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The Parrot Who Owns Me: The Story of a Relationship
Seventeen years ago, when she adopted a neglected, orphaned thirty-year-old parrot named Tiko, the internationally renowned ornithologist Joanna Burger entered one of the most complex relationships of her life. Sullen and hostile when he entered Dr. Burger’s home, Tiko gradually warmed up, courting her during mating season, nursing her vigilantly through a bout with Lyme disease, and for a while even fighting her husband for her attentions. In time theirs was a relationship of deep mutual trust.
The Parrot Who Owns Me is Joanna and Tiko’s story, as well as the story of the science of birds, and of parrots in particular. Woven into the narrative are insights and fascinating revelations from Dr. Burger’s work—not only about parrots, but also about what it means to be human.
The Parrot Who Owns Me is Joanna and Tiko’s story, as well as the story of the science of birds, and of parrots in particular. Woven into the narrative are insights and fascinating revelations from Dr. Burger’s work—not only about parrots, but also about what it means to be human.
253 pages, Paperback
First published July 3, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
November 23, 2019
Update: $1.99 kindle special today. It’s sooooo fascinating and engaging! M&M’s anyone? Don’t open a package in front of this parrot 🦜
I still own this book! You CAN'T have it! lol
I LOVE it!!!!!!!!
I can't believe I didn't write a review. I know why. I read this book in the year 2001. I didn't join Goodreads until 2007.
Joanna Burger is (was at the time I read this book) --the best-known ornithologists in the world.
Her little book --(its so cute) --and story about Tiko is the GREATEST story...
Where *B* --from the Providence of Sparrows enjoyed eating sugar cookies -- Tiko liked her M&M's.
Tiko was soooooooooooo SMART!
Actually: If I HAD to pick just ONE 'bird' book --(a literary coo memoir)...
This is my FIRST choice recommendation!
I love H is for Hawk ... (yet this is still my favorite)!
This one 'really' is hilarious...full of scientific information --that might either make you wishing (like me) to live with a parrot (Paul said NO WAY) ---
or never want to meet one in your life!
This book gives the best insights into the reality (with still a 'sane' 'human-lifestyle' --into domesticated bird behavior!
Funny-weird-wonderful!
I still own this book! You CAN'T have it! lol
I LOVE it!!!!!!!!
I can't believe I didn't write a review. I know why. I read this book in the year 2001. I didn't join Goodreads until 2007.
Joanna Burger is (was at the time I read this book) --the best-known ornithologists in the world.
Her little book --(its so cute) --and story about Tiko is the GREATEST story...
Where *B* --from the Providence of Sparrows enjoyed eating sugar cookies -- Tiko liked her M&M's.
Tiko was soooooooooooo SMART!
Actually: If I HAD to pick just ONE 'bird' book --(a literary coo memoir)...
This is my FIRST choice recommendation!
I love H is for Hawk ... (yet this is still my favorite)!
This one 'really' is hilarious...full of scientific information --that might either make you wishing (like me) to live with a parrot (Paul said NO WAY) ---
or never want to meet one in your life!
This book gives the best insights into the reality (with still a 'sane' 'human-lifestyle' --into domesticated bird behavior!
Funny-weird-wonderful!
Read
May 30, 2023I did not finish this book and it wouldn't be fair to rate it.
Ok, so... I never thought a book about a parrot would be disturbing.
Reading only 25 pages I was interested to learn what makes "parrots speak and repeat".
Beginning with the relationship between a parrot and his female ornithologist owner, I thought would be the segue. No. It went into signs and signals of how male parrots mate. Well evidently, the parrot is jealous of the husband. Quite a possessive bird, no?
The book began to get a little strange and intimate, as in TMI . Not what I was looking for.
On a positive note, Im sure there is plenty to learn, but
I just don't love birds as much as others do.
Ok, so... I never thought a book about a parrot would be disturbing.
Reading only 25 pages I was interested to learn what makes "parrots speak and repeat".
Beginning with the relationship between a parrot and his female ornithologist owner, I thought would be the segue. No. It went into signs and signals of how male parrots mate. Well evidently, the parrot is jealous of the husband. Quite a possessive bird, no?
The book began to get a little strange and intimate, as in TMI . Not what I was looking for.
On a positive note, Im sure there is plenty to learn, but
I just don't love birds as much as others do.
July 1, 2009
I read this book as part of my library’s summer reading program. It’s not normally a book I’d pick up, but turned out to be really interesting. An ornithologist at Rutgers, Burger writes about the volatile and loving relationship she has with her parrot Tiko. Like any good storyteller, she starts with a story about how Tiko courts her, building a nest under a credenza and then cooing to get her to put her hand in the nest, at which point he gives her affectionate nibbles. It’s a little gross and a little salacious, but a great way to start the book. The rest of the tale explains how she’s come to understand her relationship with Tiko and the experience of living with him. A few more thoughts:
* The book has some fantastic funny moments, with stories of Tiko’s behavior mixed into general science writing about bird behavior in general. Overall, it’s very well told and interesting.
* There are some grim moments as well, particularly in Burger’s often-sad stories about the birds who have passed away.
* I really liked her short discussion of how she’s come to see the anthropomorphizing of animals (a no-no in biological animal studies) as not only reasonable, but appropriate. She suggests that we’re just as wrong to argue that animals don’t have feelings as we are to argue that they do. She also says that it would be impossible to live with a bird like Tiko and not see him as having feelings.
* Because Tiko sees Burger as his pair-mate, Burger’s husband puts up with all sorts of indignities, getting pecked for simple things as affectionate tones of voice or, sometimes, reaching into the refrigerator. At one moment, she casually writes “of all the scars Tiko has given me.” I think I only have a couple scars on my whole body. Yikes.
* I did not know parrots can live for 50-70 years. She got him when he was 30. He might outlive her too. Yikes.
I really like the warning at the end of the book. She warns that it’s not possible to own a parrot. A dog, for sure. A cat, maybe. But anyone who lives with a parrot belongs to the parrot. It’s a little bit of warning along the lines of “don’t try this at home.”
* The book has some fantastic funny moments, with stories of Tiko’s behavior mixed into general science writing about bird behavior in general. Overall, it’s very well told and interesting.
* There are some grim moments as well, particularly in Burger’s often-sad stories about the birds who have passed away.
* I really liked her short discussion of how she’s come to see the anthropomorphizing of animals (a no-no in biological animal studies) as not only reasonable, but appropriate. She suggests that we’re just as wrong to argue that animals don’t have feelings as we are to argue that they do. She also says that it would be impossible to live with a bird like Tiko and not see him as having feelings.
* Because Tiko sees Burger as his pair-mate, Burger’s husband puts up with all sorts of indignities, getting pecked for simple things as affectionate tones of voice or, sometimes, reaching into the refrigerator. At one moment, she casually writes “of all the scars Tiko has given me.” I think I only have a couple scars on my whole body. Yikes.
* I did not know parrots can live for 50-70 years. She got him when he was 30. He might outlive her too. Yikes.
I really like the warning at the end of the book. She warns that it’s not possible to own a parrot. A dog, for sure. A cat, maybe. But anyone who lives with a parrot belongs to the parrot. It’s a little bit of warning along the lines of “don’t try this at home.”
September 1, 2014
Very weird little book that I read long ago. Sort of creepy because of the sexual attitude she has toward her parrot. Plus she lets the parrot be mean to her husband. Amazon reviews from irate parrot owners say she's abusive to parrots. The book would certainly be fun to discuss. Should reread it to see what I think of it now.
August 28, 2007
This is probably one of my all-time favorite books. I'm a sucker for animals, and relationships between animals and people. This book had me laughing and crying, and I've re-read it at least twice. The bird is hysterical with a strong personality.
September 27, 2007
OK so I own this great collection of Nature DVDs and one of them is all about parrots. My BF and I were laughing our asses off, tears streaming down our faces watching it. These birds are fucking hilarious. Long story short, I went to Arlington's Town Day a few weeks back and made out like a bandit at the Library Sale. This was one of the books I picked up for like a quarter. I found it educational, touching, and amusing. If they weren't such a huge pain in the ass, I'd totally buy a parrot. But I'll stick with cats :)
March 3, 2009
Tiko the parrot has a strong personality. So much so that (embarrassing as it is to admit) I found myself feeling annoyed and resentful toward him. He was so willful and badly behaved! He held grudges! He threw tantrums! Got into vicious confrontations with her husband over her affections! Of course there is also the closeness and love between Tiko and Joanna. In fact, a little too close - I found myself wondering why on earth she encouraged his mating behavior, to the point where she would accept semen deposits from him. Overall, this seems to portray a rather dysfunctional relationship.
July 29, 2021
Interesting discussion of parrot behavior (both wild and captive), but ultimately there's nothing new to learn here for those with companion parrots. Also, I was way more interested in Joanna Burger's field studies of parrots and other birds than in Tiko's story (which was nothing special really; it's not that hard to bond with a parrot.)
November 9, 2007
An amazing story of the relationship between a parrot and his "woman." It's touching, funny, and educational. I'd love to have a parrot, but I'd have to think about an endowment to provide for the parrot at the end of my life. They live a long time.
December 21, 2014
I'm a sucker for books on humans connecting with other animals - and this one was really really good! Highly recommended.
November 8, 2014
This is a behavioral biologist's story of her relationship with an adopted amazon, interspersed with discussions about her research and work with environmental agencies.
She allowed her parrot to dominate her life, to the point that her husband is attacked when she pays attention to him, and her husband can't even open the refigerator without being dive-bombed. The author and her husband are perfectly willing to live like this, with the parrot always in charge.
Her tale is fascinating, but surely she could have a deep relationship with her bird without acceding him alpha bird status? If she and her husband had established a different dominance order from the start, they would have a much more manageable life, the parrot could still live happily and as naturally as possible, even if they are content with the situation. Granted, all I've had are parakeets, but all the behavior books I've read on parrots agree with my statements on who should be in charge.
She allowed her parrot to dominate her life, to the point that her husband is attacked when she pays attention to him, and her husband can't even open the refigerator without being dive-bombed. The author and her husband are perfectly willing to live like this, with the parrot always in charge.
Her tale is fascinating, but surely she could have a deep relationship with her bird without acceding him alpha bird status? If she and her husband had established a different dominance order from the start, they would have a much more manageable life, the parrot could still live happily and as naturally as possible, even if they are content with the situation. Granted, all I've had are parakeets, but all the behavior books I've read on parrots agree with my statements on who should be in charge.
May 4, 2022
This book taught me one thing: I NEVER want a bird.
This book- is (I assume) supposed to make them seem sweet and help the reader see the reason one wants a bird--- but that was not the effect. The author wrote the book well, but I can't help but think she is a bit self-centered to be willing to live her life around her hobby of birds- putting her family after the needs of this spoiled/stubborn animal.
Part of my reason for being a bit negative....is a bit controversial, but I don't think birds should be kept as pets. I think birds should be left in the wild- and those that are "domesticated" should be put in a world most like their natural habitat.
Anyhow....birds? NO. I find it to be a selfish decision to have one living in your house- but if you want to read about what it is like to have a bird- this is the book as the writing is good.
Read: if you are thinking of allowing a bird into your house.
This book- is (I assume) supposed to make them seem sweet and help the reader see the reason one wants a bird--- but that was not the effect. The author wrote the book well, but I can't help but think she is a bit self-centered to be willing to live her life around her hobby of birds- putting her family after the needs of this spoiled/stubborn animal.
Part of my reason for being a bit negative....is a bit controversial, but I don't think birds should be kept as pets. I think birds should be left in the wild- and those that are "domesticated" should be put in a world most like their natural habitat.
Anyhow....birds? NO. I find it to be a selfish decision to have one living in your house- but if you want to read about what it is like to have a bird- this is the book as the writing is good.
Read: if you are thinking of allowing a bird into your house.
May 5, 2016
This is one of the best books I ever read about Parrots. A must read for Parrot lovers.
November 16, 2013
I loved this book. It was a funny, honest, and very informative account of what it's like to by owned by a parrot. I am owned by a parrot but she is not as demanding as Tico. I will admit my parrot is more high maintenance than any other animal that has been a part of my family. Being owned by a parrot is not for everyone. Anyone considering it, should really examine their lifestyle and ability to commit beforehand. It is definitely not the same as bringing home a cat or dog, it is a much more interactive relationship on many levels as Joanna shows us in the book. With any parrot, it is a time and commitment intensive relationship. For some people, it's completely worth it.
October 23, 2013
"Warning"! "There is no such thing as owning a parrot. You can't have a parrot as a pet. A dog,certainly, a cat maybe, but a parrot, never. Quiter the contrary, you are the pet, and parrots vary in their ability to make good masters. Be warned, being owned by a parrot is not for the faint of heart." Joanna Burger.
So true! and what better way to learn about a parrot than from a parrot owning ornithologist! Loved the humor and honesty in this book. I learned more about the behavior, care and keeping of my bird than any other "how to" book I've read.
So true! and what better way to learn about a parrot than from a parrot owning ornithologist! Loved the humor and honesty in this book. I learned more about the behavior, care and keeping of my bird than any other "how to" book I've read.
November 18, 2019
A truly amazing unique book
I like to read about animals particularly dogs and cats but this book was truly stunning and revealing the intelligence and the emotions of a parrot. I encourage you in this great read. The writer is very adept in describing her subjects
I like to read about animals particularly dogs and cats but this book was truly stunning and revealing the intelligence and the emotions of a parrot. I encourage you in this great read. The writer is very adept in describing her subjects
July 31, 2017
I'm going to preface this by saying, this is going to be a rant.
After finishing this book, I've come to the conclusion that I believe the author is a narcissist and a terrible pet owner. The book was merely a pretext for her display what a dedicated scientist she is, as well as how special she is as a person to experience Tiko's devoted love.
She's not special. Parrots often bond with a single person, and they can be incredibly random as to who they choose. Tiko's view of her as a mate was to be expected, as she was the one who "saved" him from a stressful environment, as well as encouraged his mating rituals. This has led to a stressful relationship between her husband and Tiko. She rewards his aggressive behavior and reinforces that attacking her husband gets cuddles and sweet talk from her. Essentially, I believe she likes the attention of two males fighting over her. It's only fitting behavior towards someone as amazing as her!
The book also digresses quite often to her (irrelevant) research projects. Rather than summarize her trips in a sentence or two (I was gone for x amount of time researching y, and when I returned z happened with Tiko), she instead digresses for several pages discussing just how brilliant she is and devoted to her studies. The book supposedly is about her relationship with a parrot, yet the parrot is featured in only half of the book.
Finally, I cannot begin to express how frustrated I am with her treatment of Tiko's diet. She is knowledgeable enough to recognize cheese isn't great for Tiko, and that he needs a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables to supplement the nuts and pellets, yet she continuously gives him M&Ms. I understand that he is now 50 and has survived that long on it, but it's irresponsible to continue to give it to him. Would she continue to give a child a food they were allergic to just because the child has survived eating it so far? Allergies and chocolate may not kill immediately, but they can be lethal.
I think if Burger had focused on titular topic of the book - her relationship with Tiko - I wouldn't have been so annoyed overall. Parrots are still in their infancy of being understood, in terms of health and behavior. There are a lot of different ideas floating around as to the best care of them, so I'm pretty open to different experiences. What works for one bird may not work for another. The responses to his mating behavior is something I could have overlooked, had the rest of the book been relevant. However, she instead chose to produce a masturbatory tale of her own greatness. If you're actually looking for a good book on parrots, I highly suggest Alex & Me by Irene Pepperberg. It actually does discuss the relationship between parrot and human, as well as includes relevant scientific discussion.
After finishing this book, I've come to the conclusion that I believe the author is a narcissist and a terrible pet owner. The book was merely a pretext for her display what a dedicated scientist she is, as well as how special she is as a person to experience Tiko's devoted love.
She's not special. Parrots often bond with a single person, and they can be incredibly random as to who they choose. Tiko's view of her as a mate was to be expected, as she was the one who "saved" him from a stressful environment, as well as encouraged his mating rituals. This has led to a stressful relationship between her husband and Tiko. She rewards his aggressive behavior and reinforces that attacking her husband gets cuddles and sweet talk from her. Essentially, I believe she likes the attention of two males fighting over her. It's only fitting behavior towards someone as amazing as her!
The book also digresses quite often to her (irrelevant) research projects. Rather than summarize her trips in a sentence or two (I was gone for x amount of time researching y, and when I returned z happened with Tiko), she instead digresses for several pages discussing just how brilliant she is and devoted to her studies. The book supposedly is about her relationship with a parrot, yet the parrot is featured in only half of the book.
Finally, I cannot begin to express how frustrated I am with her treatment of Tiko's diet. She is knowledgeable enough to recognize cheese isn't great for Tiko, and that he needs a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables to supplement the nuts and pellets, yet she continuously gives him M&Ms. I understand that he is now 50 and has survived that long on it, but it's irresponsible to continue to give it to him. Would she continue to give a child a food they were allergic to just because the child has survived eating it so far? Allergies and chocolate may not kill immediately, but they can be lethal.
I think if Burger had focused on titular topic of the book - her relationship with Tiko - I wouldn't have been so annoyed overall. Parrots are still in their infancy of being understood, in terms of health and behavior. There are a lot of different ideas floating around as to the best care of them, so I'm pretty open to different experiences. What works for one bird may not work for another. The responses to his mating behavior is something I could have overlooked, had the rest of the book been relevant. However, she instead chose to produce a masturbatory tale of her own greatness. If you're actually looking for a good book on parrots, I highly suggest Alex & Me by Irene Pepperberg. It actually does discuss the relationship between parrot and human, as well as includes relevant scientific discussion.
September 1, 2015
I loved this book because of the respectful relationship the author has with a parrot she adopted, a parrot born into captivity that couldn't be released to the wild. I believe it is cruel to keep a bird in a cage for the amusement of humans, and I strongly oppose the parrot trade, and those are reasons I loved this book. I agree wholeheartedly with the author when she says, "There is no such thing as owning a parrot. You can't have a parrot as a pet. A dog, certainly, a cat maybe, but a parrot, never. Quite the contrary; you are the pet, and parrots vary in their ability to be good masters. Be warned---being owned by a parrot is not for the faint of heart."
Please don't support the parrot trade by buying parrots. Read this book instead.
Please don't support the parrot trade by buying parrots. Read this book instead.
April 27, 2018
I wish more people would read books written by people with close, knowledgeable relationships with non-human animals.
I look forward to the day when the majority of humans can recognize the intelligence, emotions, personalities of non-humans, when we can get over our need to be the only species on the planet with those qualities. This conceit is no different from racial discrimination, but so many humans can’t recognize it as such.
So, this book is a charming account of a relationship with an irascible, loyal loving bird.
I look forward to the day when the majority of humans can recognize the intelligence, emotions, personalities of non-humans, when we can get over our need to be the only species on the planet with those qualities. This conceit is no different from racial discrimination, but so many humans can’t recognize it as such.
So, this book is a charming account of a relationship with an irascible, loyal loving bird.
January 16, 2008
If you have ever owned a bird, or think you might want to own a bird, you have to read this book. It details the author's life with a parrot who thinks she is his mate, and how she manages her little menage a trois (Burger, her husband and a jealous parrot) The added plus is that Burger is an experienced ornithologist, so in addition to the personal narrative, she brings a deep understanding of birds and the way they live in the wild.
September 5, 2008
Written by a well-known ornithologist, it's the story of how she build a relationship with a scarred parrot suffering from the loss of his two human companions and long-term home. I'm enjoying the book for funny anecdotes and parrot information but I have to say, the scientific tone and detours, while interesting, tend to make the reading a little dry. Derails the story a bit, though interesting findings.
March 6, 2014
I gave this book a three star rating because I would have liked more about Tiko and Dr. Burger's interaction and a little less of where she went and what she was researching at the time. The information about the parrots was good, but almost not enough. I am glad that my two cats are not as destructive as Tiko is with his nest building to impress Johanna. I wish there would have been some pictures of the birds that she talks about, not just the picture on the front cover of the book.
January 29, 2018
I read this book years ago but have a strong memory of thoroughly enjoying it. Joanna Burger is a renowned seabird biologist, so brings the scientific side of parrots to the reader. However, it's the deeply personal and moving story of her relationship with Tiko that makes this the perfect read. It also confirms to me that keeping parrots as solitary pets is terrible... and conservation and protection of their native habitats is so important.
December 7, 2008
The title says it all.
And it's not just any relationship either, it's a menage-a-trois between two mammals and a creature more closely related to the dinosaurs than to them, who has his own view of the world and his own priorities.
If you like parrots, at all, I'm sure you'll like this book.
And it's not just any relationship either, it's a menage-a-trois between two mammals and a creature more closely related to the dinosaurs than to them, who has his own view of the world and his own priorities.
If you like parrots, at all, I'm sure you'll like this book.
July 3, 2011
Similar to Wesley the Owl. Story of a bird who considered his owner his mate. I loved the story where he sat by her and groomed her hair while she was sick. Animals are amazing creatures.
I am looking forward to the day when the lion will lay down with the lamb. Imagine what it will be like then!
I am looking forward to the day when the lion will lay down with the lamb. Imagine what it will be like then!
March 23, 2013
If you love birds, specifically parrots or conures, this book is for you. This is still one of my favorite books of all, specifically because it taught me about the relationship and bonds my parrots and conures have developed with me. In addition, this book is filled with very funny moments that made me laugh pretty hard.
August 14, 2011
I loved this book. It has a wonderful blend of personal owner/bird relationship as well as scientific information about birds in the wild. As a bird co-habitor it explained a lot about how my owner behaves.
March 2, 2015
This is a remarkable story, or rather memoir. The friendship Joanna develops with Tico the parrot is amazing, and the time she puts into it is even more so. It is a book that I would recommend to any bird enthusiast, but the average person may not enjoy or understand it as well.
September 8, 2008
A long ago recommendation from friend Pattie...I loved this book unconditionally, but don't buy me a parrot.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews