Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens for Christ in a Secular Age

by Melissa B. Kruger

Raise Your Teens on a Rock-Solid Foundation

As children mature, it’s important for parents to prepare for the unique changes and challenges of adolescence. With so many cultural pressures and influences vying for teens’ attention, parents need a secure foundation for creating an environment where faith can flourish.

Parenting with Hope invites you to anchor your hopes and expectations in Christ—the true source of wisdom, strength, contentment, and fruitful parenting. Integrating sound biblical teaching, insights from developmental experts, and her own experiences as a teacher and mother, Melissa Kruger will wisely guide you through today’s most common concerns. Emphasizing principles over prescriptions, Melissa will help you to understand how you can build up and bless your teens in God-honoring ways.

When you recognize God as the ultimate parent, you'll begin to truly understand that he is presently at work in the hearts of both parents and teens. This encouraging and practical guide will equip you with the wisdom to cultivate a Christ-centered household, passing on a legacy of faithfulness to your teenage children.

Genres: Parenting, Audiobook, Christian Living, Christian, Nonfiction, Family, Theology

240 pages, Hardcover

Published April 2, 2024

About the author

Melissa Kruger teaches women at Uptown Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and at conferences around the country. She regularly writes articles for the Gospel Coalition and Christianity.com, and she is the author of The Envy of Eve. Melissa’s most cherished roles include being a wife to Mike, president of Reformed Theological Seminary–Charlotte, and a mother to her three children, Emma, John, and Kate.

Reviews

[Susy C. *MotherLambReads* · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always say I have a favorite parenting book and everyone must read it. Yet this is my new favorite parenting book and I am saying everyone please read it.

It was such a balanced looked at all the ages of parenting. Lots and lots of grace. I feel like the author is coming from an appraoch that so many of us need. Authoritative and legalistic backgrounds lead to things we were never taught or allowed to talk through situations. We were taught just to do because that's what the church taught or other Christian did.

Now as a teen parent we try to talk talk talk and build loving and safe places where our teens can question and grow and learn. This book was a refreshing and balanced look at what our kids need now during this era!

It's a book for parents with teens and older kids now. It's a book for parents with babies. It's a book for future parents. It's a book giving grace to mistakes made in the past. It's a book giving knowledge to do better now!


💬 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵:𝘩𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘴://𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮/𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴/

[Beverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great blend of spiritual/biblical wisdom and practical advice!
I will always remember her story of backing into the garage as a teenager and how her parents reacted.

[Jennifer Squire]

This was such a hopeful and encouraging read. An older mom to a younger mom, but she wrote it all day in an organized and thoughtful way. She gets to the heart with idolatry, encourages wisdom, and plenty of reminders that “love covers a multitude of sins”. I’m sure I’ll return to this plenty of times in the next many years of teens ❤️

* not a mom book or geared toward women specifically

[Lia Ross Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely amazing! If you are a parent of teens or parent in general you will love this. My little one is preschool age, but I still gleaned so much as I know that season is coming.

It is well-written, flows so seamlessly. It is conversational, practical and encouraging. Melissa has such a warmth to her writing style with real life examples and scripture references. Books like these is why I love Christian nonfiction. Life is hard and having someone who goes before us to pass on wisdom is so beneficial to help on the journey.

If I am honest, parenting books sometimes scare me. Some that I have encountered leave you feeling more burdened and hopeless than hopeful, but this book is the complete opposite. I think the title fits it so perfectly. “Parenting with Hope” is definitely what Melissa encourages the reader to do, to be hopeful and cling to Christ as they raise teens. I never once felt like she was giving a list of to-do’s. It was so refreshing!

There is a study guide that goes along with the book if you wanted to read with a group of friends or parents in your church. This book is excellent and will bless parents for years to come. I highly recommend it! My favorite read of 2024 so far.

[Natalie Herr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wise words for parents of tweens and teens. Kruger is humble and not prescriptive, but gives plenty of practical helps that are based around biblical principles. One of the most valuable takeaways for me is to focus more on my own character, responses and life with the Lord than I do on the particular behaviors of my teens. I also loved the section on fostering warmth and connection in our homes.

[Tamara Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best parenting book I’ve ever read. You don’t have to have teens to read it, read it now even if your children are babies.
She shares so much scripture, reminds me over and over of what Jesus did for me, and constantly brings me back to the condition of my own heart and mind.

[Parker Goforth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another I’d give a 4.8 to, based on some primarily one-sided approaches to schooling and a few odd examples/recommendations. But, overall a fantastic and Christ-centered parenting resource for navigating the teen years

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a solid resource for parenting teens. I really do close the book with a more sturdy hope in Jesus, His Word and His work in my teens and my own heart. For me specifically, I am walking away wanting my home to be a place of warmth for them, not a culture of my too-often critical spirit, though there are times to correct. Anyone reading this is welcome to pray for me to that end!💙😊

“We parent with hope not because everything is easy or understandable. We parent with hope because God is at work in everything that is happening. Our teens are at the beginning of their faith journey. These years are just part of the story. We don’t know how all the twists and turns will come together. But we are profoundly blessed to get to be along for the ride. I encourage you: be thankful for these years. There are so many good moments to enjoy.”

I also loved how she constantly points readers to asking counsel in their local church.

[Missy Horner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! Thought it was super grounded, but practical. Specifically thought the chapters on cultural idols of scholarship/affluence, sports and activities, and social acceptance were well done.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

We have a 21-month-old and are pregnant with our second baby, so the teen years seem pretty distant, but I know they’ll be here before we know it. I joined the launch team for this book thinking that maybe, in the same way thinking on eternity helps us live more dependent on Christ now, that thinking about parenting in the teenage years will help me to better parent now.

I am so grateful I didn’t wait until I had teenagers to read this. There are so many parental and family rhythms and habits that can (and should) be established now to help prepare for the days and years ahead and Melissa humbly and wisely dives into some of the most important ones.

This book is gracious and practical, full of gospel-y goodness that will help lead parents—at any stage—to the only sufficient Parent.

Highly recommend, especially for my friends with children yet to enter the teen years, as it tenderly offers truth and winsome counsel to help our own hearts to kill sin and rejoice in Christ and our brains to form neural patterns now to help us then.

[Lindsey Schubert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this book more than 5 stars if I could. It is gentle, practical, hopeful, and gospel-centered. It reminded me over and over to look inward (self-examination) and to look up to the hope God offers. Highly recommend.

[Erin Ching · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was good gospel encouragement for any stage of parenting, but with some particularly good encouragements as you get into the adolescent and teen years.

[Anna |This Curly Girl Reads| · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Audiobook) RTC

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this before they are teens!!!! and then again... and again

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melissa’s words of wisdom are helping me lay down idols and trust the Lord—really trust Him, with that which is most precious to me. A very timely read for me!

[Joanna Jennings · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great book with lots of really great thoughts, ideas, and strategies for parenting teens. I strongly disagree with her about allowing teens to attend a different church from the rest of the family. I’m a pastor‘s wife who believes the family should attend church together. If a teen doesn’t want to attend church then conversations need to be had and problems need to be addressed. Church attendance like curfew is a non-negotiable. The teen years are very formative, and the teen may learn what kind of church he/she doesn’t want to attend, but we ought to be training our teens to be contributors towards solving problems, not just running from them. Our teens need to be the kind of friend they want rather than just gravitating to other churches where their friends attend. The consumerist mentality of church attendance is troubling and depressing. Why do we go to church anyway? For us or for God?

Obviously, she hit a nerve with me on this subject. I hate that I can’t really recommend it to my church members. The rest of the book was really good and challenging, and I needed to hear it. It will be interesting to see if I change my opinion as my teens grow older.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! It was helpful and timely for me and I would highly recommend for any parent of teenagers.

Some favorite quotes:

“My inability to get everything done on my own was actually a blessing to my kids (in reference to working full time). My limitations allowed them to rise to the occasion.”

“Kids who learn early in life that they are able to master activities that at first feel a little stressful grow up better able to handle stress of all kinds.”

“We love others best when we love God first”.

“Each person accepts the others just because they are part of the family, not bc they are perfect.”

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m really hoping that my Cstone Mom Group will like this book as much as I did. I truly highlighted something on likely every page!! It was filled with biblical and practical truth and she is such a humble mentor in sharing what she has experienced in her own home growing up and how she raised her own kids. It’s a huge privilege to have it all compiled in this book to read over and over (which of all parenting books I’ve read over the years there are only a few I’d crack into again). I love it!

[Will Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I will certainly be revisiting when my kids hit the teen years. I will be highly recommending it to the parents in my student ministry because it is a gospel-rich guide to parenting for imperfect parents with imperfect teens. I’ve already been applying the roots of this in my parenting of younger kids. I know it will be a valuable tool as they grow into teens.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book- filled to the brim with practical advice and just as title says hope for all of us through life's parenting challenges, with biblical references throughout to equip us for the journey of parenting teens!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was soooooo good! I love the grace based approach to parenting and hopeful messages along with sound parenting advice. The content was so encouraging and edifying and I simply wish there was more! I will definitley be checking out her other books too. Highly recommend this!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most formative books I’ve read on parenting. It’s obviously geared toward raising teens, but I found much of it to just be solid, godly guidance for parenting in general. I listened to the audio version, but I’m definitely going to buy a hard copy so that I can re-read and highlight. It would be a great resource to discuss together in a small group as well.

[Amy Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars Audiobook Great points about parenting in general. My oldest is 13 at the time I am listening to this so it will be interesting to take this information forward with me and also to see if my opinion changes in a few years.

[Natalie Millican · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was recommended by an author I like, and it’s been on my list for a while. I didn’t realise it was about parenting teens (lol), but I think it was super helpful as we think about what we want our family rhythms to be even from early childhood. I also think it’s helpful for us as we do work with youth in the area. Such a great book that doesn’t give as much of a “how to” but a “who to” look to - Jesus.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t realize this book was geared more toward parenting teenagers when I picked it up but I still found it helpful and encouraging in my parenting.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the wisdom, grace, and gospel focus in this book and would recommend to parents not only of teens but of younger kids as well and to those who work with teens.

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful book on parenting teenagers. Good combination of Bible and practical. Consistently encourages parents to examine their own hearts as step one. A little bit long. Recommended.

[Mandi Navarre Eschenbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

My oldest just entered the teen years. It has been the most humbling experience and balancing act of letting go of control but still protecting my child. Our teens are navigating a world we never had to.

Melissa guides us through 3 important factors including the basics, the battles, and the blessings. Each factor helps parents think biblically, engage gracefully, and gives practical advice to live wisely.

As parents, it’s important to spend time in God’s Word and lead by example with high levels of warmth and affection.

Prayer is another important tool Jesus taught us to use to pour out our hearts to God. It brings us both peace and God’s wisdom. And prayer teaches our teens they can always go to God, even when we aren’t there.

Being part of a church provides a wealth of resources for us and our families. It’s a blessing to put ourselves in a place that we and our teens can grow together, as well as, serve and love others.

Melissa reminds parents that their children’s worth is not based on worldly attainment and success. We can take the pressure off our teens by creating healthy rhythms in our homes, not getting too overly involved, and allowing them to make mistakes and experience the consequences. But also be helpful and encouraging.

When our kids fail, it’s not just a situation to deal with or a problem to solve. It’s an opportunity to teach our children about God’s grace in a powerful way. Our teens are going to mess up because they are not perfect. How we respond matters.

God is present in every battle we face with our teens. He will never leave us and will provide for us what we need for today.

Without a doubt, this book has reminded me that that the teenage years aren’t hopeless. Melissa helped me identify the idol in my life that I didn’t even recognize that was affecting my parenting. I’m so grateful for all I learned through “Parenting with Hope” and I know it will be a blessing to other parents as well.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took forever to read this book but I really like the last third of it.

[Catherine Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great book on parenting. I needed this refresher and encouragement. I liked how the book was broken up into different parts. It was broken down in a way that could be easily understood. The way she shared the general principles, and offered application to those principles was helpful, while at the same time, reminding me that there is grace even in this. I liked the snippets that she shared from her teenagers. That was helpful. I think the biggest thing that I will walk away with from reading this book is the importance of modeling to our children how important it is to be a part of the body of believers, the importance of prayer in our everyday lives, and how meditating and dwelling on the word of God is vital to our lives. Toward the end of this book we are reminded that we can’t love people well, if we don’t love God the best, and that hit home for me.