We Have Always Lived in the Break Room

by Michael Allen Rose

Wahl’ter Dinsdale has been the master accountant for the tribe of the break-room for many seasons. He has secured the sacred vending machines against all attackers. He has skinned the mighty naugahyde sofa. He has mastered the art of the spreadsheet. But even he is not prepared when strange rumors reach the tribe of an unsettling phenomenon - a window, opened to another world outside the office.

Now, with his vicious administrative warrior Jo’see, and Bertram the Train-or, he sets out on a quest to find the source of the unrest. But Wahl’ter will have to make his way through all the tribes in the building first, from the HR wraiths to the sorcerers of marketing, and this office meeting will not end with cake and coffee, but with violence.

41 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 9, 2023

About the author

Michael Allen Rose is an award-winning writer, musician, editor and performance artist based in Chicago, Illinois. His stories have appeared in The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, Heavy Feather Review, and Tales From The Crust among other periodicals. He has published several books including Jurassichrist (Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing) which won the 2021 Wonderland Award for best bizarro novel, and The Last 5 Minutes of the Human Race, winner of best collection in bizarro fiction 2022. He is the host of the annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown at Bizarro Con in Oregon. Michael also releases industrial music under the name Flood Damage. He lives with an awesome cat named Dr. Light, and enjoys good tea. You can find more at www.michaelallenrose.com

Reviews

[Jim Marcus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very fun and hypnotic read that you really can't put down until it's finished. The stylized language never gets in the way of the story and really creates a huge number of opportunities for laughter, especially if you've spent ev en a day in the business world. And, high praise, it actually made me turn off my office lights, shut my computer, and go for a walk in the park, which was much needed. Definitely worth it.

[Trevor Oakley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Embarrassed myself loudly laughing while reading in a crowded restaurant. Enjoyed the whole experience. This damn book is fun!

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I both read this months ago and have talked about it several times since. It’s too absurd and (scarily) relatable to be forgettable. Recommend 100%

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this so much. Satirical novella giving corporate America a big middle finger. Perfections.

[David Meyers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting spin on office politics. Very true, though. Good read!