Bringing Up The Bones

by Lara Deloza

"Benji never really wanted to be my boyfriend, just my best friend, but I loved him from the first time I saw him and I didn't know how to stop." And now that Benji is dead, the victim of a senseless car accident, 18-year-old Bridget still can't stop loving him. She defers her first year of college, takes a dull waitressing job at an all-night diner, and sinks into her own special brand of misery, nicknamed The Hole (where "time does not exist" and "bathing is usually optional"). Her therapist, friends, and family all try to console her, but Bridget's depression is unrelenting. Then Jasper comes into her life. Jasper, who brings her sunflowers and notices important things like cool shoes, just might be Bridget's ticket out of The Hole. Yet, something still doesn't feel right. Slowly, Bridget realizes that the one person she never really tried to understand was "I've molded myself ... into the kind of person Benji might be persuaded to love because I was too scared to figure out who I really was." It's time for Bridget to become friends with herself, by herself--without Jasper, and maybe, finally, without Benji.

Genres: Young Adult, Teen, Fiction, Death, Romance

Paperback

First published October 8, 2002

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Post-high school and pre-college, Bridget mourns her best friend Benji, who died in a car crash following the pair's short-lived love affair. After a one night stand, Bridget’s fling with new guy Jasper morphs into a substantial relationship – but her emotional instability in the wake of Benji’s death puts the fledgling romance at risk.

I was intrigued from the start by the thesis that Benji had been a reluctant participant in the romance with Bridget. So many teen novels rely on a formula that climaxes with best friends realizing that they’ve been in love all along. Zeises puts a clever twist on the convention by examining what happens in the aftermath of an unrequited best friend break-up; Bridget’s concern that she coerced Benji into the romance is parsed as realistically as her unhealthily fervent love for him. Throwing a new boyfriend into the mix is an excellent device to expose the complicated mechanisms of grief, as Bridget struggles with feelings of disloyalty.

My only bone of contention is the book’s conclusion, when Bridget leaves Jasper in a decision that, to me, seemed frivolous. Though I support a storyline that affirms a young woman’s autonomy (rather than granting her happiness solely through romance), Bridget’s ultimate characterization of her relationship with Jasper ("Restaurants – we’ve spent half our relationship in restaurants") seemed dishonest and left me frustrated at the end of an otherwise frank, truthful novel.

[Eva-Marie Nevarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 for me! I have to note that I adore reading books that have places I know in them and this had so many of them. I wasn't aware that Zeises is from and living still in Delaware so it was a pleasant surprise for me. After the first two references to places in DE. (but that could have been other places also) I knew for sure and flipped to the 'about the author' part in the back and confirmed my suspicions.
Anyway, someone else mentioned the fact that this is different from most YA novels in the fact that the relationship between Benji and Bridget isn't all lovey and perfect. I picked up on that but didn't realize, until I read that comment, exactly how much that really made me like Bringing Up the Bones. That is a major part of why I like this book so much.
Most authors can pull off a perfect relationship between two people, because it's been done to death. This was different, from beginning to end, and that's what made it great. It was realistic.
I wouldn't be surprised in the least if Zeises went through a lot of what Bridget went through. If she hasn't she's very in tune with people and their feelings in general. I can't comment enough on how realistic this is.
I'm on my way to see what else there is by Zeises and I certainly hope she's still writing!

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. However, Bridget got to be sort of annoying, which made it hard to sympathize with her as the main character, and Jasper seemed almost a little too perfect. I was also disappointed with the way it ended. I didn't feel like that was necessary to get the point across. Other than that I enjoyed the story line and how everything played out. Gave us just enough back story at the right times to understand what was going on in the present.

[Allie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, until i got to about the last ten pages.
I was extremely upset about how it ended, and thought her breaking up with Jasper was an extremely stupid decision, and i threw my book down with anger when i finished it.

[Amanda Stallings · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted so much to like this book. I could sympathize with the protagonist and wanted to see her succeed. Instead I got a sad and slightly delusional one sided relationship to self-sabotaging a potentially good relationship to IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH she decides to work on herself. I was disappointed.

[Sam C · Rating 4 out of 5]

EDIT 6/10/15

So I bought this book again. I missed it. I also realized that when I first read this book, I was young and had never been in a serious relationship before. So I couldn't really relate.

Reading this book now that I'm 26 and have gone through handfuls of boys and men made me see how annoying Bridget is. But that I could relate. I've been through tough breakups, but nothing as final and as devastating as an ex dying.

I wanted her to snap out of the dark and deep pit she was digging for herself, but I look back and remember how idiotic I was, too.

Also, those questions that I didn't think were answered? Answers were right in my face the entire time. I was just too young to get it.

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I regret mooching this book away. I wish I kept it. It's one of my favorite YA novels because it doesn't pretend to be edgy and it doesn't end with a question mark.

Sure, it's not the best written book out there, but it's real. I wish the resolution of the relationship between Bridget and Jasper didn't pan out the way it did, but hey, not all seemingly-perfect relationships end in happily ever after. There are questions after the book, but not ones that left me upset and hanging.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

After the death of Benji, her best friend and boyfriend, Bridget takes a year off after high school. Mired in depression, her grief begins to lift after she becomes involved with Japer. Certain elements of this book didn't seem realistic-- uber-romantic Jasper, idealized Benji, evil mother Katharine-- but as the story moved along, I found a lot of poignancy-- Jasper had to be perfect, otherwise Bridget would have had an excuse not to be with him. Benji wasn't perfect, and it took time for Bridget to realize this. And in the last pages, it is revealed how her own mother had "obliterated all traces" of Bridget in her own room. Bridget finally finds the key in the last line-- "Or maybe I simply need to be."

[Cassie Journeay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
I had borrowed this book from the library years ago and let it build up a hefty fine, so I thought I might as well read it. It was honest, that's the only way to describe it. The writing left a lot to be desired, but the story flowed nicely. It would've been much better if more detail had been put into it, for having such a deeper meaning for the main character in everything that happened. Nothing special, wouldn't recommend it, wouldn't read it again, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

[laaaaames · Rating 3 out of 5]

A really well-done grief novel. I appreciated that it didn't stick to the paths already well-worn by this genre (if you can call it that), though I did sometimes question the believability of the Jasper relationship, as well as its ultimate conclusion.

Bridget's growth seemed really earned, which is one of those things I always really appreciate in this sort of story.

(read: 67)

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is was a very emotional and captivating book, but some of it's content was definitely made for more mature audiences ... The story it told was exciting and unique. The author did a great job retaining the characters and the story line completely. I would reccomend this book to anyone who enjoys more serious books and audiences over the age of 16.

[Elizabeth Lund]

The tone of this book made me envious. She created a lonely world nonetheless populated by fully-formed characters, and Bridget's life included plenty of videos and time spent getting dressed. Not sure about abrupt ending.

[elissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent first novel. About grief--very emotional. I read this on a tranatlantic flight returning from my uncle's funeral, and it was perfect at the time.

[Jerjonji · Rating 2 out of 5]

Delacorte winning first time writer novel for YA in 2002 and the grittiest one I've read so far- much closer to my own storytelling style than some of the others.

[Jada · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't like this book. I just couldn't relate to any of the characters.

[Katrina Knittle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book that will make you feel this characters grief. Bridget's growth throughout this book seemed really earned. A good book to read on a cold day.

[Kaki G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of those books I will never get tired of reading