Never Sniff a Gift Fish

by Patrick F. McManus

More humerous observations and insights into the agonies and ecstacies of hunting, fishing, and camping by the author of They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?and other celebrations of life in the wild.

Genres: Humor, Comedy, Nonfiction, Short Stories, Outdoors, Nature, Adventure

Hardcover

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

Patrick F. McManus is an American outdoor humor writer. A humor columnist for Outdoor Life and other magazines, his columns have been collected in several books.

Reviews

[Cliff · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of hilarious stories by outdoor humorist Patrick McManus. The author has published a whole series of such stories, many of which are based "loosely" on his experiences growing up in Sandpoint, Idaho. McManus is a former columnist for "Field & Stream" and "Outdoor Life" magazines. What is not well-known is that he is also a former professor of English at Eastern Washington University. His homespun style in these books might obscure the fact that only a master craftsman of the English language can write the way he does. His books are worth reading not just for laughs, but for anyone who admires engaging storytelling.

[Shiloah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many laugh out loud funny moments.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of the same, but there's nothing wrong with that.

[Scott Whitney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Could not help but laugh when I read this book, unfortunately I was in the emergency room waiting area when I did. Very funny book.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sage, sage advise

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Dad introduced us to these years ago. He reads them out loud to us on vacation, and they are HILARIOUS! Thank you Patrick F. McManus, for adding LOTS of laughter to our family vacations!

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted a fun, quick read, so I picked up this book off of my parents' book shelf. It was a re-read so I knew what to expect. McManus has a way with words and story telling that few others do. Even a non-outdoors person will find humor and truth in this collection of essays. My favorite- The Mountain Car.

[Kara of BookishBytes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection is one of McManus's best. His humor is rich and delightful. I've reread this book several times and continue to enjoy it.

[Jennifer Carbone · Rating 4 out of 5]

My dad really likes Patrick McManus's books, so I thought I would try one. The book is set up as individual short stories about the author's life, mostly focusing on his camping/fishing expeditions and adventures with his family and friends. Some of the stories and "characters" are extremely funny and witty, while others miss the mark a bit. Overall, I'm glad I gave it a chance!

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second in the set of four by Mr. McManus, retired outdoor humor writer. This is very consistent with the previous (“Real Ponies don’t go Oink!”), in that the protagonist is a not-very-good outdoorsman with equally-not-very-good pals (Rancid Crabtree, Crazy Muldoon) and barely tolerated by long-suffering wife Bun. So a sampling: After expounding on the concept of cabin fever as experienced by the narrator and his family when he was a kid, he goes one better by describing “Two Man Tent Fever,” in which he and his pal Parker Whitney endured twenty hours waiting out a storm in just such a tent; the paranoia, hallucinations, irritability and downright murderousness become even more intensified! The titular article concerns a neighbor, Al Finley, whose chief goal in life is immortality, and in that vein he comes up with “Never sniff a gift fish” because “How many gift horses is anyone really gonna get?”. In this way, Al hopes to be known for coining a phrase for the common man. The best, in my opinion, is “Edgy Rider,” in which the narrator and his buddy Crazy Muldoon come up with cows as a reasonable substitute for pigs as ersatz horses. So they attempt to stride one of the Muldoons’ Holsteins, several times from several vantage points. Of course, Crazy Muldoon’s father is – well, here’s a quote: “Mr. Muldoon was a burly Irishman with a volcanic temper, and he strongly objected to scientific experiments being conducted on his livestock.” The outcome and Mr. Muldoon’s response thereto, while predictable, is quite funny.

Another easy read, with a constant smile upon the reader’s face.

[Anika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick McManus is a contributor to "Field and Stream" and "Outdoor Life" magazines (in addition to several other things as well, but these are the most pertinent to give you an idea of the sort of things covered in this book). This would normally be of zero interest to me, but it was chosen for one of my book clubs here at home, so there you have it. I'm so glad it was chosen--it was an absolute delight to listen to this book! I found myself laughing out loud at his tongue-in-cheek humor, his sarcasm, his ability to laugh at himself and at fellow outdoors enthusiasts. Many of the essays in this book were autobiographical, and even when speaking of remarkably difficult times (like the year that his father moved the family to a bare-bones rustic cabin in the mountains of Idaho, which sounded AWFUL but he slathered it in humor so that you got the gist of it but never pitied him) you can't keep from laughing.
My favorite was when he and his friend bought a "mountain car" which was basically falling apart, had no front fender, missing a door, etc. (you get the picture) and named it after their favorite school teacher, Ms. Peabody. The hilarity that ensues as they are overheard speaking about the work that they need to do on "Ms. Peabody" was raucous. :'-D
Having grown up in Utah, I went fishing when I was younger, have camped my whole life, and have friends who are die-hard hunters, so many of these stories were familiar on at least some level so I guess I would be in the target audience for this one...though I think his brand of humor would be universally appealing. I recommend this to anyone looking for a quick, easy read and a good laugh--especially as an audiobook.

[Joshua Lee Fallaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick McManus sounds like my grandfather. By that I mean I hear my grandfather's voice in my head when I read this book. Some reviewers have said that this book is boring and unfunny; well those poor souls have obviously never had a grandfather like mine.

My grandfather was born and raised on a farm in Ferdinand, Indiana. He received his first rifle, a Winchester single shot .22, for his twelfth Christmas, and could soon light s match with it from fifty yards. He knew every kind of tree by its leaf, and every kind of animal by its tracks. He was a hunter, a fisher, a camper-he loved all things outdoors, as McManus obviously does. And his dry sense of humor when spinning a yarn might not be understood by those with the unfortunate defect of having an inability to place oneself in the story, but he was hilarious to those of us who were interested in what he had to say.

"Never Sniff A Gift Fish" is a collection of humorous tales concerning McManus' adventures in the outdoors, both growing up and as an adult. For those of us blessed to have grown up in rural areas, the stories are familiar, funny, and relatable. We know the inexplicable joy of spending the entire day cursing at the variety of misfortunes which can befall a man pursuing game, and how, despite everything, we can't wait to get out and do it again. Filled with amusing anecdotes, this book is perfect for a short read. If you'd rather be fishing, take this book with you to read in between casts.

[Quantie5000 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of short stories provided a pleasant change of pace from my usual genre picks. NOT being a 'fisherman' or 'hunter', there were parts that I needed to reread or think over before moving on HOWEVER, the bottom line was verbally exquisite - providing a light hearted 'study' of escapades & relationships in an outdoor setting. I found myself chuckling my way through the entire collection!

[H R Koelling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fine collection of humorous stories from a gifted writer. If you're not an outdoorsman, you probably won't appreciate the subject matter, but if you are, then these short essays should make you laugh even if some of the material is from a bygone era.

I was very impressed by McManus' silly and absurd turns of phrases. I can't say he influenced any contemporary humorous fiction writers, but his style precedes the best of today's comic authors.

[The Wanderer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts of this had me struggling not to laugh out loud on a crowded Chinese metro. Other parts never took off, maybe because they were so obviously fictional, or because I don't have much interest in fishing. I particularly liked the episodes he set in his childhood, especially the Retch Sweeney ones, but the exercise regime was a hoot, as well. In any case, it was an easy and enjoyable read.

[Elissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like Patrick McManus's books as well because they are short stories, but so funny. The way he looks at things dealing with outdoor sports is just great. Often from a kids perspective which I love.

[Tristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This man is just too funny.

[Isla McKetta · Rating 4 out of 5]

My 9yo is delighted by all of these books.

[Steven Scribner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious, at first. Then gradually the reader realizes that no matter how many absurd things happen, the narrator will always assume that others are adulating his extreme skill and hyper-intelligence rather than nearly passing out with laughter or panic when his latest escapade has resulted in nearly getting himself killed – or at least getting run over with his own homemade airplane full of fishing gear. The side characters (Retch Sweeny, Rancid Crabtree, Bun, and Crazy Eddie) are all funny in their way too, but like the narrator, begin to get predictable as the episodes continue. I’ll give the book five stars for the first third (the homemade canon, thoughts on fishing philosophy and empty gas tanks, and burglar incident are all pretty funny) but fewer as it proceeds -- though there are a couple of unrelated chapters near the end that approach the heights of the beginning.

--Steven E. Scribner, author of the "Tond" series (fantasy) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

[Mitch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I am not an outdoorsman by any stretch of the imagination, and although humor is not my usual genre, I am forced by the fact that I laughed out loud not once but multilple times at this guy's funny business to give this book a coveted five star rating. His humor will doubtless appeal to men more than women and to huntsmen and fishguys more than office workers, but it's as well done as the elk steaks he reserved for himself after one of his few successful outings.

Take a shot at him- otherwise you'll miss out.

[Carrie Brownell · Rating 4 out of 5]

First time reading aloud a McManus to my kids. It was a proper introduction and we laughed until we cried (and laughed and laughed some more)! Marked it as 4 stars simply because I had to edit it as I read aloud to avoid some sexual innuendos. They do not happen frequently and could largely go unnoticed much of the time, but they are there, sprinkled about, and so I did some fast talking. ;)

Nevertheless, appreciated the laugh.

[C. Earle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another collections of stories from the crazy brain of Patrick McManus. He is hilarious. The narrator is Norman Dietz, who makes listening PURE DELIGHT. I came across Mr. McManus by chance and have enjoyed 4 of his books in a short time. Listening has made doing mundane things a pleasure. I laugh out loud and now refer to those people I don't particularly like as "elbows"(much more lady like than some other words).

[xtine]

Patrick McManus is one of the funniest writers ever and this is one of his better collections. I found myself laughing out loud so many times. A must for anyone who loves the outdoors: hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, etc.

All the stories were great and funny but, if forced to pick favorites, they are these: Running on Empty, Two-Man-Tent Fever, Fish Poles and Other Useful Terminology, The Man Who Notices Things, The Elk Trappers, The Mountain Car, The Bush Pilots, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, Backseats I Have Known, Edgy Rider, The Hunters' Workout Guide, and the Big Match.

He is so funny and relatable. Who hasn't felt this way while hiking? "We were hoofing our way up a mountain so steep the trail was only eighteen inches away from my nose. At each gasp I stripped small pine trees bare of needles. I had charley horses that could have run in the Preakness… and most tiresome of all was that [the others] strolled along, whistling and singing, and tossing a Frisbee back and forth."

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patrick F. McManus should be mentioned in the same conversations as Mark Twain, Dave Barry, or David Sedaris but regrettably, he's not. McManus's humor is warm, gentle and, if it fails to bring a smile to your face, you just don't like smiling. This was the audiobook and Norman Dietz was the perfect narrator for McManus' tales. Highly recommended.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

These are typical McManus stories, and he writes with a deft hand for saying a lot about his characters in a few words. These stories originally appeared in monthly outdoors magazines, which is probably the perfect outlet for them; compiled in a book like this, coming one right after another, I found the gags wearing thin.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Always great reads, but more for men in the northwest then women. If you want a northwest book for men who aren't much of a reader but like a good life and live for hunting, fishing and outdoor life. A great man.

[James Biser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick McManus is hilarious. This book contains a plethora of tall tales and humorous anecdotes about growing up, fishing, hunting, dating, and life. I listened to it as an audiobook, and I never stopped laughingl

[Chasen Robbins · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book is funny and entertaining, it is not the best of McManus’s works. I would recommend a fine and pleasant misery way before this one. However, I think this one will scratch a hunter’s comedy more so than the others.

[Jesse Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patrick McManus was a mainstay of my teenage years. These collections of his writings were an introduction to the "humorist" genre, which has been a big influence on my own writing style (not that I write that much). This is one of my favorites of these collections. Whenever I go back and read it I can hardly contain the smile on my face, which I'm sure is partially because of nostalgia, partially that it's just really funny.

5/5 Stars

[Crafty Cristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book of short stories, MacManus uses humor to talk about outdoor sports. Some are funnier than others, but I enjoy a mostly-clean humorous read and this fits the bill.

I read this to my kids as we had time over the last few months. It made for enjoyable family time.