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176 pages, Paperback
Published April 16, 2024
‘Buy new ECM 50. Call Charles Mingus. Pray to God. Show Lucille again how I fucked up my own nose—A way of hurting myself because of my guilt feeling re: my musical inefficiencies.’
‘Deep breathing must be considered in the light of its many therapeutic values.
By not allowing your lungs to go through this process one is first and foremost doing something drastically different to good breathing.’
‘In motion simultaneously are: 1. fingering with emphasis; 2. same size embouchure; 3. breathing; 4. etc. etc. Rather than confine, this enables the mind to be free to think, having completed the “menial” tasks, so to speak.’
‘Don’t worry about the race, worry about the pace. Holding tone to climax point—having control of the breath must be realised. What I am is jazz phrasing. This thing which jazz is all about, which they are all still trying to do. I am also jazz timing. Always use tone imagination. A mental hearing of sound desired. Uniformity of character and volume on every note. Do not forget, and do remember, to end notes with the CAA, CAAA, CAAAA not with the tongue joined up to the reed—as for so long mistakenly done!!!’
‘Sativa must be curtailed now, notice head-stomach disarrangement—The grass and trees and bushes were so green and clear. It’s supposed to go to 45 tonite—I had today two mangoes, half a broiled chicken, two small cantaloupe, plus my juice which I drink throughout the day. Grape, pineapple, papaya etc. I want to write much more now. I want everyone to know just what I go through.’
‘Ask Mingus if there is anything he wants me to play for him at Newport.’
‘All of the business part is devoid of moral underpinning. It enables me to function but lessens my moral fibre—my commitment, purpose—in other words, the only commitment I have now is to getting food for my next meal. Of course when I perform I endeavour to do what I seem to have to do and try to get into a trance-like state as seems to be what allows me to do this thing for which I am being paid and for which the bread for tomorrow’s meal comes.’
‘Since I don’t control any aspect of music but my own self-expression I would like to play some in order to realise my own potential. Through salvation we can hopefully reach our own spiritual salvation. In other words I don’t care about the ego thing—as long as I can feel musically fulfilled. Do you hear what I’m saying?’
‘Tell Lucille there is a big problem of fleas on cats in upstate N.Y.. A hungry cat is a healthy cat.’
“They were not meaningless noise squeaks but rather seemed to be higher notes that I have not figured out yet.”
“As I look in mirror—too much fat ass.”
“After tonite’s gig a great many decisions will have been reached and I trust insight into the whole horn dilemma finished. (I think I had a great nite as I did not return to this paper.)"
“Christianity has traditionally seen nature as an impersonal stage for the drama of human redemption.”
“Chromatic scale must be played accenting every other note.”
“While smoking cigarettes I found the following things to be true:
a) I felt a general depression of spirit
b) a general tiredness of body
c) a dark brown stain on my thumb and forefinger (on nail and fingertips)
d) sharp pains similar to indigestive pains in chest area*
e) a shortness of breath through the inability to breathe deeply
f) a restlessness without purpose, a nervous exhilaration with a strong feeling of defeat seeming inevitable”
“Sonny—Maybe think about retirement when listening to my playing (technically) at this point.”
“And I would then get responses by the birds who are really quite good musicians and willing and anxious to join your orchestra as well!!!”
.“Not only is there unlimited space (as in the universe) to explore in jazz, but it also embodies and can capture within its framework all of the other musics of the world.”
“Be sure not to breathe in through the mouth and (also what is incorrect) up through the horn, but always through the nose—audibly. This automatically makes you tighten your grip on the mouthpiece and thus sustain embouchure. Also, play a phrase out of breath before taking in more wind through the nose.”
"Take care of yourself."
"If I smoke then I must concentrate as a penalty."
“The sooner I face the startling and intriguing reality that there is within me a force working hard for my own destruction, even as I try to improve . . .”
“Even if it takes a week before you are sure of hitting the next note correctly, wait the week. So who’s in a hurry—especially to make a Boo-Boo???!!!”
“Definition of Advantages: Things which most people who have them don’t take advantage of.”
“On “Ruby[, My Dear],” a different movement can accompany each of the tones/notes of the initial melody, as an immediate example coming to mind.”
“Your beautiful collaboration with Thelonious is indeed worthy of the highest commandment from this individual it receives that. After hearing the record today, it was the necessary, proper, and right thing to so inform you. Continued success in and throughout life."
““Closing of the eyes is a form of shutting out the objective faculties (seeing) which helps to increase the other faculties such as those necessary to produce our music...It happened that the lights being brite caused after-images and sensations which helped by a small auditorium and backstage gave effectual visualization.”
“Always use tone imagination. A mental hearing of sound desired.”
“Even as we learn scales and “run” sound patterns on scales, we must prepare for the time when we forget these same scales and patterns—turning them instead into thoughts expressed, rather than as musical equations recalled, so that when we actually go out to play and start improvising we may stop unconsciously remembering and thinking and studying and recalling and allow the music which is as we have pointed out already in the air just waiting for us to relax and let it come out of us and our horns.”
“Ask Mingus if there is anything he wants me to play for him at Newport."
“Things have been quite strange here for me even though Lucille had psychologically prepared me for this inevitability. We had been married for almost 50 years after all.”
“Obviously this is a system existing as it were on borrowed time. In other words economically we can only hope that other nations never achieve our standard of living. If they did the world would become a desert! Economically America is the bane not the hope of the world.”
“Someone said “the easiest way is not always the best way.” Although no doubt this quotation was well intentioned it is in fact only half correct. In truth and in all practical application . . . the easiest way is the best way.”
“How would you like to play the Moog in the group? You can just start out adjusting the patches for the horn and then add a note here and there, a sound here and there, etc., ???”