You're Not What I Expected

by Polly Young-Eisendrath

The acclaimed classic about how to achieve a successful relationship between a man and a woman--now back in paperback. "An impressive account of how 'dialogue therapy' helps couples achieve new intimacy. . . . Young-Eisendrath sees the process as a transformation from disillusionment into trust. Scholarly and thoughtful yet totally accessible and quite practical".--KIRKUS REVIEWS. 416 pp.

Genres: Relationships

416 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., is a Jungian analyst, psychologist, and psychotherapist in private practice. She is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Vermont and the founder and director of the Institute for Dialogue Therapy. She is past president of the Vermont Association for Psychoanalytic Studies and a founding member of the Vermont Institute for the Psychotherapies. Polly is also the chairperson of Enlightening Conversations, a series of conversational conferences which bring together participants from the front lines of Buddhism and psychoanalysis. Polly has published sixteen books, as well as many chapters and articles, that have been translated into more than twenty languages, including The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance> and Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path>.

Reviews

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book. I recall ( I read this about 6-7 years ago) taking this with me while traveling and furiously underlining passages. This is a book about relationships going wrong and why they do. Its one of the best ones I ever read and I found myself and my troubled relationship in the pages. It didn't solve my relationship problems but it certainly put them in a context of meaning that helped me greatly understand my particular suffering and reactions. Highly recommend for everyone in a relationship- all relationships go wrong from their original state of bliss, Ms Young- Eisendrath helps explain that fall from grace into disillusionment in a clear, accessible and intelluctually challenging, hugely informative way.

[Bholdsworth7 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional insights into the archetypes that keep showing up in relationships. I wish I read this book 20 years ago - not a self help book at all. A very detailed description of our internal reasons for attraction and then what happens when the romance wears off and how we project our unrealistic fantasies onto our partner. The case studies throughout the book offer concrete examples ("I think I said that one too") and offers dialog from her therapy practice on how to break the pattern. Great book on recognizing and then accepting responsibility for our needs in relationship.