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The Loch Ness Monster
My plans didn’t include sexy time with the Loch Ness Monster. But maybe they should have…
My fiancé turned our wedding into a viral sensation for all the wrong reasons.
At the time, I didn’t know anyone was filming it. But millions of people saw me getting jilted at the altar.
So, going on my honeymoon trip to Scotland was an even better idea than I’d initially thought. Being able to quietly fall apart in a boat in the middle of a peaceful loch, far from the chaos my ex created, was a blessing.
I didn’t know my pain would summon a monster. Or that he’d use every dirty tactic at his disposal to cheer me up.
But he did.
Nestor showed me just how fine the line is between hot, erotic fantasy and happily ever after. He wants me to stay with him forever. But my life, my real life, is far from his loch.
Now, I’ve got a monster-sized decision to make. And when all is said and done, hopefully no one will end up broken hearted.
Especially me…
My fiancé turned our wedding into a viral sensation for all the wrong reasons.
At the time, I didn’t know anyone was filming it. But millions of people saw me getting jilted at the altar.
So, going on my honeymoon trip to Scotland was an even better idea than I’d initially thought. Being able to quietly fall apart in a boat in the middle of a peaceful loch, far from the chaos my ex created, was a blessing.
I didn’t know my pain would summon a monster. Or that he’d use every dirty tactic at his disposal to cheer me up.
But he did.
Nestor showed me just how fine the line is between hot, erotic fantasy and happily ever after. He wants me to stay with him forever. But my life, my real life, is far from his loch.
Now, I’ve got a monster-sized decision to make. And when all is said and done, hopefully no one will end up broken hearted.
Especially me…
194 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 23, 2023
96 people are currently reading
674 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 215 reviews
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June 25, 2023IS THAT THE MALE LEAD ON THE COVER ???
July 25, 2023
I firstly want to say how much I hate the Goodreads app. It keeps deleting my reviews and closing the app every few minutes. So take two here...this was some high quality smut. Lexi, our leading lady, is embarrassed by her scumbag fiancé, Colin, on their wedding day. Much like Carrie Bradshaw in the first Sex in the City film, she decides to go on her honeymoon anyway. Little does she know that a horned up, shapeshifting Loch Ness monster would trick her into giving him a handy. And did any of you know that Nessie has four gallons of goo in each testicle? So we follow Nestor (AKA Nessie) as he fulfills the gaping void in Lexi's life, railroading her in several different forms. She screams, he creams, they all scream for ice cream. You'll finish this any never want to eat rice pudding again. But you will have a newfound respond for Nessie, who is an absolute savage in the bedroom. There is a decent subplot within, but the author kept the attention where it needed to be. Tons of sex, some hilarious dialogue, and even Nessie spunk that ferments into wine somehow, too. There's not a whole lot to dislike here. Great stuff by Siggy Shade.
July 23, 2023
Siggy has done it again. And by “it” I mean committed a crime worthy of the worst punishment the universe can possibly come up with.
October 29, 2023
I am belly-laughing uncontrollably as I write this review.
I thought I had read wild, bonkers romances before but this. This was so special.
1) Nessie's a shapeshifting creature named Nestor who introduces himself to protag Lexi as...the lamp from Aladdin? and his true form is described as literally a cartoon looking plesiosaur lmao
2) Nestor has otter minions that do his bidding
3) When nestor comes, it's a huge fountain that levitates Lexi to the ceiling like a fire hydrant [sobbing laughing]
4) they get married at the end after knowing each other four weeks, and after Nestor vanquished the villains of the story by spiking their tea with his cum, which caused them to break out in magical warts
5) i love siggy shade
I thought I had read wild, bonkers romances before but this. This was so special.
1) Nessie's a shapeshifting creature named Nestor who introduces himself to protag Lexi as...the lamp from Aladdin? and his true form is described as literally a cartoon looking plesiosaur lmao
2) Nestor has otter minions that do his bidding
3) When nestor comes, it's a huge fountain that levitates Lexi to the ceiling like a fire hydrant [sobbing laughing]
4) they get married at the end after knowing each other four weeks, and after Nestor vanquished the villains of the story by spiking their tea with his cum, which caused them to break out in magical warts
5) i love siggy shade
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2023
At this point I read siggy to see how weird it can get.
November 4, 2023
These stories are getting weirder with every book.
All I can say is that Siggy Shade seems to be an author with unparalleled imagination.
All I can say is that Siggy Shade seems to be an author with unparalleled imagination.
October 27, 2023
So I have a few things to say about this book. First of all, reading this book with the image of the cover in head was hilarious. Second, the fermentation process made me glad I don’t drink wine. Finally, I will never set foot in that country.
June 6, 2023
honestly a beautiful romance story.
i will voulenteer as tribute. 😫💦
i will voulenteer as tribute. 😫💦
September 25, 2023
siggy shade is single-handedly handling rule 34 for smut
i don't know if i have the right words to describe this book but i didn't expect that level of romance
i don't know if i have the right words to describe this book but i didn't expect that level of romance
January 25, 2024
The Shape of Water found dead.
September 9, 2025
Do NOT let this woman near an aquarium
June 16, 2025
Consider my flabbers, gasted.
August 9, 2023
What I liked? The ridiculous cover, the dialogue for the most part, when the B&B advertised itself, the "reveal" at the end that wasn't really a reveal if you were paying attention to the story.
What I didn't like? The ridiculousness of the sex scenes and over the top "shape shifting" and the STD shaming mixed with magic/science or whatever you call it.
I've never even read any romance/fiction novel that deals with sexually transmitted diseases/infections in the aspect of it taking sort of center stage in the book and then in the end the culprits are tricked into aggravating it. Imagine if someone wrote a HIV infected character, then proceeds to aggravate their symptoms then shame them in the book. This aspect wasn't handled well.
I get bringing stories into the here and now in terms of like saying I wish my ex got the clap or something like that, but in the instances such aspects are written into the story, it is usually more of "Ooh, he got the clap. Laughs maniacally. Main character moves on with her life." Not oh, he gave me HPV, there was tension over the test results then to get back at them let their warts grow in public to shame them.
What I didn't like? The ridiculousness of the sex scenes and over the top "shape shifting" and the STD shaming mixed with magic/science or whatever you call it.
I've never even read any romance/fiction novel that deals with sexually transmitted diseases/infections in the aspect of it taking sort of center stage in the book and then in the end the culprits are tricked into aggravating it. Imagine if someone wrote a HIV infected character, then proceeds to aggravate their symptoms then shame them in the book. This aspect wasn't handled well.
I get bringing stories into the here and now in terms of like saying I wish my ex got the clap or something like that, but in the instances such aspects are written into the story, it is usually more of "Ooh, he got the clap. Laughs maniacally. Main character moves on with her life." Not oh, he gave me HPV, there was tension over the test results then to get back at them let their warts grow in public to shame them.
July 13, 2023
This author never fails at writing an entertaining book. I love how she takes old legends and rewrites the story. This book starts out sad for the FMC but ends in a hilarious and steamy ride to her hea. Love how everyone gets exactly what they deserve in the end. Great book.
January 8, 2025
Loch Ness Monster by Siggy Shade Review.
Reviews contains minor spoilers.
This was a nice quick read with humour, new beginnings and very interesting spice.
Lexi is stood up on her wedding day by her fiancé who told her his reasoning behind it was that he got “cold feet.”
So she takes off to Scotland for her honeymoon with her so called friend who is really a backstabber.
While out on the Loch she discovers something interesting.. or rather, someone.
Nestor and Lexi have a fiery connection and explore each other while learning each others stories.
This book was pretty good and is definitely out of the ordinary. We have a shapeshifting Loch Ness Monster, twists and turns and a happily ever after ending.
“I wanted you from the moment you arrived in town all alone.” “Really?” I whisper. “Nobody could resist a heart as big as yours.” “Even if it was broken?” “Even when shattered into tiny pieces, I would put them together and make you mine.” The tears I’d been trying to push back slide down my cheek. Nestor lifts a webbed finger and brushes one away. “Let me love you,” he says.
4/5 Stars!
Reviews contains minor spoilers.
This was a nice quick read with humour, new beginnings and very interesting spice.
Lexi is stood up on her wedding day by her fiancé who told her his reasoning behind it was that he got “cold feet.”
So she takes off to Scotland for her honeymoon with her so called friend who is really a backstabber.
While out on the Loch she discovers something interesting.. or rather, someone.
Nestor and Lexi have a fiery connection and explore each other while learning each others stories.
This book was pretty good and is definitely out of the ordinary. We have a shapeshifting Loch Ness Monster, twists and turns and a happily ever after ending.
“I wanted you from the moment you arrived in town all alone.” “Really?” I whisper. “Nobody could resist a heart as big as yours.” “Even if it was broken?” “Even when shattered into tiny pieces, I would put them together and make you mine.” The tears I’d been trying to push back slide down my cheek. Nestor lifts a webbed finger and brushes one away. “Let me love you,” he says.
4/5 Stars!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2025
Was this book unhinged-yes? Did I eat it up-heck yeah! There were several things in this book that tickled my fancy and it was perfect to cure my little reading slump! To be in the mind of Siggy Shade!
July 30, 2023
SIGGY SHADE ARTIK ALLAH BELANI VERSİN BE KADIN! Yeter nolur yalvarıyorum kitap yazmayı bırak nolurrrrrrrrrrrrr
O kadar kötüydü ki… Aynı anda tansiyonum düştü, kalp krizi geçirdim, beyin kanaması geçirdim. Midem bulandı gerçekten kusacaktım…
O kadar kötüydü ki… Aynı anda tansiyonum düştü, kalp krizi geçirdim, beyin kanaması geçirdim. Midem bulandı gerçekten kusacaktım…
August 14, 2023
Ohhh… the Loch Ness Monster’s humps are it’s testicles… of course!
January 13, 2024
DNF at 64%
It was funny, but like a joke told over and over, it got old and tired. Would have been better were it short and to the point.
It was funny, but like a joke told over and over, it got old and tired. Would have been better were it short and to the point.
February 11, 2025
Honestly… kinda fun, kinda hot, kinda stupid. Quick and entertaining!
July 10, 2025
3.5 stars!!
Wtf did I just listen to🤣🤣🤣
Wtf did I just listen to🤣🤣🤣
November 2, 2025
Yeah…Siggy Shade is officially banned from my household.
August 21, 2023
I've never imagined the Loch Ness Monster as a sexy beast, but hey, everybody has their own kink.
January 9, 2025
I don't know what I just read, but I'm not mad about it.
May 24, 2025
LOLLLL
October 8, 2023
The best thing I’ve ever read, it really moved me and honestly still think about it to this day. The best book I’ve read 🙈🕺😼😋🦭☺️
August 13, 2025
This was a hoot and a half, the taste bud suckers were a bit much tbh
October 23, 2023
this was an odd time i must admit curiosity will kill the cat one day
October 18, 2023
The 3 stars are purely for the cover, that is the funniest and most insane cover for a book I’ve seen. Siggy shade strikes again.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 215 reviews