I Was #87: A Deaf Woman's Ordeal of Misdiagnosis, Institutionalization, and Abuse

by Anne M. Bolander, Adair N. Renning

In relating the story of how she was misdiagnosed as retarded rather than deaf and mistreated at home and at an institution, a longtime employee of General Motors "I sincerely hope that this book will help other children with as-yet undiagnosed hearing problems be spared the horrors I experienced." The co-author has written about her autistic child. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Disability

184 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 1995

Reviews

[Hannah CF · Rating 5 out of 5]

My copy was checked out from the local library. Imagine my surprise when it was a signed copy with a note from the author. Imagine even more surprise when she starts mentioning the city where I was born and live in, and places that I recognize and go to all the time. It was an eerie feeling. The story itself was powerful in its painful honesty, and clearly it is a tale that needs to be told. Too many people are ignorant about society's horrific, gut-wrenching track record with regard to disabled people. This wasn't even that long ago. The author is my parents' age. This is a very hard book to read, but everyone needs to read it. I'm sure a lot of what the author said about feeling excluded from society and her family would ring true with many a HOH or Deaf person, based on conversations with Deaf/HOH friends and family members. She is a warrior. She is a survivor. EVERYONE. SHOULD. READ. THIS. BOOK.

[Sarah Rigg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir tells the real story of Anne Bolander, who was misdiagnosed as retarded when she was actually deaf. She endures heart-breaking abuse both at a privately-run home and from her birth family. She experiences small kindnesses from her grandmother and from the nuns at another home where she is correctly diagnosed as deaf. But her family continues to treat her as if she's retarded, and she experiences horrific abuse and neglect at their hands.

She finally gets a job and makes enough money to get a car and move out on her own, only to be repeatedly taken advantage of by a series of "friends" who use her for her home and her money. Anne is so starved for love and friendship that she loses apartments, cars, and over $80,000 in cash to various "friends" who take advantage of her.

By the end of the book, she's still a damaged person, but she makes some real friends, finds a good therapist, and a woman (her co-author) who helps her tell her life story.

I've had this book on my "to read" list for a while and put it off because I expected it to be depressing, considering the subject matter. But while this first-person narrative does contain very sad and difficult themes, Anne's voice will pull you along and make you want to know what happens next. If you're anything like me, you'll be holding your breath, waiting for her luck to change and for something good to happen to her. It was hard to put down, and I finished it in 3 days.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anne Bolander's story about growing up hard of hearing while everyone thought she was mentally disabled. She's sent away at a young age to an institution that is nothing but abuse and neglect. When she comes home, more abuse. It's a very depressing and disturbing story.

As I was reading, I was compelled to keep reading, as I waited for someone to rescue her and give the book a happy ending. Well, there's some of that, but not nearly soon enough.

I realize there's a whole genre of books like this and I just wonder how anyone can want to read more than one of them.

It's important that people's stories like this get told. But why are some people so.. _eager_ to listen?

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book probably 8-10 years ago, but it was a very vivid story and I still remember it. This book opened my eyes to just how many evil people there are who will brutally take advantage of a weaker person. It wasn't just Margie and the other people at the "school," but her father, stepmother, coworkers at the factory, etc. and it continued long after Anne became an adult. If you see someone being abused or taken advantage of, help them. They need you. Don't just stand by; DO SOMETHING to stop the injustice! I'm sad to see this book is out of print, but I hope it will continue to be available through libraries for years to come.

[Tonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

An account of the most unimagineable, unspeakable, treatment of this woman as a young child, teen, and adult. I am deeply saddened and moved by her plight, by the difficulties she was forced to endure and the life she has lived. A must read. You will truly take a walk in Ms. Bolander's shoes and your heart will be stirred with unwavering compassion.

[Jessica]

I probably read this book in 2000 when it came out. I was around 12 and would often pluck books from the 'new' shelf at my local library. I still remember some of the lines of this book after all this time. It's bleak and has some adult content I was too young for. But I still really recommend this book.

[Johnny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't really sure how to review this book. The writing and storytelling is pretty good, which is why I gave it 4 stars. However, the sheer fact that she had to go through all of these experiences is horrifying. I strongly recommend reading this book because it's really important to know that these kinds of experiences did happen to people with disabilities in the relatively recent past.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remarkable, heart-breaking story that is exactly as the title promises: "A Deaf Woman's Ordeal of Misdiagnosis, Institutionalization, and Abuse." Despite the years of beatings and emotional abuse that Anne endured, her will and her spirit remain.

[Branchsuper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Autobiography by a deaf woman who was institutionalized as a mentally handicapped child by a family who refused to acknowledge her deafness, and endured years of abuse in a terrible place. Unable to put it down until I finished it.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew Anne from some classes in college. A funny, very kind woman. Honored to read this book while knowing her.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond heartbreaking. I'm glad Anne found a measure of peace, but the fact she endured that childhood ( and survived ) is incredible. I hope she is happy and loved.

[Kiki · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this was originally written as a journal, it was reorganized and edited well. It still feels like you are talking with her, though. The weight of this book is beyond what a horror movie could portray, but it's worth the eye-opening read. The trigger warnings are in the title. Read when you are in the right mental state to take in this type of information. Take breaks.

[Norah · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was just really heartbreaking

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first book I read to completion this year. It was very encouraging to me that I am not alone in this world and I can also escape patterns of abuse. I see a lot of the same patterns of being taken advantage of in my own life. I found this book both extremely encouraging and discouraging at the same time.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you kidding? This stuff really happens!?!? This book got me all stirred up with the injustice of the world today. But it also filled me with hope and wonder at the plights this woman has faced.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Harsh upbringing and terrible life of a woman diagnosed as mentally retarded, but who was actually just deaf.

[JB · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely not uplifting, but a quick-read and a sad story of a true-life experience

[Neeka27 · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most frustrating and depressing book but it is a story that needs to be told. I am completely heartbroken for her and ashamed at people's cruelty and taking advantage of others. :(

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

emotional read. very heavy and hard to read at times

[Andrea Elkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the most well-written book, but it kept me engaged. Knowing that the author lives near me made her story especially intriguing.

[Jennifer Sager · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who has grown up in Bridgewater, VA this is an astonishing read.

[Faith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well graphically written. I felt every hardship of Anne and waited anxiously for accomplishments.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really hard to read. Her traumatic experiences are heart-wrenching. I appreciate her sharing her story. It's amazing what she's been through and that she's come out on the other side.

[Allison Peck · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an emotional roller coaster from start to finish...not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

[Dianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! So sad and disturbing. She went through so much and remained a sweet person. A must read