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Grit to Stay Grace to Go: Staying Well in Cross-Cultural Ministry
Don't Leave Too Soon, Don't Stay Too Long
Staying isn't always good and leaving isn't always bad. Both require grit and grace. Cross-cultural ministry presents us with many difficulties like transitions, loneliness, messy relationships, and the desire to escape. The lies we believe tempt us to leave our work too soon. But nothing tests our resolve to stay like seeing others go.Grit to Stay Grace to Go normalizes the challenges of ministry through honest and humorous stories from the authors' own lives as well as testimonies from many other workers. The point is to help cross-cultural workers not just to stay, but to stay well, by countering lies with truth. This workbook provides thoughtful reflection questions, practical action steps, and suggested prayers. It encourages stayers to process their grief, guilt, and relief when saying goodbye to goers. In this way, they can move forward with forgiveness and humility and truly bless the departing ones. Those considering leaving will find poignant questions and spiritual practices to help them make an intentional, not reactive, decision.Are you considering leaving the field? Or do you know someone who is? Work through this book by yourself or with others. You will gain wisdom to help workers develop grit and grace to stay or go.
Staying isn't always good and leaving isn't always bad. Both require grit and grace. Cross-cultural ministry presents us with many difficulties like transitions, loneliness, messy relationships, and the desire to escape. The lies we believe tempt us to leave our work too soon. But nothing tests our resolve to stay like seeing others go.Grit to Stay Grace to Go normalizes the challenges of ministry through honest and humorous stories from the authors' own lives as well as testimonies from many other workers. The point is to help cross-cultural workers not just to stay, but to stay well, by countering lies with truth. This workbook provides thoughtful reflection questions, practical action steps, and suggested prayers. It encourages stayers to process their grief, guilt, and relief when saying goodbye to goers. In this way, they can move forward with forgiveness and humility and truly bless the departing ones. Those considering leaving will find poignant questions and spiritual practices to help them make an intentional, not reactive, decision.Are you considering leaving the field? Or do you know someone who is? Work through this book by yourself or with others. You will gain wisdom to help workers develop grit and grace to stay or go.
235 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 30, 2023
49 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
June 9, 2023
I am so thankful for this book. This is one of those books I plan to return to again and again. Knowing when to stay, how to stay well, and when to go are some of those hard topics that can't really be addressed until you are in the middle of it. I can think of multiple seasons of my own life when the resources and chapters of this book would have been extremely relevant. My first read through the book was quick and full of highlights. I'm planning now to go back and read some of the chapters individually and do a few of the exercises.
I’m also really thankful for both authors and their vast experience and the wisdom they shared. This isn't an easy topic and I can guess that sharing some of the stories they shared came with a cost. I'm thankful they were willing to offer up those stories and the hurts, disappointments, and failures they contained, so that God could redeem it and use it for the good of those coming after them. Thank you ladies!
I’m also really thankful for both authors and their vast experience and the wisdom they shared. This isn't an easy topic and I can guess that sharing some of the stories they shared came with a cost. I'm thankful they were willing to offer up those stories and the hurts, disappointments, and failures they contained, so that God could redeem it and use it for the good of those coming after them. Thank you ladies!
February 7, 2024
Great book full of practical wisdom, life experience, and community-oriented suggestions for processing change well, no matter which side of it you are on.
May 30, 2023
The life of a cross-cultural ministry worker is full of twists and turns. You finally figure out what to do and where to go, raise your support and share your plans with everyone, only to get to the field and find it's not what you expected, or that the people you were so looking forward to working with are on their way out. Or maybe you're the one leaving and processing all the implications of that decision. As you make decisions about sticking it out or letting go, "Grit to Stay Grace to Go" will help you know you aren't alone.
Each chapter addresses a different dynamic that often comes up, how the authors have seen or experienced it, lies we may fall for, and truths we can cling to. Throughout, there are meaty reflection questions and resources for going deeper: typically 4-6 articles to access online and a book or two for each of the 36 chapters. A series of appendices address topics like soul care, listening, loss and grief, and debriefing.
This is more of a workbook and a reference than the sort of book you read straight through. Team leaders and missionary care providers will find it a helpful resource, and field workers will see themselves on its pages.
Note that both authors have published books for women, but this isn't just a book for women, or for Americans, or for missionaries from a certain tradition; they've made efforts to keep a broader readership in mind.
Each chapter addresses a different dynamic that often comes up, how the authors have seen or experienced it, lies we may fall for, and truths we can cling to. Throughout, there are meaty reflection questions and resources for going deeper: typically 4-6 articles to access online and a book or two for each of the 36 chapters. A series of appendices address topics like soul care, listening, loss and grief, and debriefing.
This is more of a workbook and a reference than the sort of book you read straight through. Team leaders and missionary care providers will find it a helpful resource, and field workers will see themselves on its pages.
Note that both authors have published books for women, but this isn't just a book for women, or for Americans, or for missionaries from a certain tradition; they've made efforts to keep a broader readership in mind.
June 6, 2023
Must Read!
Wow! Wow! Wow! This is such An amazing book for those in cross cultural work. It helps us to take a look at what we are doing and how to process what’s going on around us (and how to help others process it). May we be gracious to those who leave and help those around us grieve well (including ourselves.)
Wow! Wow! Wow! This is such An amazing book for those in cross cultural work. It helps us to take a look at what we are doing and how to process what’s going on around us (and how to help others process it). May we be gracious to those who leave and help those around us grieve well (including ourselves.)
May 31, 2023
This is more of a workbook to help global workers stay well and leave well. It also includes a section for those in the process of deciding if their time is coming to a close and need to move to the next destination. Each chapter includes reflection questions that look at Bible passages, response questions for deeper processing, a short prayer and then a list of other resources that align with the chapter.
I found that though Sue and Eva claim they do not have answers, they have wisdom from the many years and experience of living overseas and transitioning from one place to another. They also incorporate research into their writing to back up these thoughts and ideas.
I highly recommend it for anyone who is a global worker or works alongside global workers.
I found that though Sue and Eva claim they do not have answers, they have wisdom from the many years and experience of living overseas and transitioning from one place to another. They also incorporate research into their writing to back up these thoughts and ideas.
I highly recommend it for anyone who is a global worker or works alongside global workers.
May 29, 2023
THE BOOK EVERY GLOBAL WORKER HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR
This book offers profound encouragement and perspective for every cross-cultural worker and those who "hold the ropes" in any way. It includes timely insights and a wealth of helpful information--not just for those going overseas, but also for sending churches, agency administrators, and prayer supporters. It unfolds just the right balance of understanding the challenges and appreciating the blessings. The writers are authentic: both have first-hand experience from years of cross-cultural living, plus added training and experience in member care.
As a global worker myself for many years, I especially resonated with the chapter entitled "We were Going to Change the World Together/Unmet Expectations." Eva shares with humble honesty: "I expected to stay on the field until retirement. I expected my teammates to stay that long too.... I expected them to step in where needed....And of course, they would stay as long as necessary to get the job done. But I did not expect to say goodbye to so many teammates.... And so, when a teammate told us they planned to leave..., I was devastated. .... When I transferred my expectation from my teammates' behavior and my well-devised strategies to my heavenly Father, I was not so upset.... I could trust God that he would plant his church and build his kingdom his way, in his timing, with his players."
The book speaks to myriad issues that global workers face these days. I wish I'd had the book 30 years ago. Highly recommend!
This book offers profound encouragement and perspective for every cross-cultural worker and those who "hold the ropes" in any way. It includes timely insights and a wealth of helpful information--not just for those going overseas, but also for sending churches, agency administrators, and prayer supporters. It unfolds just the right balance of understanding the challenges and appreciating the blessings. The writers are authentic: both have first-hand experience from years of cross-cultural living, plus added training and experience in member care.
As a global worker myself for many years, I especially resonated with the chapter entitled "We were Going to Change the World Together/Unmet Expectations." Eva shares with humble honesty: "I expected to stay on the field until retirement. I expected my teammates to stay that long too.... I expected them to step in where needed....And of course, they would stay as long as necessary to get the job done. But I did not expect to say goodbye to so many teammates.... And so, when a teammate told us they planned to leave..., I was devastated. .... When I transferred my expectation from my teammates' behavior and my well-devised strategies to my heavenly Father, I was not so upset.... I could trust God that he would plant his church and build his kingdom his way, in his timing, with his players."
The book speaks to myriad issues that global workers face these days. I wish I'd had the book 30 years ago. Highly recommend!
May 31, 2023
Grit to Stay, Grace to Go is a must read for anyone who works and lives cross-culturally, and for people who support those who do! The format is great, with stories, guidance, reflection, prayer and even resources listed in every chapter. The authors rely not only on their own experiences but on other’s testimonies, and most importantly, on biblical principles.
I wish this book had been around when I lived outside my passport country. Leaving is always hard, but I grew up moving often, so leaving became normal. For me, I learned that staying is sometimes even harder as we still have to say goodbye to so many people. In fact, during our first 5 years in Africa my husband and I said goodbye to over 100 people! The section on staying is incredibly helpful for understanding and processing feelings relating to being left.
I wish this book had been around when I lived outside my passport country. Leaving is always hard, but I grew up moving often, so leaving became normal. For me, I learned that staying is sometimes even harder as we still have to say goodbye to so many people. In fact, during our first 5 years in Africa my husband and I said goodbye to over 100 people! The section on staying is incredibly helpful for understanding and processing feelings relating to being left.
October 2, 2023
I've greatly appreciated this book, as it has been helping me not just in processing my own emotions and decisions around staying and going, but in processing team dynamics as well.
The authors share practical, thoughtful, and easily digestible stories, information, insights, and questions. I really liked how the chapters are broken down to include sections on lies, truths, reflection and response. It feels interactive and not just informative.
A helpful book whether you are a cross-cultural worker/missionary or know someone who is.
The authors share practical, thoughtful, and easily digestible stories, information, insights, and questions. I really liked how the chapters are broken down to include sections on lies, truths, reflection and response. It feels interactive and not just informative.
A helpful book whether you are a cross-cultural worker/missionary or know someone who is.
June 10, 2023
Are you investing your life cross culturally? Do you have fellow pilgrims on the path with you? Then you know the highs and lies of embracing new colleagues and releasing others. This book is like fresh wind in your sails: relatable stories, perspective, helpful questions for processing, resources, and authors who have lived the journey you are on. With each chapter I thought of another friend with whom to share the book!
October 9, 2023
A very practical, reflective workbook geared toward cross-cultural workers wrestling with leaving or staying. Sometimes we need grit and perseverance for the hard times. Sometimes we may need to make changes to thrive, and sometimes it's our turn to leave. How do we discern these? I especially appreciated the section on dealing with the loss of teammates leaving. The questions and list of resources after each chapter are a great tool to work through with a mentor.
December 13, 2023
Great resource for global workers as they navigate the staying, leaving, and the mobility around them. Filled with practical advice, resources, Scripture, questions and so much more. If you are an overseas worker and you don’t need this book now, you definitely will need it soon!
February 4, 2025
I intentionally waited to read this until I knew I’d need it to process a hard goodbye. I’m so glad I did, but with many, many resources, reflection questions, and perspectives throughout, I know I’ll come back to this book in future, different seasons, too.
January 23, 2024
Appreciated this book as a "stayer" and launching many families
August 21, 2024
This is helpful for both those who are staying and those who are leaving. Practical and worth spending time reflecting on the questions and scripture.
February 18, 2025
4.5 stars
June 13, 2025
Great book. if you are serving in cross cultural work, or implicated with people who are, grab a copy and learn some good stuff.
June 11, 2024
"Grit to Stay Grace to Go" is an easy-to-read, insightful book that offers practical advice and wisdom for missionary families. The personal stories shared throughout the book are particularly impactful, providing relatable experiences and genuine reflections that resonate deeply with those in cross-cultural ministry.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its focus on personal reflection with practical questions at the end of each chapter. The book reads quickly and the chapters are short. It offers a grounded, heartfelt perspective that is immensely helpful for individuals and families grappling with the decision to either stay on the mission field or return home. The stories and advice provided are not only comforting but also empowering, giving readers the tools to make thoughtful, spirit-led decisions.
This book is especially useful for those who are currently on the field, whether they are considering leaving or staying. It could also be a great resource for teams to read together, facilitating meaningful discussions and mutual support. Reading this book feels like having a good conversation with a mentor who has been there and done it before—a truly valuable resource for anyone uncertain about their next steps.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its focus on personal reflection with practical questions at the end of each chapter. The book reads quickly and the chapters are short. It offers a grounded, heartfelt perspective that is immensely helpful for individuals and families grappling with the decision to either stay on the mission field or return home. The stories and advice provided are not only comforting but also empowering, giving readers the tools to make thoughtful, spirit-led decisions.
This book is especially useful for those who are currently on the field, whether they are considering leaving or staying. It could also be a great resource for teams to read together, facilitating meaningful discussions and mutual support. Reading this book feels like having a good conversation with a mentor who has been there and done it before—a truly valuable resource for anyone uncertain about their next steps.
March 2, 2024
A critical tool for those who are sent. These women speak to those who are want to stay, those who have to say goodbye to the leaving ones, and to those who want to leave. Don’t stay too long, don’t be bitter by those who leave, and don’t go too soon. Do the emotional and spiritual work to be able to stay well, release well, and leave well.
Complete with workbook at the end of each chapter to guide the reader through Biblical reflection and processing as well as extra resources for each topic covered. This book really should be in the toolbox of those who are sent along with those who care for them.
Complete with workbook at the end of each chapter to guide the reader through Biblical reflection and processing as well as extra resources for each topic covered. This book really should be in the toolbox of those who are sent along with those who care for them.
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