Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes

by Aurisha Smolarski Ma, Hunter Clarke-Fields (Foreword)

Discover how attachment theory can help you better understand yourself and your ex, improve your co-parenting skills, and raise happy, emotionally secure kids! If you're like most parents, you want--more than anything--for your child to feel safe, loved, and confident that their needs will be met. However, this can be difficult when you're sharing custody with an ex. Instead of working together, you may feel at war with one another, and in the end, nobody wins--especially your child. So, how can you ensure that you and your ex are on the same page when it comes to co-parenting? With this unique and highly practical guide, you'll learn the science of attachment theory, and how to apply it to your co-parenting relationship. Secure attachment refers to the bond between a parent and young child, which gives that child a stable and secure basis from which to negotiate life going forward. A child with a secure base can weather the storms of trauma and life changes --such as those caused by divorce--much more easily than a child who doesn't. Co-parents who understand this principle have a significant advantage, because they can learn how to provide secure attachment for their child, even while no longer living under the same roof. You'll learn the "principles of engagement" for successful Co-parenting is often difficult, and sometimes it can feel like a battle. But it doesn't have to be this way. Using the insight and wisdom in this guide, you'll learn how to build a solid and supportive co-parenting team. And the real winner will be your kid!

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Childrens

192 pages, Paperback

Published January 2, 2024

Reviews

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a great read. the author gave lots of scenarios and specific examples on how to navigate difficult conversations with a co-parent and child. very accessible information.

[Despina Mavridou · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that this book is a must-read for parents who are struggling to find a balance with their ex and seeking a new way to communicate. Aurisha comprehensively understands all the stages of divorce, and she incorporates her personal experience, giving a unique touch to this book that makes it enlightening deep and explanatory. As a child of separated parents who was caught in the middle of their conflicts for many years, I consider this book essential. It elucidates all the stages and emotions of divorce, providing practical examples that vividly illustrate the challenges. Parents can grasp how these difficulties may impact their children.
I particularly appreciated the six-step decision-making process, which is very helpful for navigating discussions and decisions that parents need to make. Additionally, the concept of creating a common vision after the divorce is enlightening. The steps are not easy, but the author discusses potential challenges, making it a practical and helpful guide that outlines exactly what to do.
In the end, it is up to the parents to decide if they will make the effort, but as the author emphasizes at some point, 'Your kid moves to the top of the triangle, and you two parents become the supporting base, working together in two households to achieve a win-win. As your team effort flows up to your kid, and you commit to prioritizing their needs, a win-win-win becomes possible.

[Neil Heims · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neil Heims

March 7, 2024
I have read this book, and I highly recommend it. I am propbably not the audience for which the book was written since I am an octogenarian with lovely grown children. I am, however a child of divorce and know the emotional turmoil of living with parents unable to cooperate with each other. I also know the mistakes I made as a parent in a coparenting situation, and I appreciate all the insights and exercises Aurisha Smolarski provides in this book. An additional plus: the book is written with clarity, warmth, understanding, and gracefulness. Highly Recommended, especially for co-parents looking to lighten the burden of co-parenting with an ex.

[Neil Heims · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this book, and I highly recommend it. I am propbably not the audience for which the book was written since I am an octogenarian with lovely grown children. I am, however a child of divorce and know the emotional turmoil of living with parents unable to cooperate with each other. I also know the mistakes I made as a parent in a coparenting situation, and I appreciate all the insights and exercises Aurisha Smolarski provides in this book. An additional plus: the book is written with clarity, warmth, understanding, and gracefulness. Highly Recommended, especially for co-parents looking to lighten the burden of co-parenting with an ex.