Death: Breaking the Taboo

by Anna Howard (Editor)

Anna Howard, writer and broadcaster, has talked very openly and personally with a number of people who have in some way confronted death, either in their work with the dying, or in their experience of a bereavement, or because they have lived with a terminal illness, or simply because their age brings them close to the idea of death.
She includes, for example, Dame Cicely Saunders, founder of the hospice movement; Sir Isaiah Berlin, the philosopher, now 86; Dr Anthony Storr, psychiatrist and author; Dadi Janki, Head of the Brahma Kumaris; two Buddhist Lamas; a couple who have made their own coffins and booked their own burial ground; and a prisoner serving a life sentence for murder.
All speak with honesty and depth, often with humour, but without sentiment or fear. What is revealed is the value of preparing for death.

128 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1997

Reviews

[Jackie St Hilaire · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've packed my bags, I can go with a tranquil heart. Pope John XXIII,

Not talking about death doesn't keep it away. Likewise, talking about death doesn't bring it any nearer.

The book entails brief interviews on the often avoided topic of death and dying. Some stories are very down to earth with not too much emotion, others are filled with compassion and love.

Many of the people sharing their stories don't believe in an afterlife and somehow this doesn't stop them from living a full life but many have been given glimpses of the after life and share their knowledge and their thoughts.

Stories are told by psychiatrists, doctors, nurses, hospice workers, philosophers, clergy, patients, family members & others who have experienced death in their lives.

One is reminded that every day one is preparing for the unavoidable re-birth. Like birth, death is a transition into the unknown. The biggest mystery that we will have to face in our lives. Birth and death happen continually; they are processes within life. One has different death experiences throughout a lifetime. Divorce, end of a relationship, losing you job.

Talking about death is not something you can push on anyone. The difficulty you experience in talking to an obviously dying person comes from a tendency to talk about doing things, especially things in the future. The state of mind that you enter the dying process will carry you through. In forgiveness you enter a more peaceful state. This happens throughout your life and death is no different.

Living your life fully through your relationships prevents you from setting up barriers. Keeps you connected. Death should not be a separation but a continuous process of life.

Some thoughts about life and death from the interview:
Dadi Janki: It is because of the degrading of the human spirit that it creates chaos in our lives, but when the spirit becomes pure and divine, then the elements will also become pure and they will be ready to serve us. This will be heaven on earth.

Cicely Saunders: You must learn to love. For beyond the door there is nothing except__love.

Cathy West: Hell is when you die, you see almighty God and then you're sent away. That is the tortuous part. Than you have to work your way back to Him. The more sin's you've got, the further down the pit you go and the longer it takes to climb up again.

James Woodward: There is even a sense that we acquire relationships in order to escape an unbearable loneliness. Forgetting that whether or not you're in a relationship. life is lonely. (I would like to add my own observation on this statement: "This space that is called "loneliness" "emptiness" can be filled by God alone".)

Anthony Storr: The real fear of death is losing control. The denial of death, the inability to deal with loss and separation may be contributing to the modern problem of depression. Sometimes, creating an imaginary world is a way of preventing depression. Poets, writers, artists, musicians use this avenue and it oftentimes heals the soul. People like C.S. Lewis, Van Gogh, Schuman, Virginia Wolff, Sylvia Plath.
The more dissatisfied you are, the more creative and inventive you will be.

Barbara McNulty: Bereavement is slow and you never get it done. The process repeats itself and there is this ongoing painful cycle of grief. At different depths each time. With every new development, there is mourning. Each new bereavement re-awakens an old one and you just never get it finished. Anything that happens to us, when anyone who crosses our path forms part of a pattern, is part of a bigger picture.

When one can no longer pray, one just has to let go and ask for prayers.