtue and reason or by passion and personal interest.
Whatever the situation, individuals were always to be judged by yardsticks of virtue and vice.
Macaulay was among the most radical of En political writers of 1760-1770, unlike most, she went far to advocate a republican form of government. She saw promise of significant political reform. She believed Am were filled with that firmness, fortitude, undaunted resolution which ever attends those who are conscious that they are the injured not the injurer, and they are engaged in a righteous cause. The courts may have been temporarily suspended, but Honor and Conscience proved more powerful than judicial proceedings.
People of NE were suffering seriously because of Parliaments actions, so seriously that possibility of war was ever present in their minds.
"we are invaded with fleets and Armies, our commerce not only obstructed but totally ruined, courts of Justice shut, many driven out from Metropolis, thousands reduced to want or dependent upon the charity of their neighbors for daily supply of food, all the Horrors of civil war threatening us on one hand, and the chains of Slavery ready forged us on the other"
Their love for each one strengthened with years,they shared everything - their views on politics,fears for the country,ideas about the farm,hopes for their children-depended on each other for comfort in any crisis. Even if Johns letters were of little practical help, she depended on them tremendously to keep up her spirits and maintain some sense of continuity in their marriage.
Philadelphia was far removed from the menace of Br troops and was much more conservative politically. He contended daily with men who advocated a cautious and conciliatory policy toward Britain, it was good to be reminded that NE was ready to explode into war.
Rumors about British plot to seize all of B gunpowder enraged local population and posed the threat of violence.
It always appeared a most iniquitous Scheme to me - fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to freedom as we have. It was a conviction that came to be widespread among northern Am during and after Revolution.
Frugality - denial of material possessions/pleasures-was equated with virtue. Virtue to Am,equaled strength. A virtuous Am struggling against a corrupt England was one of patriots favorite images.
Portia, wife of Brutus, was a favorite example of womanly virtue in classical times.
Action was better waiting.She refused to panic or to budge from home until actually threatened.
One tragic piece of news was definite:Joseph Warren was dead.Handsome young physician had been one of their most intimate friends and with John, one of the earliest advocates of American rights. He was one of the first casualties. Abigail reported the news to John with a heavy heart.
In June he reported selection oh GW as CiC of the Continental Army,, move he thought would unite the colonies. Abigail continued to take in as many of the homeless as she could to help others find temporary lodgings. She contended Eng was no longer a "parent State" but a "tyrant State"
Almost all colonies including Mass, set up extralegal governing assemblies,but Cong hedged in the matter of formally authorizing the colonies to write constitutions and set up new permanent governments. Cong sent instructions authorizing NH to call provincial convention to form new gov.
"The great fish swallow up the small,he who is the most strenuous for the Rights of the People,when vested with power, is as eager after prerogatives of Gov". Popular opinion held that women had no business meddling in politics, but John praised his wife's talents and encouraged her to continue writing on political subjects, just as he always encouraged Mercy Warren in her more political writings.
He not only appreciated her diligence in reporting events, but admired her skill in characterizing people she met and in general, her facility in expressing herself. Men were impressed with this woman of fiery political principles.
"Whom God has joined together ought not to be put asunder so long with their own consent"
Paine argued that Am should adopt rep form of gov.
Anomaly of slavery in nation dedicated to liberty continued to bother her.She was interested the most in what future status of women might be under rep gov.
She was prepared to argue that ppl struggling for own freedom could not morally enslave others. By the time of Revolution, antislavery sentiment was widespread in NE/North Colonies,all N.states abolished slavery within few yrs after war ended.
All men would be tyrants if they could.If particular care and atten is not paid to ladies we are determined to foment Rebellion,will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice,representation.
Am was suffering from British tyranny but all men were potential tyrants if their base instincts were not held in check by reason/virtue. She wanted Cong in adopting new laws to revise/eliminate those English laws that gave men absolute power over their wives.
Women's suffrage was an unthinkably radical idea in the 18th c.
In her eyes, improved legal/social status of women was not inconsistent with their essentially domestic role. Great benefit must arise from literary accomplishments in women.
Americans were a most ungrateful ppl. With the best opportunities for becoming happy ppl,and all materials in our power,we have neither skill nor wisdom to put them together.
Domestic self-sufficiency became a matter of patriotism. Every step taken to reduce dependence on foreign imports was hailed as contribution to American success in the war.
Ch 7
The long-winded debates and petulant behaviour of Congressmen were nothing compared to intrigues of foreign courts.
John was steeped in ideology of New World simplicity and virtue vs Old World decadence/corruption,he found them aplenty in France.
US youth according to popular ideology was, freed it from the vices of Europe, but John was made acutely aware of the potentially disruptive effects of his country lack of history/traditions. He hated political/social system of France,but was attracted to sense of order it created.
Comments about their greater accomplishments fueled her contention that education for American women had to be improved.
Abigail always wanted another daughter and Luisa thrived under her care.
(Lowell) His polite compliments/professions of concern for her well-being, appropriate enough for the wife of of former colleague, gave way to more effusive compliments that bordered on impropriety. Such attn was flattering,to her of thinking improper.
Had she found his letters offensive truly she could simply stopped writing him.
John respected Franklins skills as a diplomat,but thought his intellectual abilities were overrated.
The more he stayed in Paris,moreover the more he deplored his morals.
He seldom expressed feelings of affection for her,this was a sign of his troubled state of mind,to her it was unforgivable.
He did not want her innermost emotions broadcast to the world.
8 -He was chosen for committee assigned to draft const,delegated to write 1st draft. He not overrated Franklin would be responsible for negotiating peace.
he thought it was never too early to introduce his sons to the ways of the world. What made them unusual was not the fact of separation but length of it. Their happiness was less important than public good. They spent better 10yrs living miserably apart,it could never be said of him he enjoyed Paris more for having left his wife behind. They remained unquestionably devoted to each other, suffered severly from prolonged separations.
Denial of pleasure/comfort gave testimony in his own mind that duty, not ambition was what motivated him.
She relished this involvement,for she was as fascinated by politics as he was.
Miserable when she was gone, she would have been equally miserable if he stayed unwillingly, lived out a life of thwarted ambition. Either way she lost,this way she had dope for future.
She undertook activities first out of necessity to keep accounts in order, to balance family budget as inflation raged in NE, gradually she broadened her sights to make invest.that she hoped would guarantee financial security. She had a head for business, was perfectly capable of driving a hard bargain to get what she wanted, eventually she took over finc.mgt altogether.
There were sinister forces in Europe out to tarnish his reputation to serve own private interests. Virtue, unflagging public service were never appreciated, good men could never expect anything but abuse. Public duty always won despite assaults on his honor.
He will be satiated by travel in his childhood, and care nothing about it I hope in his riper years.
She saw ppl around her living in high style, making profits from hardships of war while she suffered. I must be within the Scent of the Sea. You are loosing all opportunities for helping yourself, for those who are daily becoming more unworthy of your Labours, who will neither care for you, or your family when their own turn is served - so selfish is mankind.
Money, rather than breeding seemed to be the key to social status.
9 - Year of deepening depression would be the worst months of her life. Her love for him, undiminished by years, helped comfort her lonely hrs, she could not help thinking about the precious time together that was lost forever. He joked about their spirits flying back/forth across the ocean. ....He was person best qualified to negotiate commercial treaty wh Brit. He wanted to be 1st Am Amb to Br court.
Living in Eur capital playing hostess to statesmen/courtiers did not appeal to her. Unlike his her sense of duty had limits...deserved to look after their own interests for a change.
It was kind of description bound to arouse his strongest neg reaction (Tyler).
I don't like this method of Courting mothers. She believed realistically that violent opposition never served a cause of this nature. She was acutely aware of advancing age. She reminded him that prestige of his position would be more than offset by its difficulties.
She believed in the merit rather in the titles. Your letter of the 23rd made me the happiest man on Earth. It was one of the constant features of 18th century travel no one could ever predict exactly when he would arrive anywhere. Attn Eur paid to fashion struck her especially forcefully. Jefferson described Am Comm as the lowest, most obscure of the whole diplomatic tribe.
She dwelled on immorality of Fr marriage customs at length bc she deeply believed marriage was the basis of well-ordered society,wh religion, education, hard work. All these props seemed weak. Pleasure pursuit, loose sexual morality, ignorance of masses, appearant disrespect for religion all made her wonder hoe society could survive. Even among upper classes, marriage was no sacred.
Jefferson and him worked 2geth on Declaration,despite differ backgrounds they had much in common: both passionately fond of books, preferred quiet family life to social life that Franklin enjoyed.
11 -She found London more prosperous and much grander city than Paris. She felt more at home in England which shared with America common language, religion, legal system and many same customs.
12 - Too many ppl failed to realize they must look for happiness in their own hearts, not in outside amusements. She became increasingly conservative on political issues, continued to argue for an end to women political and legal liabilities...
Nabby has ever been averse to all kinds of extravagance and dissipation...I keep my old habit of rising at an early hour (5am), if i did not I should have little command of my time. ..She prized good old NE virtues of frugality and industry...NW showed a remarkable unity of purpose unlike Philadelphia which was a hotbed of Jacobinism, South was on the wrong political track.
Ch 16 -Such financial reverses happened to other people who speculated unwisely, trusted their money to fools, or lived beyond their means...On the definition of children's best interest she was certain there could be no dispute.
She was inured to the idea that patriotic men served their country no matter how great the hardships, although her faith was sorely tried by this appointment.
Shy and reserved like mother Nabby also displayed a certain stubbornness of spirit that dismayed her mother and delighted her father.
John had an unfortunate tendency to talk too much and to press his opinions on others.
He grew to be impressed with Ab knowledge and her determined pursuit of an education.
Gov of one`s own soul requires greater Parts and Virtues than the Management of Kingdoms.
It seems that the qualities John scorned in 15-year old Abigail were, in the long run, the qualities he admired. Her wit and intelligence were foremost among them. He shared the prevalent notions about female inferiority, but he admired intelligence above all else. In Ab, he met his intellectual match. Her learning and her insatiable thirst for knowledge made her a fit companion for an aspiring lawyer who was interested more in the intellectual demands of studying law than in the day to day drudgery of writing wits and wills.
She was prudent, modest, delicate, soft, sensible, obliging.For an 18th century woman, ambition was seriously circumscribed and the best she could expect was to act out her aspirations within her husband's orbit. I know of nothing more irksome than being just at the door of Bliss, and not being in a capacity to enter.
All this probing into each other's personal qualities was tempered by their deep affection for each other and their sense of humor so that the dialogue strengthened rather than threatened their relationship.
Cooking and sewing consumed the bulk of her time. Tending the garden and caring for livestock were traditionally women's responsibilities too. She also made most of their everyday clothes and linens. She knew how to spin and weave, but they were arduous, time-consuming tasks and produced best a plain, coarse cloth.
He was an eloquent public speaker and he soon became one of the principal spokesmen for the American point of view.
He joined the Sons of Liberty, a radical organization that grew out of Stamp Act controversy.
Her children's education and moral development were much more serious problems for Abigail than their physical well being. Tangible, practical ways of raising a child were easily mastered and produced obviously visible results. She believed seriously that mothers were primarily responsible for training their kids to become moral God fearing useful adults.
Newer ideas urged instead that kids personalities are molded gradually and gently with the discipline to be employed sparingly and rationally and obedience for its own sake never demanded of children. She was quite conscious of new ideas that emphasized the importance of a mother's early care in her kid's development.
Innocent childish behavior was to be overlooked and children's minds were not to be pushed too fast too soon. The "plants" would grow according to the quality of care they received. If their growth was stunted, it had to be their mother's fault.
Dirt streets, crowded conditions, primitive sanitation gave B a distinctive pungent odor - most of the time she enjoyed the change of pace. Infant deaths were commonplace at that time, hardly any family escaped losing at least one of its children. Knowing that they were not alone was no consolation for parents.
18th-century legal usage allowed first offenders to get off with only this token punishment (branded on their thumbs - žigosan).
he believed in accused man's right to legal counsel at least as strongly as he believed in the cause of American rights. A fair trial for the soldiers would show Br and other colonies that Bostonian still believed in the preservation of the constitutional rights that they had not completely degenerated into violence and lawlessness.
In Jan 1768, reflecting on his past, and what New Year might bring, he asked himself questions that troubled him throughout his career: What were the goals of his life, money or power?
Was it more important for him to serve his country or to concentrate on supporting his family?
She could hardly know on that night in June 1770, how sorely she would be tried in the years to come.
While convention barred women from any public role in politics, she was deeply engaged in debate on the sidelines, among family and friends. Free of the restrictions felt by men in public life, she sometimes expressed herself a good deal more colorfully than they in denunciations of the mother country.
In the course of her thinking with American relations with Britain, she also began to question the position of women in American society. She became particularly interested in women who stepped outside the boundaries that society established for them. She most admired Mercy Otis Warren and Catherine Macaulay. Her thinking about women and American politics were inseparable.
Women might be considered Domestic Beings, but their curiosity about world beyond homes and families was a match for any mans.
Consistent with her general beliefs, she thought that education constituted only significant difference among people - and there was nothing to stop Americans from being just as well educated as anyone else.
Top British officials always thought of Boston as a hotbed of radicalism and predicted that the American troubles would subside quickly if only Boston radicals could be suppressed. To that end, Parliament passed the Boston Port Bill prohibiting all shipping into and out of Boston until the town paid for the damaged tea. It was a measure designed to cripple the city's economy and bring to its knees quickly.
"The town of Boston, for ought I can see, must suffer Martyrdom, it must expire. And our principal consolation is that it dies in a noble cause. Cause of Truth, Virtue, Liberty and Humanity"
In the spring of 1773, she met Mercy OW, who became a close friend, a strong influence on her thinking and a sounding board for her ideas. She had impeccable revolutionary credentials. She became a literary and political figure in her own right as a writer first of plays and later of history, all written with clear political intent. She was instantly attracted to Mercy and soon came to regard her as a model for her own life.
It was one thing to write poetry privately in her spare time, but would not writing and publishing satire make her unfeminine?
Arguments of 18th century writers (whether 1720/1760) had strong impact on Am radicals, they described and criticized changes in En politics that seemed to explain evils of the current En administration and its attacks on Am liberties.
There were also strong moral overtones to their arguments, it was this aspect of their writings that appealed to Am. "Power corrupts" was their most persistent message.
She believed that many qualities of human nature were essentially neutral. whether they were put to good or bad use depended on whether they were harnessed by virtue and reason or by passion and personal interest.
Whatever the situation, individuals were always to be judged by yardsticks of virtue and vice.
Macaulay was among the most radical of En political writers of 1760-1770, unlike most, she went far to advocate a republican form of government. She saw promise of significant political reform. She believed Am were filled with that firmness, fortitude, undaunted resolution which ever attends those who are conscious that they are the injured not the injurer, and they are engaged in a righteous cause. The courts may have been temporarily suspended, but Honor and Conscience proved more powerful than judicial proceedings.
People of NE were suffering seriously because of Parliaments actions, so seriously that possibility of war was ever present in their minds.
"we are invaded with fleets and Armies, our commerce not only obstructed but totally ruined, courts of Justice shut, many driven out from Metropolis, thousands reduced to want or dependent upon the charity of their neighbors for daily supply of food, all the Horrors of civil war threatening us on one hand, and the chains of Slavery ready forged us on the other"
Their love for each one strengthened with years,they shared everything - their views on politics,fears for the country,ideas about the farm,hopes for their children-depended on each other for comfort in any crisis. Even if Johns letters were of little practical help, she depended on them tremendously to keep up her spirits and maintain some sense of continuity in their marriage.
Philadelphia was far removed from the menace of Br troops and was much more conservative politically. He contended daily with men who advocated a cautious and conciliatory policy toward Britain, it was good to be reminded that NE was ready to explode into war.
Rumors about British plot to seize all of B gunpowder enraged local population and posed the threat of violence.
It always appeared a most iniquitous Scheme to me - fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to freedom as we have. It was a conviction that came to be widespread among northern Am during and after Revolution.
Frugality - denial of material possessions/pleasures-was equated with virtue. Virtue to Am,equaled strength. A virtuous Am struggling against a corrupt England was one of patriots favorite images.
Portia, wife of Brutus, was a favorite example of womanly virtue in classical times.
Action was better waiting.She refused to panic or to budge from home until actually threatened.
One tragic piece of news was definite:Joseph Warren was dead.Handsome young physician had been one of their most intimate friends and with John, one of the earliest advocates of American rights. He was one of the first casualties. Abigail reported the news to John with a heavy heart.
In June he reported selection oh GW as CiC of the Continental Army,, move he thought would unite the colonies. Abigail continued to take in as many of the homeless as she could to help others find temporary lodgings. She contended Eng was no longer a "parent State" but a "tyrant State"
Almost all colonies including Mass, set up extralegal governing assemblies,but Cong hedged in the matter of formally authorizing the colonies to write constitutions and set up new permanent governments. Cong sent instructions authorizing NH to call provincial convention to form new gov.
"The great fish swallow up the small,he who is the most strenuous for the Rights of the People,when vested with power, is as eager after prerogatives of Gov". Popular opinion held that women had no business meddling in politics, but John praised his wife's talents and encouraged her to continue writing on political subjects, just as he always encouraged Mercy Warren in her more political writings.
He not only appreciated her diligence in reporting events, but admired her skill in characterizing people she met and in general, her facility in expressing herself. Men were impressed with this woman of fiery political principles.
"Whom God has joined together ought not to be put asunder so long with their own consent"
Paine argued that Am should adopt rep form of gov.
Anomaly of slavery in nation dedicated to liberty continued to bother her.She was interested the most in what future status of women might be under rep gov.
She was prepared to argue that ppl struggling for own freedom could not morally enslave others. By the time of Revolution, antislavery sentiment was widespread in NE/North Colonies,all N.states abolished slavery within few yrs after war ended.
All men would be tyrants if they could.If particular care and atten is not paid to ladies we are determined to foment Rebellion,will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice,representation.
Am was suffering from British tyranny but all men were potential tyrants if their base instincts were not held in check by reason/virtue. She wanted Cong in adopting new laws to revise/eliminate those English laws that gave men absolute power over their wives.
Women's suffrage was an unthinkably radical idea in the 18th c.
In her eyes, improved legal/social status of women was not inconsistent with their essentially domestic role. Great benefit must arise from literary accomplishments in women.
Americans were a most ungrateful ppl. With the best opportunities for becoming happy ppl,and all materials in our power,we have neither skill nor wisdom to put them together.
Domestic self-sufficiency became a matter of patriotism. Every step taken to reduce dependence on foreign imports was hailed as contribution to American success in the war.
Ch 7
The long-winded debates and petulant behaviour of Congressmen were nothing compared to intrigues of foreign courts.
John was steeped in ideology of New World simplicity and virtue vs Old World decadence/corruption,he found them aplenty in France.
US youth according to popular ideology was, freed it from the vices of Europe, but John was made acutely aware of the potentially disruptive effects of his country lack of history/traditions. He hated political/social system of France,but was attracted to sense of order it created.
Comments about their greater accomplishments fueled her contention that education for American women had to be improved.
Abigail always wanted another daughter and Luisa thrived under her care.
(Lowell) His polite compliments/professions of concern for her well-being, appropriate enough for the wife of of former colleague, gave way to more effusive compliments that bordered on impropriety. Such attn was flattering,to her of thinking improper.
Had she found his letters offensive truly she could simply stopped writing him.
John respected Franklins skills as a diplomat,but thought his intellectual abilities were overrated.
The more he stayed in Paris,moreover the more he deplored his morals.
He seldom expressed feelings of affection for her,this was a sign of his troubled state of mind,to her it was unforgivable.
He did not want her innermost emotions broadcast to the world.
8 -He was chosen for committee assigned to draft const,delegated to write 1st draft. He not overrated Franklin would be responsible for negotiating peace.
he thought it was never too early to introduce his sons to the ways of the world. What made them unusual was not the fact of separation but length of it. Their happiness was less important than public good. They spent better 10yrs living miserably apart,it could never be said of him he enjoyed Paris more for having left his wife behind. They remained unquestionably devoted to each other, suffered severly from prolonged separations.
Denial of pleasure/comfort gave testimony in his own mind that duty, not ambition was what motivated him.
She relished this involvement,for she was as fascinated by politics as he was.
Miserable when she was gone, she would have been equally miserable if he stayed unwillingly, lived out a life of thwarted ambition. Either way she lost,this way she had dope for future.
She undertook activities first out of necessity to keep accounts in order, to balance family budget as inflation raged in NE, gradually she broadened her sights to make invest.that she hoped would guarantee financial security. She had a head for business, was perfectly capable of driving a hard bargain to get what she wanted, eventually she took over finc.mgt altogether.
There were sinister forces in Europe out to tarnish his reputation to serve own private interests. Virtue, unflagging public service were never appreciated, good men could never expect anything but abuse. Public duty always won despite assaults on his honor.
He will be satiated by travel in his childhood, and care nothing about it I hope in his riper years.
She saw ppl around her living in high style, making profits from hardships of war while she suffered. I must be within the Scent of the Sea. You are loosing all opportunities for helping yourself, for those who are daily becoming more unworthy of your Labours, who will neither care for you, or your family when their own turn is served - so selfish is mankind.
Money, rather than breeding seemed to be the key to social status.
9 - Year of deepening depression would be the worst months of her life. Her love for him, undiminished by years, helped comfort her lonely hrs, she could not help thinking about the precious time together that was lost forever. He joked about their spirits flying back/forth across the ocean. ....He was person best qualified to negotiate commercial treaty wh Brit. He wanted to be 1st Am Amb to Br court.
Living in Eur capital playing hostess to statesmen/courtiers did not appeal to her. Unlike his her sense of duty had limits...deserved to look after their own interests for a change.
It was kind of description bound to arouse his strongest neg reaction (Tyler).
I don't like this method of Courting mothers. She believed realistically that violent opposition never served a cause of this nature. She was acutely aware of advancing age. She reminded him that prestige of his position would be more than offset by its difficulties.
She believed in the merit rather in the titles. Your letter of the 23rd made me the happiest man on Earth. It was one of the constant features of 18th century travel no one could ever predict exactly when he would arrive anywhere. Attn Eur paid to fashion struck her especially forcefully. Jefferson described Am Comm as the lowest, most obscure of the whole diplomatic tribe.
She dwelled on immorality of Fr marriage customs at length bc she deeply believed marriage was the basis of well-ordered society,wh religion, education, hard work. All these props seemed weak. Pleasure pursuit, loose sexual morality, ignorance of masses, appearant disrespect for religion all made her wonder hoe society could survive. Even among upper classes, marriage was no sacred.
Jefferson and him worked 2geth on Declaration,despite differ backgrounds they had much in common: both passionately fond of books, preferred quiet family life to social life that Franklin enjoyed.
11 -She found London more prosperous and much grander city than Paris. She felt more at home in England which shared with America common language, religion, legal system and many same customs.
12 - Too many ppl failed to realize they must look for happiness in their own hearts, not in outside amusements. She became increasingly conservative on political issues, continued to argue for an end to women political and legal liabilities...
Nabby has ever been averse to all kinds of extravagance and dissipation...I keep my old habit of rising at an early hour (5am), if i did not I should have little command of my time. ..She prized good old NE virtues of frugality and industry...NW showed a remarkable unity of purpose unlike Philadelphia which was a hotbed of Jacobinism, South was on the wrong political track.
Ch 16 -Such financial reverses happened to other people who speculated unwisely, trusted their money to fools, or lived beyond their means...On the definition of children's best interest she was certain there could be no dispute.
She was inured to the idea that patriotic men served their country no matter how great the hardships, although her faith was sorely tried by this appointment.
October 3, 2021
Interesting book about Abigail Adams, wife of the second president of the United States John Adams, and mother of John Quincy Adams, the sixth president. She was a bright and relatively well educated woman of her time. The book sets the background of women in society as the US becomes a new young nation. Abigail spent much time alone raising their children as her husband was in France and England helping their new country. She raised their four children, managed their farm, finances, and informed her husband of the political climate at home. Their life as the second president and first lady is interesting. The White House was not finished, not furnished, and she had no reference of what a first lady should do, other than try to follow Mrs. Washington's example. It's a good read about perhaps the most influential woman of her time.
March 26, 2018
My daughter has been studying Abigail Adams as part of a big 5th grade project she just finished. While I feel like I’ve studied a lot about different Founding Fathers, I don’t know much about their wives so I grabbed this book from the library & learned along with my daughter.
While I felt like this book was well researched & I learned a lot about Abigail, it almost felt like the author didn’t like her. I just felt like there were an awful lot of backhanded ‘compliments’ but it was really subtle. You know those ‘friends’ who are really nice to you to your face but then talk bad about you behind your back? That’s what this felt like to me. She’s constantly portraying Abigail as a meddling, insecure, woman who doesn’t have anything better to do than complain. Maybe the author was just trying to tell both sides of the story? I just didn’t like the tone. I’d recommend David McCullough’s John Adams instead of this.
2.5 stars
Content: none
While I felt like this book was well researched & I learned a lot about Abigail, it almost felt like the author didn’t like her. I just felt like there were an awful lot of backhanded ‘compliments’ but it was really subtle. You know those ‘friends’ who are really nice to you to your face but then talk bad about you behind your back? That’s what this felt like to me. She’s constantly portraying Abigail as a meddling, insecure, woman who doesn’t have anything better to do than complain. Maybe the author was just trying to tell both sides of the story? I just didn’t like the tone. I’d recommend David McCullough’s John Adams instead of this.
2.5 stars
Content: none
July 5, 2020
Fascinating biography of Abigail Adams, based in large part on her letters as well as those of her family and contemporaries. I can't imagine the amount of research that went into this book but it really gives the reader an intimate view into the lives of a family that had a central role in the American Revolution and the establishment of a new nation.
August 6, 2022
I always love reading about the Adams' family and this biography of Abigail Adams did not disappoint. While it did not go as far in-depth as other more modern biographies of the Adams' tend to do, I enjoyed this trip through her life and I thought the author was fair with her analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of Abigail.
March 25, 2018
This was a strong, well-formed telling of Abigail Adams's life. While I was sometimes frustrated with the judgments added by the author regarding Adams's opinions, I still enjoyed the book and learned a good bit about the second First Lady.
January 23, 2016
Abigail Adams was born in 1744 as the second child of William and Elizabeth Quincy Smith. Her father was the son of a well-to-do Boston merchant and her mother was a member of the Quincy family, which "traced its ancestry back to the founders of New England, to the landed gentry of England, and even to one of the signers of the Magna Carta" (4). Raised and educated at home by Puritan parents who emphasized the value of work, Abigail became one of the best read women of her generation. As a teenager, Abigail met and fell in love with John Adams, who was ten years her senior. Although "only" a lawyer and of lower social status, John's college degree and inherited land and home from his father made him a suitable match. After a long courtship, Abigail and John finally married and moved into a hundred year old home in Braintree, Massachusetts. They quickly became parents and John quickly began pursuing a political career that would keep the deeply in love couple apart for many years of their marriage.
The couple became parents to Abigail (known as Nabby), John Quincy, Charles, and Thomas. Another daughter, Susanna, died as a baby and Abigail lost another stillborn daughter. In the midst of their growing family, John entered politics as a representative to the Massachusetts legislature. This was the couple's entry into many years of what they both considered service to their country. Although both enjoyed the limelight and prestige that John's political work afforded them, they also deeply disliked that it also meant living apart indefinitely. For most of their marriage, Abigail was responsible for raising and educating their children while also running their household, farm, and tenants with very little assistance or input from her husband. With the exceptions of a visit to Europe to visit John while stationed there and her support while he was president, many years of their marriage were characterized by sporadic visits and somewhat infrequent letter writing.
Indeed, one frustration with this biography is that the broken record feel of Withey constantly repeating the unhappy nature of the couple who were separated by John's political service. "John accepted position after position, and Abigail again and again refused to exercise her powerful influence to make him stay home" (115). On the other hand, this book certainly made it clear that John could not have achieved what he did had he not had Abigail in the background, industriously managing much of the labor and logistics of their home and source of livelihood on his behalf. Another frequent repetition was the tension between Abigail's belief that women belonged in the home and her frequent penchant to assert her advice to John, who relied heavily upon it. This heavy handed wielding of power was also obvious in her endless imperious instructions to her children, even after they had children of their own. In other ways, Abigail comes across as a bit of a hypocrite; she argues again and again that she believes in a simple way of life, but was obviously seduced by the lifestyle of Paris and London and certainly grew to appreciate the social and economic status that her husband's political success afforded her.
I do wish this book had covered more of Abigail's early background, principally her childhood and parents' influence on her life. Indeed, this portion of her life is summarized in roughly thirty pages. After her marriage, her parents are almost only referenced upon their deaths. Considering how important family was to Abigail and how prominently her siblings figured in her adult life, this absence of her parents in the summary of her adult life seems suspicious. However, perhaps the author was limited by what information still exists about this time period of Abigail's life.
It was a relief to learn that, after years of unhappy separation, Abigail and John did enjoy some years of retirement in their home, surrounded by their children and grandchildren. Despite the fact that John was considerably older than Abigail, she died several years before him in 1818. Abigail and John had a close marriage that was truly a partnership, one that allowed each of them independence and expression of their individual talents. Although she did not live to witness it, Abigail would likely have been exceedingly proud to become the first woman to be both wife and mother of a president.
The couple became parents to Abigail (known as Nabby), John Quincy, Charles, and Thomas. Another daughter, Susanna, died as a baby and Abigail lost another stillborn daughter. In the midst of their growing family, John entered politics as a representative to the Massachusetts legislature. This was the couple's entry into many years of what they both considered service to their country. Although both enjoyed the limelight and prestige that John's political work afforded them, they also deeply disliked that it also meant living apart indefinitely. For most of their marriage, Abigail was responsible for raising and educating their children while also running their household, farm, and tenants with very little assistance or input from her husband. With the exceptions of a visit to Europe to visit John while stationed there and her support while he was president, many years of their marriage were characterized by sporadic visits and somewhat infrequent letter writing.
Indeed, one frustration with this biography is that the broken record feel of Withey constantly repeating the unhappy nature of the couple who were separated by John's political service. "John accepted position after position, and Abigail again and again refused to exercise her powerful influence to make him stay home" (115). On the other hand, this book certainly made it clear that John could not have achieved what he did had he not had Abigail in the background, industriously managing much of the labor and logistics of their home and source of livelihood on his behalf. Another frequent repetition was the tension between Abigail's belief that women belonged in the home and her frequent penchant to assert her advice to John, who relied heavily upon it. This heavy handed wielding of power was also obvious in her endless imperious instructions to her children, even after they had children of their own. In other ways, Abigail comes across as a bit of a hypocrite; she argues again and again that she believes in a simple way of life, but was obviously seduced by the lifestyle of Paris and London and certainly grew to appreciate the social and economic status that her husband's political success afforded her.
I do wish this book had covered more of Abigail's early background, principally her childhood and parents' influence on her life. Indeed, this portion of her life is summarized in roughly thirty pages. After her marriage, her parents are almost only referenced upon their deaths. Considering how important family was to Abigail and how prominently her siblings figured in her adult life, this absence of her parents in the summary of her adult life seems suspicious. However, perhaps the author was limited by what information still exists about this time period of Abigail's life.
It was a relief to learn that, after years of unhappy separation, Abigail and John did enjoy some years of retirement in their home, surrounded by their children and grandchildren. Despite the fact that John was considerably older than Abigail, she died several years before him in 1818. Abigail and John had a close marriage that was truly a partnership, one that allowed each of them independence and expression of their individual talents. Although she did not live to witness it, Abigail would likely have been exceedingly proud to become the first woman to be both wife and mother of a president.
September 1, 2017
“Dearest Friend” is a highly competent and mostly entertaining biography Abigail Adams, a wife, mother, patriot, and First Lady of the United States (those were ordered specifically, because I feel like Abigail would have ordered the importance of those roles in such a way). Abigail (as the author referred to her) was never a woman to be relegated to a footnote and was so influential to her contemporaries that she was referred to as Mrs. President during John Adams’s single presidential term. However, it is easy to assume aspects about her character, based on her rather famous persona—and of course the famous quote “Remember the Ladies.” Lynne Withey does her best to depict Abigail as she really was, based largely on Abigail’s many letters written to family and friends, and she deftly handles the many—and sometimes contradictory—aspects of Abigail’s character, while never shying away from her flaws.
Withey often allows Abigail’s words to speak for themselves. Almost all her sources come directly from letters, from the Adams Society as well as those to Abigail’s family and friends. Apparently, Abigail encouraged her correspondents to burn her letters—history is beyond grateful that many apparently disregarded her request! It is through her letters that Abigail both reveals the innermost workings of her mind as well as the illusions she harbored about herself. Abigail praised her daughter and granddaughter for being mild-mannered and gentle, but she herself was unswervingly strong-willed and passionate. While John Adams is often considered a revolutionary, Abigail herself was more liberal and extreme than her husband. She was a woman who loved deeply (if sometimes consumingly, as seen by the way she tried to control her adult children’s lives). She was a fascinating, intelligent woman who was both ahead of her time and part of it.
Withey’s skills as a biographer are at their peak when portraying the years of separation between Abigail and her husband. For ten years of their marriage, John and Abigail were apart more often than they were together, and Withey makes us feel Abigail’s suffering from their prolonged separation, as well as understand how those separations changed them as a couple and as individuals. It’s one thing to read about Abigail and John’s time apart—it’s quite another to make her readers sympathize and understand the extent of what they sacrificed for the sake of their fledgling country.
I did not enjoy some aspects of Withey’s biography, however. While moving and transportation was a very large part of the Adams’ lives (between his work as a lawyer, an ambassador, vice president, and president they were frequently on the move) in a time period in which moving was uncommon, difficult, and expensive, we really didn’t need to hear about all the minutiae of moving, house planning, and furniture purchasing. Especially at the most exciting time of John’s political career, the detailed discussion of moving, while historically accurate, dragged down the flow. Additionally, Withey had an annoying habit of letting smug, 20th century disdain bleed into her history, specifically about Abigail’s faith and understanding (admittedly conflicted) of femininity. She was dismissive (the tone seemed to say: “Oh well, we’re so much more advanced now, but we shouldn’t be too harsh on her for being so backward…after all, those were the times”) of a large aspect of Abigail’s life, which I find disappointing in a historian.
Generally, though, this was an excellent, readable biography that wonderfully illuminated her John Adams’s “Dearest Friend” and Abigail’s legacy as both a woman and an American.
Withey often allows Abigail’s words to speak for themselves. Almost all her sources come directly from letters, from the Adams Society as well as those to Abigail’s family and friends. Apparently, Abigail encouraged her correspondents to burn her letters—history is beyond grateful that many apparently disregarded her request! It is through her letters that Abigail both reveals the innermost workings of her mind as well as the illusions she harbored about herself. Abigail praised her daughter and granddaughter for being mild-mannered and gentle, but she herself was unswervingly strong-willed and passionate. While John Adams is often considered a revolutionary, Abigail herself was more liberal and extreme than her husband. She was a woman who loved deeply (if sometimes consumingly, as seen by the way she tried to control her adult children’s lives). She was a fascinating, intelligent woman who was both ahead of her time and part of it.
Withey’s skills as a biographer are at their peak when portraying the years of separation between Abigail and her husband. For ten years of their marriage, John and Abigail were apart more often than they were together, and Withey makes us feel Abigail’s suffering from their prolonged separation, as well as understand how those separations changed them as a couple and as individuals. It’s one thing to read about Abigail and John’s time apart—it’s quite another to make her readers sympathize and understand the extent of what they sacrificed for the sake of their fledgling country.
I did not enjoy some aspects of Withey’s biography, however. While moving and transportation was a very large part of the Adams’ lives (between his work as a lawyer, an ambassador, vice president, and president they were frequently on the move) in a time period in which moving was uncommon, difficult, and expensive, we really didn’t need to hear about all the minutiae of moving, house planning, and furniture purchasing. Especially at the most exciting time of John’s political career, the detailed discussion of moving, while historically accurate, dragged down the flow. Additionally, Withey had an annoying habit of letting smug, 20th century disdain bleed into her history, specifically about Abigail’s faith and understanding (admittedly conflicted) of femininity. She was dismissive (the tone seemed to say: “Oh well, we’re so much more advanced now, but we shouldn’t be too harsh on her for being so backward…after all, those were the times”) of a large aspect of Abigail’s life, which I find disappointing in a historian.
Generally, though, this was an excellent, readable biography that wonderfully illuminated her John Adams’s “Dearest Friend” and Abigail’s legacy as both a woman and an American.
March 14, 2018
I was not expecting such a well-written book. Ms. Withey appears to have digested the letters Abigail Adams wrote her friends and family throughout her life and presented her life during Colonial times into the 1800s. I came away with a higher appreciation of what our country went through for independence and what life was like for those who lived through it.
March 9, 2018
This was more like a 3.5 for me. It would have been a solid 4 except for the fact that there were times I felt like the author was writing for middle schoolers and repeating key concepts over and over and over again. This isn't always a bad thing... the book read more like a novel than a biography, but the repetition did get old. I am keeping this book so that my daughter can read it. She very much likes historical fiction so I think she will enjoy this.
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